Cloudy July 22

When the second seven of my husband arrived, I decided to visit him in the underworld garden where the ashes were stored in Baoshan.

Under the guidance of the staff, I came to the orderly glass case, and I added green pine, flowers, ingots, etc. next to my husband's urn. The arrangements were in place and the staff left the quiet hall.

Thinking that the two of us will be separated from each other from now on, I can't help but cry out loud.

I kept calling out "Husband, can you hear me calling you?" Husband, are you okay over there?" Thinking that my husband likes to listen to my singing Yue Opera, I opened the national K song while crying, "Sister Lin fell from the sky...... A warm picture appeared in front of my eyes.

Mr. supervised the renovation team to close the balcony on Long Island, and sent photos of his cooked meals through WeChat every day before eating, "Wife, I'm going to eat", I said "My husband has worked hard", and Mr. asked me to sing a Yue Opera to reward him, so I recorded this song "Sister Lin fell from the sky". I learned the singing of Baoyu and Daiyu vividly, and my husband happily sent it to my friends to enjoy together.

Who would have thought that before the cozy nest could be enjoyed, Mr. was diagnosed with cancer......

I cried and opened another Yue opera "Ask Zijuan" that my husband liked very much, and remembered that at the class reunion he organized, the Yue opera I sang was appreciated by everyone, and my husband was very proud and smiled so brightly......

In the Changdao cheongsam catwalk I directed, my husband wore the clothes I ironed for him, and took photos and videos for the team members with his mobile phone......

The past is played back, and the voice and smile of the gentleman are still in front of him.

Mr. stroked my hand before he fell into a coma as if the residual warmth was still there, and the sound of "wife" was still lingering in my ears, he was so reluctant, with endless attachment and regret, his eyes never closed......

I cried and told my husband that the classmate who had promised to borrow money and disappeared had come to the memorial service, and that day, he was disheveled and delirious, and he did not dare to look at me directly in front of me, perhaps because of a disturbed conscience!

The behavior of my husband's ex-wife and son on the day of the memorial service made me realize the behavior of my husband that I did not understand. When the daughter heard that her uncle had asked her to write a promise to take care of him for the rest of her life, instead of blaming, she said understandingly, "Mom, my uncle has experienced previous family misfortunes, and because he is insecure, he will have such thoughts......"

Actually, I have forgiven my husband in my heart, but unfortunately he can no longer hear......

In the afternoon, I received a return call from the Heavy Ion Hospital, and the kind words made me cry. Hearing the news of Mr. passing, the other party muttered for a while, and then softly persuaded me to mourn and change.

Yes, my husband was discharged from the Heavy Ion Hospital last year, and he was no different from a healthy person, and no one could tell that he was a patient. Every once in a while, we will receive a return call, and the attending expert will affectionately call my husband "Lao Yang".

The gentleman is gone, but in the note on his mobile phone there is a diary of his treatment at the Heavy Ion Hospital:

Heavy ion irradiation records:

1. At 2:30 p.m. on May 9, I was irradiated for the first time, and I felt nothing at all, and I was a little nervous at first, and I took half an hour.

2. At 8:00 p.m. on May 10, the second time I was irradiated for half an hour, my mind was much more relaxed, and I still didn't feel anything. The irradiation doctor also praised me for my good breathing rhythm. For a few days, the liver seemed to feel a little more comfortable.

3. At 7:30 p.m. on May 13, half an hour of irradiation for the third time, today the doctor pulled my outer pants to my thighs, my waist circumference was smaller, the abdominal pressure was smaller, and it was much more comfortable. The doctor is off on Saturday and Sunday, and today he started irradiation again, and he will irradiate 5 times in a row this week, but I hope that his physical condition is getting better and better.

4. At 5:10 p.m. on May 14, the fourth irradiation was half an hour, I didn't eat dinner, and my outer pants were pulled off again, so today's breathing is the most relaxed, that is, after coming back to eat, that is, going out for a walk, people feel a little weak.

5, 5:40 p.m. on May 15, the fifth irradiation for half an hour, no dinner, breathing was very relaxed. The doctor said it was fine, just breathe like that. I went for a CT scan again this morning. It may be that the CT scan is irradiated, but it still feels weak.

6. At 4:35 p.m. on May 16, the sixth irradiation was half an hour, I didn't eat dinner, my breathing was very relaxed, I lay down on the physiotherapy table to adjust, and it was in place correctly, and the doctor even said "You are the first person".

7. At 7:15 p.m. on May 17, half an hour after the seventh irradiation, I went down at 6:30 and waited, saying that the machine was broken and was being repaired, so it was 45 minutes late. I didn't eat, my stomach was empty, and I finished it easily.

8, at 7:40 p.m. on May 20, the eighth irradiation was half an hour, and I had dinner photos today, which was a little tight. I asked the doctor today, just like what to do if I want to cough or sneeze, and the answer is to stay up, otherwise I will do it again; Two machines when to scan when breathing, the answer is yes, exhalation and inhalation when switching.

9. At 5:20 p.m. on May 21, the ninth irradiation was half an hour, and it was still in one step, and the doctor said that they were more efficient like me. Today, I stopped more when I was exhaling and let the irradiation be more.

10, May 22, at 7:35 p.m., the tenth irradiation for half an hour, after dinner today, just after walking, the mask stuck to the skin, and the breathing was tight, but it was still very smooth.

11, at 4:30 p.m. on May 23, the eleventh irradiation was half an hour, there was no sweat on the body, and the irradiation before meals was really good. In the past few days, I have constipation, my stomach is uncomfortable, and I asked the doctor to open the cork.

12, May 24 at 2:25 p.m., the twelfth irradiation for half an hour, woke up in the noon nap to take a photo, it's really good, the stool is also clear, my wife is also around, I am in good spirits, and it is very smooth to go up and be in place again.

13, at 1:45 p.m. on May 29, the thirteenth irradiation was half an hour, and it was also a wake-up call at noon to take a photo, my wife was by my side, very warm, once in place, very smooth.

14, May 30, at 11:45 p.m., the fourteenth irradiation for half an hour, this is the earliest time I was arranged, I didn't eat lunch, it was very relaxed and smooth. Tomorrow for the last time, remind the doctor to arrange an early photo in the morning. Victory is in sight.

15, at 10:10 a.m. on May 31, the fifteenth irradiation was half an hour, this time I was irradiated for the last time, and I was discharged from the hospital, I felt very relaxed, and it was in place again. However, when the machine was turning, I suddenly heard the sound of multiple people coming in, and then I asked, saying that a board had fallen off, and it was true, the machine broke down three times during my hospitalization. However, I finally ended up triumphantly and was discharged from the hospital today. My irradiation journal is also over.

…… Holding my husband's phone, I burst into tears. The unforgettable time in the Heavy Ion Hospital was warm and hopeful. After being discharged from the hospital, he was full of joy and energy. However, we did not dare to relax in the slightest, and Mr. never interrupted the TCM conditioning.

Since March this year, my husband's alpha-fetoprotein level has increased slightly, and it has become commonplace to go in and out of public hospitals, and formulaic treatment methods have become commonplace, and some doctors have even omitted the painful details of the treatment process, and only said "it is negligence......

Is it because it is expensive and you need to pay for it yourself, so you can have a people-friendly service? Or is it because of the difference in the system? Why is there no follow-up call after surgery in a public hospital? How many hearts in the holy white coat are truly thinking about the patient?

My husband is gone, but I am worried about those who are unfortunate enough to have cancer. The body is tormented by the sickness, and the indifference of some doctors pierces their hearts deeply......

In the eyes of some doctors, the death of a cancer patient is like a falling star, but in a family, it seems to have collapsed half of the sky.