I didn't need to work overtime today, but I thought AH would go overtime to read a book or something, and I needed to bring breakfast, so I still got up early in the morning and was as early as usual. I didn't contact AH to communicate with her in advance, and it was embarrassing that she didn't come to work overtime today. I found out through chatting with N that today's breakfast was not wasted and eaten by N. AH must have told her, otherwise how would she know? In fact, I also reported an extra overtime meal for lunch, and in the end, I also took a break in the afternoon and slipped away, which was a waste of two overtime meals. Thinking that AH will work overtime, if N doesn't go back at noon, he will just bring two meals.

When I learned that AH didn't come to work overtime, and N went back to the dormitory early, I didn't have the motivation and desire to work overtime. After making an inventory report, I was called by the leader to go to the workshop to move the pole. I was busy for a long time intermittently, and time passed so quickly in the morning, I didn't want to eat overtime meals, so I rode home directly. When I arrived at the community, I was not very hungry and suddenly wanted to drink beef soup, so I went to Huainan beef soup and asked for a medium portion of 15 pieces, two baked cakes for three yuan, a total of 18 pieces. The taste is okay, and after eating, I go home and rest. I watched TV for a long time, and I didn't take a break at noon, and I went to the Agricultural Bank near my home at about two o'clock to activate my social security card. In the evening, I still ordered a yellow braised chicken rice as usual, and played a handful of Yunding Zhiyi with QQ, but the network of Unicom was too bad, and I didn't play when I was bored with disconnection all the time.

I was just chatting with N, and she said that I was incomprehensible and stubborn, which was the same as what AH had said about me. I finally realized that my personal problems were too big, and no wonder no one liked a boy like me. I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life, really. I'm too self-righteous and always put pressure on others. If others don't let me do it, I will resolutely not do it. Maybe it will be better.

The early bedtime diary seems to be at an impasse, and suddenly there is nothing left to record and update. In the future, is it necessary to insist on updating it every day? Think about the recent early bedtime diary, which basically records some small things about AH and N, such as conversations. If she really doesn't have anything to do with me anymore, what will I record? There should be interesting things and interesting people appearing. What's going to happen in my life next, do I really need to change? I've been changing, in fact! It's just that the pace of change is slower.

Just listen to N's words, try to send her as few messages as possible, unless there is something, like it can only be out of friends, just keep your distance, distance produces beauty. As AH told me back then, the more a person gets to know you, the more they either like you or the more they hate you and want to get away with you. To put it bluntly, it is wishful thinking that liking or confessing has no value in existence, and will only put pressure on the other party. When you see this, you will understand a lot, and you will let go of a lot, even if you like it, you can put it down, and there is nothing you can't afford to put down. You can like someone for no reason, and you can have a million reasons for not liking someone. It's not wrong to like someone, and it's certainly not wrong to dislike someone. Don't struggle for the impossible, which means that the twisted melon is not sweet. This can be regarded as what AH taught me in the past, and I have never forgotten it, and I dare not forget it.

Many things can be made easy by willingness, but wishful thinking by liking a person will not end well. After a long time, I will let go when I am tired, and my favorite will disappear at any time. In the days to come, how to better deal with and face the direct relationship between AH and N, there should be no embarrassment or discomfort. Since they are colleagues, roommates, and fellow countrymen are more friends of the opposite sex, such a relationship is no longer complicated. I think I'm just stubborn, self-righteous, and it's ridiculous to give everything for an unrealistic, plausible liking. No one understands you, understands you, cherishes you, that's self-righteousness. All I know is that when they need me, I will stand up and do it, and when they don't need me, I will stay away from them until everything is back to normal. If you have never lost or possessed it, this state is the best. There will be no disappointment, no pain, no sadness and sadness, because there is nothing in the beginning, there is only self-deception and self-righteous giving, and these efforts are worthless or worthless.

I've really figured it out, do I really have my own answer? I guess I'm not sure for the time being, and it will take time to give me an answer. The methods that AH gave me at that time were one was a new love and the other was time. This also varies from person to person, I can't do it, I'm nostalgic and have a good memory, I haven't let go of the past, how can I have the heart to find a new love. How can you let go of the past without a new love, it seems to have entered an irreversible dead loop. And time, I will never question and doubt the existence, time is really enough to change everything, a person's insignificance in front of the world is like a drop in the ocean, not worth mentioning.

In this way, I actually had the answer in my heart. Yes, the twisted melon is not sweet, it is not forced, it is not stubborn, and you can let go of others in order to let go of yourself. AH is the same for N, I know the answer. The only right choice I can make now is to listen to their good words, keep my distance, get along like friends, and if I can't do it, I will still be a colleague or a fellow countryman, which will be much easier. I also feel very relaxed, and I don't like that a person can really be happy and relaxed, which is a good feeling. I sometimes ask myself, do I have someone I like, but someone I like doesn't like me. There are people who like me, no. I'm a boring soul, destined to be lonely all my life. If you don't force yourself and don't be stubborn, you can be relieved, right? It's time to rest, good night!