The pale orange sky of the warm season is accompanied by clouds like sheep, reflecting warm yellow light. Qinglu'er looked at the fish tank in the distance of the tea hall under the warm yellow light, the fish in the fish tank slowly swam through the long algae, everything seemed very quiet, she turned her head slightly to look at the white tiles on the side wall arranged in an orderly manner, her expression was a little confused, thinking of the figure of Chengxi leaving just now, her heart immediately hit a burst of loneliness. She thought to herself, "Is this the way it is?" Oh, yes! That's how it passed. ”

Half a year after graduating from adult school, Qinglu'er sat in the tea hall of the bookstore in W City. Listening to Chengxi make a final farewell, several years of emotional management were all in vain at this moment.

She looked back at the conversation they had just had, trying to see the entanglements of right and wrong in the past. Clearing the fog and fog again, there is still an inlet around the inlet. After all, it was difficult for her to find out how they had come to this point.

"Anyway, let's make a wrap-up." Just now, Cheng Xi looked at Qing Lu'er opposite and spoke. Although he was a little hesitant in his heart, he had to put aside these troubles after all to put an end to this relationship.

"Good! Can you ......" Qing Lu'er's tears accumulated in her eyes, and after answering Cheng Xi's words, she seemed to be unable to say anything anymore. They have also experienced the separation and integration between lovers, but this time it is not so child's play. After they make a decision, Chengxi is about to travel far to the "opposite clan", which is irretrievable, difficult to grind and procrastinate, and break the thread.

Qingluer and Chengxi have been in love for more than three years. They had a lot of disagreements over many things, but they still loved each other. Or they never thought that one day their love would come to this point without a turnaround,

Qingluer recalled their latest difference of opinion, when Cheng Xi had just gotten the opportunity to be an "intern" at a large institution "on the right family" under the recommendation of his classmates, and he was also very fond of this opportunity.

"I missed the admission to the "YUYU" school because I was young and ignorant, so that after graduating from adult school, I suffered a lot because of my academic qualifications. Now even many of my high school classmates think I'm a fool, a loser in life. I don't want to miss out on this time, this job opportunity is really important to me. It was a turning point in my whole life, you know? How much I value this opportunity! ”

"I know, then we're already engaged, when will we be able to get married?"

"Marriage can be postponed a little longer! Qinglu'er, listen to me, wait for me to come back from the 'right clan'. It will definitely give you a happy marriage. ”

"Or, I can go with you to the 'right clan'."

"This ...... You have to apply for a pass card for the right clan, which is very troublesome. Besides, your current job is the best job your sister has ever found for you. I haven't stood firm yet, and if you go with me, suffer a lot, and don't see the results, I don't want to see it. ”

"I don't care about any of this, it doesn't matter, I just want us to be together."

"These thoughts of yours are good! I know it too! I want to be together, too! But the best thing to do now is for both of us to compromise. You wait at home now, wait for my reply, I'll go over and see the situation first. Think twice about everything, okay! ”

"Okay...... Listen to your ....... ”

Qinglu'er didn't know that it was because of this work incident that their differences slowly increased.

Or is it because their communication style and way of doing things are inherently problematic, so that the long-term accumulation makes their ideas slowly no longer consistent, and the distance and direction they choose are not in line.

Until the last time, when they had a disagreement again, Song Chengxi said a sentence, which became the last straw that broke the camel's back: "Or we shouldn't have started in the first place, do you remember Cheng Yifeng?" At that time, Shixian worked in a detective agency, and he was hired, and the person who hired Shixian wanted to discredit Cheng Yifeng and completely ruined his future. Shixian deliberately squatted at Cheng Yifeng's house to shoot that video, and Shixian was ready to wait for everything to happen before using the recorded video as evidence. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I rushed out and saved you.

I know all of this, I just haven't said it. I've even considered whether I like you because I feel guilty about hiding what I'm doing, or if your presence makes me more glamorous. I didn't want to load this relationship with too many complicated human flaws, just when we first met when you cheered me on. I later realized that neither of us had ever been honest in the beginning, and we had not tried to face and solve the deepest and most complex selfishness and loneliness of human nature. Our emotions cannot always be pure and clean, as they were when we first met, they do not always develop in the way we imagined, but they come to an end in a direction that we do not want. ”

After hearing Cheng Xi's words that time, Qing Lu'er was a little dumbfounded. Her eyes were sparkling, and they had always talked about everything. But they also have to face the escape and alienation in their feelings.

Qinglu'er didn't have much hatred for what Ling Shixian did. She didn't resent Chengxi for hiding this matter at the beginning. She gradually came to her senses later, it turned out that as Chengxi said, from the beginning of their relationship to the point where it is irreparable, they always choose to deliberately avoid many tricky things in their relationship. Many times they don't come to a consensus because they are honest with each other and face differences. But it is to reach consensus and avoid differences, rather than choosing to be honest with each other.

Since this relationship came to an end, Chengxi traveled far away to "pair the clan".

As they say, they are always deliberately avoiding many things. Song Song, Chengxi was avoiding Qinglu'er, and he later blocked Qinglu'er on the chat software. As time passed, Qinglu'er also began to learn to face many things alone. There are many things that she doesn't want to disclose to her former lover, so she also chose to block Song Chengxi. In order not to interfere with each other, Qingluer is also avoiding Song and Chengxi.

For a long, long time, Qinglu'er was more or less sad for this inexhaustible relationship, and she couldn't forget Song Chengxi, and she couldn't erase it. Or two people who are strangers will have the same emotion! Then one day, she suddenly saw Cheng Xi post a text on social software, with a few pictures of a girl at the end of the text. The text goes like this: "I can't forget it, I can't erase it, but I chose a different path after all, forget it!" Always learn to start over! ”

Qingluer later learned from Ling Shixian's mouth that Song Chengxi had also had three or four girlfriends one after another in the "right clan", and finally he and a girl with a personality somewhat like Qingluer were preparing to get married.

Qingluer later saw a message in Song Chengxi's account that did not block her, with a wedding photo of Song Chengxi and a girl. This wedding photo is also accompanied by a text:

"I used to deceive myself,

Pretend not to care, pretend to be free.

In fact, I subconsciously try to find it,

Find an emotion.

But always when that step is taken,

I feel all kinds of barriers and hesitations.

I don't know if you're like that,

Or when we're all looking for a way to the past,

I feel that the past is difficult to recover,

Even if it is recovered, it will not be recovered.

I'm sorry for the hurt that once hurt you,

I'm sorry for those times when we loved each other and didn't know how to cherish them.

Now that I've come out,

I think you've come out too.

I wish you happiness in my lifetime,

Take care of each other's lives,

Don't read, don't hang.

At that time, when she learned the news of Chengxi's marriage, Qinglu'er didn't have too strong waves in her heart, maybe time has diluted many things, or maybe it was a new emotion that began to sprout in Qingluer's life at that time, diluting Qingluer's nostalgia! As Chengxi said, they will eventually get out of the influence of their past lives and find their own happiness.