April is a beautiful season, and as far as the eye can see, spring is full of life.

Another year has passed, although it is still a person who goes to class, eats, and self-study, but this year I don't know why the loneliness in my heart has become stronger and stronger. Once upon a time, there was a person who was always worried about herself, and even if she didn't know about him, she could always feel that he was thinking about her. At that time, she felt that she was not so lonely alone. It's just that now she knows that he has a girlfriend, although they are still friends with each other, but the sense of loss seems to have slowly grown from a small seed into a big tree.

In the past year, Xiaomin began to examine the relationship between herself and Zheng Yan, and found that her feelings for Zheng Yan were not only limited to friends, but also to lovers. However, for so long, he never faced his heart, squandered his feelings for himself, and lost him unconsciously. Especially in the past year, Xiaomin was horrified to find that she might have fallen in love with Zheng Yan, and she unconsciously became dependent on him in her heart, but she didn't know why Zheng Yan resolutely left her when she was about to open up to him. Whenever she is studying by herself, Xiaomin is still used to carrying Zheng Yan's three notebooks, and the notebooks in college and high school are no longer useful, but she still carries them, and when she is studying by herself, she first puts the three notebooks that are kept clean and clean by her side first, so that she can calm down and study.

Three notebooks have become her favorite things.

It's just that Zheng Yan has a beloved, Xiaomin only has blessings in his heart, and the two seem to talk more than before, it seems that Zheng Yan, who has unloaded the ambiguity, treats this friendship more sincerely, and occasionally dares to make Xiaomin's jokes unscrupulously on the few phone calls. At this time, Xiaomin realized that Zheng Yan really wanted to treat herself as a friend and a best friend. However, in Xiao Minyun's light tone, there was a trace of stubborn emotion in his heart resisting.

However, from now on, in Zheng Yan's words, we are best friends and will always be best friends.

Hearing this, Xiao Min finally thought of how sad Zheng Yan felt when he once said the sentence "It turned out to be just a friend", at that time Xiao Min didn't feel that there was anything wrong with being friends with Zheng Yan, but when he realized the pain of this sentence, he knew the weight of the sadness buried in this sentence.

Xiaomin is extremely curious about Zheng Yan's emotions in her heart, and whenever she can't help but be curious, she will quietly come to Zheng Yan's QQ space and look at the pictures of love that Zheng Yan and Li Shiwen don't often post. It's just that every time before launching QQ Space, she has to silently delete her footprints and not leave a mark of her visit.

Xiaomin occasionally remembered what Zhu Peng said: "If you don't want to get to know him, you will lose him after all." Looking back now, Zhu Peng's crow mouth seems to be right. And Zheng Yan, what kind of person he is, he has never deliberately understood, when he wants to understand, he has a girlfriend, Xiaomin has a lazy heart, or he is even more reluctant to understand him. However, Xiaomin knew that deep down he wanted to know what kind of person he was.

Switch to Zheng Yan's heart, back to the night last year, there was no response for several years of pursuit, even if Xiaomin took the initiative to get a greeting, coupled with the failure of the college entrance examination and the difficulties of life, his originally arrogant head slowly lowered his head in the face of life, and watched himself become more and more humble, and the more painful he became, the more humble. Until, he felt inferior and thought that he was not worthy of her, so on a calm night, he was alone on the top floor of the dormitory building, raising a glass to invite Mingyue, drinking into three people, and finally under the dim moonlight under the brilliant lights of City B, he gave up his feelings for her in his heart and retreated to the position of a friend. That night, it was Chinese New Year's Eve, and he was alone in the entire dormitory building, shouting to the moon a hundred times: "Xiaomin, I love you!" In the end, he stood up crookedly, pointed to the moon and sighed softly: "You and I, who are thousands of miles apart, are witnessing under the same moon, I put down this love, and from now on we will be good friends, best friends." I can't protect you as a lover and lover, so I will protect you as a friend. ”

Xiaomin, who is gradually coming out of her emotional trough, plans to go out for a walk, and she doesn't even like to go home for a while, afraid of being alone, but she is always alone. Eventually, she decided to travel and went to Xitang. Before leaving, Xiaomin found that she had a little cough, but she didn't care, but after arriving in Xitang, Xiaomin found that she had a fever when she arrived at the inn, and she originally thought that she would just sleep well, but she didn't expect that Xiaomin's consciousness was blurred in the middle of the night, she couldn't get up when she struggled, and she looked at her phone with difficulty and didn't know who to ask for help. I have few friends by my side for so many years, and I don't want my parents to worry about me, so I sent a ghost to call Zheng Yan.

"Ahem, ahem, ahem......"

"Xiaomin, what's wrong with you? Sick? At half past one in the morning, Zheng Yan asked anxiously and concernedly.

"I'm sorry, I called you so late, but I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, I didn't want my parents to worry, and I didn't know who to call for help, so I had to call you."

"Are you in the dorm? Call your roommates and I'll ask them to take you to the doctor. ”

Xiaomin, who was alone in a foreign land, suddenly sobbed softly aggrievedly: "I'm not at school, I'm in Xitang." ”

Zheng Yan sat up suddenly, woke up the roommates sleeping on the top bunk, and said anxiously: "Where are you, call 120 first, and I'll be there tomorrow." ”

Xiaomin's consciousness was confused, she only shook her head, and said weakly: "Don't." ”

Zheng Yan immediately got up, hurriedly packed his luggage, and immediately took a taxi to the airport.

The next day, at the hotel, Xiaomin was woken up by the ringtone of her mobile phone in a daze, and on the other end of the phone was a voice she was very familiar with: "Where is it?" ”

Xiao Min vaguely remembered the phone call last night, as if it was a call to him in a dream, Xiao Min said the name of the inn in a vague way.

Soon after, there was a knock on the door. Xiao Min struggled to get up with all her might, and the moment the door slowly opened, she saw that white and pale face, her beautiful eyes were bloodshot, and her face was full of anxiety.

Xiaomin couldn't help but smile, her flushed face was charming and moving.

Zheng Yan, who didn't have time to appreciate Xiaomin's charming posture, immediately carried her to the hospital. Pneumonia, hospitalization, hanging bottles.

Although Xiaomin still felt uncomfortable in the hospital bed, she felt extremely stable in her heart.

Li Shiwen received a call from Zheng Yan's roommate asking where Zheng Yan went, because Zheng Yan was absent from class in the midterm exam the next day, and the roommate had to lie to the teacher that Zheng Yan was sick last night. And when he called Zheng Yan, he couldn't get in touch, so he had to ask Li Shiwen.

Seeing Li Shiwen's phone, Zheng Yan realized that he was in too much of a hurry, and he didn't ask for leave for the exam, nor did he ask for leave for part-time work.

Li Shiwen asked anxiously: "Yan, the duck said last night that you left in a hurry, what happened?" ”

Zheng Yan didn't intend to hide it, and said truthfully: "A friend is sick, and I took her to the hospital. ”

Li Shiwen asked: "Which friend, what kind of disease?" ”

"Chu Xiaomin, she has pneumonia in Xitang, and I have already taken her to the hospital."

Li Shiwen's mind suddenly went blank, she heard Zheng Yan mention Chu Xiaomin, saying that she was his best friend. It's just that Zheng Yan traveled thousands of miles overnight just to take her to see a doctor, is this friendship still a simple friendship? Li Shiwen was silent for a long time, and said in a deep voice: "Are you just friends with her?" ”

"Just friends."

Li Shiwen said hysterically: "Will I believe it?" For an ordinary friend, you can fly more than 1,000 kilometers overnight and don't even take the midterm exam, just to take her to the doctor, Zheng Yan, I really didn't expect you to tell such a clumsy lie, you don't know how to weave a reason without loopholes when you lie, you tell me the truth, do you care more about her or me? ”

Zheng Yan was speechless for a while, not knowing how to speak, it seemed that it was wrong to say anything at this time, and it was wrong not to say it, so he could only say helplessly: "It's the best friend, not an ordinary friend, in my heart, you are my girlfriend, she is just my friend, this is different." ”

Li Shiwen burst into tears and cried: "Do you care more about her or do you care more about me?" ”

Zheng Yan sighed and said firmly: "You are all very important to me, that's different. ”

Li Shiwen cried even louder, and the cry was like a knife flying thousands of miles deep into Zheng Yan's heart.

Zheng Yan was silent, and Li Shiwen sobbed softly. After a long time, Li Shiwen said indifferently: "Let's break up." ”

Zheng Yan said softly: "I like you, it's true." ”

Li Shiwen said sadly with a crying voice: "I chased you first, and I have always taken the initiative more, and I have been getting along for more than a year, I have always felt that you are a very good person, and I really love you." However, I have always felt in my heart that you don't love me enough, and you haven't even said to me that I love you once. Before, I thought you were shy or because you weren't good at expressing feelings, but it was all my own deception, and a girl's intuition told me that you have a real liking in your heart. However, I am still willing to be with you, I really love you, give up on her, I am still waiting for you in the same place. Now, the choice is yours, who do you choose? ”

Zheng Yan held his forehead with his right hand, quietly wiped the little crystal liquid from the corner of his eyes, and said in a calm tone: "If I had to choose between the two, I couldn't do it." I can swear with my life, with you, I will love you alone, and she and I will only be friends. ”

Li Shiwen said dejectedly: "Well, I know, let's break up." ”

The phone hung up.

Zheng Yan received the last text message sent to him by Li Shiwen in his life: I will ask them to help you ask for leave for the exam, and I will ask you for leave for part-time work, so be it, get together and disperse.

Xiaomin was in the ward, sleeping peacefully.

Zheng Yan, squatting in the corridor, looked at the text messages repeatedly, and finally agreed to break up, and finally, replied: Thank you.

Zheng Yan's first relationship ended.

At noon, Zheng Yan brought porridge to Xiaomin, Xiaomin looked at Zheng Yan's face and seemed to be even more pale and haggard, and said with concern: "What's the matter, your face is not very good?" ”

Zheng Yan said flatly: "If you don't sleep well for a night, you will naturally be haggard." ”

"At noon, you can rent a recliner and sleep next to the bed."

"Well, is the porridge delicious?"

"It's delicious, thank you."

"You're welcome, we're friends."

The word friend was like a heavy hammer hitting the chests of the two, and suddenly the air was calm.

Then, the two seemed to have formed a tacit understanding and no longer mentioned the word friend. After a few days, Xiaomin was discharged from the hospital, and her condition was much better, Xiaomin wanted to give Zheng Yan the medical expenses, but Zheng Yan resolutely refused, the reason being: "If I get sick in the future, you can also come to see me, which is enough." Xiaomin thought about it, ask him to travel in the ancient town, and booked a train ticket for him in advance, so he couldn't let him go back and pay for the journey by himself. In the end, Xiaomin chose the train two days later, and told Zheng Yan that the train was out of tickets, and there was no seat left, so he kept him for two more days so that he could invite him to travel and express his gratitude.

Walking together in the ancient town at night, the overly prosperous and lively town that has been developed by tourism has no trace of tranquility, and it is more noisy than the metropolis. Bars, dynamic music, handsome men and beautiful women swaying to the music, Xiaomin doesn't like such a town, and Zheng Yan doesn't like it either. Naturally, the two of them moved farther and farther away from the crowd, and sat on the bank of the creek in the silence, counting how many stars there were in the night sky where there were no stars.

This is the first time Xiaomin has spent so much time with Zheng Yan, although it is just an ordinary meal and a walk, but both of them are comfortable, in Chu Xiaomin's heart, this is probably his favorite ordinary day. It's just that the days seem too short.

Soon, the two of them set foot on the way back, one south and one north.

This year, Zheng Yan didn't go to accompany Xiaomin for her birthday, the most important reason is that she has no money, and she has spent a lot of living expenses on her part-time job, and she can only continue to work hard part-time for the rest of her days. It's just that the gift was delivered on time.

Chu Xiaomin suddenly remembered again, as if he forgot to ask what his birthday was?