At noon on April 20, 2020, just after dinner, we were just about to take a lunch break, and the president of Bank N called me, and he told me about my credit card, and I hung up quickly after a few words. Zhang Lin obviously heard something, and she asked me irritably, "What's the matter?" "It's okay, let me talk to someone about borrowing....""Don't talk nonsense, I heard you." Before I could finish making it up, I was interrupted impatiently by Zhang Lin. She immediately called the president of Bank N and asked about the reason for the incident. What surprised me was that the man didn't tell me the whole story, and although Zhang Lin was angry, he didn't lose control. After hanging up the phone, Zhang Lin informed my brother of the crime I was concealing, and then kept angry at me. It wasn't until she fell asleep that I had a moment of peace. Although the president of Bank N did not say everything, I still felt a pang of unease in my heart, and I knew that everything was about to happen, and that a situation that would get out of control would eventually come.

The next morning, my brother called us to go to the store and said that he had found the president of Bank N. I had no choice but to go to the store with Zhang Lin. From the moment I entered, I sat and listened, waiting for the shipwreck of fate to be turned upside down. After my brother finished talking about the credit card, he suddenly asked me, "Fourth son, do you have anything to tell me?" "No? What's wrong" I didn't understand what he meant for a moment. "During this time, I have always felt that you are wrong, you are obviously deliberately avoiding me, I have told my father more than once that you have something to hide from me, let me remind you, what is going on with the Easy Loan Card?" My brother's sharp eyes have seen everything. "You just tell me what's going on." Once again, I was doing the dying throes. Zhang Lin interjected and said: "The easy loan card was done when I bought a car before, I know this, and I have already paid it back." "I bought the car and paid it back, and I did it again last year," my brother looked at me and answered Zhang Lin's question. Didn't you say the card was gone? How have you become accustomed to lying? "Zhang Lin was completely furious, and the situation at the scene was about to get out of control." Zhang Lin, don't get angry first, listen to the fourth son explain things clearly, what to do with the 100,000 yuan. "My brother wanted to find out what was going on, so he hurriedly persuaded him." It's not 100,000 but 280,000", "How is that possible? How has this been? Zhang Lin's already fragile mood collapsed instantly, "What should I really do?" What to do? As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes. Xiaole ran out of the back room and hugged Zhang Lin tightly. "In May '18, because of the huge loss in futures, I ran out of money. It seems that on the morning of the 5th, I called him and asked if I could get an easy loan card myself, and he said with certainty that he could. On the morning of the 8th, I went to go through the formalities, and Zhang Lin's signature and handprint were replaced by him. "With such a large sum of money, why didn't you say it earlier? From the time things came out to the present, you are like stabbing Zhang Lin again and again with a knife, and no one can stand it. My brother was puzzled. I knew that I didn't say a word, and listened silently to everyone's questions.

Every second of the rest of the year was very painful, and I didn't know whether to leave or stay, waiting blankly for things to unfold. I don't know how long it took, but Zhang Lin offered to go home with me. Along the way, she was expressionless and did not say a word, just walked to the bridge outside the south gate, she has always been timid jumped from the back seat of the battery car, and ran towards the bridge. I was stunned, and immediately threw down the car and hugged Zhang Lin, who was about to jump into the river. At that time, there were a lot of people on the road, and everyone rushed over to dissuade them when they saw this. After half an hour of stalemate, Zhang Lin calmed down a little and agreed to go home with me. When I got home, Zhang Lin got into the quilt, and she shouldn't say a word no matter what I said. I sat in the living room and waited for a while, and when I saw that Zhang Lin was not moving, I went downstairs to prepare to leave. When I was taking the car, I met my colleague Lan Lan, who knew about my family and said to me with concern: "Brother, don't make any noise. What about Mr. Zhang? "At home, don't make any noise, I think about it, let's divorce her, so I don't have to worry about it." With that, I rode away.

Actually, I don't know where to go? What should I do? Wandering around the hospital aimlessly, finally returning to the hospital.

Sitting at my desk, my mood settled. Looking at the computers on the table smoking cigarettes one after another, the thought of giving up was ignited in my heart again. Oh, yes! She knows everything, and she won't forgive me in this life, I can't pay off the money I owe so much, what's the point of living? is dead, all the debts Zhang Lin and Xiaole don't have to bear, death is still meaningful. Forget it, forget it......

After making up my mind, I pretended to be settled and went home. Walking into the house, there was no light in the house, let alone a little popularity, I looked at Zhang Lin who was lying on the bed and had fallen asleep at some point, and said secretly in my heart: "Goodbye, I hope you will never meet a man like me again in your next life." I'm sorry! "People are dying, but they are still nostalgic for the world. I sat in my son's room, looking at the photos of Xiaole and my brother, and tears welled up in my nose. The feeling in my heart is beyond words.

Outside the window, night fell, and a breeze hit and pulled my mind back to reality. I took one last look at my son's picture and was distressed, turned my head back to the bedroom to look at Zhang Lin, and then walked to the dining table. I peeled off the sleeping pills one by one and put them on a napkin, and piled up a whole 180 pills in front of me, I smiled, maybe I didn't expect to say goodbye to the world in such a way! Maybe I'm laughing at myself that I can't escape this road after all! Why are you laughing? Probably God knows. I made a cup of tea, swallowed the medicine one by one, and ate the last one, and I couldn't help but say to myself, "Goodbye son!" Goodbye Zhang Lin! ”。 I walked gently into the bedroom and slowly lay down on the bed, quietly waiting for death to come. I don't know if it's the desire to survive or something else, but when I was dizzy, I dialed Jingjing's phone in a daze, and was pulled back before the ghost gate closed.

I can't remember anything about what happened in the next few days, and when I woke up, my eldest sister who was far away in Guangzhou was actually standing in front of me. The moment I saw her, I had an indescribable emotion in my heart, I was always surprised that I could wake up with so much stability, and I admired and helpless my super vitality, and I didn't know how I should face the following days for a while. It was about noon the day after I woke up, my eldest sister was cooking for me in the kitchen, and I quickly got dressed and ran out without warning. I don't know why I ran, and I don't know why I went to the cemetery. With ringing bells and voice messages from time to time, I arrived at my destination. Finished! I didn't even have a penny. When I was negotiating with the driver in a daze, Lan Lan called, and she knew from the driver's mouth that I was in the cemetery. It dawned on me that I had come to see my mother, grandmother, and second sister. Taking the phone from the driver's hand, I walked towards my mother's grave, which is usually not far away, I walked for a long time today, and before I arrived, the eldest sister, brother, and Zhang Lin felt it. I knelt in front of my mother's grave and wept aloud, regretting that my actions had caused so much trouble to myself, to my family, and to everyone. Everyone stood on the side without saying a word, silently asking me to vent the depression in my heart, and I must have hoped that I could adjust my mood, start over, and live a good life.