After writing an early bedtime diary last night, my mind was heavy and my intuition told me that I would have insomnia, and sure enough, I couldn't sleep in bed, and I played with my mobile phone for a while, and when I saw that the phone had passed twelve o'clock, I forced myself to pretend to be asleep, and I entered a dream unconsciously.

But I only slept for a while and had nightmares, I haven't had this situation for a long time, it should be a bad nightmare, I haven't dreamed for a long time, last night I had several nightmares in a row that made me sleepy, and I had palpitations.

I can't remember the events in the dream clearly after I woke up, but the nightmare affected and influenced my thoughts, and I was awake for a long time.

Today's state is not good, low work efficiency reported a day to complete the processing of orders at the end of the month, it can be regarded as a good beginning and a good end, August is very successful.

When I came home from work today, I suddenly wanted to eat the noodles I cooked, so I went to the vegetable market and bought some random vegetables, as well as wider noodles, which was enough for one dollar.

When I came back, it was quickly cooked, and after eating, I came out of the dishwashing pot and found that it was raining again, but it had stopped, and it should have been raining heavily just now.

I still send breakfast to AH today, but I've been busy reporting work and haven't sent a small messenger because I'm too busy.

Tomorrow I still bring breakfast to AH, she said that she has something to meet and discuss, and I don't seem to have time to take the initiative to contact her.

It was raining tonight, thinking that maybe I forgot to bring an umbrella, I called to ask, but I still held back, I was afraid that I would find out that I was not as courageous as before when I said the wrong thing, I was afraid that she would ignore me and I no longer need breakfast, so I had to calm down and not disturb her reading.

I listened to AH's words, and took the initiative to chat with her roommate, that is, my fellow N, it seems that I talked a lot today, her dormitory had a power outage and a person was afraid of the dark, I almost mustered up the courage to send a power bank over, she said I was stupid and didn't let me go, fortunately, I didn't wait for the time when the electricity had come.

In the words, I feel that she is not defensive against me as a fellow, but she doesn't trust me very much, after all, I don't know very well, I just put myself in her shoes, she needs help at the moment, and I, as a fellow, need to take care of her, this is an opportunity to perform.

Chatting learned that she might just need someone to chat with her, and I just took the initiative to contact her.

She should love her male ticket very much and attach great importance to their relationship, so I won't have any unorthodox thoughts or transgressive behavior, I just treat her as a fellow countryman or a friend.

As for AH, I don't know how to deal with this relationship now, I've always liked her, as long as she wants.

I met a souler today and I told it about my situation, and it was very right, I was too selfish, and I like a person to put too much pressure on each other, so AH has been trying to escape from me, and I am so determined to delete my WeChat, I may have really hurt her that time, and when she came to the house for the second time, I really did something wrong.

She has someone she likes, I forced her to do something she shouldn't have done, I really regret it, I lost the opportunity to like her, I guess it started at that moment, I'm not a man, I'm taking advantage of people's danger, I'm selfish and useless.

But looking back, I was really not calm enough at that time, my self-control was too poor, I was swayed by desires and fantasies, I admit that I hurt the person I liked, even though she didn't like me, what she did for me made me unable to let go for a long time, I felt that I owed her a lot, so since then I have basically listened to her, controlled the frequency of missing her, and no longer took the initiative to contact her, and I have done all this.

It's just that occasionally I don't know it and makes her angry. I insist on bringing her breakfast every day, do I repay her, I sometimes ask myself.

I really don't love someone, I just want to do everything I can for her. I think the opportunity is rare, it will be less and less in the future, I will cherish the only precious opportunity, in a short time, bring her the best care and care, no one has ever cared for and comforted me like her before, so I have been thinking about AH and can't let go.

I'm afraid of losing AH, and no one cares about me anymore, I admit that the odds are too small, and there are too few people like that.

How much has changed in the past month, and have I learned how to love someone? I think there are some changes, I have found things that I can stick to every day, such as getting up early for breakfast and bringing breakfast, insisting on writing an early bedtime diary at night, insisting on going to bed early every day, reducing and reducing my desires and fantasies, and constantly improving my self-control and control, I began to gradually find the direction and goal, and began to be the best version of myself, these changes are brought to me by the emergence of AH.

And her roommate N also originated from AH as far as my fellow countryman knows. I like AH, in addition to being grateful, I feel sorry I started to do too badly, I don't know if there is a chance for me to apologize, I don't know what AH thinks of me, it may be a pervert is a loser, a complete stupid, a negative and pessimistic incompetent, I can accept these calmly, after all, it's my fault, I don't know if there is a chance to make up for it, I think I don't have much chance.

From the moment she deleted my WeChat, I knew that I had no chance, no initiative. It's time to rest, I just hope to have a chance to have a face-to-face long talk with AH even once, good night!