The "centennial celebration" is of great significance to a school, and it is naturally very grand, and many powerful people from G have gone out in all walks of life, although it is not as great as the university's driving force for the achievements of the characters, but the alma mater is brilliant, and in general can still feel the honor and have contributed.

Some entrepreneurs give their alma mater a big gift of money to build a new teaching building;

Some donate new computers;

Some have set up foundations to reward students who have won glory for the school.

These had nothing to do with Hua Lonely, but an entrepreneur proposed to customize school celebration clothes for all teachers and students to express his heart, and the news was uncertain, and the rumor turned into no entrepreneur donation, and the school asked students to voluntarily buy it.

But whenever you hear that you have to pay money, Hua Lin will be distressed, when it comes to money, it is difficult to talk about it, and it is easy to provoke Hua Lone's father again because of some trivial things, and it is easy to eat the loss of skin and flesh if you are not careful.

Hua Lin went home at noon to talk about this matter, and discussed with her mother how to deal with this voluntary purchase of school uniforms at that time.

It stands to reason that if the school directly asks for a unified purchase, and the heart is reluctant to cut the flesh and pay some money, this matter will be turned over.

The sin is "voluntary", giving people an excuse that they may be able to "not buy", and then paying for it becomes unwilling.

Mom didn't want to buy it, Hua Lin was anxious, and hurriedly spoke: "Say it's voluntary, who really doesn't wear it at the school celebration, isn't that a special smear to the school?" ”

At that time, when he was eating, Father Hua Lin snorted coldly and reprimanded:

"What's so special? Don't you look at what kind of family you are, can you be the same as others? What does the school celebration have to do with you, does the honor roll have your name? Is it for people like you? If you read a good book, even if you don't make a special difference, you won't discredit the school. ”

Hua Lin opened her mouth, wanting to justify her father's secret change of concept, which were clearly two things, but the serious gaze on the top suddenly fell.

The more my mother listened, the more upset she became, and she only complained that this school was so good that it was a school celebration, why did she ask students to buy clothes at their own expense.

Hua Lone's appetite is gone, she doesn't know if there will be anyone in the class who chooses not to buy it, thinking about it, maybe Zhang Wenli won't? I am also worried about what will happen to Zhang Wenli, a poor student, if she has "privileges".

When the stream of consciousness drifted far away, he suddenly heard the sound of his father knocking on the dining table, which scared Hua Lone's soul away, and when the soul reacted and returned to Hua Lone, it turned out that Dad watched Hua Lone eat a few grains of rice and eat them like this, so he got angry and crackled and said:

"Don't put a stinky face on me, I'm unlucky, you can cherish your food, don't even think about eating and wearing. A girl, even if she reads poorly, at least she must learn to do a good job, her thinking has gone astray, don't be shameless in the future, and do something that sells her soul and personality..."

Hua Lin lowered her head and frowned, letting this word drill into her ears one by one.

Hua Lone's father had a loud voice, and her mother was uncomfortable listening to it, so she raised her voice and pushed it back, "Why are you talking such stupid things?" ”

"What stupid thing am I talking about? You can see when the time comes, a person like her who has no future, don't say that I didn't teach it well. ”

As he spoke, the two of them quarreled.

"Don't keep talking about unproductive things."

"You think I'm cursing her for nothing? I don't want her to be a good person? I used to hold it in the palm of my hand when I was a child and said that she was a phoenix flying out of the chicken nest, but now what the hell do you think she is for? What is the ranking in the class? Countdown, right? I tell you, I will raise you until you are 18 years old, I am the most benevolent and righteous, out of this house, my only request is not to be pointed at the backbone and said to sell. ”

"Shut up!"

"What do I shut up. You wait and see your daughter, you wait and see. ”

…

Like hiding from the plague, Hua Lin immediately ran into his room as soon as he pulled the meal, closed the door, and blocked the inexplicable accusations from the door.

I can't tell at all, when did it start, and the communication with my parents, especially with my father, is particularly easy to go off-topic, no matter what the cause is, it will be pulled back and forth to the embarrassing words of going out to "sell" after the flower is gone.

Some language, some truth, Hua Lin has never felt unreasonable, for example, if a person has bad grades and does not read well, it is true that he can be a person; She knows that her parents raised her at the age of 18, and it is true that she will have to walk on her own path as an adult;

But why, with Dad's weird sarcasm, is it so unacceptable?

In particular, she has heard it countless times, and her father doesn't understand what her father is referring to when he says "sell his soul and sell his body", but why does she understand this?

When Hua Lone's father did it, he hit her in the face, and he wanted to be disfigured, and he wanted to explain while beating, "I just want you not to be embarrassed and conspicuous in the future to sell people for money." ”

Hua Lin didn't know if he had any misunderstanding in his father's eyes.

This is where the aunt has always hated her father the most, with a strong sense of sexism and no kindness to her daughter.

Even my aunt has always felt that Hua Lone's father is psychologically dark and sick, if one day Hua Lin is really brainwashed by her to think that he has only one way out, he will not blame himself for his lack of discipline, but will have an expression of "I know she is such a person".

The teenage Hua Lin didn't do anything, maybe it was just because she didn't study well, and her backbone had already been stamped by her biological father and concluded that she would become a "broken flower and a willow" in the future.

Outside the room, Hua Lone's mother was still arguing with her father, and it had become Hua Lone's mother accusing her father of being the most unproductive, and the two loud people didn't let it at all, and from time to time there was the sound of picking up the dishes and chopsticks, and it was her mother who sprinkled her anger on the dishes and chopsticks.

It's just a mere amount of money for a school uniform, which can evolve to this extent, Hua Lin hates her father very much, hates his curse on herself, and hates the negative energy he spreads to this family.

Hua Lin believes that it has never been a poor couple who mourns everything, and a poor and lowly stinky couple will mourn everything, and the family is not harmonious, how can it be prosperous?

Just when Hua Lin was taking care of herself and feeling resentful, Hua Lian's mother outside hit his father's scales with her words.

"If you have a chance, why does your wife have to go outside to sweep the road? My sister feels sorry for me, you didn't react at all, no wonder no one in my mother's family can afford you. Don't you look at what good life our mother and daughter have had with you? I'm blind, I'm married to someone like you..."

Hua Lonely, who was in the room, immediately reacted, her mother said something she shouldn't have said, and her father had never beaten her mother, but her anger would come to herself.

Sure enough, the door in the room was pushed open, and Hua Lone's father rushed in, and when he saw that Hua Lin didn't know what to do inside, as if he was caught upright, a slap came over, scolding, and saying that Hua Lin was not reading.

Hua Lone's mother was going to be beaten again in the living room, knowing that this was him beating Hua Lin to show his face, if she persuaded her, Hua Lin would be beaten harder, so she simply hardened her heart and went out directly.

Poor Hua Lin has suffered another unwarranted disaster.

The hands on the clock have exceeded 2 o'clock, and the people who did it have already left, and they went out to continue to get out of the car.

Hua Lone, with a blue nose and swollen face, sat motionless against the wall, and the house was quiet.

Don't look at Hua Lonely, when she gets along with her classmates and friends, it is normal, positive, talking and laughing, and the sun is shining;

In fact, in another part of her personality, there is also a gloom of cynical self-pity.

Mom left the house, didn't care about her being beaten, she wasn't angry.

Dad beat her, she was not angry, she was used to it.

She was just angry that she was going to live.

Once she also thought about the philosophical questions that Su Ya said, "Who am I?" "Where am I from?" "Where am I going?"

She thought more, why is she her? Why did she open her eyes and not someone else?

Regarding the trial of coming to this world, why did she use the identity of "Hua Lone"?

Is it to suffer both mental and physical torture?

Tired, she wanted to end it all.

Hua Lin got up and went to the balcony, there was an anti-theft window, and there was no chance to jump off the building.

So she took a towel, sat down, wrapped the towel around her neck expressionlessly, took the ends of the towel with both hands, and was ready to work, just waiting for her hands to pull it.

Goodbye, Mom.

At this moment, the tears that had been dry suddenly gushed out again.

Hua Lin began to exert force, but the body's instinctive mechanism was always unable to execute in place.

I tried several times, but failed, and there was no progress other than strangling myself to cough violently.

Hua Lin wanted to go to her mother, who had stolen a lot of medicine bottles from her home when she used to work in a pharmaceutical factory, and she went to rummage through them.

In the drawer in the cabinet in my mother's room, bottles and cans were all used for vitamin C, B1, B2 and other health care drugs.

In the way in the TV series, Hua Lin is afraid of pain and doesn't dare.

Finally, the focus was on the liquefied gas cylinders in the kitchen.

She went into the kitchen, closed the door, and unscrewed the gas canister.

While waiting, she noticed that there was a crack in the kitchen door, so she gathered the rag and blocked the crack little by little.

I don't know if it was because she was operating it improperly or what, but I didn't smell the smell of liquefied gas.

She wanted to just lie down and sleep by herself, maybe that would be painless.

I closed my eyes and turned over and over, and I didn't feel sleepy.

Ordinary time is as fast as flowing water, but when a person wants to die, minutes and seconds are so long.

Hua Lin got up, did you want a whole suicide note?

Tell me the whole story?

She opened the kitchen door as fast as she could, ran back to her room and got a pen and paper.

He closed the door again, and the rag plugged the crack in the door.

When I was ready, I was about to write, and I thought about it, if I really passed away, would it become the headline in the newspaper, and would the reporter give me a little face? If this suicide note is exposed together and known by the people in your own life, will it be too embarrassing?

Not afraid of death? Still afraid of the reputation behind you?

Hua Lin felt that this was not a contradiction, she just wanted to be quietly free.

However, it may be that from the time when she was busy blocking the door and doing a series of things, her attention was diverted, and her heart was not so strong when she was beaten and begged for death.

At this time, there was a sound of unlocking the door of the house, and Hua Lonely jumped up from the ground in a panic and rolled up the paper with the words "suicide note" written on it.

Mom turned back, and soon found that the kitchen door was closed tightly, and when she pushed the door open, she saw an embarrassed person, her face was blue and red, and her single eyelid was swollen and messy like a walnut.

Her mother realized something, and the smell was not too obvious, and Hua Lin just twisted the jar and did not continue to unscrew the gas stove, so the gas leak did not go well.

Mom still went to open the window for ventilation as soon as possible.

Pull out the flower silence again.

Hua Lin also has bruises on her arms.

Mom knowingly asked, "What are you doing here?" ”

As soon as she opened her mouth, her eyes turned completely red.

And Hua Lone's calmed grievances were mobilized again, full of sadness, and his nose was sour.

Mother and daughter, each weeping.

Only the hands on the clock, ticking.