Spring 2010

Pushing open the window, the eyes are full of the breath of spring, the sun is shining on the earth, and the grass that has just poked its head out is looking at the outside world in fear.

At this moment, everything is revived!

At this time, the hometown must be beautiful, with green wheat fields, willow trees and saffron, and chirping birds......

After hibernation, wake up.

The swallows that flew to the south in winter also came back in flocks. Back to their nesting place, it's under the eaves of the house-to-house house, because it's well ventilated, cool and dry, and sheltered from the rain. The older generation saw them as a symbol of good luck, the swallows were willing to approach people, and people also saw them as part of their own family, harmonious and stable.

Now in this city,

As far as I can see:

Noise, exhaust, pollution, congestion, noise......

Xu is not used to it, there is no empty vision, and suddenly I miss myself standing on the roof, admiring the world at a glance, the breeze is coming, and the water is not happy.

And here, I don't know what else to do except stay at this house.

At the moment, the only thing that makes me happy is the supermarket in front of the door, which is only a few steps away, and we will take turns to visit their house.

My mother took the three of us on our bicycles and walked a few streets to the market, which was crowded with people, and the traffic lights that I only saw in books when I was a child appeared in front of me.

Bustling shopping malls, crowded pedestrian streets, unfamiliar crowds......

The shopping mall in my hometown is similar to the night market here, that is, on both sides of a street is filled with things that need to be sold. With a few shouts, you'll be surrounded by hordes of people, scanning the items they need and asking about their prices.

But if you sell vegetables in our hometown, you may go out of business.

In the big city, as expected, as soon as you enter the mall, you will be overwhelmed by all kinds of dazzling items.

The first floor is selling mobile phones, cosmetics, and gold and silver jewelry, etc., which is more messy. I don't know much about the words "Wrap, manicure" written on the counter.

Men's clothing on the second floor, women's clothing on the third floor, shoes and bags on the fourth floor, children's clothing on the fifth floor......

In this building, you can find everything you need! But the price is also very terrible, the price of a piece of clothing is enough for our family to eat for a week.

After a morning of shopping, the overall feeling is very uncomfortable, when you choose something, there will always be a shopping guide will follow you throughout the process.

It's also my least favorite place to go shopping, and it still is.

I think when I buy something, I will definitely take the initiative to consult the shopping guide sister when I encounter something I like, and there is no need to follow the consumer throughout the process, I think most people will feel this way!

At the time, in my eyes, they were all extremely scary, and to be honest, I had never seen so many people. Life here is fast-paced, and it doesn't feel like a laid-back home.

Now that I think about it, my hometown feels like a paradise......

The whole holiday was taken to various relatives' houses, and I was uncomfortably "sighted". And the question everyone asks is "Who is bigger of these two dolls?" Or, "These two dolls look exactly the same."

……

It's not at all the same, okay, alas~ I deeply doubt that the eyes of our relatives are all short-sighted.

In fact, after experiencing more, I realized that the questions they asked were just superficial efforts to find topics.

It is true that everyone is unaware of our existence and thinks that there is only one boy in the family.

My younger brother has been learning to draw since he was a child, and it is said that he is quite good at drawing, in fact, it is to add some hobbies to children.

And I sat at home and looked at those art photos of him, and all I thought was: doting!

Pampered, this word is not an exaggeration, accidentally bumped into it to all kinds of cold and warmth, injections and medicine seem to be more serious than a car accident.

He is like the prince of the family, and we are like their nannies......

But it's okay, it just so happens that I'm also afraid of injections, and I have been getting vaccinated for a long time since I was a child, and finally, I saw that every child was given a candy after vaccination, so I made up my mind.

……

End of the holidays!

I don't know who I heard the "rumors", but my parents sent my sister and me to a private elementary school not far from home.

The school is small, but it's still relatively large.

School

That was the beginning of my nightmare......

Monday morning, automatic ringing, hurried pace, disdainful gaze......

All eyes are on us! Everywhere we go, we are greeted with strange eyes.

In the second semester of the fifth grade, there were no reports of new students, so this made us even more confused, is it that the whole school of students knows each other? However, if there are three classes in one grade, there are about 1,000 students in a school, how can they all know each other? But if you don't know each other, why are they all looking at us as if they were visiting a zoo?

……

Curious, confused, panicked...... Spread all over the body!

After all, there is no one we know here, and each region has its own unique culture, in fact, our dress has revealed itself, so we will accept so many eyes, they are also children, and it will be strange.

However, the truth is even more terrible than this, and it is not easy for transfer students to integrate.

We carried our school bags and sat down in the classroom with the head teacher. What's even more puzzling is that they can't understand a word of the dialect here, in my cognition, I think that all places speak the same, after all, we haven't been far away, and the strange feeling continues to spread......

After we sat down, we only listened to the homeroom teacher's plastic Mandarin, "Which school are you from?" ”

"......" understood this time, but I didn't know how to answer, we have such a primary school in our village.

It is not named.

My sister replied hesitantly, "Rural...... Little ......"

The teacher nodded and asked me again, "What about you?" ”

I opened my big round eyes in panic and pursed my mouth. I don't know how to speak, after all, I don't have the habit of talking to strangers. Then I thought to myself, isn't this asking knowingly, of course my sister and I are in the same school! I didn't answer her, I just bowed my head.

In the past, when the guests came to the family for the New Year's holiday, I ran to the room to play, in fact, because adults sat at a table to eat, and children were not allowed to eat at the table, especially girls, which is also a kind of feudal thinking!

Maybe it's because of this that I naturally don't talk to outsiders, and I didn't know so much at the time, I couldn't say hello, I didn't say thank you......

Only live in your own little world.

Now, "I'm sorry" has become my biggest obstacle.

I didn't answer her, but the teacher didn't insist on it, and thoughtfully sat us down.

Start Lessons!

Textbooks, workbooks, workbooks, stationery, ...... Everything was not what I was familiar with, and when I was writing my homework, I was not allowed to use the ballpoint pen we brought from my hometown, only the pencil.

I said that I couldn't use a fountain pen until I was in sixth grade, and I began to dream of sixth grade, and so did most of my classmates.

In addition to Chinese and mathematics, there are many courses, such as ideology and politics, science, physical education, and reading......

Among them, this reading class is to go to a designated classroom and read some extracurricular books freely, but I have only heard of it, but I have not really experienced it, and the reading class and the Chinese class are a teacher, that is, our class teacher, and the reading class should become our Chinese class.

After the second period

The students all ran to the small square frantically, since it is a private elementary school, there is naturally no playground.

I don't know why, my sister and I also followed them to the playground, and when I saw where the head teacher was, I was standing, and to be honest, I didn't remember any of the classmates in the class, they were all just one side.

Then a class is a squad, arranged vertically.

All face the national flag and begin the flag-raising ceremony every Monday......

Follow the rest of the students and start saluting!

At the end of the ceremony, free time begins.

The only commissary on campus started the busiest time of the day, and the small space was full of people, frantically picking out what they wanted to buy.

I was also curious to squeeze in, after all, there was no commissary in the school in our hometown, to be exact, there should be only one commissary in the whole village.

took out the five cents given by my mother before leaving today, picked a piece of candy, lined up, walked to the checkout of the commissary, and watched the other children call the aunt at the door "Auntie~"

At first, I thought they were relatives, but later I realized that the aunt they were talking about was what aunt they meant.

When it was my turn, I handed the money to the aunt, but she didn't ask me for money, and I was stunned for a moment, so I walked out with great interest.

A piece of candy costs five cents, and the same sugar can be bought for five ...... in my hometown

Surprised.

Later, when I went to the commissary again, I had enough money, otherwise I would have been embarrassed......

The whole day passed in such a blur.

I left homework, there is no homework in our old home, after all, it is already the dead of night after seven o'clock......

When I got home, I stared at the homework book in front of me, and then looked at the homework left, which was equivalent to our holiday homework, and the rental house at that time was very small, with a bedroom and a kitchen, and a large bed in the bedroom, so there was very little space left......

We carried small benches and sat on the edge of the bed, in rows.

Started the long process of writing homework......

At this time, I want to go home and cry with my friends and tell them what I have been through.

But it's not that bad, it's just not used to it!

From this point on, my personality changed, and I didn't think I could speak their dialect here, so I didn't speak so that no one would pay attention to you.

Later, I found out that the more you don't speak, the more people will bully you! Not to mention as a transfer student.

Bullying the good and fearing the evil is a psychology that everyone may have.

Not long after the start of the school year, the head teacher talked to my sister and me, and after school, took us to a small courtyard near the school.

"Look at the learning environment here!"

Dazed!

We nodded with wide eyes. I don't know how to answer her, and I don't understand why she brought us here. Subsequently, a classmate walked out of the courtyard.

"This is your squad leader!" The head teacher pointed to one of the boys and said, "This girl has just transferred in like you, they do their homework here every day, and the teacher tutors them, and their studies are very stable!" ”

Really.

Going around and around, she actually wants us to make up lessons with her, but there seems to be nothing to make up for in the Chinese class.

"Do you want to come and study with the teacher?"

"We ...... I don't know......" said my sister.

"It's okay, go back and ask your parents!"

"Hmm!"

Trembling, we went home and told our parents that when only my younger brother was there at the beginning, their lives were still very rich, and the two of us came, which was equivalent to a burden. I didn't have a meal after eating, my younger brother's art class never went to again, and the burden of three children going to school was already very heavy, and making up classes was a "luxury"!

……

We went to her to make up for the lessons, the reason was so that we could keep up with the study, in fact, it was a different place to do homework. Now that I think about it, the head teacher looked like he was engaged in pyramid schemes.

I thought it would be enough to refuse the head teacher directly, but I didn't expect that after the refusal, she tried her best to "torture" us. I sat in separate seats with my sister, and if I couldn't answer the questions in class, I was punished......

At this time, my table mate was a boy, and this was the first time I had sat at the same table with a boy, and in my previous school, the seats were all casual.

At a young age, I began to reminisce about the past......

For the first time, I felt the physical education class, all kinds of new games and tests, and I was happy and painful!

The first time I saw the legend is an English class, listening to the feeling of listening to a book from heaven! But fortunately, the English teacher was very gentle and understanding of us.

The first time I heard about science class, both the content and the teacher were good, but ......

The day's science class was as usual.

A male classmate sitting at the table in front of me was very handsome, and his handwriting was good, which was somewhat similar to mine.

However, he lost the book himself, his eyes kept turning, as if he was plotting something, and then, turning around, snatched the book from my hand.

I'm puzzled!

Why is that?

So, the student swore that he opened the science book, took out his exercise book and pointed to the words on it, "Look, this is my book, even the words are exactly the same!" ”

It's exactly the same, it's clearly my book. I want to counter "that's my book, I write the name ......"

"What if you write a name?" He hurriedly interrupted me, "You stole my book, what's so hard about writing your own name!" With that, he picked up the pen and crossed out my original name and wrote his own name. Then, I opened my homework book and compared it with the book, "You see, her font is different, and it is not written by one person." ”

Vile!

"How can you do that? Schoolmate. "I'm helpless, but I don't know how to justify, this is my book, can I still not recognize it? I'll admit that the words in the homework book are messy, and that's because I didn't stay up all night, and I wrote while I slept and dreamed......

At this time, there were onlookers (←←) standing next to me, but looking at their eyes, none of them believed me.

"I ...... There is no ...... "grievance, I want to cry!" I tried to take the book, but he turned around and took it for himself.

Dumb people eat coptis, and they can't say what they are bitter about.

I glanced around, cold eyes! Jeer! Vituperate! No one defended me, it was obviously my book, and I must have known it myself, but then gradually you will find that there is no fairness in this world at all, and it is useless for you to say more to those who do not believe in you.

The weak will always be the object of bullying, as long as there is one, there will be thousands of times!

In order to hide my heart, with tears rolling in my eyes, I lowered my head, and I lost the lawsuit.

It's just that you won't defend yourself......

The class bell rang.

Looking at the science teacher, walking into the classroom in high heels, and the smug look cast by the scumbag boy who took my book.

I stared at him viciously, and he quietly stretched out his hand to his side and made a "yes" gesture......

I just looked at him with a smug look, but I couldn't make any rebuttal.

……

And I, silently, took out another book and put it on the table, pretending to be a science book. I think the teacher can't see it when the book covers are wrapped, and I'm still sitting in the corner.

The fact is that the teacher really didn't notice me, but the girl behind me "complained"!

Scold! Immature!

The teacher came over and looked at the book in my hand, and when he saw that it was indeed not a science book, he asked me why.

I weakly pointed to the boy in front of me, "He took my book." ”

"You're talking nonsense, it's clear that you stole my book!" People are shameless, and trees still need bark, alas!

Shameless.

"Yes...... That's really my book! I muttered quietly, tears rolling in my eyes as I poked my tablemate, "I wrote the words on the book one by one, and he must have seen it." ”

"Really?" The teacher looked at my tablemate.

"I ...... I don't know......" He bowed his head even more resignedly, blushing.

This is definitely the most unpromising boy I've ever seen!

I suddenly mustered up the courage to say, "Whose book is it, who knows it in his heart!" ”

He also pretended to be very reasonable and scolded me, "Of course it's mine, you steal ......"

"Okay, okay, if you don't have a book, you can't take other students' books, find other classmates to borrow one!" The teacher interrupted him, but he still didn't believe me, after all, I was just a new student.

I didn't speak, glared at the so-called teacher, "I just came, and I don't know anyone. ”

"Then let other classmates borrow it for you, just you!" The teacher pointed his finger and it was the female classmate behind me.

At that time, my heart was cold, and I could clearly feel the smug face of the boy in front of me. However, this teacher actually asked the girl who just sued me to borrow a book for me?

Alas~

Am I trying to remember what bad things I did? Why everyone is targeting me, I didn't understand it at the time, but now that I think about it, some people just hate you for no reason! Even if you don't provoke him.

It may be because of the transfer students, or it may be because of outsiders, I feel the horror of campus speech violence, no matter how you explain it, no one believes you, let alone listen to what you say, at this time, I chose to be silent.

Explanations are also invalid, and no one will believe you.

In the middle of class that day, I looked at my book lying quietly on someone else's desk, and I wanted to get it back, but if I got it back, it would really prove that I stole it!

It's hard to be a human being.

However, every little thing in life can make you clearly see everyone's character and humanity!

Summer 2019

"I've cried something and I'll laugh and say it one day......" is one of my favorite lyrics, and I'm trying to do it myself.

When I recalled this, I really wanted to slap myself a few times, why was I so cowardly at that time? Why didn't you refute it at the time? Why cringe? Why bow your head? Why let him distort the facts? Why?

Why......

Now, I often ask myself, "Tell me why?"

yes, why?

I don't want to reminisce, but I can't help but want to tell myself that I will never let this happen again.

It is to let these things always remind me that I can no longer let anyone bully me, I was born as a human being, there is no need to live for anyone, only for myself.

And don't put yourself down in order to pander to others.

Every little thing in life is to accumulate experience for the future, if you cross it, then everything will be open to the sky, but if you don't cross it?

It will be a shadow for the rest of your life......