Chapter 620: Self-blame
Jian Shuyi heard Xiao Shengyuan's shout from afar, he just paused, and still swam towards the depths of the sea without hesitation, she was very moved when she heard Xiao Shengyuan's words, and she also wanted to stay and continue to be with him, but now the practical problem is in front of her, if she stays, it means that she has to give up Du Yan, give up her only sister, she only has this only sister, he is also the only relative she has found at present, and she is finally reunited with him, How could this possibly let him kill her for his own reasons, so no matter what, he had to protect his only sister, and he should also shoulder the burden of being his sister, so even if he heard the words he shouted at him, even if he couldn't bear it anymore, he gritted his teeth and swam in the opposite direction of them.
Xiao Sheng saw that Jian Shuyi heard his words, paused, and knew that what he had just said really made him hesitate, so he shouted behind him again.
"Shu Yi, come back quickly, you believe me, I can save all your sisters ashore, don't leave me, don't leave me here alone!"
Xiao Shengyuan's voice was full of pain and panic, he was afraid that Jian Shuyi was really going to leave him behind this time, his heart was full of worry, and even the tone of his voice was a little begging, he begged for someone in such a low voice for the first time, but even if he did this, it didn't make her change her mind, Jian Shuyi couldn't help but shed tears when she heard Xiao Shengyuan's words, she didn't believe him, but she didn't want her to be in this danger, it was already good that he could save Du Yan ashore, if he let him save himself again, Then I am afraid that both myself and him will be in danger, and I don't want anyone to be implicated for my own reasons, so whether it is Du Yan or Xiao Shengyuan, one of the two of them, he doesn't want to see them hurt in any way, so while shedding tears, he gritted his teeth and swam in the opposite direction, ignoring Xiao Shengyuan's shouting behind him.
And looking at Jian Shuyi, who was getting farther and farther away from him, Xiao Shengyuan felt very desperate in his heart, he didn't know what he was thinking at this time, but he could guess the only thought in Jian Shuyi's heart, that is, he hoped that he could save Du Yan ashore, and he would definitely take all the responsibility for this matter on himself, because after all, Xiao Qingfeng kidnapped Du Yan this time to lure him out, if Du Yan was not his sister, he probably wouldn't have anything to do with Xiao Qingfeng.
So Xiao Shengyuan can guess the self-blame and guilt in Jian Shuyi's heart now, and it is precisely because of this that he felt very distressed when he saw his back farther and farther away from him, obviously all these things happened, and in his eyes it was none of his business, but he just wanted to take all the responsibility for these things on him alone, and he would bear all the consequences, looking at Jian Shuyi's reckless appearance, Xiao Shengyuan was very distressed, but now in such a situation, Xiao Shengyuan not only felt sorry for him, but also hated himself, It's useless to hate yourself.
If he could have found it in time and arrived in time, then he would not have fallen to such a point now, and Jian Shuyi would not have encountered such danger, all of which was blamed for his inability to protect her, thinking of his previous promises, he instantly felt 10 points of self-blame and guilt in his heart, if he could be a little stronger, Jian Shuyi would not have encountered these dangers, let alone be threatened by Xiao Qingfeng, the more Xiao Shengyuan thought about it, the more sad he became.
If it weren't for Du Yan still in Xiao Shengyuan's hands, he would probably swim towards the depths of the sea with Jian Shuyi, if he wanted to die, then he would die with him, if she was alive, then he would live with her, if there was no him in this world, it would not be interesting to live alone, so looking at Jian Shuyi's back swimming in the opposite direction, it had slowly disappeared, and Xiao Shengyuan could no longer see him.
The whole time Jian Shuyi left, he stared at him very sadly and angrily, watching him get farther and farther away from him, he wanted to leave Du Yan in his arms many times and rush to save him, but thinking that the reason why Jian Shuyi swam in his direction so without hesitation was that he hoped that he could save Du Yan, if he threw Du Yan down to save him, he would not follow him, he swam in this direction this time completely with the determination to die, he would rather die himself than let Du Yan live, Although Xiao Shengyuan felt 10 points of grief and dissatisfaction with his decision, there was no way, because he really couldn't think of any way to stop her now, even if he really threw him down to save him, he probably wouldn't live alone in the world, even if he lived in the world, he lived in self-blame and guilt every day, which was simply worse than death for him, and it was more painful than death.
At this time, Du Yan, who was pretending to be dizzy in Xiao Shengyuan's arms, obviously felt the depression around him now, he knew that it was not good for him to do this, but in order to get Xiao Shengyuan, even if he sacrificed Jian Shuyi, he would not give up this great opportunity, as long as he could successfully drag him down this time, then he would successfully break up him and Jian Shuyi, and he would belong to himself alone in this life, thinking of this, the little guilt he had for Jian Shuyi in his heart disappeared.
Du Yan, who was pretending to be dizzy, still had some self-blame and guilt in her heart when she learned that Jian Shuyi was swimming in the opposite direction in order to save herself, especially when she heard Xiao Shengyuan shouting at Jian Shuyi, he didn't know that he had the idea of abandoning himself after fainting, but when he heard the two sentences that Xiao Shengyuan shouted at Jian Shuyi, he knew that Xiao Shengyuan wanted to abandon himself, and Jian Shuyi resolutely swam in the opposite direction in order to put an end to his idea of abandonment.
Jian Shuyi swam in the opposite direction at this time, nothing more than swimming towards the depths of the sea, his behavior was nothing more than suicide, Du Yan's heart was full of guilt and self-blame for him after learning that Jian Shuyi did this, because if he didn't pretend to be dizzy, he would not have done such an act, before he didn't faint, he still struggled to swim to the shore, but after he pretended to be unconscious, he should give up this hope for 1 life and give Xiao Shengyuan to himself.
So Du Yan felt very guilty in his heart, and he also felt deep self-blame, and he also thought about whether to wake up and tell Xiao Shengyuan the truth, but suddenly thought that as long as Jian Shuyi died Xiao Shengyuan would be able to return to himself, he could regain the happiness he had with him before, and he could also live a happy life like Jian Shuyi, In such a situation, he can still have life, so this time he is sure to die, thinking of this, Du Yan is still a little excited.
But even if Du Yan's emotions in her heart changed too quickly, she could only hide it in her heart and didn't dare to show it, just when Jian Shuyi swam in the opposite direction, Du Yan closed her eyes and pretended to be dizzy, she didn't dare to open her eyes, she didn't dare to move, she was afraid of arousing Xiao Shengyuan's suspicions, so that she found out that she was pretending to be dizzy, he would definitely throw himself down without hesitation to save Jian Shuyi, because after all, he had already moved the idea of abandoning himself when he fainted, let alone when he didn't faint, So now he can only close his eyes and dare not open them, nor dare to move, pretending to be dizzy.
And Xiao Shengyuan watched Jian Shuyi disappear into the sea, since she swam in the opposite direction, Xiao Shengyuan has been staring at his back with very sad and angry eyes, thinking about the reason why he did this, but he didn't dare to throw Du Yan in his hand aside, and there was no way to chase him alone, so he could only hold Du Yan and stay in place and watch him get farther and farther away from him, Xiao Shengyuan still had a glimmer of hope in his heart, hoping that Jian Shuyi could listen to his words and come back.
But seeing that he shouted those two words to Jian Shuyi, he just paused a little when he heard his first words, but in just a few seconds, he did not hesitate to swim in the opposite direction, he knew that Jian Shuyi had made up his mind this time, he not only abandoned his family but also abandoned himself, he abandoned everything to save Du Yan, and he gave up himself for this sister who was only related by blood.
But Xiao Shengyuan couldn't bear to blame her, and he didn't dare to hate him, he only hated himself for hating why he was so incompetent, if he was a little stronger, none of this would happen, Xiao Qingfeng would not have kidnapped Du Yan, and it would not have happened that Jian Yina pushed Du Yan into the sea, so that he would not have to jump into the sea to save Du Yan, and he would not face such a danger, so he was not qualified to blame others for all this, he could only blame himself for being too weak, if he could be a little stronger, None of this may happen, so Xiao Shengyuan blamed everything that happened to himself, and his heart was full of self-blame for Jian Shuyi.
Looking at Jian Shuyi, who had disappeared in front of his eyes, the only hope in Xiao Shengyuan's heart was also shattered, looking at the direction of its disappearance very desperately, at the moment when he saw him disappear, the emotions he had been holding back in his heart should finally explode, his tears flowed out instantly, but he didn't shout, but just cried silently, crying very depressed, looking at him with the determination to die this time, Xiao Shengyuan also wanted to leave with Jian Shuyi.