How was "The Last Life of Lao Ma" written? I won't publish it today, but let's talk about the motivation and process of writing.

There was an essay on the writing assistant, titled "The Fourth National Realism Online Literature Essay Contest", which was sent out at the end of March 2019, and it was already early July when I saw it. Rushing for a prize of 100,000 yuan, I participated. The essay clearly stipulates that the theme of the entries should be the 70th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China, so I set up Lao Ma, a 70-year-old protagonist who was "born" with New China; The article wrote that "the social changes before and after the New China and the changes in the family and country are the materials", so I chose the old bridge section of rural people entering the metropolis, and wanted to depict the drastic changes of society and the country through the perspective of farmers and old horses; It clearly mentions the need to "write the spirit and life of the new era", so I conceived it as a family unit, and from this there were two nuclear families of He and Zhong and four or five secondary families such as Ma Xingxia, Ma Tianmin, and Fan Weicheng; The third requirement of the essay is that "the work should belong to the genre of realistic themes such as urban and emotional", so there are emotional contents such as Bao Xiaotang's feelings, Bao Xiaoxing's marriage and his wife's marriage, He Yiming, Gu Shuyu's first love, etc.; Therefore, in addition to the main marital relationship, the relationship between parents and children, the male protagonist and the female protagonist, the two-child family, sisters' feelings, the old man's old age, domestic violence and other family aspects, there are also social topics such as Ma Guiying's workplace bumps and the economic environment reflected by the exhibition industry, the reemployment of middle-aged He Zhiyuan and Zhong Li, Bao Xiaoxing's departure from the city and his return to his hometown to contract land, Zhong Xuemei and He Yiming's college entrance examination and other social topics.

The outline was set in July and started in August, and the National Day, the title of the work was revised, the work was included in the VIP, the Spring Festival, the epidemic and the outline adjustment made due to the epidemic...... As of today, "The Last Life of Lao Ma" has been floating in my life and mind for eight months. Looking back on the original reason and motivation for writing this book now, it is really funny, and what is even funnier is that the essay has long passed the day when the results were announced, but there has been no result.

A good work will make the reader believe that some of the characters in the book seem to be real, such as Lin Daiyu, Lu Zhishen, and Zhang Song, not only think that these people are real, but also believe that the things attached to them are real, such as sentimental temperament, the force of uprooting weeping willows, and the talent of forgetting. The premise for the reader to believe is that the author himself believes it. Perhaps there are indeed Zhuge Kongming who made decisions in Longzhong, Song Jiang who made peasant uprisings, and Jia Baoyu who had a well-behaved personality, but there are very few characters who can trace accurate prototypes, and the vast majority of characters are fictional by the author. This kind of fiction comes from the author's setting, assembly, fantasy or mental role-playing, etc. The main characters in this book have hardly been encountered by me in real life, so it is purely imaginary. After a long time, these characters in "Old Horse" have been integrated into my personal life, at least before and after writing, I remember a few times I inadvertently called my husband an old horse, and after shouting, I realized that I was wrong and laughed.

Because of the short and late time I wrote, there was a time when I struggled to speed up in response to the "stable update" of the starting point, and now I look back at what I wrote during that period, and I am slightly dissatisfied. In order to stabilize the "military spirit", I posted a note near my keyboard, which read: If you are too impatient, it will not last long. After graduating with a major in literature, I firmly believe that the quality of the text of a work determines the height and depth of the work, as well as the longevity and dissemination of the work. Since then, the speed has slowed down, and the quality of the text has at least met its own requirements, but the frequency of updates is really indescribable, and I am seriously sorry for the editors and readers.

In order to pursue my so-called qualities, I gave up a lot myself. For example, 4,000 per day, 600 per month, the best time to sleep for details or titles, and personal health that is depleted by maintaining a high concentration for a long time...... In September last year, once I drank strong tea and couldn't write, the whole person was extremely anxious, and when I suddenly remembered the four words "vomiting and blood", the words pierced my heart and broke down and cried. There is no doubt that writing is anxious, painful, and sacrificial, sacrificing good eyesight, harmonious endocrine coordination, secular family life, sound social interactions, and even innate social skills. At the beginning of last year, when I decided to start creating and publishing on the online article platform, it was a very stressful time, and one night I felt a beard growing on my chin - a one-centimeter-long, semi-circular black beard, and I was scared that I felt like "my life is not long"! Now touching the other mustaches that have grown from his chin, he smiles and gets used to it.

The process of writing changed me, made me profound, pushed me closer to my ideal be, and of course all this painful process in turn made my unique writing or style. I crumpled and categorized my feelings or expectations of pain, and then placed them on characters such as Bao Xiaotang, He Zhiyuan, Zhong Li, etc., so I became them and ghostwrote their lives for them. The process of writing is also poor and hurried, extremely lonely, self-inflicted, inferior and narcissistic, without the slightest feedback, like a person struggling to act in a grudge drama on stage without an audience. I used to be unable to sleep at two o'clock in the morning, thinking that if someone stole the essence of "Old Horse", then I would **** him first and then xxxx him, the funny thing is that I wrote hundreds of thousands of words in front of me, and there was no reader.

When others use techniques, brush tickets, assemble, entertain, and please...... When treading water at random in the field of writing, I am using all my strength. Bringing out others is not that they think that I am much higher or superior than others, but that they understand that I suffer a lot more than others. This pain stems from the anxiety about the value of my life and the great helplessness of the rapid passing of life, and this pain forces me to do my best not to play with it. Sadly, I'm only at the bottom of the great and serious field of writing. Writing is by far the only thing I think can offset the meaninglessness of life, and when there is no way back, I can only give it my all.

Finally, thanks to my readers. I'm so happy to see someone vote for me, and I can't wait to roll around at home! Counting votes has become almost the happiest thing I do in my free time, even though the number of votes is still very low. Here, I would like to thank Hengzhi Bright for its support.

I have decided to spend the rest of my life with a pen, may I live up to me, and wish myself good results in 2020. In addition, there are many good works and good authors in the realistic classification of the starting point recently, and I salute these truly contemporary authors! I also wish you all the best in 2020 in your field!

White Stone Dragon

Monday, March 2, 2020