Xiao Xia, my mother used to think very highly of herself and was very argumentative.

My mother still remembers the last time I went to Germany on a business trip, and my mother argued with her about a lot of trivial matters about a lot of trivial things. When I think about it now, I'm still embarrassed.

It's so easy to argue to this extent, my mother feels that her pursuit of winning and affirmation is simply a bit perverted at the moment of the incident.

At this time, my mother worked hard to learn a lot of mood-related knowledge, and my mother wanted to try a calm and peaceful life. Treat different people's views with a more open attitude as much as possible.

I have to say that it is not easy to change the way of thinking.

Now, when the mood is anxious, the mother will first try to get herself out of the scene, become a bystander, from the perspective of others, look at herself and others involved in the event, and then use the identity of a bystander to say to herself, slow down, slow down, you see yourself, whether you are starting to use the original amygdala to manipulate your own behavior again. Then, my mother will imagine each other as cute animated characters, and cute the scene that she is bored with.

Both of these practices worked, but they didn't quite become the emotional magic that moms had at their fingertips. Occasionally, Mom will still reveal her true form and become a fighter.

The most serious of these is the mother's attitude and emotions towards her grandfather. There are many, many influencing factors, countless memories of the past, and quarrels that have occurred before, all of which make my mother feel like falling into the abyss as soon as she steps into it with one foot, and she screams non-stop, like a primitive beast that is uncontrollable.

Linking it with the current learning has made my mother's attitude towards my grandfather more harsh.

Because through new knowledge, logic and methodology not only expose the problem of the mother's way of thinking, but also the problem of the grandfather's way of thinking.

In fact, in the final analysis, mom and grandpa are the same type of people. As for self-change, their attitude is more stubborn than that of their mothers. This made my mother feel angry, as if she was facing a self who was unwilling to change.

When I turned around and looked back, I felt as if I was saddled with the task of reshaping two or three people. Three people, like two people, and like one person, but at the same time they are very different.

Mom observed herself, I have a lot of grandmother's behavior habits, and I also have a lot of grandfather's behavior habits. There are good parts, and the bad parts are also very prominent.

For example, my mother and grandmother are very childlike and very motivated. In the usual words, they are all high-spirited people. And this kind of personality at home can sometimes cause some problems.

As a pretentious type, you don't even need a clear reason to be smug. The idea is very simple, that is, I think I am good, I just feel that I am powerful, and I want to put forward a different point of view.

If this is just a little annoying, there is an even more fatal point of pretentiousness, which is that both mother and grandmother can hardly accept criticism from others.

When my mother is faced with criticism from others, she will do her best to quibble. At that time, I was even more excited than taking an exam. When my mother was in Germany, she treated her friends with this attitude.

And grandma is more arrogant in the face of criticism. If you say, I don't think it's good for you to do this, she'll just change the direction to the opposite direction and tell you that it's good to do that.

It's very confusing to have this kind of conversation. When Mom is in the middle of a similar discussion, there is a feeling that she is in the middle of a crazy game, and the rules and logic are all about changing.

Mom and grandpa are also very similar, they are easily emotional, and they are both pretentious players, and most of the ways to deal with criticism are to get angry and angry.

Even if you understand some of your own behavior patterns and shortcomings, it is difficult to change them. It's hard for my mother, who has the heart to change, and it's even more difficult for the older generation, like my grandfather, who have to do whatever they want now.

The inertia we are in is so strong, there is a genetic foundation, there are all historical events laid, every fulcrum, it is difficult to pull it out, to start over.

However, grandpa's influence on her mother should not be as far-reaching as her mother's influence on Xiaoxia.

Xiao Xia, you and I have very little time together, and your mother's influence on you may only exist in your blood and genes. You've spent the longest time with your grandma. Grandma is more like the role of a mother, and her influence on you will be directly projected in your heart as grandma's influence on your mother.

But with grandma here, mom is actually very relieved of you. Grandma is a very self-disciplined person, which may be a rare quality in their generation. And this must be your precious treasure.

As a family, my father is also quite a self-disciplined person in the eyes of my mother, and his life is very planned. If you can pass on the good qualities in them, Mom believes you will benefit greatly.

Mom and grandpa can't get along with you day and night, if you can share the philosophy of life with you through words, if such sharing will be beneficial to you, then mom in addition to the character shortcomings just mentioned, I hope you can take warning, there are also some good things that the family has accumulated in life, I hope these advantages will have a positive impact on you one day.

Mom's family is doing a good job, and the three of them have common strengths, that is, we don't care so much about other people's evaluations. It's not that I don't care at all, but compared to others, mom and grandpa are more inclined to live in their own logic.

My mother has lived in the eye of public opinion since she was very young, and her ability to settle down is that she doesn't care so much about what others say about herself. With the blessing of grandparents and grandfathers, my mother has further consolidated her central values.

As long as we don't overdo it, in fact, self-centeredness will allow us to concentrate better and have no distractions.

And the next point is a more important advantage, that is, your mother and grandpa love you very much. We want you to get the best education and we want you to be happy.

One of the reasons Mom wanted you to stay with Mom was that Grandma was one of the best women Mom had ever seen, and in many cases, even more than Mom herself. If you could be with your grandmother as a child, your mother would believe that you had followed the best teacher you could find.

But it's never that your mother doesn't love you, or your grandpa doesn't love you. Xiao Xia, you must know that this level of giving up is actually no different from cutting off the flesh and blood, my mother has come to this point, there are my mother's own factors, there are some circumstances that are compelling, but there are also some choices that my mother makes for you within the scope of possibility.

If we are still a group of desirable relatives, then our love for you is our irreplaceable merit.

Xiao Xia, this love, I hope you can feel it and believe in its existence.