"When everyone could see the letter, I think most of my world would go gray.

There seem to be two mes, one faces the world with a smile, accepts growth, and accepts all unexpected encounters, and the other does not want to grow up and is afraid of growing up, although living in a colorful world, but his eyes are full of gray, and there is no future and no hope.

The memories of my childhood are already very vague, but there will still be a gray picture lingering in my mind, I don't want to be mentioned and dare not touch it, and I may not tell others about it. The gray memory was like a suspended movie, except that I hoped that no one would ever turn it on and let him stay there forever.

Everyone prides themselves on being kind, and I want to believe that everyone is kind, but reality and experience tell me that the world is not as beautiful as I imagined. Some people have said that I am kind, but who can understand the whole of me? I've also lied, deceived people, done wrong things, and all the scenes are in my mind, like movie shots, constantly replayed, and probably bad things will be so hard to remember.

I don't know when it began, I have become the person I was afraid of longing for now, growing up is not good at all, I have to be careful even to be happy, I have been pretending in front of others for a long time, and even I can't tell whether I am really happy or falsely happy. Growing up is constantly encountering and losing, but what I meet is no longer beautiful, and what I lose needs me to forget for the rest of my life, which seems unfair, but so what? I can't change it, there are some things I can't grasp.

Gathering and parting, everything is just right, but I am afraid of parting, afraid of being alone, afraid that you will leave me in this gloomy world, afraid that I will not be able to get out alone. But you have to go, you have to chase your own life, and I am like a lost child, unable to find the way in this gray world, and can no longer find the way from which I came.

In my dream, a ray of sunlight pierced through the gray barrier, I seemed to see hope, I tried to run towards it, I thought that if I ran faster, I would be able to catch it, but I ran for a long, long time, and it was still so far away from me, so I watched it get farther and farther away from me, until it disappeared, and when I woke up, everything was still the same.

I'm not a good person, I'm not a bad person, outside of the extremes of good and bad, I'm just an ordinary person, I don't have much ability, there are many things I can't solve. It would be nice if you could be a fool, don't care about anything, and live in your own world!

Growing up is that there are more and more things that you can know, and there are more and more things you can't do, and before you know it, your life has been made terrible by yourself. I saw a sentence: "Happy people use their childhood to heal their whole lives, and unhappy people use their lives to heal their childhood." "Not all the past will pass, not all the past can be used as a memory, the good one is called a memory, and the one that bleeds when touched is called a nightmare.

I looked up at the sky, it was gray, it might be a precursor to a storm, some people said, "Survive the wind and rain, and when the sun comes out, you can see the rainbow", but I used all my strength to survive the wind and rain, and there was no extra strength to support me to see the rainbow. ”