From scarcity to luck, from inferiority to arrogance, from embarrassment to impulsiveness, to uselessness to indulge in fantasies - this is the innate nature of the poor.

The more tense and monotonous, the more monotonous and desperate, the more desperate and passable!

Born destined to be barren, autistic, paranoid, and blindly obedient - even if you have a lot of money, it is difficult to break.

People are not created equal. There are beautiful and ugly looks, and most of the beauty is in the rich family; The mind is wise and stupid, and the wise and enlightened are mostly in the rich and noble families; Family education and living habits are superior and inferior, and the best ones are mostly in the rich and noble families; The property capital is shallow and deep, and the deep is all in the rich family.

From ancient times to the present, what is there for a person other than his appearance, his mind, his habits, and his possessions? Looks and possessions are almost predestined by nature, and the mind and habits can be cultivated the day after tomorrow, and when it comes to practice, poor children can't escape firewood, rice, oil, salt, marrying wives and having children, where can there be extra loopholes and extra money to practice. Since ancient times, the bitter background of soaring Huang Tengda is rare.

Fortunately, there is still hope, Meimei is hope. The Zhong family's shop is lively every day after Zhong Xuemei comes back. Every time the eldest girl comes home, she always likes to chase her mother or grandfather to talk about work colleagues, classmates and friends, and the future of college, and she never forgets to spare ten minutes or an hour every day to chat with Xuecheng about study, arithmetic, and jokes. The seventeen-year-old soul is vigorous and excited, and the vigor and vitality are like the sun driving away the cold.

Since her aunt went abroad, Zhong Xuemei has lived in the shop. In another ten days, I left Guangdong to go to university, and I couldn't come back for more than half a year. She knew that her mother lived alone and wanted to be with her, but the wise girl knew that her grandfather and brother needed her more. Living in the shop, she can accompany her grandfather and tease her younger brother at night, and the next day she can also take advantage of her grandfather's love to buy breakfast, fill a cup of water, and hand over a bag before leaving. For her, the present life is acceptable, the future life is hopeful, and when she sees her father alone, a seventeen-year-old girl can't figure out the big topic of life.

As usual, Zhongli went out to drink at nine or ten o'clock every night, came back after midnight, and slept until eleven or twelve the next day. Xuemei was used to seeing her father's embarrassment when she got up early to go to work, and she was also used to her father's indifference when she came back from work at night. They used to have nothing to say between them, and the father-daughter relationship was far closer to the mother-daughter relationship and the grand-grandson relationship, and now, this pair of fathers and daughters can't even say three words a day. Zhong Xuemei was disappointed and sad, but anger and confusion always overshadowed disappointment and sadness.

Maybe the hard-working Xuemei should thank her father. A depraved and cowardly father who gets drunk every day will leave his children with no depravity and cowardice and drunkenness every day.

The He family, who played all day yesterday, were all too tired, Lao Ma slept until eight o'clock in the morning, Zhiyuan and Gui Yingjiu got up, and when Zhiyuan came back with breakfast at ten o'clock, the two children still couldn't get up.

At half past ten in the morning, Zhou Zhou's mother upstairs came with Zhou Zhou, and she also carried some of their Anhui souvenirs. The two women were talking and laughing in the living room, Zhou Zhou excitedly went straight to Yangyang's room, and when he opened his eyes with sleepy eyes, he saw his old friend, the villain first smiled, and then played with Zhou Zhouxin on the bed with the big toys brought by Zhou Zhouxin. Gui Ying gave Zhou Zhou's mother a small bottle of perfume, saying that she bought it in Hong Kong yesterday, and the two women shared many interesting stories about the growth of their children.

After Zhou Zhou's mother left, Yangyang ate breakfast and got dressed, and the two children chased and chased each other in the living room, babbling something that adults couldn't understand. Tsai was so tired that he couldn't get up, so he ate lunch and continued to sleep, and when he woke up in the afternoon, he was worried about Gu Shuyu, and he was alone on the small bed holding his mobile phone in a daze. Zhiyuan is either busy with housework, or in the room facing the computer, housework consumes too much of his time and energy every day, and the middle-aged man especially cherishes the quiet time when he can sit in front of the computer. Gui Ying was lying on the sofa like a lazy cat, always keeping her mobile phone in her hand, sometimes busy with work and sometimes playing, Lao Ma couldn't tell what she was doing with her mobile phone.

"When are you going to buy me a ticket?" Lao Ma turned off the TV and turned his head to ask Gui Ying.

"Uh...... Buy now, which day do you want? Gui Ying took a deep breath and sat up cross-legged. It's been two weeks of delay, it's time for the old man to go, and she's mentally prepared.

"The sooner the better! I'm healed with this foot! ”

"I'll take a look at ...... first" A few minutes later, Gui Ying asked, "How about the high-speed rail next Wednesday?" It's the fastest trip! Tickets for the day after tomorrow are sold out! ”

"There's a lot of work in the house, and your second brother can't be busy alone! It's just Wednesday! The old horse slapped his thigh, and it was decided.

Gui Ying ordered the purchase and began to go through the process and enter the old man's ID card.

"Alright! Bought it! Rejoice! A few minutes later, Gui Ying stretched out her waist and held up her mobile phone to let Lao Ma see the reminder that the ticket had been successfully purchased. Then Gui Ying curled up on his small sofa, thinking about what to prepare for the old man when he left, the more he thought about it, the more he thought about it, and the more he thought about it, his mind was messed up.

Seeing that he was leaving, the old man was most reluctant to let go of the two children. Tsai Tsai has been shrinking in the house lately and doesn't come out, and there will be classes the day after tomorrow, and no one can see them in class, and there is no chance to say a few intimate words. Yangyang because Zhou Zhou came back from his hometown, the two of them played together in the morning, ate together at noon, and took a lunch break in the afternoon, and it was already more than five o'clock at this moment, and they were still playing with broken toys together! Lao Ma plans to go out for a walk and remember the scenery of Shenzhen, but he can't find someone to accompany him.

After arriving in Shenzhen, Gui Ying almost never accompanied him alone, there were so many things in her mobile phone, so many groups and that group, partners, company colleagues, social friends, and acquaintances, chatting during the day, chatting at night, and still chatting on weekends.

They all have their own lives, and the old horse, who was left out in the cold, was disheartened and sat alone in a rocking chair looking at the naked sky in the distance.

In this life, Lao Ma has spent too much energy trying to make himself important, to be noticed or to be famous and prestigious, and to put it generously, he wants to be remembered. When he was young, he fantasized about achieving great things like the heroes in the play, and the pride in this fantasy gradually became smaller and weaker as he grew older, and finally the pride returned to the play unconsciously.

Later, when he gradually realized that life was a destined destiny, he pinned his hopes on his son Ma Xingbang. He spent a lot of effort on him, and that effort was far greater than what he spent on the second and third children, and now what kind of reputation does he have? No one can say clearly, I'm afraid even Xingbang himself can't say clearly. The people in the village only thought that he was a prodigal son who could not marry a daughter-in-law for nothing, but sadly Lao Ma also thought so as a father.

Now that he is old, he has long since relieved himself of the humble position that once made him extremely glorious, and when he began to imagine a good old age, he found that the beauty was some distance from him, although he had already stepped into his old age.

Looking back on my life, did I deviate from the original presupposition, or did I reach a happy end only to find that the scenery of the end was a little embarrassing and lost? What did he want to prove and proclaim to those around him in his presupposition? Declare that there was such a person in this history, and prove what this person has done, and how these things will be praised by posterity......

At this moment, the old horse was in a trance, as if he had never left that preset track in his life, and as if he had never actually stepped into that track in the past seventy years.

Life is so precious, the years of white clouds and dogs and white horses have made the precious lose their original brilliance and value. It has only been less than two months since he came to Yingying's house in Shenzhen, and many of the ideas he has stuck to all his life seem to be a little loosened - a violent loosening that has not been seen in more than ten years.

What has changed? The old man said that it was not neat.

The old horse's body is already old, his ability to work is not as good as that of the next generation, and his persistent exploits - forgotten by the older generation and ignorant by the new generation, the things he competes in this life are unconsciously not so valued by himself...... He was disappearing, he was disappearing with his world, and this was a fact that made the septuagenarian powerless and shameless and generous. Since everything will eventually disappear, then simply don't do anything. Does doing nothing mean that there is nothing to be said or something to be lost?

But if he lives to be 80 or 90 years old, how will he spend the remaining ten or twenty years? What could he do with such a long time?

When he was young, Ma Jianguo, who was full of energy, not only did his daydreaming beautifully, but he also didn't let go of the obscurantist period when he was half-asleep at night and the dreaming period after falling asleep, all for fantasy. Those majestic fantasies made me feel powerful and superhuman. Later, he became more and more dependent on this fantasy, so that the brain became more and more aware of him, and when the time came to physical torment, muddy life, middle-aged decadence, and sleepless old age, the brain automatically turned on the fantasy function.

Fantasizing about doing something is better than actually doing something, but the premise of fantasizing is that you have the possibility of your fantasy coming true. Now that I'm seventy years old, I have a lot of time to fantasize, but I don't have the will to fantasize about being strong. After waking up early and before going to bed late, whenever he had nothing to do, the old man was full of thoughts about Yangyang and Zaizai, and occasionally mixed in with Gui Ying and their three brothers and sisters. The three of them brought occasional unhappiness to the old horse, mostly heavy, but think about the little appearance of rippling nose and smiling, the old horse can be happy for a whole morning.

If you live to be 100 years old, the people you once supported are not dead and confused, the place you have dedicated does not belong to you for a long time, and the glory of your pride is gone...... What you do for others ultimately depends on the survival and vision of others; All the intersections of life that play and laugh with your own family will always belong to you safely.

The old horse is tired, old, and doesn't want to prove anything to this fast-changing world. He just wants to prove to Yangyang and Zai that his grandfather likes them very much and is more willing to pay for them, and he also wants to prove to his third child Yingying that he wants to make up for the time and love he owes her. Pity! Pity! He's leaving, and he's going to be the day after tomorrow.

This warm little family changed him and warmed him, but he couldn't do anything for this family, I'm afraid this is Lao Ma's biggest regret in his life.

Wide cobblestone streets, classical buildings, towering retro street lamps...... Walking in this precision-designed city, on the precision-designed streets, enjoying a spacious, orderly, simple and elegant environment, Bao Xiaotang almost thought that he was no longer Bao Xiaotang. At this moment, she was standing on the ground in Paris, waving goodbye to the Arc de Triomphe. Leaving the Arc de Triomphe, the tour group soon arrived at the Eiffel Tower, where they saw it towering into the sky, like the Tower of Babel in mythology. As the group approached, the tower was structurally sophisticated, unusually unique and towering in the midst of an ancient and calm European-style architectural complex. After going up to the tower, Xiaotang looks down on Paris in the air, the white clouds and fish belly are connected into a piece near the sky, the small square buildings under the clouds are densely spread to the sky, the sky is extremely flat, the ground is also extremely flat, the sky and the earth are all gray and white buildings, filled with the classical style of the Middle Ages.

Most of the people who take pictures here are foreigners, with curly yellow hair, high nose bridge, deep eye sockets, and beards, Xiaotang is here, as if he is also a foreigner, as if his front half of his body is blank, and nothing can be detected as empty as the blue sky and white clouds.

Standing in a new place and breathing new air, Bao Xiaotang seems to see a new self.

Is this brand new self temporary or a finished product? Will life be different if you completely withdraw from your original life? Xiaotang looked down at Paris and asked himself.

Over the past 30 years, looking at the surrounding people, the neighbors in the township, the relatives in the city, and the colleagues in Shenzhen...... The world is busy day by day, but few are happy and content. People who don't have money are unhappy because of money, people who don't have a house are unhappy because of their house, and people who don't have material scarcity are unhappy because of spiritual emptiness...... People hold the bowl and look at the pot, racking their brains to become a copy of someone else, so all beings are suffering.

Cities are the extremes of the group, and the biggest disadvantage of group life is the generation of categories or classes based on comparison. Even if a person does not want to compare others, he will be compared by others. Envy, effort, getting – this is the process of homogenization of people in a group. When a person does not have enough wisdom to pursue the true self and freedom, he becomes a copy of someone else, his body is exactly the same as someone else's, and his soul is disintegrated and dominated by others—this kind of physical and mental imperfection is like an infectious disease, which spreads more and more widely, and finally the whole society is infected with the "unsound personality" syndrome.

After 30 years of hard work, I changed my identity, changed my city, and learned skills, but I am still not happy. If the success and leap of an era comes at the cost of people's unhappiness, then this era will be hasty, defeated, and spurned in people's memories of a lifetime of panic.

Childhood was happy, but my own childhood was painful; Youth should be free, but one's own youth is very confused; It must be easy to stand at thirty, but it is very anxious to cross from twenty-nine to thirty-one tenth...... What makes people happy? Child? Love? Family? Money? Power? Bao Xiaotang has not seen people who have these at the same time, maybe they have a sense of accomplishment, but there are still unhappy among them.

Xiaotang's life looks like a long wait, what is she waiting for? Waiting for love, waiting for a good life or waiting for the sky to be full of stars? If there are stars tonight, she will spend the night outside the hotel watching the stars in Paris. If not, Xiaotang decided never to look at the stars again.

Stepping on the heavy and rugged stone brick ground, the group entered the Palace of Versailles under the guidance of the guide. Magnificent frescoes, elaborate carpets, geometrically patterned vaults, heroic sculptures inside and outside the palace...... There are many masterpieces of great men on display in the tall palace, and in front of a huge oil painting of seventy or eighty square meters, thirty-two-year-old Bao Xiaotang was completely shocked and conquered.

It turns out that my life is so humble, so shallow, so shallow that I can't bear to scrutinize.

Shallowness makes her lose herself and her personality is broken, and only deep can achieve the greatness in front of her - the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower. Where does shallowness come from? Bao Xiaotang carefully observed the eyes of Parisians along the way, and the calmness, calmness and softness in those eyes are rare in China. Where does shallowness come from? Xiaotang thinks that it should be closely related to the emergence of a city and the formation of a society.

The cause of all problems is contained in the beginning.