Today is Saturday, and it's the weekend, with the fatigue of a week of traveling, I sat on the chair, I want to adjust my mood, completely relax myself, these days dull heart really want to completely explode, in addition to going to work can beat the spirit, the rest of the time are exhausted, there are too many things around, think about their future development, my heart is confused, I don't know how to do it, the environment I am in is not very good, there are some forces of people around, they are very short-sighted and my ideas are very inconsistent, in their opinion, I seem to be a very stupid person, as if I don't know how to live in the world, but only I know what kind of person I am, and I don't like to talk to these people in my spare time, so I find a place to go by myself, or read in the house, learn about it, and people my age have married and had children, and I still live alone, and of course the pressure around me is also very great.

In fact, I also want to find a partner, really, plainly to live in my hometown, which is what these people call life, but the reality does not let me do this, maybe what I am worried about is to live this life, because it is far from my ideals, I have also tried to find two objects, one of them has also lost contact for more than two years, and one has not spoken for a year, because everything around me determines that I can't use enough time to contact, I can only use the will to work hard and perseverance to get closer to the ideal, but the reality makes me and the edge of the ideal, the gap is getting bigger and bigger, sometimes even feel very slim, I am now studying law, trying to use the weapon of the law to save the poor and humiliated, but no one can predict where the future is looking for, things backfire, often want to do things, you can't do it at all, don't want to do things, will stare at you, this may be the law of the development of things, my mood is very bad, I don't know when I see the edge of my hope, and I don't know when I can realize my ideals and not show my skills on the ideal stage, but I believe that I am also very confident, I want to go on, go on the road of my ideals, call and pursue with a thousand times the hard work and efforts, although all the previous actions have failed, but I am still unwilling, trying to use the way to change, change the method and save the adversity, maybe this will not work, but I think that only in this way can it be more reliable, Talent is not limited to the loss of one's own faith.

I hope, I hope, that the day I pursue may not be far away, maybe it will be a long time, maybe it will be a dream, but I still have the confidence to fight for it and work hard for it.

With the clarity of my thinking, my wish has gradually recovered, and I can't help but be a little disappointed in the future.