Ding Yuchen is a native of Dongshan and returned to his hometown to work after graduation.

He was at work when I received the call, and I went straight to the point and asked him if he could help clear the police in Dongshan Erkan, take care of my brother Song Dongli, and not be bullied by the people in the prison. After listening to me explain the ins and outs of the matter, Ding Yuchen promised to help me ask if I knew anyone there.

I know that he is not prevaricating me, his family is from the rural area of Dongshan, and after graduation, he returned to the mechanical and electrical factory of a coal mine in the city.

Although he did not give me much hope in my brother's affairs, he was very enthusiastic about the friendship of the landlord, and insisted on inviting me to dinner to meet, after all, we have not seen each other since graduation.

In the first few years after graduation, classmates would write letters to communicate with each other, and then they would only send each other postcards on New Year's Day and Christmas to go through the motions. Ding Yuchen and I were busy with work and family in the following years, and this kind of postcard friendship remained. His phone number was passed on about two years ago through a meeting with another classmate, and I called him at the time and chatted with him for a while with the other classmates at the wine table, and then I never contacted him again. But for our first meeting many years after graduation, we were both looking forward to it, even though it was in such a very depressed and anxious situation.

Ding Yuchen's attitude made me feel a lot more relaxed, and I no longer felt that I was bothering him because of something.

I lay in the hotel until noon, and my mind was very confused, racking my brains to find someone else to help my brother settle the matter. But apart from Ding Yuchen, I really don't know anyone in Dongshan. I called two or three more of my brother's friends or business partners who could be reached at home, but they didn't find anything, and they all said they couldn't help. I can also understand them, first, it is possible that there is really nothing that can be done; Second, at this time, it is too late to ask for more blessings, who can be willing to wade into this troubled water.

Throughout the morning, I wilted in my hotel bed and did two things, one was to smoke non-stop, and the other was to keep sifting through my brother and the people in my own social circle.

At half past eleven, Ding Yuchen came to my smoky and chaotic room on time according to the address.

Pushing open the door, what surprised me was not that he had become a fat figure of two widths, nor that his original swarthy knife face had been enriched with years, but that he laughed and pointed out to the woman behind me.

I recognized Kimbe at a glance.

I didn't expect that more than ten years later, I would meet Jinbei in this embarrassed way.

When I saw Jinbei, I felt like I was grabbed by a fist in my heart for a moment, but I didn't let go, just like that, I squeezed my heart out of the blood, forming a hot current that rushed to my head, covering my face, confusing my thinking, I looked at Jinbei with a red face, but didn't speak.

Seeing my stunned appearance, Ding Yuchen laughed and clenched his fists to my shoulder, and said:

"You kid! What's wrong? Do you know me or do I don't know people? ”

I came back to my senses, and hurriedly let them into the house, and while letting them, I found that my room was messy, and I also felt my gaffe just now, and said kind words embarrassedly:

"It's such a pleasure to see you! I haven't seen you in years!

"The room made you laugh like this, and I smoked more cigarettes when I was idle, so I put it away!

"Ding Yuchen, why didn't you bring a girl to say hello to me in advance, you kid!

"I'll pour you both water."

I babbled a lot of rambling things, but in fact, I was showing Jinbei that I really wasn't like this.

Kimbe kept smiling and looking around the room and me, quietly watching me move my chair, give way to my seat, and turn around;

Straighten the sheets, turn around;

Pour the ashtray and turn around;

Pour water, turn around;

Stand, turn around.

I just kept talking and going around and around.

Ding Yuchen probably found me at a loss, pulled me to the bed, and said:

"Rest for a while, brother! Don't treat us like outsiders. ”

Hearing him say "we", the blood gathered in my head froze and froze, and the blood quickly spread down the sides of my head. I calmed down a bit, but my heart was once again clutched by my fist.

I pretended to be calm and glanced at Jin Bei indifferently, then turned to Ding Yuchen and asked:

"You two? …… Now, what's the situation? ”

Ding Yuchen punched me in the shoulder again:

"What do you kid think! We are pure neighbors! ”

I was embarrassed and relieved, patted Ding Yuchen's thigh, and laughed a few times with a red face.

I was really jealous to think they were family.

"Hahaha! …… I guess you kid misunderstood," Ding Yuchen leaned back, glared at me vigorously, and said with a smile.

"But, you two? How did you meet? "That's when I realized that I hadn't told my classmates about Kimbe during college. But now he obviously knew that Jin Bei and I had that relationship, otherwise he wouldn't have taken Jin Bei over without saying hello, and showed that look of embarrassment.

"Let's go for a walk, eat first, and talk to you slowly." Ding Yuchen sold Guan Zi and urged me.

It's better to be respectful than to obey his fate, and when I arrived in his city, I didn't have to push it, so I put on my clothes and went to the hotel together.

During this period, Jinbei always kept smiling, but never took the initiative to say a word.

I saw that she was wearing a leather coat with a mink collar, and still a gray cardigan that she liked, and her hair was combed in the hair salon, and she looked rich and fashionable.

I never looked her in the eye, I didn't dare to make eye contact with her.

We went to the nearest restaurant, which is the kind of place with karaoke, and entered a small private room, Ding Yuchen and Jin Bei asked me to order, and after a few humble words, I ordered a steamed partial fish. I remember that Jinbei was very fond of bananas and sweets, so I pointed to two women's dishes, "Crispy Yellow Cabbage" and "Strawberry Banana", and asked her, "Do you like this?" ”。

Kimbe sat on my left-hand side, glanced sideways at the menu, then looked up at me and said, "Don't mind me, but you, you're a guest!" ”

I noticed that she was looking at me, but I didn't have the courage to look back at her, so I continued to look down at the menu with a pretended composure.

Ding Yuchen handed me a cigarette and said:

"Order a few more, buddy just happened to give out a bonus today!"

I pushed the menu to Kimbe, saying:

"Ladies first, Chinese traditions must be maintained, so let's do it!"

I didn't call out Kimbe's name.

Ever since I saw her, the word "Jinbei" has been circling in my head, but I don't have the courage to shout it after all.

Jinbei also noticed my embarrassment and unnaturalness, and directly took the menu and handed it to Ding Yuchen, who was sitting on my right, and said: "Don't push around, delay more time, you are familiar with this place, so you can order it directly." I have the final say, just order four dishes, the three of us are enough, don't order too much, waste. ”

I took over and said, "yes, don't be too tidy, we're not outsiders." ”

Ding Yuchen took over the menu with his hand holding the cigarette roll, directly told the waiter the names of the two dishes, and asked for drinks. Then tell me, then I'll be in charge. Before the food comes, sing a few songs?

At this time, where am I in the mood to sing, on the one hand, my brother is still in the detention center, on the other hand, I just met Jinbei, how eager I am to know where she went after leaving me, and how she has come over for more than ten years.

For many years, I have also been feeling guilty about Jinbei in my heart, even if I put aside my regretful feelings for her, just about her transfer, I hope to at least give me a chance to apologize to her for my mother's behavior back then. Now the opportunity has come unexpectedly, and I can't miss it anyway. But now that people are in front of me, I don't know where to start. It's not just because of Ding Yuchen's presence, even if it's just me and Jinbei now, I don't know how to open this mouth.

I am no longer the original hairy boy, I can express and release my emotions regardless of everything, I have a family, I have morality in constraints, and I have responsibilities to bear, so my criteria do not allow myself to break through the red line and bottom line of feelings. Even if the purpose of the apology is very simple, but what kind of result will enter after the apology, I can't predict, after all, for so many years, Jinbei has always been hidden in the deepest corner of my heart, more than once when I am alone in the dead of night, she will come out of that corner to fill all my heart. I know better than anyone that I have never forgotten her over the years. Even when the unit asked for my opinion on buying a car, I strongly recommended buying the "Jinbei" brand with the homonym of her name. Then I often personally drive the unit of this Jinbei passenger and freight car, to participate in a variety of production tasks, in the eyes of colleagues and leaders I am an advanced model of work regardless of the inside and outside, only I know, in addition to those, I also put my thoughts on Jinbei on this car, as if Jinbei around me every day.

Now when I come to Dongshan City, I drive this car.

Ding Yuchen saw that I was not interested in singing, so he came to a wise man who did not say dark words, and took the initiative to tell me about his acquaintance with Jinbei.

It also includes his acquaintance with Kimbei's ex-husband.

Jin Bei's ex-husband, a staff member of the department in charge of Ding Yuchen's unit. The two had no specific business contact, but because of a brawl in front of a street kebab stall, they became friends.

After getting off work that evening, Ding Yuchen came to a popular kebab stall on the pedestrian street to buy a handful of meat skewers to satisfy his hunger, and heard a noisy shout quite far away. He went up to persuade him in the intention of being fair, patted the middle-aged man on the shoulder and said: "Uncle came out to eat a skewer at such an old age, what are you doing with such a big thing, extinguish the fire, and pull it down!" ”

didn't want his persuasion to provoke the fire on himself, the "uncle" turned around and scolded him viciously: "Little rabbit cub, you call me uncle!" Then he put his fist on Ding Yuchen's chest. Ding Yuchen was stunned by this sudden fist, looked the middle-aged man up and down, suppressed the fire and said, "Obviously it's a person about the same age as my father, isn't it right for me to call you uncle?" ”

"X fuck you! You're only losing, your whole family is losing, your family is losing for the rest of your life, you two little B cubs! ”

Ding Yuchen smiled, he understood that this was a person who lost in the gambling game because his "uncle" was taboo by him and became "losing".

And the young man should have called him "uncle" too.

I don't know if there is a tacit understanding between the young people, or only these two young people have a tacit understanding, in short, Ding Yuchen and the young man who was scolded before glanced at each other, and there was a Lingxi, knowing that there was someone on the right road tonight, so a look made the two quickly reach an alliance, and at the same time, it didn't take much effort to throw the middle-aged man to the ground, punched and kicked, and before he came back to his senses, the two of them had already run a few hundred meters away.

Later things, such as the uncle who returned home in disgrace after being beaten, and the family called the police; For example, the police station finally found these two young people who beat people, and after verification, they did not know each other, which did not constitute a group fight; For example, in the end, the uncle's family withdrew the lawsuit, and although the two young people were exempted from public security punishment, they were both notified and punished by the unit; For example, the two young people who were punished were finally confirmed to be from the same unit.

But none of that matters anymore, I'm not in the mood to pay attention to these things.

Anyway, that's how the two of them met.

After that, they naturally became a pair of iron buddies who attempted to enter the class room.

The iron buddy naturally had nothing to reserve, so Ding Yuchen quickly discovered that this iron buddy of the same sex as him was called Ding Jia's serious infidelity to his wife.

Ding Jia's family has a very good background, and he belongs to the kind that has enjoyed fine clothes and food since he was a child, and he also has the capital of his game life. Although his grandfather has now retired from the leadership position of the Dongshan City Finance Bureau, the strength of the family and his own character have made him unable to keep a low profile.

After marrying Jin Bei, one of the best beauties, Ding Jia restrained some of his temperament and was a good husband for a year, and then because Jin Bei and Ding Jia had an unmarried pregnancy before marriage, the probability of pregnancy in the body was seriously reduced, and Ding Jia's bold face was revealed.

A plan to hide from the world began to be carried out under his shameless brewing and Kimbe's stupid acquiescence.

He coaxed Jin Bei into a ten-month false pregnancy state, and on the other hand, he gave birth to a child with a woman outside, and then in the dark night of deep winter, Ding Jia brought back an infant baby for Jin Bei.

The sentence "raised" properly dispelled Jinbei's doubts and grievances.

I fell in love with Jinbei for a few months, we were still children, at that time I would not explore the nature of people at a deep level, and I couldn't explore, and then I parted with Jinbei for more than ten years, everyone grew from ignorance to the age of standing, what happened in the middle, and what kind of three views were formed, each other will not understand. Therefore, I have no way of understanding Jinbei's heart, and I can't believe that the woman I once loved is so stupid.

"You really agreed to give him this child? So when did you know it was his wild child outside? "I was so excited and couldn't wait to know all the details right away.

"Because I can't have children because of me, I feel a little ashamed of their family. He began to tell me that it was to raise a child in order to gag other people's mouths. After all, their family is also a well-known family in Dongshan, and Ding Jia has a son, if there is no queen, I feel that my responsibility is too great, so I agreed to cooperate with him to make a fake pregnancy, and even his family and my family lied together.

"Although I am uneasy, I still plan to raise this child as my own son and continue to deceive. However, during a room cleaning, I found an agreement signed by Ding Jia and a girl named "Li Fanghong", it turned out that the child was born to Ding Jia and Li Fanghong, and the content of the agreement was roughly that the child would be raised by Ding Jia after birth, and Li Fanghong would not recognize the child for the rest of his life, and Ding Jia paid Li Fanghong a breakup fee of 5,000 yuan.

"I felt like five thunders were thundering at the time, and I can't describe my feelings at that time, maybe I was to blame, it was God's retribution for my deception.

"Ding Jia didn't quibble when he saw that the matter was revealed, and had a showdown with me, telling me that it was after Li Fanghong got pregnant first, that he came out to let me pretend to be pregnant at the same time, and then the child was brought back for me to bring, anyway, I may not have any more children of my own in my life, so I will naturally be good to this child. Now that I know the truth, Ding Jia let me choose to stay by myself. I struggled for about a month before finally deciding to stay.

"Don't ask me why I'm so ignorant and ignorant." Kimbey sealed my mouth first.

"At that time, my father had just been transferred to work in the Dongshan Finance Bureau, serving under Ding Jia's grandfather, and when his grandfather was about to retire, he spared no effort to promote my father to an important position. After climbing up to relatives, Grandpa Ding Jia used a lot of connections to help my father get the position of deputy director now.

"You can imagine it, whether it is out of my father's own face, or Grandpa Ding Jia's kindness, and my own vanity, I have to bear and swallow such ugly things."

Jinbei spoke very calmly, as if he was telling someone else's story.

"I don't know if you can understand me when I say that." Then she continued to ask me flatly.

My righteous indignation was finally defeated in her innocence, and even if I no longer understood her forbearance, I could neither accuse nor criticize. So I sighed somehow, lit a cigarette, and continued to listen to her with the anger that was about to rise above my head.

"Then I continued to take my son with me, deceiving everyone and myself. I lied to myself because I thought that Ding Jia would be able to change his ways and return to the family with his children. But I was wrong, after finding out that he was cheating again, I was disheartened and impulsively swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills, which Ding Yuchen was the first to discover, and he happened to go to give us the fish he caught that day, just in time for me to start reacting after drinking the medicine, and he rushed me to the hospital.

"The result was that I couldn't continue to deceive and told my family on both sides of the story. With the support of my family, I divorced Ding Jia and took the children away.

"Because I didn't want others to know about these ugly things, during my days in the hospital, apart from my family, only Ding Yuchen's friend was there to accompany me. The two of us talked a lot, and he heard that I was originally from Qihe City, so he mentioned your name, saying that it was his classmate, and he was also from Qihe, and I said that I knew. ”

Jin Bei, who had been talking with his head down, raised his head to look at me when he said this, raised the corners of his mouth and smiled.

"So you transferred directly to Dongshan City back then?" I understood that there was a lot of thought in her smile, but it did not cause a stir in my already indignant heart, and I was only anxious to know more.

"After your mother went to school and scolded me, my homeroom teacher found my parents, just in time for my father to hesitate to transfer to Dongshan, which directly contributed to my father's decision, and also contributed to my family's immediate decision to transfer to school.

"Although my parents did not beat or scold me, they ordered me to cut off all contact with you from now on. The next day, I was sent to my uncle's house in Dongshan, and I was soon enrolled in Dongshan No. 2 Senior High School. According to my father, no one except the school leader knew which city or school I transferred to, including my homeroom teacher. ”

"Then Huang Chunmei doesn't know?" I remembered that because Huang Chunmei didn't tell me where Jin Bei had transferred, I was jealous of her for a while.

"Of course she doesn't."

"Then I'm wrong about her."

Jin Bei raised her eyes and looked at me again, I thought she was trying to understand how I was wrong to blame Huang Chunmei, but she happened to meet my gaze.

Our eyes collided.

This time the eye stabbed me in the heart. I panicked and turned my eyes in the direction of Ding Yuchen, but at that moment, I didn't reflect the fact that Ding Yuchen was no longer there in my mind.

I'm just hiding from Kimbe's eyes, or rather, my own heart. After the first time Kimbe looked at me and smiled implicitly, my heart began to slowly reflex, and this time our eyes met, and no matter how much I tried to suppress the torrent of emotions that I was eager to squirt, I couldn't control my eyes. And I think Jinbei read my eyes, because I found that from this moment on, her low denomination was obviously red, and the process of presentation was not as calm as just now, and there was always a lag in her thinking.

The more she stuck, the more my heart thumped. Once again, I felt a big hand grip on my heart loosen and clench and go back and forth.

I struggled to control my impulses.

I wanted so much to take Jinbei over, hold her in my arms, look into her eyes, meet her gaze at the closest distance and as fast as possible, and then gently say sorry to her, tell her that I have been thinking about her all the time, without interruption, never.

It's been twelve years, and I've been missing Jinbei all the time, and she's so close to me right now. I don't believe in God, and I am constantly grateful that God actually sent Jinbei to me.

At this moment, I realized that some people are originally in the heart, and they are the kind that cannot be pulled out, maybe most of the time they are covered and not revealed, but once the time comes, they will definitely break through and grow crazy in the heart. Jinbei is the person who grew up in my heart, and I can't think of her much, because I have never forgotten it in my heart.

I must admit that I never forgot Kimbe.

I know this is unfair to Gao Jiangjiang, but feelings are really not something that anyone can control if they want to, and the only thing I can control is to be worthy of my wife Gao Jiangjiang in terms of behavior.

When my brain quickly sorted out the dialectical relationship between my thoughts and actions, I also reached a level of basic lucidity, which dominated me to weaken or even stop the impulses I had just had.

"So, Ding Yuchen seems to know something?" Only then did I come back to my senses and remember the fact that I had just seen that Ding Yuchen was no longer in the house, but I ignored it.

"I'm sorry, he does. On one occasion he invited me to dinner with his wife to comfort me, and I drank a lot of wine and talked to them a lot, including the reasons why I transferred from Qihe City to Dongshan to go to school that year. I don't blame you, after all, this is the reason why I had to mention this scumbag in my life. ”

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry, and I apologize to my mom for telling you! I hurt you, Kimbe! ”

I was finally able to take Jinbei's words and confess to her, and really shouted out the word "Jinbei" that had been hidden in my heart for many years, and looked into her eyes.

I called Kimbe several times in a row and said a lot of sorry. I couldn't help but want to stretch out my arms and hug her, but in an instant a voice came out of my head and grabbed me, and a ruthless reason prompted me to bury my head and shake my head and withdraw my hands, while clenching my hands into fists and slamming them on the table.

Kimbe was stunned by me and stopped talking. I think she should be able to understand that I really feel guilty of myself, if it wasn't for my mother going to school to make trouble, even if I might eventually marry Gao Jiangjiang, but at least Jinbei will not transfer schools, her family may not move, and there will be no later when she returns to Dongshan after graduating from college and meets Ding Jia.

Even though Kimbe was calm, I could still feel her resentment towards me. Although Jin Bei is an indifferent woman, I still think that peace is just a means for her to protect herself in desperation.

Anyone who does such a thing without breaking down and going crazy is against the common sense of human nature.

It can also be considered that she has come out of her grief and anger. In the most difficult days, Ding Yuchen has accompanied her all the way.

Looking at Jinbei after the tribulation, my heart ached like bleeding, I had committed too many sins against her, I was the one who ruined her life. So I have to make up for it, make up for the debt to Jinbei, and also make up for the guilt in my heart. However, in such a short period of time, I can't decide how to make amends, the proposition is too big. Making amends to her is not something that I can do with a few words of sorry, nor can I make any promises I have now.

At this moment, I became sensible, I have to straighten out my thinking, make a good plan, make overall arrangements, I need to make Jinbei's future life happy and beautiful, and I also need this beauty to be built on the basis of not hurting Gao Jiangjiang and all those who resisted Jinbei back then.

So, I swallowed back all the thoughts I had planned to tell Jinbei about for the past twelve years, and also hid the crazy behavior that had been searching for her all over the city. Compared with the humiliating experience that Jinbei has encountered, these words are pale when they are spoken, and even the deeper I confess these great loves, the more ironic and hurtful Jinbei becomes.

But this noon meeting convinced me that Jinbei had always had me in his heart.

This afternoon, I was also glad that I finally didn't stretch out my hand to hold Jinbei.

After saying a lot of sorry to Jinbei again, I got up and went out to call Ding Yuchen back. Ding Yuchen, who sat down again, said haha sentence by sentence, while persuading the wine and serving the dishes, the three of us tacitly understood each other, and finally turned the topic to my brother Song Dongli's matter.