The cold wind and snow disappeared with the passing of Valentine's Day, the long-lost sun shone on my body, warm, I moved out of the chair, sat in the classroom corridor and soaked in the sun, I enjoyed it very much, I was like an old man under the touch of the sun, closed my eyes peacefully, didn't think about anything, and cherished this rare "enjoyment".

Maybe I'm too good at enjoying it, the students of Class 17 occupy this floor, one after another, everyone sits in the corridor, embracing the sunshine, the life of the third year of high school is too depressing and depressing, how long has it been since you have seen the light, it's time to recharge.

At this moment, I don't feel sadness, I don't feel pressure, my heart is extremely calm, and even a ray of sunshine rises in my heart, am I back to normal under the treatment of sunshine, can I live a normal life in the future?

"What are you all doing here, are you old, why don't you all go back to study for me, take the college entrance examination immediately, and work hard for one more minute to get one more point" Lao Gu, the director of discipline, suddenly appeared, scolded us, and drove us all back to the classroom.

I don't remember how many times Lao Gu scolded us like this, not to mention that he wanted to be lazy in class, even if it was a normal recess, he was everywhere, always stimulating us verbally, if it was before, I would definitely not be able to help but go back with him, but now, it is all indifferent mentality, there is no fluctuation in my heart, and I even thank him a little, his harsh words make me more focused, so that I don't have time to think about messy bad things, so that I can rarely be a good student now.

I don't remember the last time I finished my homework on time, and I didn't get distracted in class, but today, I listened to every class so engrossedly, and I took notes from time to time.

Du Minrui was very surprised to see me so focused, watching her walk towards me, I knew that nothing good happened, she stared at me with her eyes rolling, and then began to taunt.

"You can't be stimulated by something, right, is this still you, yo, you still know how to write homework, what's wrong, now you're short of money, you can't afford to hire a writer"? Standard Du style sarcasm, listening to his words, I didn't get angry at all, and even wanted to laugh a little, isn't this nonsense, if I hadn't been stimulated, I'd write wool homework.

Seeing that I didn't pay attention to her, she was interested this time, and didn't continue to entangle, as soon as she left, Zhang Xiaohua came over and hurt me again, and then began to brush up and write homework.

I can only hear the sound of brushing the brush in the evening self-study, and I can probably tell whether it is a thin needle or a thick needle when a needle falls on the ground, in fact, I don't know what I'm writing, on the surface I'm very focused, in essence I'm no different from the machine, I just don't dare to let myself stop, and I don't dare to let myself relax, otherwise, the mind will take me back to the hellish scene, am I escaping, I asked another me, but after a long time, he didn't answer me, as if he had disappeared, I suddenly couldn't feel his existence, I was used to this sudden change, and all of a sudden, without his cynicism, I was so fucking relaxed, hahaha, I suddenly burst out laughing, and my classmates all looked up at me, and then they all shook their heads, as if to say, this kid must be crazy.

But after all, I can't chase and kill in the night, I can still escape and comfort myself during the day, but the night, let my true nature be exposed, the business can be hidden, I will face this damn computer every night, I will finally think of the past in the dark and cold night, I finally clicked on her space again, saw her new dynamics, as always, that touching smile and sweetness.

At this moment I realized that the untouchable is the best, but I don't deserve it, I really envy this guy, how did he get her heart?

Her image is replayed in my mind as before, and now when I think of her, I think of the countless dark nights before, and without her, I would have lived a boring and hopeless life.

I'm a very boring guy she can last for two years, I don't know how hard she suffers, I began to examine what I've done in this online relationship in the past two years, cigarette after cigarette, more and more frequent, this is really a good thing, can make me clear in the dark brain and thinking ability, so that I can remember almost everything, the result of the examination is that I deserve all this, in this relationship, I don't look like a lover, but more like a girlfriend of the opposite sex, even when facing Hao, I can still play the beautiful tradition of courtesy and humility in a high manner, I am so selfless and great, I can also be humble in emotional matters, and I also comfort myself in the name of beauty, online dating is unrealistic, there is a person who loves her in reality, why don't I let it go, but now, all this seems to be repeated, but this time the hero is not Yu Hao, I don't need to be humble, and I don't need to think about how to face her.

Now, I seem to understand what she does, yesterday I was still thinking, why didn't she block me, didn't delete me, but as usual, the only difference is that we didn't communicate, there was no more keyboard tapping, and I no longer felt the spiritual love and the once powerful sustenance in the Internet.

A beautiful dream, I could have made it beautiful and beautiful, but this dream was broken by me stupidly.

"Don't sigh, you think you are something, do you think you see through everything, you are too self-righteous, remember, you are now a nuisance, a dog in human skin, you can be yourself". The voice finally appeared, his words were harsh, but they calmed me down, my heart was fluctuating, and now, I am extremely calm.

I didn't argue with him, and he didn't continue, it faded into my consciousness.

It seems that I already have to lie in your list anymore, I should take the initiative again, just like when we first met, you were enthusiastic about me, I told you like a saint that the network is unreliable, under your entanglement, I took the initiative to delete you, and now, finally fulfilled my dream two years ago, it's time to put an end to it!

It's just, Gege, you're out of the way now, I'm the one who wants to draw an end now, how I hope, I want to deceive myself again, it's fake, none of this happened, can we go back to two years ago, I must take the initiative, I must be different from now, I must ......

"Delete her, make the right choice, delete her, delete it, delete it and you will be free, you will be able to be a human again, not a dog, move your fingers, it only takes a few seconds, delete her, delete her......"

This voice played in my head in a loop, and I seemed to really see another Chen Yitian, wearing a school uniform, reading like an old monk, and with a faint smile. A few seconds? Hahaha, yes, I just need to click on your avatar, and then at the bottom of the options below, that line of eye-catching red letters, just click lightly, it's good, what a simple thing.

A few seconds? The love in my life, this person who lives in my heart, is gone, and in a few seconds, am I really liberated? Can anyone give me the answer, you tell me, can I be free, can I really be free, after I am free, you tell me!

Looking at Gege's avatar, looking at her on the computer wallpaper, my hands trembled, and suddenly, tears fell, looking at the input bar, I couldn't let myself finish it.

Let me be the last escaper, let me escape one last time!

"Thank you for two years of companionship, I wish you happiness, and there will be no time in the future".

"Zichen, you board my QQ account and send this sentence to Gege."

'Hmm'.

I curled up in my computer chair, intending to enjoy the picture of this dream one last time, compile this dream, and then draw the end of the dream with my own hands!

On the evening of February 15, 2017, at 11:57, I was fine, still alive!