When I opened my eyes, the whole world was pale, and the smell of disinfectant was strong and choking. The image of me before I fainted flashed through my mind, and my heart ached. I closed my eyes again, hoping it was all a dream. But the picture in the dream also made my heart ache, Sun Keyi's eyebrows sank under the water, so desperate, why didn't I save him, at that moment, I suddenly hated myself very much, even in the dream.

I opened my eyes again, the world was so pale, only Sun Keyi's eyebrows and eyes were so gentle, and the eyes seemed to contain the entire galaxy. He said, "Wake up." As soon as he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

I asked him, "Where's my mom, how is she?" ”

Sun Keyi looked at me, for a long time, he didn't speak, only a heavy sigh. I looked at him, and I looked at him, just like that.

The door was pushed open and the doctor came in to do his rounds. I looked away, and the doctor looked at my case book and said, "Miss Xu, you have a hereditary heart disease, you have to pay attention in the future, and you can't be excited casually." ”

I was indifferent to the doctor's words, but Sun Keyi, who listened carefully to the doctor's words and asked a lot of things that need attention.

In those days, I stayed in the hospital, and Sun Keyi also stayed with me, but he was very busy, and the hospital became his office. There is another thing, Sun Keyi did it without me, buried my mother, and during that time, I have always refused to admit that my mother really left me like that, sometimes, I feel that she is sitting next to me, I call her, talk to her. At first, when Sun Keyi saw me behaving like this, he would dissuade me and tell me that my mother had really left, hoping that I would accept this fact, and later, he began to call me a psychiatrist, and the hospital said that I had a mild mental illness, and since I had been treated with a psychiatrist, Sun Keyi has become more concerned about my emotions.

Every week, the psychiatrist would give me psychological counseling, but I became more and more disgusted with what the doctor said, and even when I saw the doctor, I was very resistant, and I would cry and scream and kick the doctor out of my room. The doctor advised me to be sent to a professional place for treatment.

That day, after the doctor left, I asked Sun Keyi, "Are you going to send me to a psychiatric hospital?" ”

I saw Sun Keyi's eyebrows furrowed, and he said, "No, Qijun, you are not sick, if you don't want to be treated, we will not be cured." ”

I said, "Let's go home, okay?" ”

Sun Keyi said, "Okay, let's go home." ”

The day I left the hospital, it was pouring rain, but my heart flew out of the window and let the rain wet it.

I saw my mom sitting right next to me, and she had a very beautiful smile on her face, and she said, "Qijun, we're going home." ”

So I leaned over and leaned against the car window, and I said, "Mom, will you make me sweet and sour pork ribs when you get home?" ”

Sun Keyi drove the car, he turned his head to look at me, did not speak, his helplessness made me inexplicable, I choked my breath along the way, but I didn't open my mouth to scold him, but, with my mother intermittently talking.

When I got home, I insisted on cooking, and Sun Keyi didn't stop me, he looked at me from the side, and didn't come in to help, just watched. I was busy for a while, stir-fried several dishes, and I said to Sun Keyi, "That's good." ”

He nodded, and finally walked in to help serve the food, and when I set the dishes and chopsticks, I put three pairs, and Sun Keyi sat down opposite me, and I watched him snatch my mother's place, and I said, "You are not allowed to sit there, that is my mother's position." ”

He got up and moved a place.

When I was sleeping, my consciousness was foggy, and I suddenly felt that my mother had actually left me, and after this awareness, I suddenly woke up, so I opened my eyes wide and cried silently in the dark night, and the night was long and desperate, and I was depressed and suffocated for a while. In the days that followed, I slowly sobered up, and I knew that my mother was gone and had passed away. But that kind of consciousness often made my heart ache, and I couldn't breathe when it hurt deeply, and during that time, the doctor prepared medicine for me, and I only felt better when I took the medicine.

One day, I said to Sun Keyi, "Take me to my mother's grave." ”

At that time, Sun Keyi looked at me for a long time, and he said, "Qijun, in fact, you have always known, right?" ”

I nodded, "I've been deceiving myself all along, I've even always felt that as long as I believe in her, I'll be there for me, but the truth is that she's gone, she'll never come back." I buried my head in Sun Keyi's arms and cried loudly.

Sun Keyi took me to the cemetery, it was a hot day, I was wearing black clothes, and there was a sweat on my back. But there is a chill in the knees that are kneeling on the ground.

After coming out of the cemetery, I received a call from Di Yan, her voice sounded tired, and she said, "Qijun, I have something to say to you." ”

When I heard Di Eucalyptus's voice, my heart trembled, and I will probably never forget the scene of that day in my life, especially the landscape of more than 300 meters from the rooftop, in my dreams, I fell from there countless times.

I looked at Sun Keyi, and he heard what was on the phone just now. He asked me, "Do you want to go?" ”

Actually, I don't know what I can say when I see Di Yu again. But I still nodded, and Sun Keyi said, "Then go." ”

When I saw Di Yu again, she was tired, not like the radiant her. Di Yan also saw me, she glanced back, and saw Sun Keyi behind me, Di Yan changed her smiling face, she said, "It's coming." ”

I nodded, and sat down across from her, with Sun Keyi sitting next to me.

Di Yan said, "It seems that Mr. Lu is not wrong in betting, and Mr. Sun is really interested in you." ”

I didn't have the energy to cater to her, and I said, "Manager Di, if you have anything to say, just say it." She lowered her head, completely devoid of the confidence and flamboyance that she had just smiled, yes, this is Di Yu, no matter when she is confident and flamboyant, even when she is tired. But the way she looks now is something I've never seen before, and she said, "I'm sorry, Qijun, I thought I could be with him as long as I did that, but I bet wrong, he bet right, I bet wrong." Di Yan sniffed, she wiped away her tears with a piece of paper, smiled at me, she said, "But I don't regret it, Qijun, even if you blame me for hating me, I won't regret it, because this time, I am completely dead, if I said that my previous death was a temptation for him, then this time I am really dead, I will never love him again." ”

My nose was sore, and I cried with Di Yu, the woman in front of me, she was just hurt by love, what right do I have to blame her. Sometimes, women can understand women best, the pain of not being able to love, how torturous it is, I know, I can even imagine that in countless nights, Di Yan cried or laughed because of Lu Yan's words and expressions, but that kind of feeling is hurtful most of the time. Although I can't forgive Di Yan, I can understand her, and I think if it were me, I would gamble everything, and I would be willing to give it a try.

Di Yan said, "Sometimes, there are some things that I really can't figure out, Lu Yan can be casually with the women around him, those women, they can be new interns, they can be business partners who can talk to him, or even pure and lovely wine girls, but they can't be me." Qijun, you say, why? Why did he do this to me, why did he do this to me. ”

I couldn't say anything about comforting Di Yan, that day, I listened to her say, as if we were bosom friends talking about our hearts, but only I knew that that time was so tormenting, every time I looked at Di Yan, my heart trembled once, I thought of her on the rooftop, I thought of the way Lu Sulfone pushed me to the rooftop.