The sun was rising, and Shi Yijian, who was still brushing his teeth and washing his face, heard the mobile phone ringing in the hall, he ran out to take a look, and found that the fat man had picked up the phone and was talking in a low voice.

After Shi Yijian finished washing, he came out and asked the fat man: "This early in the morning, the gods are mysterious and secretive, does the beauty have an appointment?" Meet as soon as possible, we'll have to go out to buy equipment later, and I can't handle it without you. ”

The fat man smiled: "My blind date is still drinking milk." Didn't you shout about buying a car a few days ago, and it just so happened that my friend called and said that he now has a BMW X5 for sale at a low price, let's go and have a look. This self-driving trip, the picture is a convenient, fast and safe, monkey, you say yes. ”

As he spoke, he didn't forget to glance at the monkey.

The monkey looked at the fat man's small action, understood it, and bounced up from the sofa at once: "I have never been in such a high-end car when I am so big." But this is out of the house, you must not embarrass the Shi family, in my opinion, this car must be bought. Fatty, that's what I'm talking about. ”

Shi Yijian didn't have much research on cars, but after the monkey said this, he felt that the price of this BMW car would definitely not be cheap. So he changed the topic: "Hey, I said, when did you two become so tacit, could it be that when you slept together last night, there was some inappropriate relationship for children." ”

As he spoke, he also trembled exaggeratedly, with a look of disgust: "I now officially announce that you two will stay away from me in the future, I am the pillar of the motherland, the top ten promising young people, with you dog men and women, walking on the street, you will be beaten to death in minutes." ”

When the two of them heard this, their faces were displeased, and the fat man choked and said: "Uncle, our brothers are united, and their profits are cut off, what you said is clearly to destroy unity, and it has caused serious mental damage to our brothers, which is worse than killing a monkey, you see, now the monkeys are almost schizophrenic." ”

As soon as the monkey heard that the fat man was using him as a gunman, he also replied: "That's it, if you have something to do with our two brothers, you have to say these things that are not suitable for children in front of the juniors, you say, if the fat man is scared out of infertility or something like this in the future, I can't spare you." ”

Seeing the two pinching each other, Shi Yijian was a little funny, and hurriedly said: "Eh, okay, let's be serious, you can go to see the car, but we said okay, if the price is too expensive, I definitely can't afford it." ”

Seeing Shi Yijian agree, the fat man patted the monkey's arm and said excitedly: "Then what are you waiting for, hurry up and wash your sloppy old face, don't look good." ”

Shi Yijian looked at the two of them in high spirits, and couldn't help but look forward to it. Several people quickly cleaned up, one after the other, and followed the fat man into a yellow taxi. The taxi drove slowly down the congested road, and after about half an hour, the car stopped at a second-hand car dealership.

After getting out of the car, Shi Yijian asked suspiciously: "Didn't we go to see the car, how did we come here?" ”

While the three of them walked, they listened to the fat man say: "The owner of the car dealership here is my friend, he is not bad, the key is his second uncle, is the vice president of the antique association, your demon knife is carried with you, it is very conspicuous, I am afraid that it will be used as a controlled knife, if you go to his second uncle to open a cultural relics appraisal certificate, so you are not afraid to take it anywhere." ”

Shi Yijian felt that what the fat man said was reasonable, nodded, and followed the fat man into the car dealership. After greeting Boss Zhou in the store, after handing each person a cigarette, he directly took the three of them to the parking lot to see the car.

Boss Zhou pointed to a white car and said to the fat man: "This is the BMW X5 I mentioned on the phone, the car is in good condition, there has been no water soaking, no major accidents, and the procedures are complete, but the owner is in a hurry to use the money and mortgage it to me." The car is three years old and has a total distance of less than 70,000 kilometers. If it is someone else looking at the car, the quotation starts at 450,000, but Brother Qiang, you fancy it, 430,000 yuan can drive away directly. ”

Shi Yijian was looking at the interior of the white car through the window, and when he heard Boss Zhou say that it cost 430,000, it was better to buy a new car. In Shi Yijian's view, this second-hand car is like a second-married mother-in-law, and the old shoes worn by others are always not as pleasing to the eye as the newly married daughter-in-law.

So, he winked at the fat man and motioned for him to go away and speak.

After listening to Shi Yijian's words, the fat man standing in the shade of the tree argued: "In these years, it doesn't matter if you are newly married or second-married, there are more people who have not visited the hall and the cave room, as long as you don't look at the household registration book, who knows that this is a second-hand product." ”

Saying that, the fat man didn't forget to compare the monkey: "Uncle, to use an analogy, a tall and graceful young woman, a tigress like the monkey's wife, do you want to live with the young woman in your arms, or do you want to face the tigress every day, you can see the monkey." ”

Seeing that Shi Yijian was still hesitant, the fat man immediately increased his chips: "Uncle, look at those famous monks, Taoist priests, and feng shui masters who don't live in villas and drive luxury cars, and now you are also a master-level, when you go out, if you don't have a travel tool that can support the façade, it will seem that your old man has no real ability, so how can there be business at the door?" ”

The fat man's seemingly correct theoretical knowledge instantly dissolved the small pimple in Shi Yijian's heart, and he said bitterly: "Just do as you say, remember to kill to the lowest price, this is a bank card, the password is six eight, I won't be in the way here, look upset, call me after I get it." After finishing speaking, Shi Yijian handed out a golden bank card with difficulty.

The fat man's face was full of joy, and he snatched the bank card that was tightly clamped by Shi Yijian at his fingertips, and said with flying eyebrows: "Don't worry, uncle, I'll do something, you can rest assured." ”

The fat man returned to the car, and after chatting with Boss Zhou for a few words, he dropped the cigarette butt, took the key, and sat directly in the driver's seat of the car, checking and test driving. After half an hour of careful inspection, he said to the tireless Boss Zhou: "Old Zhou, this car is good, so let's help me get a local license plate when I come back from a business trip, is it okay?" ”

Boss Zhou agreed: "Okay, since Brother Qiang has opened his mouth, I have to do the same." ”

After completing the formalities, the fat man directly drove the BMW that had just arrived and drove the two to the shop of Boss Zhou's second uncle, Da Zhou's antique shop.

After paying the appraisal fee of 3,000 oceans, this Yaqi Demon Knife finally became an ornamental antique cultural relic. After that, the three of them drove to the labor insurance wholesale market, pharmacies, supermarkets and other places, and prepared rations, medicines, ropes, knives, sleeping bags, etc., in addition to the daily necessities placed in the trunk, each of the three big mountaineering bags weighed more than 20 pounds.

Everything was ready, and it was already evening. After the three of them hurriedly had dinner, they didn't say anything all the way, and according to the direction that had been locked by the golden compass, the car went all the way west, drove into the highway, and set off for the unknown journey.

The monkey didn't have a driver's license, so the fat man and Shi Yijian had to stay and drive. In the second half of the night, the fat man drove the car, only to see him with a pair of black and shiny panda eyes, stubble, oily face, and a big mouth that kept yawning, these days back and forth, the mental state is a little sluggish, a total of less than ten hours of sleep of him, if not for a bottle of wind oil essence support, it is estimated that he can sleep directly on the way to the car.

All the way to the west, the car soon entered the border of Guangxi, the car stopped at a hotel near the highway intersection, got the room card, the three of them did not even take off their shoes, just lay on the bed and fell asleep. Until noon the next day, the fat man was awakened by a large amount of water in his bladder. He was drowsy, his eyes were foggy, his feet were floating, he staggered into the bathroom, his sloppy old face unfortunately slammed into the corner of the door, and let out a miserable howl, and instantly pulled Shi Yijian, who was swimming with a group of beautiful women in his sleep, back to the big bed in the hotel, and the three of them woke up completely.

After a hearty meal, the three of them continued their long journey. According to the instructions of the golden compass, after nearly ten hours of driving, nearly 400 kilometers were driven one after another. According to the instructions of the golden compass and the calculation of the location, Shi Yijian was probably twenty or thirty kilometers away from the destination this time.

After checking into a hotel, it was already past eleven o'clock in the evening. The fat man drank all the leftover soup from the instant noodles, took out the cigarette and stuck it in his mouth, and with the flickering of the fire, a unique smell of cigarettes instantly filled the entire room.

He leaned back on the sofa, his feet were cocked, and while smoking, he looked at the half-dead monkey lying on the bed, and said with a smile: "I said monkey, where are you Shi family's masters, why did you send you to make soy sauce?" ”

The monkey sat in the car for a long time, and he was a little motion sick, and he chanted: "The master is in the people, and a great god like me who is hidden in the mountain village can't be seen by ordinary people." ”

The fat man chuckled, obviously not believing the monkey's words: "You are really wronged by this great god, and you can take half a life in a car." ”

The monkey's face did not change, and he smiled indifferently: "I said that this great god is not the other great god, and the heavens are entrusted to the people, and they must first suffer their minds, work their muscles and bones, and endure the unbearable of ordinary people, ordinary people like you will not understand." ”

"Wow, so you're definitely one."

Just when the monkey thought that the fat man praised him and was complacent, the fat man immediately made up for it: "If you can't fight back, you can't scold back, you don't fight back when you are scolded on the street, and you can't fight back when you go home. Hey, it's hard for a mortal like me to become a god in this life, it's painful. ”

Shi Yijian listened to these two teasing comparisons and sang the two-person turn, he coughed lightly: "Let's go west all the way to learn the scriptures, the road is tired, Wukong, Bajie, rest early, and hurry tomorrow." ”

When the monkey heard this, he immediately said to the fat man: "Idiot, didn't you see Senior Brother Sha speak, hurry up and go to sleep." After speaking, he lifted the quilt and fell asleep.

The two of them froze in place, you look at me, I look at you, between their eyes crossed, they realized in an instant.

Shi Yijian pressed the quilt, the fat man flew up to the top of Mount Tai and pressed it ten times, the monkey was stuffed in the quilt panting and screaming, and the sound resounded throughout the floor, lasting for a long time. Until the next day, when they checked out, the front desk girl, the security uncle and the cleaning aunt all looked at the three of them curiously, with a little disgust in their eyes.