March 18, 19
Now the sun is shining and the breeze is warm. I was sitting on a big rock in the small park in front of the Santa Monica City Hall. Flocks of seagulls hovered in the blue sky over the white buildings. I just ate lobster with a friend from afar, and I'm going to eat Sichuan food. I also bought clothes, which I have bought once since I came to California.
My heart was broken.
Things are going well. I like the actors I have gotten. The permits are all done. The costumes have been completed, the props are basically bought, the crew has more people than I need, the money is spent less than I expected, and the camera crew is easy to talk to.
But I feel like I've done more wrong things in those two months than I've done in my life combined.
And I had no idea what kind of problems could go wrong on the spot.
Why should social fear be filmed? I feel like I'm having a heart attack. I felt pain in my chest when I was breathing.
If I'm still alive next weekend, I'll come and report my safety
——
0319
It's going to be filmed on Friday, and there are still a bunch of details to be done.
Can't sleep.
Sit on the side of the foggy road and wait for the school bus.
The fountain behind my head rattled and rattled.
My heart was broken.
As a result, the script has to be handed in. I rushed fifteen pages in one go last night and made up a story about a heroine who was tricked into brainwashing a child by a black clinic. At the end, the heroine falls out of the black tunnel, falls to the ground, and crawls forward while vomiting, covered in vomit and her daughter's brains.
I thought to myself, this is really a reflection of me at the moment.
It's a long life.
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