Although Jiang Xian is not easy to get close to on the outside, he is extremely friendly and harmonious in his heart, otherwise the Guogong Mansion would not have jumped into the icy pond for a stranger in his life.

Jiang Xian is an idle person, he has no title, he does not hold military power, and he does not have an official position above the court. The more idleness there is, the easier it is to waste a person's mind, fortunately, Jiang Xian did not indulge himself, but was strict with himself, although he was not in the court, but he was a chivalrous person, or poetry and articles in the literary world, or in the rivers and lakes, all had a good relationship with him.

It's always good to have good karma, not to mention that they are all good karma, whether it is his high-ranking emperor brother or his own subordinates, they all have a leisure.

It's just that people can really take these carefree blandness into their arms so easily? I was in the Guogong Mansion, and he was still ostracized because of his mother and his own identity, but he was not recognized by the royal family as a prince, and he was raised in the palace all year round, I don't know whether I wanted to protect him from court disputes, or I wanted to imprison him for the rest of his life. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but a wise man must make a mistake in a thousand thoughts, I am not as good as a wise man, what I think may not be right, but it is always right to be mentally prepared.

But I never talk to Jiang Xian about these things, everyone has a scar in their heart that cannot be touched, since you don't know where the scar grows, don't test it at will. What we talk about on weekdays is nothing more than what good sentences we got on which day, and there are still flaws in the words, and we will scrutinize one or two together, or what books we read that day, what we don't understand, or what opinions are different from him, and after thinking about it for a long time, we will argue with him. I also intended to write a letter to my second sister, but I really didn't see anyone, Jiang Xian naturally wouldn't laugh at me, I just felt a little ashamed.

Jiang Xian has not been in the palace for a long time, he only comes back occasionally, most of them are outside, and I don't know what to do, I take the measure very well, don't let him feel too close, and I won't break off such a connection. I like Jiang Xian very much, this kind of liking is different from Yujing, I admire his talent but do not admire, appreciate his appearance and demeanor but do not be infatuated, and because of this, our relationship is frank and open, and Jiang Xian never rejects it.

My poetry and essays were almost only introduced under the guidance of Jiang Xian, and it was also because I was really bored in the palace, and there were no people and those cumbersome rules that bound me all day long, and I simply let my own thoughts and do something useful.

Poetry and essays are extremely difficult things, no wonder to get fame to say that it is a "ten years of cold window", I have only read it for a few years since I was a child, and I can't even talk about the surface in this vast sea of profound knowledge, and I think of the flattering words that others said to me in order to slap my father when I was a child, and it was a little funny.

The ancients said that if you read more than 10,000 volumes, the pen is like a god, and my thousands of books are not enough. Jiang Xian said that I was too impatient, I was enlightened late, and it was really not easy to put forward my own views on some issues, the article paid attention to structure and rhyme, the words were gorgeous and beautiful, and the words were neatly compared, and it was difficult to form without writing hundreds of articles.

Although I was frustrated, I was not discouraged, occasionally lying in bed and meditating, I only felt that the talent was springing, and writing it must be a good sentence that could impress Jiang Xian, but every time I fell asleep because of sleepiness, and the next day I had already forgotten it completely, not to mention those "eternal quatrains", and I couldn't even write a neat sentence.

Although I am clumsy, my brain is spinning very quickly, and I have some admitting reasons on certain issues, and it is inevitable that I will write down Jiang Xian's questions and debate with him in some political articles or philosophical essays. When he saw that some of my words were quite reasonable, he told me some things that he had encountered, and he had the intention of testing the students.

Jiang Xian said that there are two factions of controversy in the literary world recently, one group advocates innovation, abolishes the shackles of the original rhythm and syllables, advocates that words are born from will, and the old rules and regulations are not broken or established; The other school advocates conservatism, believing that only when the meaning of words is carved and carved can it have aesthetic value.

"What do you think about that?"

"When I write articles on weekdays, I also feel that this rhyme or something is too cumbersome, even if there are thousands of tastes on the pen, it is not as good as one, and then I am bound by these, but only a little bit of a star, where can there be the original meaning? However, every time I read an article that amazes me, I copy it out in neat sentences, which shows that these so-called rules and regulations are only for people who are not knowledgeable. Everything is inferior, only reading is high, natural articles and poetry have such a high status in the eyes of the world, naturally can not lower their own standards, there are no rules and no circle, if the poems do not have these rules, they will also lose their original color, and over time, they do not feel how high they are out of reach. ”

I said happily, and I said that I had encountered the scene in recent days, which could be regarded as a feeling, Jiang Xian saw that I was so interested, and he also smiled: "So you support the old school?" ”

"Definitely." I shook my hand: "There is spring and snow in the world, and there should also be lower riba people, they fight back and forth, it is nothing more than a debate between elegance and vulgarity, in fact, this can be two things, not something that is incompatible, each should have its own brilliance, each has its own audience, in my opinion, most of these advocates of innovation are a little lazy, and want to save trouble, and want to be recognized by orthodox literature." As everyone knows, since Qi Liang, the article has been getting worse and worse, in order to raise the threshold and achieve a glory that can remain in the annals of history for thousands of years. ”

"It's not that no one has raised what you said, it's just that now the dispute between the old and the new is incompatible, and the centrists can't stand up at all." Jiang Xian may have remembered what he had seen and heard a few days ago, and he had a headache.

"Let them fight, that is, now the country and the people are safe, and the people are rich enough to give them the opportunity to argue, if the war is raging, where to give them such leisure and elegance, just leave it to future generations to judge, our generation, there is no right to evaluate."

"You're transparent." Jiang Xian was relieved.

I looked at him, my originally flying mind instantly hit a basin of cold water, the smile on the corner of my mouth stagnated, I thought that my friendship with Jiang Xian had been very deep these days, but when I looked at his eyes, I was white, such eyes were no different from the loneliness that fished me out of the pond at the beginning, no one could enter his heart, no one could push open the closed and sealed door in his heart.

I don't like his look, as if he doesn't care about anything, doesn't like anything, as if he can end his life anytime and anywhere, and he doesn't have any nostalgia for this world.

Even if it's a little good, I hope he can live well and be able to appreciate some of the beauty of life, instead of being in an ice cellar like now, cold and not half angry.

"Ah Xian!" Jiang Xian was startled by my shout, raised his head to look at me, I looked at him, and said: "Summer is so hot, but the summer night is extremely cool, why don't we set up a banquet on this pavilion, play the Flying Flower Order, and the loser will be punished with a cup, and I will also be elegant." ”

The summer night was clear, and the coolness of the water dissipated the sultry heat of the day, and when I changed my clothes, Jiang Xian was already there, poured two glasses of wine, and handed one of them to me.

"I'm late, I'll punish myself with a drink."

Feihualing played for a while, most of them were lost by me, Jiang Xian deliberately let me a few times because I saw the dismal loss, and the wine I drank was not more than half of me, I was a little drunk, I laughed at his bad drinking power, he laughed, and he didn't explain.

Maybe we were all a little drunk that day, and when we finished drinking, we were a little fluttery. I pulled Jiang Xian to jump into the pond to sober up, but fortunately, Jiang Xian was still a little sensible, so he was able to persuade me.

I took off my shoes and socks, stepped on the water, and motioned for Jiang Xian to come down and tread the water, but he was unwilling, so I picked up a handful of wet his shoes before he was willing to sit with me on the edge of the pond.

"When I was a child, I liked to sit barefoot by the pond like this, and the maids around me always scared me when they were worried that I would fall into the water, saying that there were youkai in the water and would grab my feet and pull me closer to the pond, but later I learned that youkai do not live in the water, but live on the shore. I've been pretending to be crazy and stupid for so many years just to want to live well, but for so many years, I haven't known why I'm living, and then I'm white, if I don't have a good life, someone will be sad and sad, for these people, I must also take good care of myself. ”

Jiang Xian listened to my words, his eyes were full of twilight on the horizon, dark and gloomy, the wind from the pond blew the hair on his forehead, and the lamp by the pavilion traced his face, such a beautiful person, but his eyes showed a little bit of wounds, he said: "If I die, no one will be sad, and no one will remember." ”

I put my arm together and slapped him the back, and he looked at me in pain. "I know, you see, I always want to talk to you, I want to make you happy, I want you to have a good time, and I want you to live like a living person. You see, compared to me, you are at least free, and you can act on many things when you make a decision, but it depends on whether you want it or not, and I have no right to choose as a daughter. ”

As I spoke, I stood up, my wet feet did not feel cold at all when I stepped on the stones with residual warmth, and I ran all the way, not knowing the purpose or the intention, but the wind in my ears and the road under my feet were so smooth that I was happy.

I heard that I was sent back by Jiang Xian, I dug out the bird's nest one night, and went to the rockery to knock a few stones back, and last night I didn't know what to do with wicker was still on the table, I knew that I was ashamed, and I didn't dare to see Jiang Xian for several days.

But I think my efforts are still effective, at least Jiang Xian loves to laugh more than before.

The autumn color is approaching, the lotus in the pond is defeated, someone is holding the boat to pull out the dead lotus leaves in the pond, but I am afraid of hurting the rhizome, only to say, "Leave the dry lotus to listen to the sound of the rain, such a good artistic conception, but it is not interesting to pull it out." Jiang Xian may feel that there is some truth, so he also asked someone to keep it.

In the autumn, the autumn is crisp, the fallen leaves are flying, the reeds by the pond bloom early, and the snow is white, I plucked a lot, and by the way, I gave some to Jiang Xian to put in the dormitory.

"Ah Xian, look!" I ran over with a handful of reed flowers, but I didn't hear a response, so I stuck my head out, but saw Jiang Yao sitting on the stone bench, and Jiang Xian who looked panicked on the side.

The reeds in my hand were scattered, but I panicked for no reason, I wanted to explain, I wanted to justify, I wanted to tell him that I didn't do anything to hurt my face with Jiang Xian, but I also knew that I had no way to defend myself at this moment, just Jiang Xian......

Since Jiang Yao saw me, he didn't say a word, and he didn't have any expressions that could make us guess, I went back to my palace all the way back to my palace with anxiety, and tears fell silently. I shouldn't be so careless, I shouldn't be so careless about my identity, I don't matter what, how can Jiang Xian be misunderstood by Jiang Yao? He is not taken seriously in the first place, if he bears the stigma and destroys his innocence, it will not be my sin!

I let out a long sigh, but I couldn't let go of the worries that had been in my heart anyway.

Changyun packed up his things that day, saying that the emperor saw that I looked good, maybe the cold was almost better, and I could go back to the palace.

I know that Jiang Yao is unhappy. I have to find a chance to explain to him, maybe he doesn't care about me, but Jiang Xian is his younger brother after all, so he shouldn't be suspicious of me. I originally wanted to see Jiang Xian before leaving, but seeing him again at this time was only afraid that Jiang Yao's heart would be deeper, so I had to give up.

On the way back to the palace, the wheels crushed my anxiety all the way, but all the way to the palace, I returned to my palace room, and I still didn't hear Jiang Yao say a word.

The more he didn't say anything, the more panicked I became, Su Kou came, talked to me for a while, and finally said before leaving: "Ah Xuan, in fact, the emperor cares about you very much, don't always break his heart." "I was thinking about other things, and I was just thinking about how to deal with this matter at the moment.

I didn't have time to think about it, Jiang Yao came, and he didn't say a word, just reviewed and read in the study as usual, and I didn't have to bother, but it made him unhappy.

In the blink of an eye, the palaces received rewards and came to thank me, I didn't have any energy, let people sit and disperse, it was snowing that day, I saw that the snow was getting bigger and bigger, everything was quiet, and I was about to go to bed earlier, but the people around Jiang Yao came.

I sat in a sedan chair, carrying my thoughts along the way, and I didn't feel cold, the charcoal fire in the inner hall was very sufficient, Changyun helped me take off my cloak and retreated, and there was no one else in the inner hall except Jiang Yao, who was sitting in front of the bookcase. I saluted, and he motioned for me to sit down.

There is a glass of wine in front of me, there is nothing in front of Jiang Yao, obviously this glass of wine is given to me, I am not worried that if this glass continues, I may never be able to open my eyes again, I just think about how to find an opportunity to dispel some unnecessary misunderstandings.

"Rong Xuan, do you remember what I asked you in the hall that day?"

I didn't know what Jiang Yao was talking about, so I shook my head and said, "The concubine doesn't know what the emperor said. ”

Jiang Yao stretched out his hand and lifted my chin, his eyes were sharp and hateful: "Do you have a heart?" ”

I didn't know what kind of answer I would give to satisfy him, so I simply closed my mouth and lowered my eyes. He continued to ask, "Are you talking to Jiang Xian so indifferently and resistant?" ”

When I heard this, I met his gaze and said, "The concubine and Jiang Xian are just friends, and they occasionally chat a little, and nothing else." ”

"You don't have to be in such a hurry to defend yourself, I just want you to say a few words from the truth." Jiang Yao's fingers rubbed my chin. I resisted, and obeyed as always: "What does the emperor want to hear?" ”

"Do you hate me?"

"The concubine doesn't dare."

"I don't want you to be a concubine, just answer me, do you hate me? I ordered you to enter the palace but snubbed you, I wanted to kill Yujing, I wanted to kill Jiang Xian, and I didn't even want to let go of your Rong clan, I only treat you as a hostage, you can be discarded at any time, do you hate me? ”

"I don't hate." I answered truthfully, but Jiang Yao laughed sadly: "Why don't you hate me?" You should see me as an enemy, you shouldn't save me, you should find a chance to fly away in the palace, you should even find a chance to kill me. ”

"The concubine is the queen, is the mother of a country, the person who will be buried in the Huangling with the emperor in the future, naturally knows what it means to bear on his body, the emperor does not have to test the concubine again and again, if there is doubt, you can give death, the concubine has promised the emperor to go to the soup for the emperor to go to the fire, although the emperor does not need a weak woman to share your worries, but the heart of death is still there, if the death of the concubine can make you relax, the concubine does not feel that there is anything wrong." With that, I picked up the wine glass in front of me and drank it down.

Jiang Yao looked at me, his eyes deepened again, and he said, "Rong Xuan, why don't you love me?" ”

I felt as if I had misheard, and looked at the stunned emperor in front of me blankly, his eyes were lowered, and he was not as sharp as before, and he was very good-looking: "The concubine doesn't dare." ”

"You even took my heart, what don't you dare, you just don't want to."

As he spoke, he poured himself a glass of wine, and the scar on his right hand was exposed, inadvertently touching my heart with the flickering candle flame.

I slept in Jiang Yao's inner sanctum, but the scar was always circling in my mind, it seemed to remind of something, but I couldn't remember it. That night I had a dream about a fire, and I dreamed that someone reached out and pulled me out of the flames, and the fire burned his arm, and he didn't let go of his hand that was protecting me, and he said, "What are you doing to save me?" Someone wants me to die, and I don't need you to accompany me. ”

In the firelight in the sky, I could see his eyebrows clearly, his look and his handsome eyebrows, all too familiar.

I woke up suddenly, but it was dark at night, and when I turned over, I found that there was a person lying next to me, naturally it was Jiang Yao, I reached out and probed, holding his hand, trying to find the scar, Jiang Yao didn't know if he hadn't slept yet, or was woken up by me, and he didn't let go of the hand holding me.

That was the longest insomnia I've had, watching the light from the sky through the bed curtain make Jiang Yao's Lian slowly clear through the night, I have never looked at him so seriously, without any scruples, without any defense.

There was a child who had just lost his father, and instead of being thrown into the pond by those who hated him, he was thrown into the fire, and the person who went to save him that time was none other than me, and he said, "If I can survive this fire, you can marry me, and you will not be afraid anymore." ”

He was the first to see through my fears and pretenses, and the first to stand up for me, and I remember holding his hand and saying, "Good." ”

Why don't I remember? I can't remember why I forgot, I just remember that I wasn't happy at all when I married him, and I was happy with my wishes, and I was left with the loneliness of a person.

I am the one who is the one who has fallen in love with Yujing and hurt him once, twice, and every time!