All peers have to bear, Mao Mao is no exception, a piece of not falling in the endure, for a long time, more experience, there is no love to talk and laugh as before, more silence, junior high school, high school, until now......

Going back to my own design, it seems that I have nothing to do with this story, but if there is really no point, why am I so clear about everything? Because I have to admit that I am the little girl I used to be, and I am Xiao Maomao......

At this time, I was standing on the edge of the rooftop of a high-rise building, and I could see one high-rise building after another.

From the first day I entered the city to the present, I can never forget every face that was shrouded in anxiety in the crowd, I can't forget the people who have been depressed for a long time and have nowhere to vent and run in tears, this unfathomable city, but after all, it is a dream that I can't touch when I was a child, a place where I can do everything I can to step into one day, whenever someone mentions the city, I will imagine a scene in my mind: the sky is blue, the tall buildings are towering, the streets are clean, the roads are full of cars and bustling people, Shopping malls are full of goods, unlike the smoky grocery markets of town......

But when the day comes when the dream comes true, I find that the fantasy of the material-rich urban area is not so simple, and enough "material" is real.

I heard that when people are facing death, a moment of fear of death will arouse past memories, each frame clearly makes people immersed in the scene again, when the memories end is the moment of the final choice of life and death, for people who are completely desperate, those memories will become the last sharp weapon when life comes to an end, invisibly poking into the heart, stirring the pain that the memories bring deep into the bone marrow, a fatal knife, making people choose to end this long-struggling life without nostalgia.

And I am facing a choice at this moment, I am only 0.01 meters away from death, I only need to take a slow step, and the next thing is the people of the other world. I sometimes stretched out my hand to touch the sky above my head, but what I clenched my fist captured was the ethereal dust in the air, I sat down cautiously for the time being, frequently waved my legs and closed my eyes, and calmed down to verify whether there were any memories in my mind, and instantly I felt that the air around me was quiet, isolated from the hustle and bustle of the city, and I was taken back to the town where I lived as a child......

K town is 100 kilometers away from the city, probably due to the living environment, and the most common sentence from the time I remember to graduate from primary school is: "Only by studying hard can we change our destiny and have a better life in the future."

Although my mother's greatest hope is that I can grow up carefree and healthy, from time to time she will caress my face, rub my hair and say, "If one day my family is out of town, I can go to the city to see."

At first, I didn't know why, just listened, but then as I grew up, more and more people around me chose to go to the city to work, I still remember the neighbor's family went to the city to work a few uncles, every time I went home, I couldn't help but praise a few words, and most of the praise is how good the city is, how many job opportunities, and often take out a few fresh items from the bag I brought back, the most impressive is the beautifully packaged imported candy.

Because when I was a child, I was very pleasant, my uncle would give me a few more every time, on each colorful candy paper, the pattern was almost different, and the accumulation of candy paper became a popular collective hobby among the children, as long as someone came back from the city, the children in the neighborhood rushed over like a swarm, and he must be surrounded by a group, only when he got the candy was willing to let him go contentedly, everyone immediately put it into their pockets after getting the candy, for fear that they would lose one and be picked up by others. During the homework period, from time to time to pull out a small slit in the pocket to peek at the candy, this kind of behavior is not like avoiding parents, but like being afraid that the candy will disappear out of thin air, but also selectively take out a gently peeled off, the candy is sweet in the mouth, and then squint and shake his head with joy, and then carefully unfold the candy paper, smooth the folds, and sandwich it in the book, this series of actions has gradually become the standard action after every child has eaten sugar.

During that time, in front of the house and behind the house, you would often see a group of people sitting together in pairs exchanging and admiring each other's collection of candy wrappers, when the wind blows, it will bring a slight fruity fragrance, and the wind is sweet.

With the passage of time, we are running and growing up in the four seasons, in order to catch up with the pace of the times, everyone's thinking continues to progress, more people in the town yearn to live in the city, and there are already families who have moved into the city as they wish, improving their living standards, and the good friends who grew up together went to live in the city, they lost contact, maybe they want to completely welcome a new beginning!

Everything came as scheduled, and some of them dissipated as scheduled, we always experienced various encounters in the years, and we had to slowly run in with each other after the encounter, some chose to stay, some chose to be indefinite, saying goodbye means never to see each other again, and the last scattered memories were also wiped away, unless someone mentioned it, it was like amnesia, and it would not be deliberately pieced together in the mind that was key to them, and even inadvertently turned to the only remaining photo, everyone's face felt very familiar, I can't name them anymore, and the familiarity alone only means that they have appeared in my memory.

Perhaps some of the people and events in the experience are suitable for the past, because there is no need to be a participant every time, after all, it takes a lot of courage to witness the whole process of being a person and a person. But even if I tell myself not to pay too much attention to it, the facts always prove to me that the older I get, the more troublesome I get.

As the days passed, the surrounding housing area glass windows with big words for sale can be seen everywhere, I moved away several in the unit building one after another, and then moved in are the elderly, and some middle-aged people who have lived here for decades, their children who are concerned day and night have also become families in the urban area, and say that they can be self-sufficient in food, clothing, housing and transportation, and in order to reduce the burden on their children, they choose to be content with the status quo, in addition to the children of my age There are few left, We have never seen crazy dusty people in front of and behind the building, life has become monotonous and boring, and the only thing we can use to pass the time after finishing our homework every day is the cartoons that have been broadcast on TV.

As the grade level went up, the pressure of studying increased, and watching the familiar neighbors move away one by one, my parents began to talk more about "studying hard to change their lives".

Over time, in order not to affect my studies, the TV has become an idle item at home, and instead of approaching me, it is the learning materials and different degrees of practice problems that are under the signboards of various famous schools, so the opportunity to watch TV has become one of the luxury rewards for me, and even when my parents are not at home at work, I will secretly turn it on, turn down the volume, and turn it off when my parents get off work. It wasn't until I heard the sound of the key opening the door that I immediately turned off the TV with lightning speed, and then pretended to study.

There were a few times when this trick was smashed, because the fire was burning in the house "puff puff" was too loud to be heard by the father outside the door, after opening the door asked me what I was doing in the house, I couldn't answer again, and then he went into the house and touched the TV with his hand, the top was hot, so it exposed the fact that I had watched TV, but after a long time, I will learn from the experience of failure, and use various means to achieve the purpose of both safe and able to watch my favorite series, and after repeated times, I found that I had counter-reconnaissance, Agility and other skills, so that my grades were able to keep me in the middle of the class, and even if my parents sometimes found out about my schemes, they would turn a blind eye to let me get by.

After graduating from elementary school, my parents decided to sell their old house and settle down in the city, so that I could get a better education. When I graduated, my parents arranged for a school to take the junior high school exam, and my grades were not top-notch, but I didn't live up to my expectations and got the admission place, so the family celebrated.

Parents with the sale of the old house licked some savings in the city to buy a small two-bedroom house, after a simple renovation we settled down, my father applied for a change of work, because the work is often recognized by the boss, so the successful transfer from the town branch to the main factory in the city, the salary has risen but the workload has indeed increased, my father said that the previous savings in addition to buying a house to fill in, there is still a part of the remaining part plus my grandmother's death after the inheritance is enough to pay for my junior high school tuition for three years, The monthly salary is enough to support my life, and he also said that junior high school is a stage of promotion and an important turning point, and hopes that when he is busy with work, my mother can take care of me all the time, and my mother quit my previous job directly at the instigation of my father, and they also agreed that after I go to high school, my mother can find a job.

There was no pile of homework during the first summer vacation when I moved into the city, I had nothing to do except for the need to go to junior high school bridging classes, everything around me was still a little strange, I didn't know any friends, and the neighbors here didn't often go from house to house chatting like in the town, and they didn't talk even when they met, so that they were more like strangers than strangers, and when I was in the town, I often heard that distant relatives were not as good as close neighbors, and the neighbors were also very close, and here the house may just be used for living in their own homes. My mother took care of my life carefully every day, and my father worked overtime more and more frequently due to work, and I slept when I got home every day, and when I woke up the next day, he went to work again, but every morning I would find some imported sweets on the bedside table that I had eaten before, but a few of them were always out of shape, and the wrapping paper was sticky.