"We don't rush you now, we don't put pressure on you anymore, you're under a lot of pressure now." "Why did you lose your hair at some point, just like the people in your uncle's farm."

This is what my mother and dad said to me when I went home from the video today, and I was even ashamed. They're going to remember my life's events now. The one in the village got married right away and had children, only a year older than you. By the way, your cousin has been talking to each other for a few years, and in the end it didn't work, and your aunt died in a hurry, and she called last night to complain for a long time. This is all what my mother told me, and your distant uncle wants to find you a daughter-in-law in Lanzhou and let you bring it over. My family, relatives and friends are all anxious about my life's events, why don't I feel it at all, is it numb, or I am giving up on myself.

They may be really afraid of putting pressure on me, but I haven't put in any effort and try, I've been denying and avoiding. At this moment I feel very guilty in my heart, I feel that I am worthless, I am living too selfishly. Do I really need to change, I don't know if it's too late. I always think that I will never meet the right person in this life, I am a negative and pessimistic person, and it is a big deal to be single for a lifetime. Although I have tried, I have gained nothing, and I will only make myself more unconfident. I don't dare to try and look forward to it. Do I still have a chance, do I still have a chance to meet someone I like, or be liked by others? Actually, I've never been too demanding, maybe I'm too autistic to be good at expressing myself.

The second sister hasn't been in touch with me for a long time, I received WeChat early this morning, saying that I sent a rice cooker to my home, I can't use it, I moved and changed jobs, and finally I comforted her to adapt to it first, don't be too picky, and slowly work to support yourself and then seek development, I guess she didn't listen, only sent a word, and the chat stopped abruptly. My mother said that if she really couldn't get by, she began to support the second sister's divorce, Xiao is indeed not worth making do with, the failure of the second sister's marriage is the path she chose, but she has suffered from the two children, if you divorce, it is estimated that one person will bring one, this is a later story, I don't know if there is still the possibility of a broken mirror reunion. Mom also said that although the eldest brother-in-law is ugly, but he has never been ambiguous in major matters, and he has recently taken the driver's license test, but the person is too bad for the eldest sister to control, so the eldest sister's marriage is not happy, and slowly there are signs of easing, he began to wake up and become better, I hope the eldest sister can slowly find the happiness in her marriage.

I haven't cooked much this week, I went to Hongye Village to eat Malatang last night, and I drank a bowl of beef soup and refrigerator when I passed by after work tonight; I guess the dishes I bought are almost broken, but I'm too lazy to do it, I don't think it's necessary, I may really be troublesome, and I don't have that leisure. I went home last night, too, and I packed up, and I kept playing LOL Smash Bros. until almost twelve o'clock, and I didn't rest until almost twelve o'clock, and I lay down and played with my mobile phone for a while, and I almost lost my sleep because of insomnia, and I fell asleep unconsciously. I woke up in the morning with an uncomfortable stomach, squatted in the toilet and was delayed for nearly ten minutes, and when I arrived at the company, I was almost late. I haven't taken the initiative to contact N in the past two days, and from the moment I promised to treat her as a brother and nip in the bud the idea that I shouldn't have, I've tried to keep my distance.

Unfortunately, when I parked the car in the morning and walked briskly to the workshop, I met N, who worked in the morning, and she went to the oil workshop, at the same time as me. I stayed up late because I was not in good spirits, my hair was messy for two days without washing, and I was very strange when I saw N panic and inferiority, and when I met someone I wanted to like or always liked, I would always feel inferior from the bottom of my heart. She said that breakfast and yogurt, didn't have time to heat up, I carried two buns, casually greeted a few words, I excused myself to be late and trotted up, in fact, there was time, I should explain to her or accompany her to the oil I was leaving, but I didn't. I saw that she didn't look good, maybe the reason for wearing work clothes was that her eyes were a little puffy, and I guess she didn't rest last night.

After going to the workshop to change clothes, I decided to take the initiative to send her a message again, to care about it, and to explain the recklessness just now. I said that your stomach is not good when it is cold, try not to mix it with cold things, yogurt can be soaked in hot water, and then drink it when it is hot. I see your eyes are a little swollen, you haven't slept well. After a few minutes, N replied to me that her roommate AH was making trouble again last night and had been on the phone, so it had disturbed her. He's good for a while. I said, love is really a strange existence, just like N told me before, her male ticket is also often messed with flowers and grass and ex-girlfriend lotus roots, after making her angry, always take the initiative to admit mistakes, very pious kind, she is soft-hearted and back to the beginning. I've only heard about it, I haven't experienced it, and it's hard to guess and comment on the details. I thought about how two people who loved each other could let go so easily. Love is too complicated, and I can't have an epiphany with this feeling. True or false, right or wrong may not be clear in one or two sentences. Maybe everyone is not wrong, I don't believe in love, and I don't expect anything, it doesn't seem to make sense to me.

Today, from half past one in the afternoon until almost getting off work, I was studying in the party class, and finally returned to the office after the exam, and I was ready to get off work after processing a few urgent orders. I think I'll take the initiative to send a message to N and see if she responds. Probably it means to sigh the time flies, tomorrow Saturday will work overtime normally, and generally one or two days at the end of the month is my busiest time, because I have to deal with a lot of production orders. She replied quickly and will be working overtime with her roommate tomorrow. I'm curious, does AH still need to read books? In fact, I forgot that the financial month has to end at the end of the month, and they will all work overtime. N said you come on, there is no follow-up, I thought that was the end of today's chat.

When I heard the sound of WeChat messages when I was riding, I thought it was a message in which group, because I only joined a new group yesterday, it was about the live broadcast group of the League of Legends event, and I spent 30 yuan to register today, and I went to Wuyue Plaza Xingyi Cinema to watch the game after work tomorrow. When I arrived at the Environmental Protection Bureau, I waited for the red light to be bored and took out my mobile phone to look at it, it was a message sent by N, and she took the initiative to send it to me, sharing the trivial things or feelings of life as usual. Actually, I'm not looking forward to it anymore, I'm not used to anyone talking to me, I'm afraid of getting used to it or not getting used to it. The chat can be without a follow-up, and it can be abruptly stopped, because there is no curiosity, not expectation. But I still habitually replied, unfortunately, I missed a green light, and I need to wait for 60 seconds, so I took advantage of this gap to reply, it's okay, it's okay, it's just that the report and there is no penalty to be afraid of what, not embarrassed. It turns out that the notification of the student apartment has changed the original way, and N is also on the list this time. At first, I thought it was due to the involvement of my roommates, because AH was often reported by the management department, so I was used to it. N says no, writes everyone down, and then scores, the reason for the deduction, etc. The overall deduction of points, and also wrote that department. I've always been a man's wording, so you've become famous, although you're already famous, basically a lot of people know you know that it's my fellow in that department. It's embarrassing, you'll find out tomorrow when you read the email. I went home for a long time, cleaned up the room, and when I saw the message, I replied with a few words, it's not a big deal, I once talked to my roommates with the leader, and I haven't rectified it, and now I've moved out together, and I don't have to worry about deducting points and fines or being embarrassed. You and your roommates too, try not to be on the list next time.

That's it, no more chatting. I've returned to my old rhythm of life and am used to the days when I didn't talk to N at night and say goodnight to each other. Turn on the computer after taking a shower.,Ready to play a few games.,Sent a message to JJ casually.,I haven't been in touch for a few days.,I don't like to take the initiative to send voice messages to disturb people.,It's just a daily shhh By the way, I just swiped the circle of friends and saw the dynamics of Qi, I have arrived in Xiamen safely, and I arrived home safely at the end of the long journey, or there is no weight loss effect in the past few days, so I liked it casually. She also recommended Fanjing Mountain in Guizhou, she said that the next stop will go to Guizhou, there is Miao Zhai Dong Zhai I also recommended, looking forward to continuing to send me beautiful scenery next time, just when I also go out to travel.

Tomorrow after work should go to Wuyue Square to watch the League of Legends finals, this is the first time to go to the scene and watch the game with many people, it is estimated that it is a relatively different experience, I just hope that the SN team will not pull the crotch, it is best to defeat DWG, and continue to leave the championship trophy in the LPL, three consecutive championships are perfect. If you can't defeat it, play your true level, and it makes sense that LCK's strength should not be underestimated to win the championship. I didn't report overtime the day after tomorrow, thinking about whether to contact Pisces and get red wine, I don't know if she has wood and free on Sunday, invite her to have a meal, I haven't seen her for a long time, old friends seem rusty, occasionally chat a few words in Alipay, care about each other and greet each other about some daily life.

It's very well controlled today.,The game is played until 10 o'clock and get off the machine on time.,And now the early bedtime diary is nearing the end.,Can't write anymore.,Otherwise, you'll go to bed late or stay up late with insomnia.,There's no point.,That's it.,Good night!