The next morning, after my father was asleep, I took out my paper and pen and sat down at the bedside table.

I was just about to write an appointment, but I found that Mr. Lin on the other side kept glancing at me.

I understood that it was the balcony that told me to go outside the ward.

What to do on the balcony?

Have we reached the point where we are so familiar?

Somehow, a restless little drum suddenly beat in my heart.

As if an invisible force was mysteriously dragging me, I stood up and walked to the balcony.

When Mr. Lin's hand was on my shoulder, when his gaze enveloped me, when the light of his smile suddenly shot at me, I felt a tremor, a warmth, a sweetness, a bitterness, like a flock of birds swooping into the arms of their loved ones, like a lonely traveler who can finally lie in the oasis of his dreams after a long journey!

Is he my father, my biological father? Could it be that there is such a coincidence in the world?!

Was Heaven moved by my prayers over and over again to give me a biological Father?

Joy and happiness immediately permeate every cell of the body.

However, my sensitive nerves instantly plunged me from the peak of excitement into the abyss of sorrow.

Could it be that blood relations can have such a great magic power, and in a moment they can overcome decades of affectionate nurturing grace?

What's more, where is this man in front of me, when I need help the most, when I need care the most, when I need guidance the most? Didn't he abandon me early? What reason do I have to feel so happy that I feel joyful or even excited?!

What is disappointment? What is torment? What is pity? What is pain?

Everything is coming to me in a frenzy at this moment.

I wanted to open my mouth to say something to him, but the bank of reason locked the turbulent waves of feelings.

I resisted the storm in my heart and said nothing, only a trace of desolation and indifference on my face.

Mr. Lin patted me heavily on the back, with a concerned smile on his face: "Why don't you speak?" Do you have any thoughts? ”

I didn't answer him, but just turned my gaze to the tall buildings in the distance and said to myself.

"Maybe you got to know me a lot the other two days while chatting with my brother and sister. I was born in 68 and lost my mother when I was 9 years old, and it was my father who worked hard to provide for me to go to college and help me marry and have children at all costs. ”

"I know he's not my biological father, but I've made him my biological father."

"When I was in high school, I swore that I could sacrifice everything to raise my father. Tao Yuanming's poem, how well it says: Life has no roots, floating like a stranger to the dust. Scattered and wind-by-wind, this is not the case. Landing as brothers, why bother with flesh and blood. If the golden year does not come again, it will be difficult to regain the morning in one day. Be encouraged in time, and the years will not treat others. ”

Still smiling, Mr. Lin then asked me, "Are you willing to teach in the countryside and don't want to be transferred to the city?" ”

I looked up at the floating clouds in the sky, far away from me, and seemed very close.

was originally going to be a calm narrative, but it became a vent of resentment in the chest.

"At first, I was reluctant, but then I fell in love with the school children and gave up the opportunity to go to the city again and again."

"Actually, what I want to do most is to be a journalist, or a secretary or something. Maybe I won't be able to fulfill my wish in this life, because I don't have any background. When I graduated from university, I could have stayed on to teach, but unfortunately, a classmate who had an uncle as the deputy mayor stayed at the school. ”

"Hehe, not long ago, I had the opportunity to be promoted to be the vice principal, but I was preempted by a teacher who had an uncle as the deputy head of the township. Not only that, but the probationary party members who are about to be approved are also for some reason, which makes people pick it up all at once. ”

"If I really have a background, I will definitely not use other people's autumn winds to raise my voice!"

"I am the greatest shame of all! I hate this kind of person even more! ”

As I said this, I glanced at the man from time to time out of the corner of my eye.

I noticed that as I recounted, his face changed several times, and then he returned to normalcy like lightning.

A faint smile bloomed on his face again, and he asked me enthusiastically, "What have you written in the past two days?" ”

I looked into the distance, in fact, I didn't see anything, I was just making a show: "During the award ceremony of the 'Red Candle Cup' Teaching Paper Contest for Young and Middle-aged Teachers held in the provincial capital in May this year, the editor-in-chief of the magazine "Junior High School Students' Garden" had a good impression of me who won the first prize, and invited me to write a group of articles for the journal to guide students' Chinese text learning. That's what I've been writing about these two days. ”

He patted me on the back again, and I could feel his joy and excitement: "Yes, yes. Doesn't it seem like that's what you're good at? ”

People love the sunshine of praise.

At this moment, I want to use my excellence to prove the excellence of my father who has nurtured me for more than 20 years.

Subconsciously, why didn't I have such a plan? Maybe your abandonment is creating an excellent son.

I just want you to regret it, I just want to make you sad, I just want to make you feel guilty about the choice you made at that time.

Subconsciously, I want to use this to amplify this man's indifference.

So, I recounted it like a few treasures.

Of course, I am definitely not the kind of lonely self-admiration and pride: "In fact, it can't be said to be a specialty, but I have published a few essays and a few poems, and a few articles have won the first prize in the country, the first prize in the singing competition, and this year I participated in the city's Chinese teaching expert competition and won the first prize." ”

"Hehe, he's a genius." He couldn't help but admire, and I could hear his heartfelt pleasure, "The revolution has not yet succeeded, and my friends still need to work hard!" ”

He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the shouting of his wife in the hospital room.

This short conversation on the balcony came to a natural end, but I felt a sense of loss in my heart.

At about four o'clock in the afternoon, Mr. Lin discussed with me on the side: "Xiao Chu, the hospital bathroom opens at half past four, let's go take a shower with me, is it okay?" ”

Why did you ask me to take a bath? Is it an in-depth observation of me to prove something more important? Wouldn't I need a similar corroboration?

I didn't hesitate at all, and naturally agreed: "Okay, if I don't wash it today, I'll soon become a mobile toilet." ”

After tidying up my clothes and pants, taking the bath necessities, and saying hello to my father, Mr. Lin and I went to take a bath.

On the way to the bathroom, Mr. Lin said that he wanted to find his brother-in-law to get shower gel, so he turned a small road and walked into the construction site of the hospital. His brother-in-law was sitting in a simple house at work, and when he saw us going, he hurried out and seemed very happy, and even more so surprised.

He poured each of us a glass of pure water, and after chatting for a while, I followed Mr. Lin to the bathroom.

When he went to the ticket window in the bathroom, he went to buy a ticket, and because he came early, it was the two of us who bought the ticket.

He took the ticket and turned around and said with a smile, "Count me in for a treat." ”

I also smiled: "I'll come tomorrow." ”

Walking into the bathroom, we began to undress neatly.

I focused on the empty space on the other side, not wanting him to notice that I was paying attention to him, pretending to know nothing.

His question came from beside him: "Xiao Chu, do you like sports?" ”

I wanted to turn my head to look at him as he undressed, but I still kept my composure, took off my underwear, picked up the soap, and walked into the bathroom without looking back: "I like it." I like to play badminton, and since high school, I have been running almost every day. What about you? ”

He was standing under the faucet because I heard the water from the faucet squirting on the ground.

Does he also like showers?

Before I had time to think about it, his deep voice hit my ear drum: "I also like sports." No matter how busy you are at work, you will find some time to exercise almost every day. ”

I turned on the faucet, and the warm water rushed all over my body, as if thousands of slender fingers were massaging my skin.

While enjoying the pleasure it gave me, I glanced at his side, consciously or unconsciously, who was rubbing his hair with his head down and his eyes closed, smearing shampoo on his head, and rubbing his hair with his hands constantly.

Looking at it, I couldn't help but be stunned, the body in front of me seemed familiar, could it be me?

With long limbs, a thin waist and broad shoulders, and a high chest, it seems that all the muscles in the body are stiff, making people feel as if they are immersed in dreams or myths. I turned my head sideways to see a thick layer of hair distributed on his well-proportioned legs, and as he tightened and loosened his force, the muscle lines on his legs were also clear and smooth, and the water droplets on his body merged into small streams and flowed down the muscle grooves......

"What are you thinking?"

His kind and gentle questioning woke me up from my meditation.

I realized that he had turned his head and was looking at me with a smile on his face.

I came to my senses in an instant, and modified my voice to be calm and calm, with an indifferent smile on my face: "I was thinking, what kind of work are you doing?" ”

"What do you think I'm doing?" His big eyes showed a childlike cunning, but there was no lack of that kind of mature, tenacious and trustworthy thick texture, reflecting a unique charm of an oriental man, and a very special look on his face that was unpredictable.

Staring at his toned body, I looked domineeringly from top to bottom, from left to right, and deliberately replied with a wicked smile: "I see, you are most likely a swimmer, aren't you?" ”

"Really?" He showed the kind of clear and wise eyes that seemed to be able to see through the hearts of others, as well as the kind of noble but not domineering, humble but not kitsch and sleek temperament, "Then you should be a strong swimmer!" By the way, do you like swimming? ”

I didn't expect him to answer along with me.

However, his questioning reminded me of a long past.

Do I like swimming?

His questioning reminded me of the summer vacation when I was in the third grade of elementary school.