On a bleak autumn evening, I returned from wild fishing in the reservoir outside the village as usual. When I walked to the small bridge at the entrance of the village, I saw a few small goats scattered by the bridge, and the second aunt of the village was still sitting on the bridge.

I don't remember how many times I've seen her and the sheep here this year.

I only remember that she always sat there like a stone sculpture, looking at the road into the village to the west, the confused eyes, the melancholy affection, the faint grievances and the sad sighs that could not be heard at all, made people ponder......

My second aunt is the mother of my classmate, and I are not from the same family, but I am called this according to the approximate generation in the village.

It is said that when she was a girl in her mother's family, she was very good, not only beautiful and decent, but also very motivated, I heard that she was still a high school student at that time.

At that time, he served as the secretary of the Communist Youth League branch in her village, and later he married into our village and married the second uncle X who was a teacher.

In the eyes of everyone at that time, the two of them could be regarded as a very good match, one beautiful and capable, and the other young talent.

After marriage, they lived a sweet and loving life, and it is said that they have never blushed in all these years together.

Unconsciously, more than 20 years have passed, the second uncle X has worked hard, the second aunt has worked hard, and the family has lived happily and happily.

Slowly, the second uncle X was transferred to become the head of the town's education department, and the two sons were also admitted to the university one after another, and in those days, the second aunt's face was always filled with a satisfied smile.

According to the second aunt's "good fate" and fair and decent behavior, the people in the village spontaneously let him serve as the "female acquaintance" of the village. You must know that at that time, the selection of female acquaintances in the village was very strict, unlike those acquaintances who slowly deteriorated later.

At that time, the female intellectuals were chosen by the "vision" of the whole village, and were by no means influenced by other material conditions.

Although, she only served as a woman in the red and white affairs of the village, and at the end of the main family sent a symbolic thank-you gift. But the identity of a female acquaintance is quite respectful.

As a female intellectual, you must not only be generous and decent, but also have decent parents, capable men, and competitive children.

This is the "whole living person" that must be required in the countryside, especially for festive red events.

It's just that I don't remember how long the second aunt has been a female confidant, anyway, I feel like it's been a few years, and the reputation in the village is excellent.

However, there are unforeseen circumstances in the sky, and people have good and bad luck.

Suddenly, one day, an unfortunate fate befell her mercilessly, her husband was diagnosed with acute esophageal cancer during a physical examination, and it was at an advanced stage.

The happy life was suddenly cast a dim shadow, and it felt like the sky was about to fall.

Although she spent almost all of her family's savings, she was unable to save her husband's life in the end.

It is said that her husband was very painful when he died, and I don't know if it was the torture of illness, or the reluctance to give up life, or the concern for his family......

After experiencing wandering, like most rootless wanderers, I silently returned to my hometown after ruthless collisions again and again in reality.

Maybe it's too tired and needs to rest, maybe it's because you're afraid and choose to escape, or maybe you face up to reality and start a mediocre life......

In short, I'm back in disgrace!

In the days when I was idle at home, I liked to go to the reservoir and river outside the village to go fishing alone, so as to spend the boring life, and it seemed to reflect on those bitter pasts.

Anyway, in those days, maybe my fishing skills were so bad that I barely caught any fish.

But during that time, my mind mirror was a lot calmer, less impetuous, maybe this is the heart of many wild anglers.

During that time, every time I came back at dusk, I could almost see my second aunt and her lamb, and at first I thought it was just a chance encounter.

But as time passed, I slowly noticed her stiff face and empty eyes.

Occasionally, when she heard the whistle of a motorcycle from the west, her blank eyes would flash a glimmer of light, but as the figure on the car gradually approached, her eyes appeared gray and complaining.

I seem to understand that she sits here every day, in fact, under the guise of herding sheep, waiting here for the return of her "husband".

According to the people in the village, since her husband's death, she naturally stopped being a female guest in the village. But he is still working as hard as before, working hard to support his two sons who are in college.

But since then, she has been like this almost every day, and in the evening she will go there to herd the sheep and wait.

Once, it was raining heavily, and someone found her still sitting there with her raincoat in her arms.

When she was dragged home by a kind neighbor, she found that she couldn't tell whether the muddy water on her face was rain or tears.

At dusk, by the small bridge at the edge of the village, a lonely stone-carved woman and a few scattered sheep.

The sound of motorcycle whistles, accompanied by disappointed and mournful sighs, constitutes a poignant twilight picture

Occasionally, I think of other middle-aged and elderly widows in the village who have one thing in common: they lost their husbands in middle age.

Regardless of whether they were in love or not, they did not choose to remarry after their husbands left.

may be more for their children, they silently stayed in the lonely and lonely home, and worked hard to pull the children into adults.

Some people say that they are for the sake of feudal honor, but more people think that they are poor children, and choose a heavy and difficult life of widowhood.

I don't know exactly why, and I don't want to delve into it, but I am deeply moved by their persistence and tenacity.

Inadvertently, I discovered another habit that they shared.

That is, after the children grow up and become a family, they silently and automatically fade out of the children's lives, buy a few lambs, and start a free and casual "sheep" life.

Personally, I feel that they should not just regard sheep as a simple money-making livestock, but as a kind of soul sustenance and heavy comfort.

They were with the sheep in the open field, talking with the sheep, and opening their lonely hearts to the sheep. The sheep watched and listened silently, and occasionally snuggled up to their owners as if they didn't understand, as if seeking each other's warmth......

It is true that the word "widow" is more of a rumor or another among the people.

For example, the boring words such as "there are many rights and wrongs in front of the widow's door", "many widows are harmful to people", etc., it is precisely because of the spread of these "truths" that it directly leads to the extreme depression and depression of the "widow" disadvantaged group.

Therefore, many of them silently chose to live alone.

But I vaguely feel that the "widows" like the second aunt and the sheep they take comfort have great similarities with the "Buddha" of Zen Buddhism and the "Tao" of Xiuzhen.

Leave it aside, my ridiculous drunken ramout.

Aren't their faded and yellowed photos of men exactly the "Buddha" and "Tao" in their hearts? Their sheep who only carry their emotions and souls are not exactly the ...... in their obsession