Ding Yuchen brought Jinbei today, firstly, to create an opportunity for the two of us to meet, and it is indeed because Jinbei's cousin works in the public security system and can ask someone to take care of my brother.

In the afternoon, the three of us, under the leadership of Cousin Jinbei, came to Dongshan Erguan again, and after getting the reply that Song Dongli would take care of me, I needed to return to Qihe.

It was already past four o'clock in the afternoon, and it was getting dark.

There were no superfluous politenesses, just a simple goodbye.

Because we all know that I will continue to travel back and forth between these two places in the near future, for my brother, and possibly for Jinbei.

I drove the Jinbei car, which once pinned my feelings for Jinbei, and drove lonely on the dark road.

The gray road ahead flashed back quickly before my eyes, but what I saw was the eyes of Jinbei who looked up at me before parting.

It has become a reality that Kimber came to me.

Over the years, I have never had the confidence to boast of how innocent I am, I know very well how much emotional privacy I have buried in my heart, and I can continue to bear it endlessly without affecting my life with my wife, this may be the world of adults, not hypocrisy, more helplessness.

Along the way, I was in tears as I listened to the theme song of the Romanian movie "Boiling Life" playing on a loop in the car.

I don't remember how young I started to love this song for the first half of my life, and I'm not sure when I'll get tired of it.

When I was in junior high school, I would write and send letters, and I would watch them on the radio station's "Song on Demand" program, and I was ordered to listen to it myself.

When I got to high school, I ordered it on demand for the second time, and I ordered it to Jinbei.

After the letter was sent, we would listen to the show on time every day, for fear of missing it.

After listening to the premiere of Gymnastics that morning, I was so excited that I didn't have the heart to listen to the lecture all afternoon. Staying up until the replay time at 18:30 after dinner, the two of us made an appointment to skip self-study class, and ran to the woods on the hillside of the park near the school, I carried a small tape recorder used to listen to spoken English, and pulled Jinbei to laugh and run excitedly in the melody of "boiling life".

I didn't dare to reveal my name on the radio, and I tried my best to conceal our relationship by using the money from Kimbei's surname on the letter.

The evening breeze swept through the trees and blew our laughter, accompanied by the chirping of seagulls floating above the treetops.

I shouted to Kimbe, "This is the boiling life-"

Jinbei also looked at me happily and responded, "Know, boiling life!" ”

When the music was finished, we stopped running, turned off the radio, and in the evening in the woods, I couldn't help but hug Kimbe and kiss her.

Kimbe didn't break free.

After that, we really gave our hearts to each other. Although there was no chance to be intimate again after that.

The third time I was on demand, it was on the eve of graduating from college, and I ordered it to myself.

Stayed by the radio, listened to the song silently, and then pressed all the inner fluctuations tightly, and quietly continued to listen to the next program that others on-demanded.

At this time, I have learned to hide.

Actually, I didn't need to hear this piece on the radio at that time, I already had a cassette tape in my hand, and I could use it to play it on a loop at any time. The reason why I want to be on demand on the radio is because I think that if I want to start a family with Gao Jiangjiang after graduation, I need to give myself a souvenir one last time.

At that time, the clear purpose of my on-demand broadcast was to give myself a break, and from then on, I would finish the second half of my life with Gao Jiangjiang with peace of mind.

I thought that in this life, I would be separated from Jinbei forever. If I had known that Jinbei had been lingering in my heart, I would not have bothered to let the "boiling life" boil my heart again.

This melody has kept a corner of my heart boiling for years, and at the same time, I have kept the surface calm with my strong self-control.

At this moment after seeing Kimbe again after many years, when I listened to its melody again, I was no longer in control.

I cried while driving, and I wailed and cried uncontrollably.

I wasn't ashamed of my vulnerability.

I just felt uncomfortable, I just wanted to cry, and in this moment when there was no one else, I finally seized the opportunity to release the emotions that had been suppressed for many years.

The cry I shouted was not only the release of my old longing for Jinbei, but also the various complex emotions I had for everyone and everything since I was a child. This includes my father and mother, my mother-in-law, my brothers and sisters, my little ones, my colleagues and leaders, and my wife Gao Jiangjiang, etc., etc., etc.

I realized that my peaceful state of mind was actually based on the contradiction of suppressing the closeness and alienation of the people around me, approval and opposition, trust and fear, stubbornness and submission, calmness and guilt, forbearance and rejection, especially after entering the society, I was actually out of place, but I still accepted all the circumstances imposed on me by the outside world with the greatest patience.

It was at this moment that I suddenly realized that my life was different from the concept of "boiling" in the movie.