Recently, I have been sorting out some of the writings left by my mother. It's been two years, and I still don't dare to touch it, because every handwriting touches my heart. I used to be a carefree little princess who was held in the palm of my parents' hands, and I never thought that the plot in the movie would happen in my life. At the age of 25, I have just worked for a year, and I have not been able to take care of a family, but the family has suddenly changed.

Overnight, I went from a good girl who didn't know anything to the pillar of the family, not daring to be sad, just hoping to find a job as soon as possible to make money and make money. After all, my younger brother was only in high school at that time, and although my mother was a teacher, she became a full-time housewife after years of exile. Later, I was busy outside, and my mother was heartbroken for our children. It wasn't until she got sick that I realized that my mother was in her 60s and was about to be 70. But in front of her, I was still the girl who hadn't grown up. I once persuaded my mother to find a wife, but my mother never agreed. I always thought it was because my brother was still studying, and I was afraid that it would affect his mood. In this way, my mother lived alone for more than ten years. She left us two years ago because of cancer. That year, she desperately wrote something, and it was not until the end that she realized that it was a manuscript of her mother's own poetry collection and an animal novel. The protagonist of the novel is my cat. Speaking of which, we are all unqualified children, and we don't spend as much time with our mother as a cat adopted halfway.

Enlightening the Soul

I have asked the heavens countless times

may make my mind,

Feel its favor?

Let my heart not be cold,

Feel the heat of the sun

On a snowy day

My steps faltered,

It was as if it had been frozen in ice and snow

Like an old man at dusk

Frozen with the body,

And this sluggish mind

My soul my love,

Because the dust is lifeless

Because the dust is less family

Although I keep moving forward

But he still faltered

On the way to hope

My heart, my skin

Burned by floating love

It tickled my chest

A broken heart has nowhere to store

I had to take them

Entrust to the summer sunset

There is no dream

Spend all day in a broken life

Xiang and Dilian broke off the lotus root

There is only a canopy of withered grass

Struggling in the night wind

In the dark moonlight

Listen to the chirping of summer cicadas

Got it, got it

I'm still on my way

I still have dreams in my heart.

"Old Lady's Poems", August 5, 2015

This is one of the poems in my mother's collection, and there are many contents that really express my deep love and longing for my father.

Once incomprehensible, now it is white. It turns out that the love of my parents is so long and simple.

I still remember my mother telling me the story of her and my father, an ordinary and simple love story. Mother is a native of Harbin, at that time there were many children in the family, she was the eldest of the girls, the fourth among all the children, because of the shortage of rations, born to the aunt to upbring, people born in the 50s have experienced a lot, the catastrophe and famine, just when the country carried out the construction of the countryside, the mother would have just graduated from high school, and the grandmother wanted to let the old son stay in the city, but the mother had to go back, in fact, it was to move the household registration from the aunt's house back to his own home. Then let his mother go to the countryside instead of his third uncle.

This time, I didn't expect that it would be a lifetime, my mother, as a young intellectual, has a high level of Chinese, and relied on her outstanding talent when she was studying, and soon became famous in the Jiusan Agricultural Reclamation Bureau. is famous not only for her talent, but also for her character who dares to speak and do, and is not afraid of heaven and earth. It is said that at that time, whenever there was something to entertain the leader, she must have been called, because she was not drunk in a thousand cups. And a good word, a good article. In the desolate Great Northern Wilderness, she worked from the company's propaganda department to the propaganda department of the factory department. When a woman is famous, there are always people who are concerned, at that time, it was said that a certain leader took a fancy to her and wanted her to be a daughter-in-law, but that son, that is, a gentleman who is not doing his job properly, is as delicate as a mother, how can he be willing? For this matter, my mother lost her qualification for the college entrance examination, and for this matter, her name has not been on the list of returning to the city.

Later, an enthusiastic Aunt Zhao gave her mother a doctrine, that is, to find someone to marry as soon as possible, and her mother did not want to marry at first. But after a visit to the city, she changed her mind. agreed with Aunt Zhao's suggestion, for the candidate, she asked, character first, and appearance should not be too ugly. I once asked about the specific reason, and my mother reluctantly told me about it. It would feel like it's hard to write a story like this even if you're really writing a novel.

It turned out that when my mother was in school in Harbin City, when she was in the student union, there was a male classmate who was a childhood sweetheart. At that time, I didn't want to call my boyfriend. It's just that they have a good impression of each other, and it is said that they are still the president of the student union, one of them is the president of the student union, and the other is the head of the propaganda department, studying together and cooperating with the work of the student union. Three years of high school, a deep friendship was formed. Originally, when I went back to the city, my mother wanted to have a showdown with the other party, and told him about the current situation to see what to do later. But at that reunion back to the city, everyone was drunk. The president of the student council got into the bed of their class flowers. Isn't it a bloody plot. It is said that he later came to his mother to explain that there was something wrong with the wine that someone gave him, or something. In short, the mother had no idea of returning to the city at all, after all, the daughter who was thrown out since she was a child, the affection between brothers and sisters was also weak, and there was no hope. Now the illusion of love is also shattered, and there was a moment when my mother thought about suicide. But reason told her it wasn't worth it. So she agreed to Aunt Zhao's arrangement. At that time, Aunt Zhao said that there was a young man who was good, but he was a little darker and not tall. However, the spirit of the person is also down-to-earth, but the ingredients are not very good.

This young man, who is a little dark and not tall, but very energetic and down-to-earth, is my father. His father has 8 brothers and sisters, he is the oldest son, and the fifth oldest among the boys.

I still remember that my grandmother said that in fact, along the way, that is, in the Great Northern Wilderness, this family of ten can barely eat a full stomach. My father worked to support the family when he was in junior high school, and at that time, his elder brothers had become independent and disconnected from the family, and his two elder sisters also married into their husband's family, taking care of their own lives and not taking care of the family. There is also a little sister who is still in school, and her father has naturally become the only support of her grandparents. At that time, my father drove a farm machine, and it was great to drive a farm farm truck on the farm, but because of the family composition, he didn't marry a daughter-in-law in his twenties, and the family was always in a hurry. My father doesn't talk much, but he has good skills, and in addition to driving, he can also repair. can also do electrician and carpentry work, and often help Aunt Zhao with some help. No, Aunt Zhao wanted to find a good daughter-in-law for the old son of the Zhang family. This story is a bit long, so allow me to break it up in two, because I can't get out of my memories at the moment. We continue in the next chapter. If anyone sees me and votes for my story, encourage me.