This news shocked Xiaomin beyond measure, but in just a few months, Zheng Yan had such a drastic change. Although Zheng Yan just said indifferently: "I'm tired of that job, I want to find my own value, and I don't want to be immersed in pain every day at work, feeling that I am being consumed by time." Although I am a little bitter now, I am very happy. Speaking of Lin Shanshan, Zheng Yan felt guilty: "In fact, she didn't do anything wrong, she suffered a lot when she was a child, she cherished her original life very much, I failed her, I willfully abandoned my job, she has no sense of security, the fault is not her, it's just that she doesn't understand me, she doesn't know the life I want." Speaking of her daughter, Zheng Yan couldn't help crying: "What I owe the most is Xiao Maruko, it was my willfulness that made her lose a complete family, I just want to work hard now, settle down in City B as soon as possible, take her over, and grow up with her." ”

Xiaomin inadvertently discovered that the man who had always maintained a warm smile in front of him, even when he broke up, was a man who smiled and comforted himself, revealing his fragile side in front of her for the first time. She can deeply feel his love for Maruko, a big man may not cry when he faces many difficulties alone, and the only person who can make him cry may be his precious daughter.

Xiaomin had an inexplicable impulse in her heart, which was difficult to calm down for a long time, she wanted to go to City B to find Zheng Yan, although she also felt sorry for Zheng Yan for Zheng Yan's divorce, but deep down in her heart, she actually felt that she noticed a little joy, Xiaomin has been single all these years, isn't it just that there is a person living in the castle in her heart. A person who was already out of reach now has a faint chance to be together again, and his cowardice in the past few years missed him, and now he can't miss it anymore.

After thinking about it for a night, tossing and turning in my heart was always entrenched in this thought, I couldn't sleep for a long time, and when I woke up the next day, I booked a ticket for the next day, and I was ready to rest for a whole day, go to City B to see him, and say the words that I have buried in my heart for many years: I love you. Now I am no longer the cowardly girl I used to be, I have grown up, I no longer blindly obey my parents, I can be independent and self-reliant, and I can be responsible for my love. Although she has grown up slower and missed him for many years, if she can't seize this opportunity again, she is afraid that she will never have the opportunity to be with him again in her life. Although I made a decision and asked for annual leave from the company, I also wanted to fly to City B immediately, come to him in front of him, and say those three words. However, a woman's nature always doesn't want to appear in front of her beloved with two big dark circles under her eyes and a haggard look. Women are pleasing to themselves, and this has been the case since ancient times.

Zheng Yan learned the news that she was coming later, and he was a little embarrassed for a while, which was a natural emotion, he didn't want her to see his embarrassed appearance now, he didn't want her to know that he lived in the basement for 800 yuan a month in order to save money. In just a few months after coming to City B, Zheng Yan couldn't immediately adapt to the rhythm of the city, and he was able to live in a better house with his own income, but he thought about the fact that he still had a mortgage in City P, and thought about his daughter who was waiting to be fed, so why not let him choose to make himself miserable.

But Xiaomin was coming, and Zheng Yan suddenly felt a little down, but since it was a fact that she was coming, he could only tidy himself up tomorrow and accompany her to play in City B for a few days. He didn't know Xiaomin's thoughts, he thought that his feelings had become like this, he really didn't deserve to have a love anymore, fortunately he had Xiao Maruko, and now his heart was completely stuffed with Xiao Maruko, and Xiao Maruko was his greatest happiness to be able to live a happier life.

At the airport, it is a reunion after a long absence, or that greeting: long time no see.

Zheng Yan politely kept an appropriate distance, but Xiaomin, who was rushing all the way, saw him from a distance, and didn't even care about his luggage, so he rushed to throw Zheng Yan's much thicker chest. Zheng Yan looked at the familiar and strange girl in his arms in shock, this girl he had known for more than ten years, this girl who had occupied a corner of his heart since high school. She used to be cowardly, tranquil, and withdrawn, but now she is unrecognizable to him.

Xiaomin looked at Zheng Yan with a stunned face, and couldn't help but smile: "In Xitang, when I needed you, you came as soon as possible, and when you needed me today, I came immediately." ”

Zheng Yan was confused by Xiaomin's words, but he still touched her head dotingly, not daring to put his hand on her back or waist.

Zheng Yan took Xiaomin's luggage and took her to the hotel that had been reserved, Xiaomin said unhappily: "Let's go to your place first, I'll invite you to dinner in the evening." ”

Zheng Yan still left her things at the hotel first, and then took her to dinner.

Xiao Min, who made up her mind, looked relaxed, although she rested all day yesterday, but her little heart turned out to be as small as when she was in love with him, although she was no longer the young girl, he had even been married and divorced, but Xiao Min felt as if she had returned to her youth, back to the bridge where it snowed. Although at that time, his face was as white as snow, unlike the current time when he had a beard, but in Xiaomin's eyes, this man with sparse beard stubble and the white boy in the past were still the same person, and she knew deeply that his love for her had never changed.

While eating, Xiaomin asked him, "How are you doing lately?" ”

"Except for wanting my daughter to be uncomfortable, it's all good." Zheng Yan's careful dress can't hide the tiredness in his voice, although it can be seen that he may be very tired now, but his eyes are different from when he was in P City, Xiaomin seems to see the shining light of the year again.

Xiao Min looked at his increasingly mature face, looked at her extremely envious eyes, and her heart was full of love: "Zheng Yan, I love you, let's get married." ”

Zheng Yan's eyes were full of incredulity, and he said without thinking: "This is impossible, first, you can't say that, second, we can't be together, I don't deserve you, I'm a divorced person with children who can't achieve anything can't delay your happiness." ”

Xiaomin said firmly: "You are my happiness, I have missed you once, I don't want to miss it again, I used to be cowardly, I didn't understand you, I never saw you smiling at me, I never saw the pain behind you." However, since I knew I was wrong, I have been changing, I am working hard, changing little by little, making myself strong and independent, just so that one day, when you need me, I can also let you rely on me. ”

Zheng Yan always just shook his head and said calmly: "We can't go back to the past, now we can only be friends, we are people from two worlds." You're getting better and better, and you're going to meet the person you're a good match, and that person can't be me. I am a divorced man, and in the future I will wait for someone who is compatible with me, and that person can never be you. We're not compatible right now, you know? ”

Xiaomin asked rhetorically, "Then what do you tell me about matching?" ”

Zheng Yan said softly: "Since ancient times, there has been a saying that two people from the same class have similar values and outlook on life, for example, Cinderella in various novels does not exist most of the time, how can two people who are not at the same level talk about liking each other?" The same is true for matching, I am a divorced man with a one-year-old daughter, and you have become better and better in recent years, so good that I am a little ashamed of myself, we are no longer in the same world as each other, I may not understand your world more and more, and you don't understand my world, in my world now, my feelings are just insignificant things, everything is not as important to me as Maruko. That's what I, a divorced man who can't get anything to do. The more Zheng Yan spoke, the more excited he became.

Xiaomin said softly: "If you really love each other, why care about other people's opinions, I'm not the same me I used to be, I was not brave and independent enough at that time, now that I've grown up, I know the truth is that I love you, you love me, and we can be together." As long as we love each other, we can face each other even in the face of big storms and waves, as long as we love each other, there is no hurdle that cannot be overcome. How many centuries have passed, what if you are divorced, what if you have a daughter, I love you, I love her very much since the moment I first saw Maruko, if we get married, we can not have children for Maruko. ”

Zheng Yan was speechless, Xiao Min even thought about whether to have a child or not, to be honest, Zheng Yan's heart had already burst into tears, Xiao Min's words tonight were something he had ever dared to imagine. If it was to go back to the past, if she was not married, how good it would be if she was not married! However, Zheng Yan's situation is very bad now, he didn't want Xiaomin to know his predicament and embarrassment, but now he has to say it.

Zheng Yan bit his lip and said in a deep voice: "I'm in a bad situation now, and I won't hide it from you, I didn't want you to see my downfall, but now I can't take care of my pitiful self-esteem." You say let's get married, how are we going to get married, I now rent a basement for 800 a month, there is no independent bathroom, and the environment is far from imagining. How can I marry you like this? ”

Xiaomin's eyes became brighter and brighter: "I'm not afraid, I believe in your talent, I believe that you will be able to break out of the world sooner or later, but take 10,000 steps back, it doesn't matter if you can't soar, we can go back to P City, I will work to help you bring the little balls together, and then we will work together slowly, even if we can't live a rich life, we can live a happy life after all." ”

On the table next to the table, several college students are playing their own design of the card board game, the card is their own drawing pattern, very exquisite, it can be seen that the designer has a good art foundation, the card play is very novel, very suitable for young people to play. The vitality of the young man reflected Zheng Yan more and more like an old man who had lost his vitality, Xiaomin's eyes were warm and hot, she didn't want to give up this hard-won opportunity, she didn't want to miss him again.

In the end, Zheng Yan said dejectedly: "I can't convince myself to be with you no matter what, and now I am no longer qualified to be with you, and I can't give you happiness." ”

Xiaomin said aggressively: "How can you not be qualified, you have filled my heart all these years, just like my room is unconsciously filled with all kinds of objects made by you." Now you're telling me you're not qualified, so why have you been so good to me, and who else can I like like this? I've been single all this day, shouldn't you be responsible? Xiao Min finally shed tears in the words of excitement.

Zheng Yan didn't know the words, he just shook his head like a puppet, thinking back to what he had done for so many years was indeed as Xiaomin said, he was obviously not with her anymore, but he still stayed by her side, did he love her or hurt her? It turned out that for more than ten years, her room was filled with gifts that she had inadvertently given, if she was Xiaomin, watching a room slowly piled up with gifts from herself, how could she have room for others. Looking back, it turns out that she is the most selfish person, and she has always lived selfishly in the name of taking care of herself and thinking that she is good. When I was with Li Shiwen at the beginning, it was my own selfishness, and I obviously loved Xiaomin deeply, but I easily gave it up. was fruitless with Xiaomin, it was his willfulness that ruined each other's love, and he no longer worked hard for this relationship, but quietly let it pass. In the end, he chose to let go and chose to marry Lin Shanshan, and his indecision along the way brought endless harm to each other. Zheng Yan looked at Xiaomin, who had tears in the corners of her eyes, and made a decision in her heart, no longer restrain her, let her fly away, no longer be that ruthless spider to weave an invisible heart web, since she can't give her happiness, why bind her in the net.

Let her go away, let her fly, even though her heart is as painful as cutting off the flesh in her heart at this moment, but she can't be selfish enough to carry her by her side. Zheng Yan raised his head and endured the tears that came out of his eyes, and said coldly: "You are right, you are responsible for me alone, I was not thoughtful at first, but I didn't expect to cause you such a big trouble, from now on, I will completely withdraw from your life, and in the future, we will no longer be in touch, no longer friends, just strangers." ”

Xiaomin was extremely sad, and said indignantly: "What are you afraid of now, I am brave, why are you afraid, or are you inferior?" What do you have to be inferior, in my heart you are a very talented and gifted man, I am full of confidence in your future, and you can't have confidence in yourself and in me? ”

Suddenly, Zheng Yan's tears could no longer be contained, and the two looked at each other and couldn't cry. After a long time, Zheng Yan's low and charming voice said slowly: "I realized how selfish I am when you say this today, I am still teasing your heart even though I can't be with you anymore, what a shameless person I am!" What you can see of me now is the best side I can show you, my back is miserable poverty, my clothes have just been taken out of the dry cleaners, with a hint of fragrance, otherwise the clothes drying in the basement will eventually smell a slight musty smell. You say I'm a talented person, but I don't believe it myself, I know that my life will get better and better, and when I get used to the city, I will gain its respect for me, but I don't know how long it will be before I can drag you down. I am already a man who is nearly thirty years old, a divorced man with children, and a man who is struggling for life in City B. Why do you say I deserve your love. If I hadn't been married, I would still dare to say out loud that I love you, but I don't dare now, love is no longer the most important thing in my life, now in my life only the little pill is the most important, this emotion is something you can't understand. Whenever I get off work, I feel like I'm almost tired and paralyzed, but as soon as I see Maruko's video, I feel full of strength. So, you know, we're two completely different people, and I'm not worthy of you, not only because I can't give you a good life, but because I can't even fully belong to you emotionally. ”

Xiaomin choked up and said: "I just want to tell you, I love you, now I won't force you, give you a month to think about it, I will wait for you for a month, if you really don't want to be with me after a month, we will be like strangers from now on, as you said." ”

Zheng Yan watched the figure of Xiaomin, who was brought by pear blossoms and rain, slowly disappear into the night of City B, in the huge city where the lights are red and green, and the neon flashes, most people are as humble as ants, and every relationship is like a spider web under the eaves, struggling in the face of wind and rain, and I don't know when the web woven with love will be wiped out overnight.

Zheng Yan helplessly looked at the back of the distance, and couldn't help but keep looking at it, as if he would never see it again in this life. Zheng Yan also knew that if he didn't chase him out tonight, he would never have a chance again, but he really didn't have the courage to chase him out at this moment.

Zheng Yan saw the college student at the next table looking at him with strange eyes, Zheng Yan ordered a beer, went directly to the college student's table, and said in a deep voice: "Brother is in a bad mood today, my brother will drink with me, and the list will be mine." ”

The college students looked confused, but nodded in agreement.

While drinking, the college student taught Zheng Yan to play the game he invented, and threw himself into the game, like life.

Gradually, Zheng Yan found this game very fun, and after getting acquainted with them, Zheng Yan knew that they were sophomores at the Academy of Fine Arts, and this game was invented when they were bored. However, as the wine became stronger and stronger, Zheng Yan felt in his heart that this might be an opportunity, but the drunkenness pulled him into sleep step by step like a warm quilt.

The next day, Xiaomin left a message to Zheng Yan: I replied.

Zheng Yan no longer wants to reply as before, even if it is just a short word, it may have an unforgettable memory for her, let it go completely. Xiaomin, who couldn't wait for the news, looked back at the airport gate several times, how much she wished she could see that familiar figure, but she vaguely knew in her heart that maybe she couldn't wait for him anymore, and she wouldn't even wait for his greetings or any news.