"The big windmill squeaks and turns, the scenery here is so beautiful, the sky is beautiful, the ground is beautiful, and there is a group of happy friends ......" accompanied by beautiful music, it is not difficult to think that it is a children's channel that I visit every day.

This was also opened at the risk of "life".

I loved watching everything that the children's channel broadcast at that time!

At that time, our whole family was chasing a TV series "Unforgettable", which was really a series, and this TV series seemed to have no ending, the first, second, third...... One has hundreds of episodes, and I can't remember exactly what I played, just some family trivialities, but this is definitely the longest TV series I've ever chased.

I often wonder if I can see other people's lives, so are other people looking at me? With this doubt, even the action of eating has become elegant! At that time, I didn't know what an actor was and what filming was, and sometimes I saw some other children participating in activities held by the children's channel.

Envy......

I also fantasize about going to participate.

At this time, when I was in elementary school, I could be said to be very patriotic, and I watched "News Network" on time at 7 o'clock every night.

I love my homeland! This habit has persisted for a long time, and it can be said that he is a very young "old man".

Because my grandfather loved it so much, I slept with my grandfather because she needed to take care of her younger sister.

"Emphasizing... Implement...... "My little brain was full .........of these words, but it was also of great help to my later study of ideology and politics. Stick to one thing every day, and the effect is obvious......

Later, I will find that it is much more meaningful to pay attention to national events than to watch cartoons, after all, it is a test in current affairs and politics. After "News Network", there are all kinds of crime-solving films, not to mention, they are really good-looking.

But the only thing I dare not watch is horror movies, since I was a child, I was a very timid person, I remember once my grandfather bought a disc, it was a story about a female ghost, now I think about it, it can be said that it is fake, don't want it, it's not scary at all. But at the time, it was such a very fake ghost story, but I thought it was real.

The specific content is still deeply memorable:

Black and straight, a woman in a red cotton jacket, to be exact, a female ghost, as long as you eat 99 human hearts, you can be reborn, without any special effects, and the protagonists are all aunts and uncles. Before eating a human heart, he will hide a thing similar to a heart in his arms, and then the camera turns and takes it out again, pretending to eat it, and every heart needs to eat bad people, and finally, this female ghost is reborn......

Even so, it scared me so much that I couldn't sleep.

My sister was also at home at the time, and she, on the other hand, was the opposite of me, and she could watch that disc several times a day. But I was scared half to death when I listened to its background music, but my stop was of no use to her.

It's all out of the same mother's belly, why is there such a big difference.

I was afraid that it would not be fake, so I made a great decision to scratch this disc so that it would not be able to play properly even if I wanted to watch it.

I was so naïve.

Even if you scratch a knife mark, it can still be played normally, but the strange thing is that other discs, a little bit rotten can't be broadcast. God is really going against me......

In the end, it was only when my sister and grandfather got tired of watching it that I could watch my favorite cartoons with confidence.

Our three sisters stayed at home, especially lively, today either I made you cry, or you made me cry, and then took turns to go to grandma to complain, fortunately grandma still believes me.

And the whole village is mostly full of girls, so it's not hard to think of why! All families pay more attention to boys, and take them into their own care, and the girls they give birth to are left to the elders of the family.

But our family's genes are abnormally eccentric, my father, uncle, and aunt are three families, but there is only one boy in my brother, if my brother was born before me, maybe the world has nothing to do with me! But that's not the case.

"No matter what the world is like, we must always be kind!" Oh, yes! Since you can't change reality, try to change your life for the better!

In the summer of 2002,

When my younger brother was born, I was only four years old at the time, and I watched as the family sent my mother, who had a big belly, to the hospital in the market to deliver the baby.

Ignorant, I guarded the house, and the day grew until I saw my grandmother come back with a coat full of blood.

Mother and child are safe!

But looking at that coat, fear spread, why does it take so much blood to give birth to a child, and then it seems that the child is too big to give birth, and it is almost a caesarean section. Fortunately, there was no caesarean section, otherwise it would have left a scar. Although it was a smooth birth in the end, it also consumed a lot of physical strength, which caused the mother to have back pain.

That's one of the reasons why I don't want to get married and have kids.

After my brother was born, my "status" also changed, and he became a star-studded existence. The baby of the whole family, and I, as his so-called sister, have accommodating him in every way.

Even so, I can see that my grandmother still loves me very much, her love only exists in the bottom of my heart, and I seem to feel it.

The younger brother stayed at home for a while before being taken away by his parents.

After all, he is the only male in the family, so of course he has to stay by his side and take care of it.

When my brother was at home, I often bullied him in different ways, and now that I think about it, it's really naïve.

It's good to be yourself~

I returned to the lives of our three sisters, and after two years of studying in the first grade of primary school, we finally ushered in the second grade.

In addition to learning "a, b, c, d, e......" and so on every day, I also need to memorize Chinese texts, which is not difficult for me, but the next ninety-nine multiplication table definitely has a five-star difficulty coefficient for me......

Mathematics is a nightmare for every child, especially girls. Addition and subtraction in the first grade is barely learned, and now I have to memorize the ninety-nine multiplication table, oh my! My whole body and mind were in rejection.

But, so what?

In the morning, the sun rises and the sun sets.

The sound of chickens and dogs barking, accompanied by the sound of Lang Lang books, is particularly pleasant and beautiful!

"One by one, one by two, one by two, one by three, one by four, four by four...... after the morning self-study, there will be a morning of math class, because there were only Chinese and math classes at that time, so the class schedule is arranged in the morning or in the afternoon.

Brain power plus hand power, hard work, mouth still do not forget to mumble on the back, brain work quickly, hand work did not fall, frantically to copy the multiplication table on his schoolbag......

Just in case!

In case you don't memorize it, or if you get stuck somewhere, you can take a glance at it at a critical moment, which is also very good.

I remember that in our stationery box at that time, the ruler or other stationery was printed with a stepped multiplication table, and the merchant could be said to be very intimate.

As the bell rang for our manual lesson, the children quickly sat down in their seats, straightened their backs, put their right hands on their left hands, and looked up at the teacher who was sitting in front of him......

The atmosphere did not dare to come out.

So, I started reciting one after another, and when it was my turn, the teacher stood in front of me, "Brush!" "One by one, one by one, one by two, two ......"

Start backing.

When the back is stuck, I sneak a glance at the "little tips" on the schoolbag!

What I didn't expect was that I finished memorizing it......

When it comes to real use, multiplication is very good, but when it comes to division, it is another big one! Now when it comes to division, it can only be solved by a computer.

The second-grade Chinese class was taught by my grandfather, and it was not because of my grandfather's relationship, I would be more relaxed in class, but my grandfather would pay more attention to us, and the slightest small movement in class would be "killed" by my grandfather's eyes.

Whether it's memorizing a text, or answering a question, these privileges are inevitable on a daily basis.

……

There was a fixed teacher in each grade, and I just wanted to finish the second grade as soon as possible, so that I could escape from my grandfather's "clutches".

Now this stage is also the years when my grandfather was the principal, and my grandfather was very practical, and used the school's public funds to buy some prizes and certificates for the students......

When you don't have enough money, you pay for yourself.

At this time, my sister and I like the privilege very much, and you can pick the stationery you buy first!

Even if we didn't get good grades, it shouldn't be too much to have a stationery box!

But these rewards no longer exist after the change of principal......

After class, a few of us girls played sandbags, jumped rubber bands, and played hide and seek...... Extracurricular games are also very colorful. I can only adjust the jumping band to my knees, and it has nothing to do with me if it is a little higher, but my sister can, and I am proud at this time, "Look! The most powerful one is my sister! ”

In our school, there are often some small vendors who come to sell things, books, flower rulers, calligraphy......

At this time, I am only responsible for standing aside and taking a look!

But suddenly one day, the school gave one of us a "Xinhua Dictionary"! It's still the ^_^ latest version

Then he told us that he was a philanthropist doing public welfare, giving out a Xinhua dictionary to every student in every school here.

Thanksgiving!

This is the first time I have received a kind act from an anonymous benefactor, and his small gesture has brought great warmth to the children in the poor area. Therefore, I am determined that if I have money in the future, I must do public welfare, which is the real meaningful thing.

Just like now, there are many good people who have built libraries for poor primary schools and sent warm clothes......

They are all really respectable people!

Only when the beneficiary is a single beneficiary can he truly appreciate the importance of public welfare.

To this day, the Xinhua dictionary is still in my hometown, in my desk, intact!

Looking at the walls plastered with awards, honor, gratitude, hard work......

Fifth grade

We were already the oldest students in the school because there was no sixth grade. The more I grew up, the more curious I became about the world and wanted to go out and see, after all, it was boring to be in the same place every day.

On this day, my sister and I took our little sister to the next village, the whole road is still a little far, there are a lot of wheat fields in between, and no one cares about it!

Finally, we walked to a place where there were people, found a few friends, and started playing hide and seek...... I'm really scared of the unfamiliar environment, what if I get lost? And none of the adults here know each other, unlike all the adults and children in my village.

After all, they are all children, of course, they don't think about it so much!

We played until it was almost dark, went home, and was educated by my grandmother.

We can play as we please, but we can't go too far, otherwise, what if we get lost? And with a little sister, I was taught!

Later, I just played around.

Almost every family in the village has a dog, and I greet them when I see them when I walk by, because I think all dogs are as docile as our dogs.

This is true, but there are exceptions.

On this day, my sister and I went to play with one of our classmates, and when we arrived at her door, we found that the door was closed, and knocked on the door, and knocked out a big dog, very fierce, very big, and ugly......

We looked at each other, and then, with its ferocity, left a perfect lip mark on the back of my buttocks, and my sister was no exception!

We cried T_T

It's the first time I've been bitten by a dog......

The classmate we were looking for was not there, but her grandmother came out, looked at us who had been bitten, took out two candies from her pocket, one for each person, and ate the candy happily, forgetting the pain.

Speaking of candy, there are also some traditional rituals here, that is, if someone gets married or has a baby, they will stand on the roof of their house and throw some coins and candies down, at this time, it is the happiest time for our children.

Pick up candy and eat it~

If you go a little late or bend down fast enough, then this matter will not be related to you, and it will be swept away in an instant! Only a few pieces of residue left behind by the firecrackers remained......

After all, it is a rural area, and everyone will think that children will only be successful when they are admitted to university, and they will fight for their families.

Whenever a child in the village is admitted to university, the villagers begin to praise the sky, and this is the time for comparison......

"Look at who's children have been admitted to college, and then look at you, you must study hard!"

"Look at whose children are excellent and sensible."

“……”

Chinese parents should all be the same~

But my grandmother wouldn't say that, she would just encourage us, "We can get in the future." ”

And I want to be her pride, to be what the neighbors call "someone else's child".

The flag in oneself must be realized no matter what.

I don't like separation,

There is no feast in the world! But every time I separated, I couldn't get over it for a long time, and I didn't want to accept such a reality......

That spring

My aunt came back and brought back my sister who was only a year younger than me, we were the same age, we talked in everything, we both liked yellow colors, we both loved painting, she only stayed in our house for a few days, the whole roof of the bungalow was covered with paintings, she painted, I painted, and my sister painted, we got along very well since we were children, but we always couldn't see each other often.

She will stay at our house for ten days at most, and then she will go back to her grandmother's house......

After she left that day, I hid on the roof by myself, looking at the paintings we had painted, and my heart was very unpleasant, empty.

There is sadness, and there is nostalgia......

Sure enough, what your parents are like, you will also become like you, I am like a grandmother who is more emotional......

But it's always because of this that I'm infinitely good to someone, but I'm not their most important friend.

I've been hurt and wept......

This year, my mother came back with my younger brother, and this was the first time they had come home in more than ten years, and they were ecstatic, and the fawn bumped into ......

Looking at her is both familiar and strange.

At that time, I didn't think about it so much, but I would blindly ask for care and attention.

But in fact, everything I did was in vain......

One day, she said she was going to take us away, and I believed it.

Although she also liked me on the surface, in fact, my brother was the only one in her heart.

"What's up?" With a dialect from other regions, they did return.

When I was at home, I looked forward to them coming back to see us every day, but it was not so positive when it came to this day, there were many children in the family, but I was the most inconspicuous one, and then I thought about it, it turned out that I had a tendency to start autism so early.

My mother bought my sister and me exactly the same dresses and hairstyles.

You really raised us as twins......

Once at lunchtime

Grandma made a pot of chicken, but Mom picked up a piece of chicken liver and gave it to me, "Come, your favorite food!" ”

en……

I've never been a fan of animal offal, so I felt a little cold, but I ate it anyway.

After all, I haven't raised it.

It's understandable that you don't understand.

Winter 2009

This winter, the wind is biting and cold.

However, on this very day, an uncle who worked in the same place as my parents came back, and it was said that he was going to take my sister and me away and take them to Inner Mongolia, where my parents worked.

At 11 years old, I didn't understand what it meant, and if I had known that this was the case, I wouldn't have left. It's been ten years, and in 2019, I've only been back to my hometown twice, and once it's just to get an ID card.

I'm ashamed!

Before leaving, my grandfather took me and my sister to the city, bought a lot of things, I have always wished to have a bicycle of my own, but unfortunately it has not been realized, to a shop that sells bicycles, grandpa picked two pink cars, and the boss made an appointment for these two cars.

I was young and ignorant, "How do I take it back after I bought it?" ”

Grandpa didn't speak, but I still remember the look of loss in his eyes.

Grandpa was always strict with us, and he never showed that he cared or anything like that, but in fact, we all knew it in our hearts.

When the children in the village heard that we were going to Inner Mongolia, they all smiled and chattered:

"Are you going to live in a yurt?"

"The savannah can still ride horses!"

"And beef jerky and lots of delicious food."

“……”

Before I came to Inner Mongolia, I thought so.

That day, my sister and I put on the newly bought red cotton clothes for the Chinese New Year, got on my grandfather's electric tricycle, and embarked on the road of no return.

I don't have a complete concept in my head, will I not be able to see my grandmother when I leave? Just when I thought I would only go for a few days and come back, later, I realized that I was wrong.

My grandmother packed me and my sister with a big bag of things, and stuffed us with a drop of change, telling us that "you two have never been far away, you have to take care of each other, and you have to go to the big city!" Don't worry, come back to see me and your grandfather when you have time............"

"Mmmmmmmmmm......mmmm

……

Grandpa took us to the station, there was not much language, the only requirement was that the two of us memorize Grandpa's mobile phone number, of course, I still remember it vividly.

Following my uncle, my sister and I came to the bus, and it was okay at first, but after a while, my stomach issued a warning, and after a while, it began to turn over the river and the sea, and the things I had just eaten rushed upward. Fortunately, there were plastic bags at the time, otherwise it would have been miserable!

This is the first time I've ever made a coach!

After arriving in the city, I transferred to the train, and I was still dizzy, but I could only endure it. I used to cry to my grandmother, but now my heart is empty, and I feel that I have lost my only support.

The train finally arrived after about 24 hours, and I can't remember exactly how it got through, but I know it was a hard seat.

We were very happy to stand on the sidewalk to greet my parents, and if I had known that it would be like this, I would never have come to this city and see the people coming and going.

Disappointment is saved!

At night, around 2 a.m., the street lights are still dedicated to illuminating the road ahead. However, in my hometown, there are no street lights because there is no nightlife in the rural south!

It wasn't until I saw two elongated figures pampered by the street lamp walking towards us that I was sure that this was Mom and Dad! They rode my bikes and took my sister and me home, a two-room rental house with five people crammed into a single bed, small but at least content.

This night,

I seem to be losing sleep!

I miss grandma, I'm very emotional, I'm always worried a lot, I miss grandma, I miss grandpa, I miss big cats......

Just before we left, for some reason, the kitten fell stiffly there because of stealing pesticide food from the backyard at night, and never got up again, I often feel annoyed, if I had kept the kitten on a leash the night before, these things should not have happened.

I often miss when I sleep, and there is a "meow~" in my ears, I lift the quilt, and the kitten crawls in, and then it snores and falls asleep.

I've been sleeping with cats and dogs since I was a child, and I'm a rural kid, and I don't care about these things to feed.

In my hometown, the status of animals is also very respected, grandma loves them very much, I love them too, and I respect them because they are my best friends.

Later, the big dog of the same age as me found a place that no one knew about due to his lifespan, and left us quietly, the pig brother was sold a long time ago, and the chickens and ducklings could not escape the fate of becoming a dish during the New Year.

……

In this way, the originally lively home became lifeless, and there was no way to go back. Only a big cat and my uncle's little sister were left with my grandmother.

That's right, I thought a lot at a young age, and now I still like the simple and simple self I used to be.

"Green tiles and red bricks,

willows and moss,

It was and is ...... the same."

Bye! My hometown.

Bye! My childhood.