The car is gone! The room is gone! There is no money either! Life is as hard as many North Drifters, and the prosecution of PetroChina, the harassment of Yixin, and the indifference of N lines have brought endless troubles to our difficult life.

I thought that selling a house was a life-saving and life-sustaining life, which could turn the predicament around, but everything backfired. Without a house, I can only stay in Zhang Lin's office every day and go home on weekends, and all the discomfort makes my mood not improve because I have some so-called money in my hand. With the same daily life and all the problems that have not changed, although there are no more quarrels and complaints now, this peace may be broken in a snap of a finger. Since Monday, I have been looking forward to the weekend, to escape from the cage, but when I return home, I don't feel at home at all, all the deviations from the normal track, and the endless torment and collapse in my heart may come.

Months of entanglement and tribulation have made my heart not ripple again, whether it is happiness, anger or anything else. In the face of the torment of life and environment, I am like a walking corpse and insensitive. Every night, no matter how early or late I sleep, I wake up at 2 or 3 o'clock, confused about the future, confused about the past, and don't know what to do with everything about myself, and how to regain trust in myself. Feel like a lamb to the slaughter, not knowing what the next second will be? Only live with trepidation, don't think about it, don't decide the future. This is probably what it is: when a monk hits the clock for a day!

It is an eternal truth that good things don't go out and bad things spread thousands of miles. From the beginning of the sale of the house and the signing of the contract, all the creditors flocked to it, and everyone came up with reasons that I couldn't refuse, just to get the money back, completely ignoring our future path, and not being able to appreciate how high this life-saving money would be for us. Frankly, I was mentally prepared for the negative effects of selling a house, but I didn't expect it to be so ferocious. The life we longed for to sell was shattered in an instant, and I should really think about how to arrange the payment.

For the sake of face, we also paid a penny. On the way back to the hospital, I told Zhang Lin my thoughts: "How to use this money, we can't listen to anyone, first pay back all the money borrowed in your name, and don't let your credit report have problems again." Return these first, and then talk about the rest. "So what do you do? If you pay it back, you can't help it. "I'll take it one step at a time, it's impossible to solve it all now, it's a big deal to enforce it." We must not both of us be blacklisted. I firmly answered Zhang Lin's concerns. After we finished the discussion, we went to the hospital, and the two of us cheered each other up, didn't think much about it, worked with peace of mind, and faced the troubles that might come together. In the middle of the night, I woke up again as if I had made an appointment with the Night Wanderer. Standing in front of the window, looking at the vast dark night, the mood is extremely lonely. Probably from the beginning of this road of no return, I broke into the endless dark night, ran into walls everywhere, and I didn't know what to do. Maybe there was a moment when you thought about it, maybe you blindly thought that you could overcome the confusion and light up the world, so you can't realize the cruel reality until the scalp bleeds. What should I do now? Just living without a soul? Still is? I don't want to accept my fate in my heart, I am especially eager to work hard to toss and try to change my fate, of course, in the end I may not be able to change anything, but I at least tried hard! I spent all my hope on the case and time all day long, and I couldn't imagine the final result. At this moment, I no longer dare to have extravagant hopes for the case, I am not doubting the professional attitude of law enforcers, but having a clear understanding of social reality. What I have encountered has become a common phenomenon in society, and even if a bad person is subdued, it will take a long time, and maybe it will not be able to subdue at all. I don't know what I can wait for, or even if I have time to wait for the final result.

Irony is really everywhere in life. At the beginning, the court not only accepted the case against me, but also arbitrarily ruled against me in disregard of the issues listed in my pleadings. What's even more excessive is that from the time I received the court summons to the present, CNPC, a company under the guise of a formal financial company, has entrusted a third-party company to continue to harass me, and I have communicated and complained many times, only to get more outrageous results. In this way, formal large companies are like this, and those financial companies that do not have credit from the central bank can be imagined. In the days after selling my house, I had to endure the consequences of the seeds of sin I had planted almost every moment, and I couldn't complain and had to endure it alone. The previous violent collection of Yixin may be the reason why the company has been under a lot of pressure in the past two years of negative news, and they changed their strategy to use the Huairou strategy, and I can only deal with it tactfully, of course, I do not pay back the money now. The president of Bank N has never dared to force me too much because he has been lending money in violation of regulations, but he has always refused my request, so he has been deadlocked.

Although the matter has not been resolved, at least I am still alive, and maybe in the future, I can only continue to live day by day, day by day. I'm really tired of living like this, and I don't know how long I can live like a terminally ill patient, it's not what I want.