Today the weather finally turned colder, I need to turn on the air conditioner at night, I feel a little cold when riding a battery bike in the morning, and I have started to wear long-sleeved shirts. Today, as usual, I brought egg scones to AH, but there were no carrots in the dishes fried by the boss today, and AH eats carrots every time for breakfast, and I usually use carrots as the main dishes, since I learned that she doesn't like to eat shredded potatoes. I added some more side dishes, I was afraid that AH would not be used to eating, I thought that this might be one of the few opportunities for me to bring breakfast to AH, by the way, I still brought AH two cups of porridge today, because she said before that one cup of porridge does not seem to be enough to drink. AH's little messenger went online quite late this morning, I don't know if she can get used to eating breakfast, and does she still need to bring breakfast on the weekend? Or do you just bring one? Just messaged her. But after a long time, there was no reply. It wasn't until almost 11 o'clock that AH replied to me, and the reply may be more urgent, and the words are all wrong. It meant that Saturdays and Sundays would still come to read books and need to bring breakfast, but she didn't tell me if it was one or two. And then he never replied to me.

Actually, I thought that after the AH exam, she might really no longer need me and need me to bring her breakfast, I thought that tomorrow was the deadline, and maybe she would ignore me in the future. But she didn't tell me that, just that breakfast was needed for two days of the weekend. I think that every day when I need to bring breakfast, I will take it as one last chance to give her AH's favorite breakfast, and that's all I can probably do. It's been more than a month since the time passed, and I've insisted on going to work without rest on weekends for a month, and "Early Sleep Diary" has updated the twenty-ninth chapter today, including a total of 30 chapters of the preface, and it's been a full month, and time does pass quickly, I mean that life is on the right track and begins to go to bed early and get up early, these subtle and unknown changes are brought to me by AH, including my abstinence for more than a month, it is also very effective, and my self-control is really unprecedentedly strong. It's not that I don't have desires, I still think of those precious memories and feelings, but I know how to restrain them, and that's a kind of growth. When a person can control his desires freely, his life can be as simple as a cold glass, ready to take a sip, lackluster but enough to calm himself as before.

I feel like AH has changed me much more than that, and I can finally learn to let go of someone I like. She said that time and new love are the best medicine to forget. I haven't had a new love, so I can only leave it to time, and it seems to have really worked. AH is really a special existence in my heart, it is unique, it is a girl who I can't easily let go of and let go, but is there any better choice if I don't let go? Some things can be made simple willingly when you think them through. I feel like I've hurt someone I want to like and take care of, and I've put a lot of pressure on her, which I learned every day when I miss AH and slowly learn to let go of her. For AH, in addition to liking, there are too many intricate feelings, gratitude and reward, as well as shame and regret. I know that I have long lost the opportunity to like her, and from the moment she decided to delete my WeChat completely, I was destined to have no chance, or I have been waiting for some change or ending in self-deception. It's just that AH is a girl who is too kind, I understand her sensitivity and vulnerability, if I really have the opportunity, I will definitely want to give her the best care, take care of her, and be as perfect and happy as other girls. But I know very well that I don't have the ability, I don't talk about it, I can't give her the security she needs. I recognize my current situation and stop being self-righteous.

To be honest, I have never met a girl like AH before, and she has given me a lot of first-time touches, so I can let go of my liking for AN, and now I am more grateful and make up for it or save it. I hope that in the limited time and limited opportunities, I can do something that is good for AH. I really don't like or love someone, maybe I've been single for too long, lonely for too long, and I want to catch the light that suddenly appears in my life, and AH is my light has also appeared, but I'm too hard, but it's easier to lose, short-lived but enough to be unforgettable. In the future, there may really be no girl like AH to treat me again, and it's a little desperate to think about it. Have I really let go of myself, let go of AH, I often reflect on myself, it is true that I haven't yet, at least not yet. But I believe that as time passes, the memory will eventually blur, and when I let go of myself, I will definitely let go of AH. To like someone is to like everything about her, whether she is good or not, her past and future, her soul and body, her hair, the temperature of her palms, her voice, her crying, her laughter, everything she has. It is true that starting to like someone can become selfish and narrow-minded, and become unreasonable; Gradually, I understand that liking someone will make me humble and become not myself, and many habits and details will be quietly changed. Later, I finally understood that if you like someone, you will only want her to be good, no matter where she is or not by your side, will there be any results, and what will happen to you seems to be understandable, you will only hope that she is good, everything is fine, and she is happier than before!

I think the emergence of AH has brought me changes not only in going to bed early and getting up early and in the persistence of "Early Bedtime Diary", but also in many minor changes, and more importantly, how to teach how to like a person and in what way. Although she told me a lot of techniques and principles for chasing girls, I didn't seem to put them into practice, not even herself. I think everyone has their own way of thinking the right way, and they can always find a compromise that balances the most suitable method for themselves. Maybe I'll still be single in the future, as used to being quiet and cold as before, preferring solitude and silence, but at least I've experienced some changes, which are enough to make me feel no regrets, and I find myself more and more content, which is a good thing. I will only be doubly good to the person I am good to, how can I blame her or hate her? Just because I like her, I have always kept our agreement and stopped pestering and bothering her, and I have done all this for a long, long time.

Perhaps, to like someone is to let go of her, to be grateful, and to bless her all the time. This is not a simple liking, I think it is a kind of mutual recognition and cherishment, after all, such an opportunity is rare, maybe this is a kind of uncomplaining, selfless and pure love. I am a whole person, I also have the urge to like someone, my heart is not dead. When I learned that I would love others, but I was not able to do it, and I was not loved by others, I was grateful and remembered it! Suddenly my mood is much clearer, can I really get out of my abyss completely, and no longer be cocooned?

Yes, I have finally learned to try to let go of myself, let go of the past and the darkness, and love someone worthy of love while there is still time to be myself! Good night!