He Zhiyuan couldn't get used to the smell of the rental house, couldn't stand the crampedness and decay of the rental house, and was not used to the broken second-hand furniture in the rental house. He misses the books he has accumulated over the years, the smooth and clean elm bookshelves, the carefully selected brand clothes, the medals and honors he has had, the perfume smell on Gui Ying's body, the unique movement and humor of Tsai Tsai, and the ubiquitous toys......

He Zhiyuan, who was disheveled and bearded, lay on the bed in the rental house and tossed and turned. The tenants next door pounded on the wall in the middle of the night, the customers of the shops downstairs shouted in the street after supper, and a few wild dogs barked angrily a hundred and ten meters away...... Perhaps, he just moved out and was very uncomfortable.

The middle-aged man is afraid of losing his home, but home brings him confusion and pain. Tracking the original intention of moving out, he never hesitated. Rushing, tired, expressionless days are not the life he wants. In order to calm his father-in-law, reassure his wife, keep the children clean, and more importantly, let him calm himself, he had to isolate himself for a while. He Zhiyuan, who has passed the age of not being confused and running towards his life, can no longer let go of himself and talk about his life like a soulless person.

Realize that the past is not admonished, and those who know the future can be traced. It's not far away, and I feel that today is but yesterday is not.

He Zhiyuan reflected on himself, he hadn't read for a long, long time, and he was ashamed that the books he once loved had gradually become decorations at home; It had been a long time since he had written on paper with a pen, and the reading notes, articles, and courseware that he had treasured for many years and made him proud of were now dusty waste paper; He hadn't kept a diary for a long time, and what he had lost was not only the good habits that had lasted for twenty-five years, but also the only channel he had to communicate with himself, the ability to keep him optimistic, sober, calm and orderly, and his desire to explore himself and perfect his soul bit by bit.

On the morning of packing the suitcase, he casually or intentionally put a copy of his favorite and very old "Tao Te Ching" in the mesh pocket of the suitcase lid, but He Zhiyuan did not have the courage and dignity to open this book that he used to recite silently every night. I don't know when he started, he, like others, thought that middle-aged people no longer needed the crepe set.

It was from the moment he thought he didn't need cultural supply and spiritual nourishment that he cut off the opportunity to communicate and contemplate with his other self.

It was also from the moment he stopped looking at himself that he became messy.

For five years, he lost himself over and over again, then salvaged himself again and again, saved himself, and then continued to lose himself again and again. The way he wants to become, it's getting farther and farther away from him. The fact that he is himself makes him more and more annoying. He wanted to break through again and again, but he fell deeper in the breakthrough again and again. When he knelt on the ground to pick up sauerkraut leaves and minced fish one by one, his face was red as if he was picking up the sour soul fragments scattered among himself.

He should be grateful to his father-in-law for coming. The old man acted as a catalyst, quickly dismantling the disguise of his life, allowing him to see his worst reality as quickly as possible. He knows very well that the bleakness, misfortune, depression, and pain of life come as soon as possible.

Standing at the threshold of his own life, He Zhiyuan has the wisdom and foresight to choose his own path, but he does not have the courage and energy to step into the former school

At the age of forty, he has a memory, reflexes, physical strength, perseverance, and intelligence...... They are all going downhill, and even the instinct to conceive and preserve hopes, dreams, ideals, and wishes is also declining. The heart is down, and there is no hope is exactly his current state. Is this the end of this life? The middle-aged man was categorically unwilling.

He is always troubled and thinking, and the last thing he needs in reality is thinking. Too much thinking can interfere with action, making a person a fool of action, a fat person of thinking.

Realize that the past is not admonished, and those who know the future can be traced. It's not far away, and I feel that today is but yesterday is not.

Early on Wednesday morning, just after six o'clock, the alarm clock on the mobile phone had not yet sounded, and Gui Ying, who had a lot of worries, woke up first. The old horse sitting in the rocking chair was smoking after tearing up the old yellow calendar, and when he saw that the boy was packing his schoolbag and going out, he hurriedly went to the house to find Gui Ying.

"What are you doing? Finished packing? Seeing that the door was open, the old horse pushed the door directly and went in.

"What's wrong? Is there something wrong? Gui Ying went to the white closet to find socks to wear.

Lao Ma leaned in front of him and whispered to Gui Ying: "Boy, the exam is bad - the tenth from the bottom!" After gesturing ten, Lao Ma nodded frequently and stared at Gui Ying to show its seriousness.

"Oh...... I haven't asked him about his grades yet! Gui Ying put on her socks and looked for her phone.

"You're as busy as a ghost! Oh yes! I've washed your clothes and thrown them in the basket! Lao Ma pointed to the dirty laundry basket next to Gui Ying's bed.

Gui Ying saw that all the clean clothes with clothes were stuffed in the dirty laundry basket, and walked over to take out the clothes and put them on the bed.

"The baby is not beautiful in his heart, you take some time to cheer him up! Also, Yangyang called you at night, and when you got up early to see her, you pinched her a few times to wake her up and let her know that you had been here! "Wherever Gui Ying goes, the old horse follows. Northwest people have a straight intestine, and they must come out with these things that they have saved in their hearts to be happy and smooth.

"I see!" Gui Ying was a little moved, touched that her father, who was once invincible, would wash her clothes and take care of the baby for a while.

"It's sixty-forty! Tsai Tsai is about to leave, you drive him, and the car turns around and it doesn't affect your work! When Gui Ying went out, Lao Ma grabbed her and helped her come up with ideas.

"yes, I see." Then, the father and daughter left the house a little mysteriously.

When she went to the restaurant to get medicine and drink water, Gui Ying saw her son walking towards the door with her schoolbag on her back, and hurriedly shouted: "Boy, wait a minute!" I'll send you to school! ”

Tsai stopped and turned his head, didn't understand it, and asked with his eyebrows: "Huh?" ”

"Mom is sending you to school! After sending you off, I drove directly to the company. ”

"Why?" Tsai Tsai was a little surprised to see the abnormality.

"Nothing." Gui Ying, who has rarely sent her son to school in recent years, is a little embarrassed.

After going to Yangyang's house to appease her daughter, Gui Ying went out with her son. The old horse saw the same thing and was proud in his chest.

The car was on the road, and the mother and son were speechless. Tsai Tsai looked out the window and yawned, Gui Ying hesitated and didn't know how to speak, so she simply got straight to the point: "Your grandfather...... You're the 10th from the bottom of the top 10 in the neighborhood, aren't you? As soon as Gui Ying spoke, she was amused by herself.

"Hmm. I didn't do well in mathematics, physics and chemistry. ”

"Your science major...... I didn't do well in science, hehe! Gui Ying smiled bitterly.

Seeing that his son didn't answer, his face was displeased, Gui Ying smiled, and when the car reached a bridge, Gui Ying pointed to the bridge and rushed to his son: "Look at how high this bridge is?" ”

"What do you mean?" Tsai Tsai was puzzled.

"Originally, when I first came to Shenzhen—I didn't know your dad at that time—I worked in a factory, and a girl was the same age as me, tall and thin, and we went into the factory together like sisters to buy clothes for more than half a year. Later, the factory was divided into shifts, and the girl went to a production line with easy work and high wages, and we have been in contact a lot less since then. Guess what it would be when I hear from her again a year later? ”

"How do I know!" Tsai Tsai did not cooperate.

"That girl jumped off the building! Three floors, higher than this bridge, dead! Very miserable! I went to see her when her family came to collect the ashes, and I will never forget it! ”

"Why?"

"The girl was fair, with big eyes, a high nose, a beautiful face, a temperament, and a very kind person, and I later learned that she was taken by a manager of the factory! The manager got married, lied to her and didn't get married, promoted her in the factory, and rented her an extra big house! It's white, it's just that I've kept her for nearly a year! Later, there were rumors in the factory dormitory, and the girl couldn't stand it and was under too much pressure, so for this! Jumped off the building! He was only eighteen years old when he died! I kept thinking, I'm going to be the one who will be adopted, what will happen to me? Anyway, I'm not going to jump off a building! Resigned, also filial piety, secretly ran out of the factory, and filial piety exposed that manager, also co-ordinated... Definitely not jumping off a building. Her jump, this life clicked and stopped at the age of eighteen, how much damage it caused to her family, don't her family, I have only been friends with her for half a year, and I have left a shadow for a lifetime! ”

"What are you doing here?"

"Hey...... Your grandfather asked me to comfort you, but my mother couldn't think of how to comfort you. Maybe it's not appropriate to tell you about that girl, but when I think about it, there's nothing wrong with it! In China, at this moment, there are millions of people your age, and at least half of them are not studying in ordinary high schools, so where are they? If you can't get into a good high school, you can go directly to various private technical schools and technical secondary schools. That is, they don't even have the opportunity to take the college entrance examination! Most of these dolls are from the countryside, a few are from the city, they are all not good at studying, and then at the age of fifteen or sixteen, they go to school in other places alone, and their parents give them a pocket allowance of 1,800 a month, and they call takeout when they are hungry, copy the answers to exams, and get a worthless diploma in three years - what's the use? It's just a mess! The sad thing is not that they are messing around, but the sad thing is that they are young and it is time to learn to do sparing, but they are wasting their time! After entering the society, most of these people are food delivery and coolies! It just so happens that this group of people is the same age as you! There must be some of them who work very hard, but no matter how hard they try, it is difficult to jump out of their fate! ”

Gui Ying, who was holding the steering wheel, turned her head to look at her son and continued: "What does Mom want to talk to you?" Your current state is the result of more than ten years of hard work by me and your father, since I entered this high school, I have worked many times, and your future life is happy that you have worked your own! Fortunately, fortunately, you are sensible and motivated, and now you are slowly maturing, and we can correct a problem if there is a problem, and my mother believes that you are okay in the general direction! The pressure doesn't have to be too much, if you fail the exam once, you will make up for it next time, if you can't take the college entrance examination once, we will take the exam twice, and if you can't find a job twice in the future, you will find it five times! As long as you don't think about it like a girl who jumps off a building, everything in this life is easy to discuss! ”

"Yours is the same as my grandfather's!" Tsai responded.

Gui Ying was very surprised when she heard her son like this, her eyes widened, her pouted lips moved silently, and she compromised after a while: "Hey! I was educated by your grandfather! There must be overlap between the three views. ”

"Not like that, my dad! My dad ...... He was disappointed in me, I couldn't pass the undergraduate exam like this, my dad asked me to reflect and let me think of a plan to prepare for the final exam! He and I have to be at least 20 in my class in the final exam to have any hope of going to college......"

"Your dad is right! He's tactical, damn it's mentality! If a person pays too much attention to the result of doing things, it will mislead the mind, to put it bluntly, this is called quick success. One thing can produce good results - he does it, it does not meet the expectations of his heart - he does not do it, he does not even try. Too much competitiveness is the root cause of many people's failure in life. There are many people who fail to fall in the college entrance examination and commit suicide in entrepreneurship, they are too strong for the goal, and if they can't achieve the goal, the whole person collapses instantly, and my mother has seen and heard too much in the past 20 years. Haven't you heard your grandfather talk about the principle of 'rigidity and easy breaking'? The harder and harder things are, the easier it is to break, but the softer things can't break. Your character also needs to have this kind of tenacity, and if you fail, live as usual, and keep trying. There are a lot of young people in Mom's company, and when they just do something, they can't wait to tell them, and when they can't finish reading it and can't hold on, they immediately pick on it - what kind of line is this! You have to work hard in the process, very hard, different from Chang Rong's efforts, and as for the result, do your best! ”

"My grandfather told me this, something like that!" Tsai Tsai understands.

"Talk to your grandfather more, the old man is an experienced person, cherish his days by your side. As soon as you go to college, he is also old, and he will not have a chance to talk about it in the future. You listen to my mother, eat more good things in these two, raise your spirit, fight wars, exams are the same as talking about customers, and you fight for the mentality. You can fail, but you can't have a broken mentality. If the mentality collapses, people will not be able to do things! Don't be in a hurry to study first, make yourself confident first, talk more to Handian, and the girl...... It's called Shuyu, right? Talk more, be relieved, and when your mentality recovers and you feel confident in yourself, you can follow your father's score! Success? ”

"Done!" Tsai Tsai heard his mother mention Shu Yu, embarrassed and happy.

"Alright, it's time to get out of the school!" Gui Ying parked her car not far from the school gate.

"Mom, you can't go down, you look at the traffic light!"

"Know—Dao!" Tsai Tsai got out of the car with his schoolbag on his back.

"Is pocket money enough?" Seeing that her son was about to cross the street, Gui Ying shouted warmly at her son's back.

"Enough! I'm leaving! Bye-bye! The boy looked back and beckoned.

Gui Ying looked around in the car and watched her son enter the school gate, walk through the square, and disappear in front of a school building. Seeing that her son had morale, the woman's heart was filled with sweetness and warmth, and then she drove to the company. Along the way, I thought of the guilt for my daughter, my gratitude to Lao Rao, my worries about my son, and my indescribable complex feelings for my husband.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, Lao Ma appeared at the entrance of the kindergarten on time. Seeing that Yangyang came out with a pink doll in her hand, Lao Ma waited for her to come to her, took her schoolbag and water cup, pointed to the plastic doll with a pig's nose and a big head, and asked, "What is this?" ”

"Elephant Doll!"

"From the school?"

"It's not! Fang Qitao sent me! Yang Yang held the doll and teased.

"Tsk! What's the matter again! It's like a dog skin plaster, and it's sticking to you! ”

"He's not a dogskin plaster, he's a good friend of mine! First best friend! "People are proud, and their lips and teeth are clear.

"Why? Because he gave you toys? ”

"Hmm!" Cute and honest nodded.

The old horse snorted and asked her, "What about Zhou Zhou?" You don't want to be around, are you? ”

"Yes! But he's now my good friend number two. ”

"Because Zhou Zhou recently took a calligraphy class and didn't have time to play with you, he was ranked second, right?"

"Yes!" The child's voice is crisp and crisp.

"Tsk! You're not promising! Why is it so easy for people to buy! The old horse poked Yangyang's head as he walked.

"I'm promising!" Those who have been lifted to their sense of dignity loudly declare their position.

"Cut! For a doll of a few cents, you have good words, and when he pinched you and beat you, why didn't you scream? ”

"Fang Qitao won't beat me now! Zhao Siming...... When you push me in the morning...... Fang Qitao helped me ...... him Pushed back......"

The ripples were exciting, pitiful and unclear, and the people were seriously acting out the scene on the road. As a spectator, Lao Ma stopped to enjoy her exclusive performance. The two of them went back arguing and arguing, and it was already half past six when they got home after dinner.

Also at half past six, Bao Xiaoxing rode a bicycle to the farmer's market. There was something big in her heart, and she couldn't care about the embarrassment of meeting her old neighbors in the farmer's market. Entering the farmer's market, the woman strode straight to the Zhong family's grain shop. At this time, Xuecheng's grandfather was eating alone in the living room. The old man made fried rice with vegetarian vegetables tonight, and ate it silently in the living room with a bowl.

"Great!" Hyosung took off his hat and walked into the shop, his face stiff.

"Xing'er!" Seeing that it was Hyosung, Zhong Neng quickly got up to greet him. The daughter-in-law hadn't come to the shop for a long time, and Zhong Neng really thought that the two of them were going to break up. At this moment, I suddenly went home, and my face was very happy.

"Have you eaten?" Zhong Neng asked, pointing to the kitchen.

"I ate it! I'm here to talk to you about something. Hyosung found the familiar broken stool and sat down heartily.

"You, you!" The old man put down his chopsticks and wiped his mouth with the old sweat towel on his shoulder.

"My sister-in-law Tang Erming went to work, and after she worked, no one took care of Chengcheng. I have to go to work at night, from the clothing store to Malatang in the middle, and the time is also tight, so I don't have time to pick him up from school, and I don't have time to accompany him at night...... The shop still has a lot of money to borrow, and I can't move my two jobs for the time being...... "Hyosung swallowed.

"I'm coming! As before, you send him to school in the morning, I pick him up from school in the afternoon, and by the way, I eat with the baby in the evening, eat well and save money! When Zhong Neng heard that he could meet his eldest grandson again, he couldn't hide his joy.

"What about the night—where does he stay?" Hyosung half-spat and half-revealed the most critical question.

"Uh......" The old man looked at the fried rice and scratched his ears, then looked up and asked, "Whichever side you live in." ”

"You have to send me over at night, it's too hard, it's not safe at night, and it's turbulent for children to run at both ends at night; Stay here...... Ay! Great, that's what I'm talking to you about! "Hyosung didn't say it explicitly, they all knew each other.

"Li'er...... He hasn't been drinking lately! It's been almost a month, and I really haven't drunk much! I don't think he's been the same lately. Besides, it doesn't matter if you two live in the future...... Or is it leaving, the baby has to see him, right? The father and son who kissed, how could they be if they didn't meet! Zhong Neng slapped his palms and said frankly.

Hyosung bowed his head and did not answer.

The conversation fell silent.

Hyosung thought back and forth in his heart, calculated a whole two, but there was no result, and when it came to him, there was only compromise.

"Ah...... That's big, next Monday night, you remember to pick up the kids. Half an hour later, Hyosung got up and explained.

"Remember, remember! You can rest assured. Seeing that Hyosung was about to leave with his bag and hat, the old man hurriedly got up and went to deliver it.

Hyosung left the farmer's market and hurried to Malatang. Zhong Neng watched her disappear, and when he saw that his grandson could eat, sleep, and live with him in the future, his heart settled down as if something was a big deal.

When people are old, they don't have a doll by their side, and they always feel like they have to live for several years less. The sunset and twilight, if there is no rapidly changing gorgeous sunset as a foil, how cold and sad it should be!

At forty in the evening, the sleepy Yangyang began to make trouble again, shouting for his parents, but the old horse couldn't resist it, so he had to call someone to settle the matter.

"Hey, Ying'er! It doesn't matter if you're busy right now! The baby is making me so annoyed at this time! Good guys, it's going to be unmasked! You talk to her a few words to settle down and let her go to bed quickly! Lao Ma dialed Gui Ying's phone, and without waiting for her to speak, he made his purpose clear first.

Manager Ma, who was having a meeting with several colleagues in the office, heard this, and the irritability that he originally felt disturbed immediately disappeared, and he said softly: "You give her the phone." ”

"Give! Fuck you! Ask if your mom wants you! Lao Ma angrily handed the phone to Yangyang.

"Hey Mom-" Yang Yang shouted holding the phone, with tears in her eyes, and Gui Ying's eyes on the other end were also sour.

Manager Ma walked out of the office, holding a phone in one hand and a cup in the other, pretending to go out to fetch water. I left the office before I spoke.

"What's wrong, baby? Still not sleeping at nine o'clock? ”

"Mom, I miss you!" Rippling feet, wiping tears, lying on the bed and coquettish.

"Mom kissed you in the morning, why do you miss mom again! You're four years old, you're a big girl, and you're still crying! It's not okay if you're not good! ”

"I'm very well-behaved, and I ...... my homework I'm done writing it all! ”

"Wow! It's so great! Mom asked grandpa to buy you yo-yo candy tomorrow morning, okay! Whatever toy you want, mom buys you one and you can receive it tomorrow night! ”

"Okay, so when are you coming back?" As soon as this sentence came out, the mother and daughter across the screen burst into tears again.

"Come back now! Mom called you and drove back right away, crossing a cave, two big bends, three parks, and thirteen bridges! You obediently wait at home, count three hundred, let grandpa accompany you to count, and your mother will arrive home after you finish counting! Good no good? ”

"Okay...... What time will you be home? ”

Gui Ying couldn't cry or laugh, wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes, and replied, "Half past nine!" You see, it's nine o'clock, and in half an hour, my mother will be back! ”

"Mom, welcome... Also welcome... Why is Dad gone? ”

Gui Ying heard her daughter ask this, and sighed and felt sad. The old man sitting on the edge of Yangyang's bed was silent in an instant.

"Daddy isn't missing! Dad is busy, just like Mom, you want to think about Daddy, ask Grandpa to call Daddy for you, or use your watch to call Daddy, so you can talk to Daddy, and then you ask Daddy when he will come back, how about it? Gui Ying hid alone in the conference room, choking up.

"Okay...... When are you coming back, Mom? "The eyes of the lost people droop, and their brains are stuck in an endless loop.

"Let Grandpa tell you...... Speak...... Tell the story of "The Frog Prince" and "Ten Golden Roosters", and your mother will definitely come to your bedside when the story is finished. You give the phone to grandpa, and mom tells him where the storybook is, and then you can listen to the story, and mom arrives home when the story is over – okay? ”

"Good!" Yang Yang gave the phone to his grandfather.

Gui Ying then told the old man to go to Yangyang's bookshelf to find a storybook with a red cover. After the old horse found it, he hung the antelope and told five stories before he put a four-year-old boy to sleep. The three closest people are not around every night, the child has no sense of security, Lao Ma's patience comes and goes, and the time is short, and Yangyang's crying before going to bed has really become a problem.

Seeing that Yangyang was really asleep, Lao Ma covered her with a quilt, turned off the lights and went out. As soon as I went out, I felt a lot more relaxed, as if I felt a little more free. After watching TV outside for a while, I felt bored, and I was bored when I went to the balcony to listen to the play alone. Fortunately, the boy came back at ten o'clock, and after a busy bedtime preparation and lively chat, the two of them finally fell asleep.

At 11 o'clock in the evening, Manager Ma asked Chen to buy supper for her colleagues who were working overtime, and after eating supper with her colleagues, she hurriedly drafted several contracts. Wang Fuyi sent all the big customers, although with the Anke industry, but the enthusiasm to participate in the Anke exhibition is no less than the industry enterprises. Gui Ying finished the contract and sent it to the other party overnight.

Recently, the exhibition work has been going very smoothly, the company is united, and colleagues from various departments and exhibitions are working overtime to catch up with the work, almost can, no one slack. Other ordinary employees, even the number one of the exhibitions, Li Yubing and Sister Li, are also busy in their offices at the moment. Because of Sister Li's deterrence, the exhibition has undoubtedly become the only core of the company at present. It originally took seven to design and produce the forum background, but three actually came out; The number of customers originally invited by the overseas department was completed prematurely, and Sister Lan added an extra 10%; The logistics department has been understaffed recently, and Lao Luo temporarily planned to recruit three part-time jobs; Under the leadership of Sister Li, the editorial department not only completed the task quantitatively, but also published several long-form reports on the exhibition in mainstream newspapers...... Dozens of part-time employees crowded the company, which seemed to be noisy, but in fact, it was orderly in the chaos and everyone had a clear goal.