After Yuan Jiancheng left, her daughter-in-law also went out. Seeing that there was no one in the mourning hall, Lao Ma slowly walked to the coffin with a cane, wanting to remove the coffin lid to see the last side of Big Brother, but he couldn't open it. Tsai stuck behind the old horse and kept poking his waist and pulling his clothes to stop his grandfather, and the old horse heard Tsai's two rows of teeth trembling, and he also let go. He turned around and instructed Tsai Tsai to bring the stool, but Tsai pouted. Seeing that Tsai's face was blue and his whole body was tense, he was still the heart of the doll's family, so he had no choice but to bring a stool and sit next to the coffin, thinking about keeping a spirit for the big brother for a while.

"If you're afraid, go out and stay!" The old horse said to the boy.

"I don't dare! Grandpa, will you send me out? Tsai Tsai's toes moved around, and his face never dared to face the coffin.

"Tsk! Why are you so timid? The old horse looked up at the young man, his eyes glazed down.

"I ...... I...... I don't know him! I haven't seen it again! Tsai stomped his feet in anger, and even when he was angry, he pressed his throat and lightly got angry. The old horse wanted him to practice his courage, so he sat motionless by the coffin, holding the cane and dragon head in both hands.

Ten minutes later, Tsai Tsai was so mad that he strode out of the mourning hall and ran into the courtyard to protect himself with the sunshine of more than 30 degrees on the afternoon of August. He was the only one in the huge courtyard of the funeral parlor, and the young man walked around with his hands on his chest, walking around, and there was a disturbance in the distance that could startle him in a cold sweat. Ten minutes later, the boy was bored and terrifying, and there was no way, so he ran into the mourning hall and stuck to the old horse.

"Why do you have flowers on this dress?" Lao Ma asked, pointing to the pattern behind the black T-shirt.

"Not flowers! It's the English alphabet! Tsai Zai leaned on his grandfather's back to the coffin and whispered.

"What's written?"

“Are you OK。”

"What do you mean?"

"How are you?"

"Ahahahaha......" The old horse suddenly laughed and coughed with laughter.

After coughing, he asked, "Why are you wearing this?" That's not the right word. ”

"My mom picked it!" Tsai patted his thigh, looking innocent.

"You are the word...... Ay! ”

"My mom said this...... Grandpa Yuan...... He couldn't read English and she said it didn't matter! Tsai pointed to the coffin as he spoke.

"Hahaha......"

The old horse couldn't stop laughing, helped the coffin out of the mourning hall, and sat on the porcelain tiles by the flower bed to wake up and smoke.

The two relatives arrived at the funeral home at five o'clock in the afternoon, and when they entered the mourning hall, they saw the statue holding the coffin and wailing first. After crying, the cremation was arranged, and everyone pushed Lao Yuan's coffin to the cremation area behind the funeral home. At seven o'clock in the evening, it also came out, holding a small urn.

At this point, the old horse was very sad, and a tear silently flowed from his right eye—only a tear.

After the urn was stored, Jiancheng led his relatives to invite Lao Ma to dinner. Lao Ma politely refused, and after saying goodbye to Jiancheng, he led the boy back. When they returned home at half past eight, Gui Ying, Zhiyuan and Yangyang sat at the dining table early and waited for their grandparents and grandchildren to start. After changing clothes and washing hands, the family sat down and ate together.

"How's it going today?" Gui Ying asked the grandfather and grandson.

"It's so different from what I imagined! Worlds apart! "Tsai Tsai was so hungry that his cheeks were bulging with food.

"What's the difference?" Zhiyuan asked.

"Tsk! Their mourning hall is not comparable to other people's mourning halls at all, there is nothing, just coffins and statues - no! No one! And...... My grandfather and I were wearing black shoes and carrying black bags, but the grandfather's daughter-in-law was wearing a blue parasol and red leather shoes! ”

"You're not scared to pee your pants, are you?" Gui Ying teased.

"How is that possible! I spent a day at the funeral home! I'm not afraid at all if I attend the funerals of the other two families, but their ...... It's a little crazy! My grandfather and I arrived early in the morning, and they arrived almost at twelve o'clock! In the afternoon, there was no one to see, and in the evening two relatives came, crying miserably without tears, and after the cremation they discussed what to eat there! I've never seen a funeral like this! How ironic! Tsai Tsai showed a look of disdain, unhappiness, and helplessness.

"Hey!" The old horse leaned back, took a breath, and did not speak.

"Mom, do you know why his family's funeral is so simple? Because people's funeral homes stipulate that corpses are stored for free for three days, and if there are more people who have to pay for it, they are not willing to pay! also complained about the expensive things there, that expensive ......" Tsai Tsai complained about all kinds of strange things at the funeral at the dinner table, and Lao Ma has been silent. The first old man wiped his mouth and left the table and went to the balcony to smoke.

Two days ago, he had a high fever, and the old horse burned unconscious. He lay on the bed, flattened, motionless...... For a moment or two, the old horse thought he was dead—to heaven or to hell. When his brain was paralyzed by the drugs little by little, and his will was so weak that he could only obey the drugs, he really had to die for himself. At that moment when he seemed to wake up but not wake up, sleep but not sleep, life and death did not know life, he was recalling how he died, he stared at his body after death, and imagined the world after his death.

When people are old, Mai is old. Life is 100 years old, and there is always death. It can't be stopped, and it can't be stopped.

The old horse wanted to drink, but he didn't have any alcohol, so he could only smoke one pot after another. Big Brother died, he was not sad, he was sad about the funeral. He was angry with Yuan Jiancheng, but he was so angry that he was desperate. The old horse couldn't help but shake his head.

That funeral was shabby! It hurts to be shabby!

How can people in the city accept that they have left this world so quietly! Leave in such silence as if you had never been there! Lao Ma breathed a sigh, unable to accept the city's disregard for human dignity, and the city's inattention, inattention and inelegance of human death.

Regarding funerals, each place has its own traditions. A visit from friends and relatives when they are seriously ill is the best farewell to this person's life; Wipe the body, put on the shroud, and die with the purest flesh; People who knew him rushed to mourn, which was to comfort his soul who was still reluctant to leave; So people set up a mourning hall as a special place for his soul to say goodbye to the world—to say goodbye to his loved ones, to say goodbye to the village, to say goodbye to the world, to say goodbye to his own body; The solemn funeral, burial, and banquet are to celebrate the completion of a cycle from birth to death; Finally, when he was keeping filial piety, someone mourned him for a long time, and he talked about him, if there were still people burning paper and sweeping his grave for many years later, it would be really a happy thing, at least the deceased would have the opportunity to appear in the dreams of relatives and friends to relieve their troubles, chat, and talk about everything before their deaths.

China's thousands of years of clan life have somewhat diluted the fear of death, making it a ritual of reincarnation, even a ritual of joy like newborn.

The reason why people in the countryside are less afraid of death is because all villagers are exposed to death from an early age. Stealing candy at a neighbor's funeral when wearing open crotch pants, following adults to relatives' houses to mourn, funeral, and eating banquets when he was five or seven years old, visiting relatives who are about to pass away after being sensible, and walking in mourning clothes in the funeral procession of a relative who had hurt him when he became an adult......

Cities have removed these processes, leaving solemn ceremonies without a place or soil to take place, making it impossible for a person to die gracefully. What the old horse fears may not be his own death, but that he will die a humble, lonely, and worthless death, like autumn leaves.

How miserable it would be for a person to not be able to attract the attention of others even if he died! At this point, the old horse wanted to rush back to his Majiatun at this moment. To be able to die in the tunzi where he has been staying for 70 years is also happy without an uproar.

It is best to bury yourself in a large tree - a large locust tree twenty or thirty meters high, with lush branches and evergreen all year round. In that way, one's body will be paralyzed and dissolved as quickly as possible, and after the body is completely decomposed, it will melt into the soil and return to nature. After a person dies, it is also a good death to integrate all his flesh and blood into the earth, and all the nutrients of his life are returned to a hometown tree, those cells that once existed in his body, those stories in life, may one day be transported to the sky to re-bathe in the sun, birds, and breeze...... This is a kind of resurrection.

A person is only a hundred years, but a tree can live for a thousand years.

Whether it is a thousand years or a hundred years, after death, I will know that everything will be over.

The old man on the balcony was so suppressed by the majesty of death that he didn't dare to breathe at the moment.

After dinner, Gui Ying came out three times, and all three times saw the old man silent and haggard. Gui Ying walked to her son's room, sat on the edge of her son's bed and asked quietly, "Zaizai, go out to your grandfather today...... Sad? ”

Tsai put down his phone and grinned, "No, your old father is still laughing next to the coffin!" ”

"Oh! So why did he sit in a rocking chair and be stunned? Gui Ying rubbed her chin and wondered.

"Probably...... I think the funeral is too shabby, I can't stand it! I guess my grandfather thought about his own funeral, so it was a little uncomfortable. The young man said it understatedly, and looked at it with his mobile phone again.

Gui Ying sighed, walked out of the house with her hands in her pockets, and came to the balcony.

"Great, you still don't sleep? It's almost ten o'clock! For the first time in her life, Gui Ying urged the old man to sleep.

"I can't sleep, I'll be cool for a while!" The old horse shook the folding fan in his hand.

Gui Ying stood for a moment, and was about to turn around and leave, when she suddenly heard the old horse say: "You can buy me a ticket in two days!" I want to go back to Tunli! ”

Gui Ying turned around, clasped her chest with her hands, stared at her eyes and opened her mouth, she imprisoned the beast in her heart and asked slowly, "Why?" ”

"Nothing!" The old horse shook his fan and said.

"What's the matter, why don't you go back with your feet?" Gui Ying unconsciously raised her voice.

"Enough is enough! It's hot here! ”

"It's thirty-five degrees in Tunli now—cool?" Gui Ying suppressed the anger.

"Tsk!" The old horse twisted his head to the right and didn't want to speak.

"I haven't been here for seventeen years, I came and stayed for a month and left! What do you want the people in the village to say about me now? I thought I had done something to you, the village chief! After Gui Ying finished shouting, she suddenly felt that the back of her hand was wet, and she realized that she was crying.

"Tsk! Let you buy a ticket, buy a ticket, so much gossip! The old horse shook off and turned his head again.

"Buy what you buy! In two days, a super typhoon is coming, and you have to leave, and the high-speed rail is not leaving! Can you bear to walk back! Gui Ying went back to the room in a huff, and after entering the room, she slammed the door. Zhiyuan was shocked, and when Gui Ying sat on the bed, he saw her quietly but burst into tears, knowing that her father and daughter were arguing again.

"What's wrong?" Zhiyuan sat on the edge of the bed and asked his wife in a whisper.

"The old man wants to go back!"

"Huh? Why? ”

"I don't know, Tsai said that it was too shabby to see the funeral, and I felt uncomfortable!"

"And what happened to you?"

"I said that a typhoon is coming, the high-speed rail will not run, and he will walk back!" Gui Ying sobbed after speaking.

"Look at you! Obviously reluctant, and still say such ugly words! ”

"Oops!" Gui Ying fell into Zhiyuan's arms, and then wiped her tears and coquettishly.

"It's okay, I'll talk to my dad tomorrow, when this new typhoon passes, if he insists on going back, let's just say take him around before going back, what Dapeng ancient city, Hong Kong and Macao tours, so that the old man is happy!" Procrastination policy – how? ”

"Then you can say it! I'm afraid I'll be noisy when I open my mouth! I can't control myself......" Gui Ying said as she wiped her tears.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you! Pull those two little helpers of our family again! Recently, I saw that our dad had a good time with Yangyang! Yangyang was quite clingy to him after he came back from Hunan, and I guess he was reluctant to have children! ”

"Oh, don't say it......" Gui Ying felt uncomfortable again.

After turning off the light and falling asleep, Zhiyuan soon snored, and Gui Ying couldn't sleep. Turning left and right, I don't know how many tears I shed intermittently. She was almost about to let go of the resentment in her early years, she thought that the biggest knot in her life was about to be untied, and she felt that she and her father were really going to get back together and get along...... At this time, the old man was leaving.

Ma Guiying couldn't figure it out.

In the dark night, Gui Ying's mind was full of all kinds of figures of the old man at home these days—proudly fanning fans, humming to himself, smoking intoxicated, playing with Yangyang arrogantly, and childishly arguing with Zaizai...... Even the memories of my quarrel with him played in my mind over and over again.

It is true that there have been quarrels in this month, but the result is good, the children have adapted to him, he has also adapted to this family, the key is himself - the middle-aged Ma Guiying has almost adapted to this old father who is in the city.

During this time, after Gui Ying got off work, the first thing she came to the door was to habitually look at the balcony, even if she didn't say hello, as long as she saw a gentle old black shadow like Mount Tai there, she felt very happy, and even had an inexplicable sense of achievement. His usual habit of looking at the child as soon as he entered the door was changed by him after only a month. Ma Guiying had to admit that the old man was influential to her, more important than she was aware of, and she couldn't ignore it no matter what.

It's a pity that this old man is still as stubborn as he was back then, even if he is on crutches and full of gray hair. He's seventy, and she's still a little afraid of him! It's not that I'm afraid of being noisy or scolding, but I'm afraid that he will be silent. The silence made Gui Ying uncomfortable, and the silence made Gui Ying a little frightened and lost.

Gui Ying blamed herself, deeply blamed herself.

The extreme of resentment is not a great resentment, but guilt—a strong, irresolvable guilt.

Growing up with Tsai Tsai and Yangyang, she seems to have relived her childhood, but it was someone else's childhood; It was only when the old man inadvertently let go of Qin Yan and hummed in the house that she felt that she had truly returned to her childhood—her own childhood. Even when she quarreled with the old man, she had a beautiful illusion - she felt that she had returned to her youth! That is my own youth, my own life season.

The past between her and the old man, whether joy or tears, pride or resentment, confrontation or neglect, all emotions and intersections belong to her uniquely and decisively.

I was reluctant to let the old man go. Ma Guiying's heart has never been so heavy in these years.

The rough and sensitive woman flipped the wet pillow over and continued the rest of her night in tears.