Since there are no ifs, no matter how bad our lives are, we still have to hold on. After a hurried meal, I returned to the department, because today I have to find time to continue writing the novel, and strive to complete the 30,000-word contract with the website.

Today is probably Monday's sake, there are so many patients that I didn't get the slightest free time all morning. The only thing that makes me happy is that the southeast grid that has been set for half a month has finally risen to 8 yuan, which makes me see the hope of unraveling. Today's stock market has risen sharply as I judged last Friday, and a huge positive candlestick has swept away the previous haze, and my mood is much better, after all, the stock market should be an important reason for whether we can turn around.

At noon, I bought two vegetarian dishes and went to Zhang Lin's office, and as soon as I entered the door, she asked me, "Can someone call and ask for money?" Uncle Xiaole can tell you about the oil? "No, the morning is busy, and maybe the debtors are busy. I don't know what's going on I'm so dizzy today, I'm going to sleep at noon. "You don't have a cold too, do you?" Zhang Lin was worried that he would infect me with a cold. "No, maybe I didn't sleep well." After the meal we went our separate ways. Maybe it was because I didn't sleep well last night, but I quickly fell asleep after looking at my phone. Now I am like a frightened bird, no matter how well I sleep, the slightest sound will wake me up. At half past one, my father called: "Your brother called the president of Bank N, I listened to it next to me, you heard it wrong yesterday, he ......" "No, what he said yesterday didn't mean that, I'll call him" I interrupted my father's words. "Don't play yet, see what your brother says" "Okay, don't worry about it, you go play mahjong". As soon as I put down my father's phone, I was once again dissipated by the sound of the door. It turned out that Cousin Zhang Lin sent two watermelons, which were said to have been bought by Grandma Xiaole, and I felt sour and grateful in my heart. "Just don't care about N, wait for him to sue" Zhang Lin was angered by the rogue behavior of the president of N Bank because of his father's phone call. I didn't want to think about it anymore, so I got dressed and made a cup of tea and went back to the department.

In the afternoon, I was going to finish the novel, but I called Zhu Chao one after another. At four o'clock, Zhu Chao suddenly appeared in the office, he beckoned me out and asked, "Your house is sold?" "Yes, but people need a loan, so they only give a down payment." "Then you have to give me the money when you get the final payment, I am already interesting enough for you, don't make me embarrassed again." "I know, don't worry!" I'm used to being collected every day, so his words didn't make me emotional, and I turned around and continued to write after dealing with him. Before I could figure out my thoughts, the phone calls were one after another as if they had made an appointment. I used almost the same words to pass every call like an endorsement, and now that everything is in one place, I can't solve it all, so I can only deal with it carefully, and live one day at a time.

After getting off work, my brother called and said the words of the president of the N bank and the plan of CNPC, and although I listened to it, I felt as if I had become insensitive. Unless there is a miracle, everything cannot be solved, and the messy life can only go on. I can only live a life of walking corpse without dignity. The nightmare journey continues and may never wake up. After dinner, I sat in front of the computer and wrote, and I was going to finish the novel tonight, and I was afraid that one day I would be distraught and give up the novel halfway. I'm going to finish this only meaningful thing in this period and leave a memory for myself.

Memories are sometimes sweet and sometimes painful. Before writing, I went through the whole thing, and I couldn't calm my mind for a long time because of the unbearable past. Deception, loan sharking, and other stupid things that seem to have nothing to do with me really happened to me. Three suicides in a row shouldn't have been done by me, but I actually did it? I saw my true self in the novel, but I couldn't believe it! Confusion has been surrounding me for months, leaving me with no peace. The case, the arrears, all the things will not come to fruition in a short time, and all the stories will continue.

I long for the nightmare journey to wake up soon, and everything can come to an end, even if it is incomplete. But at least the full stop will allow me and my family to return to normal life, so that I can once again raise the sail of hope and sail to the other side of the ideal! Let the souls of the relatives in heaven be at peace, and life can no longer be worried! It's a pity that the current dilemma I am facing just confirms: the ideal is very plump and the reality is very backbone! My destiny may not be in my own hands in this life, and every day in the future I can only move forward in the unknown. Of course, I believe that the laws of the country can finally give the liar a fair verdict and give me a chance to mend my ways! Hopefully it won't be too long!

It was late at night, and there was a burst of insect chirping outside the window. It's been a long time since I've had the heart to enjoy the midsummer night view, and at this moment my mood has an inexplicable relaxation, which makes me taste the vast night with interest, and think back to the past two years: summer is deep, the sun is passing, the green shade is turning, the wind is shaking, and the cicadas are flying. Full of mottled land. Like the sigh of time, layered layer upon layer, illusory and mysterious. Raising his head from intoxication and reading the autumn mood in a yellow leaf, he knew that time waits for no one. There is nothing to turn back except for dreams, and moving forward bravely is the confidence of life!