Lin Shanghan returned home, and with the emotion along the way, he wrote a letter overnight, and asked Deng Ziyi to take a picture of it and send it to Li Linxi the next day.

"In Memoriam"

Dull, bitter, depressing, and depressed breath pressed heavily on the heart, leaving a trace of residual breath that wandered in the heart.

It wants to escape, but it doesn't know how, because it has no way to escape.

The silence of the night rolls up a curtain of dreams.

The scene in the dream, the world is a brilliant silence.

I didn't see you.

Constant interweaving of thoughts, in such a quiet and empty late autumn night, I imagine your present, your past, your future through the pupils of the moon.

And the one I met you, the moment of a faint glow in the darkness. At that time, you had a bright smile, like a warm yellow lamp in the distance in the dark night with heavy rain. The sounds around me sank into the canyon of the ocean in an instant, and my eardrums itched slightly from the sudden silence.

It's like an empty world under the intense sun of midsummer.

The boundless darkness evokes memories that haunt the boy's heart.

Teenagers are lonely.

A lonely person always remembers everyone who has appeared in his life, so I always think of you. On every starry night, over and over again, count my loneliness.

Yes, since the boy was born, he began to embark on a journey of being alone. Iron-blooded horses, Jin Ge wielded. The boy has the boundless desire of the lonely, the endless emptiness. He is lost in his own world, unable to see the edge. His heart is a small, lonely city. Loneliness was a sword that pierced into his heart, and it still exists in his heart today.

The teenager longs for relief.

The teenager met a girl when he was in elementary school. At first, she left him with a very interesting impression. The first boy didn't think about anything, just felt a hint of fun. With the passage of time, the words and verbal conversations gradually continued like flowing water with the passage of time.

Teenagers and girls use words to record the beauty and thoughts of youth. The keyboard precipitates the splendor of the years, and the screen records the passage of time. Time slipped through my fingers in one bleak night after another, silently. The boy is willing to spend time and body with her late at night to experience the joy and pain of emotional outbursts. When the boy walked quietly along the gap in time, he felt a tremor from the depths of his soul, and burst out with a deafening sound, and the young man's cloudy eyes suddenly flashed with light. The lonely soul of the boy felt a glimmer of relief.

At first, the girl has always existed in a perfect dream of the boy without a single blemish. In the dream, she was beautiful and fragile, and she was his goddess Athena at that time.

The boy thought that he must have liked this girl.

However, the love of teenagers is always just like, and there are not too many emotions mixed in, maybe the teenager at that time just thought that this girl looked a little good-looking.

As time flies, the teenager is irrepressibly separated from the girl, they enter different middle schools, start their own new lives, and the friendship in elementary school is purely as the naughtiness of childhood, which is slowly left behind, but the teenager still remembers that he once liked this girl, and the girl also remembers liking this teenager.

Then, by chance, the boy and the girl started chatting again on the Internet. Those likes that are about to be extinguished by time seem to return to the sun, and they begin to breed and grow wildly across the screen, deeply rooted in the soft hearts of teenagers and girls, and are carefully guarded by each other.

Finally, the boy mustered up the courage to boldly type "I like you" in the chat box on a sunny afternoon, and his heart was nervous, afraid that the girl would reject him so directly.

However, the girl agreed, and said that she had known about it for a long time.

The boy was excited for a long time.

The boy seemed to be full of strength in every day when he could see the corners of the girl's mouth raised high. He is no longer satisfied with the chaotic life of the past, he begins to learn to catch up, to surpass, to work hard, to achieve, to like, to laugh, to be sincere, to choose, to fantasize. The soul of the boy survived each of the following years by relying on a nihilistic faith. The boy counted her laughter every day, but she was so lonely even when she laughed.

Her smile, he said, was both pretty and downcast.

However, it seems destined to be a gorgeous banishment, and the dream will eventually wake up. Time tells the boy, give up, the boy tells time, I'll wait and see. So, one autumn evening, the girl found the boy and calmly said to the boy, "Let's separate." ”

Since then, what she left him was endless silence and silence, the silence was lifeless, the heavens and the earth were dyed white, and the infinite loneliness hit in an instant, and in this silence was quietly silent, and the young man was once again photographed in loneliness and loneliness, unable to extricate himself. How he wanted to break the silence! He never knew what was intertwined in the girl's little heart, and it was an unsolvable mystery to the boy, like a translucent wall, cutting off the sound and blocking the air, and he could only look at the distance with a faint gaze.

The boy began to despair, but he still silently guarded, he began to write affectionately on Weibo in countless dreamless nights to send the hypocritical text to the girl, to share with others his heart of the little lonely city, that is all a lingering dream in the hazy youth of the teenager! However, all this changed until the teenager found out that the girl had been cheating on him, and the deception had been deceiving him for a long time.

At that moment, the flood burst the embankment, the mountain collapsed and the ground cracked, and the universe was desolate.

A lie is a lie after all, but the boy still can't bear to pierce the thin layer of window paper. The teenager would rather lie to himself. But this kind of life makes the young man sad and has a stomachache, and it is not a pity that the painful liver and intestines are cut off. The ignorant are fearless and painless, the knower has long been detached, and only a half-ignorant person like a teenager deserves to die in pain.

I guess I woke up from the dream.

The boy was so angry that he went to confront the girl that night, and at first he was glad that he no longer smiled at her, and began to start another. So he started trying to give up, trying not to like it anymore, even though it was tough. He wanted to show off to the girl how chic and comfortable he was outside of her. He began to be different from the other girls as gentle and delicate as the original girl, and he only relied on simple straightforwardness to get what he had been pursuing for a year or two but had not been able to get in just ten days. In an instant, satisfaction and pleasure filled the boy's whole body, and the boy floated in the air like floating cotton, and the pride and satisfaction could not be described in words.

However, please forgive him for being young and frivolous.

However, the boy didn't know that the original dream had been deeply rooted, and how could he easily escape from the original inextrication. Whenever he was with that girl, the smile that lingered in his mind was the bright smile of the girl from before! He gently picked up the girl's clear face, the sun was shining, and the reflected light stinged his eyes, why did the girl's gentle face flash like water? He will never forget her! He thought he must be the most favorite person in the world about her.

On that day, the teenager was deleting a memory about her in those years, the purest and most beautiful proverbs of those childish years. Those memories were like arrows one by one, to the sore spot of his heart like ten thousand arrows. Thoughts are like a dense net, netting the young man's debauched heart, netting all the uninhibited and frivolous, at that moment, the young man sensitively felt the two tears that slowly flowed through his cheeks, cold, and had meandered into two deep streams, transparent and pure, just like that emotionless feeling.

Yes, the youth that makes mistakes is called growth.

As time goes by, the longing begins to become deeper and deeper, all the reasons at the beginning are in vain, although she has never given him a little chance, and has never echoed his affection a little, but at this moment he is still willing to use everything, and then exchange her for a bright smile! Far away from her, do you know that there is a teenager who is writing his last hypocritical text for you in tears in the dark at this moment? Did you know that there was a boy who had been quietly guarding and never leaving? Do you know that there is anyone who likes you more than him? Do you know how deep the marks you have left in his indifferent heart? Do you know that the most important thing he cares about is you? Do you know all of this? Are you willing to forgive the boy for his mistakes? The young man really regretted it, he regretted those radical words, regretted those frivolous measures, regretted everything at the beginning, he really regretted it! He began to know how to cherish, began to know how not to forget his heart, began to know how to remember, began to understand, and began to understand that he never forgot you! Do you forgive him, he once gave you his whole world!

However, it may be difficult for the girl to forgive him.

Hey, maybe tomorrow he should pick up his bulky suitcase, put on wide black-rimmed glasses, put on a beige scarf, wander the streets, and be a troubadour like Xu Zhimo, affectionately telling every corner of the world his confession, looking forward to the day when he can see that smile like a April day on earth again, but he doesn't know whether it will be an instant or forever.

You say, 'Will he see it?'

The boy's left hand was brutally cut off on October 6th, and the blood meandered into a blood-red stream, leaving black marks when the blood dried. From then on, he would never write the same article as before, because his left hand belonged to the girl alone. He began to become deep, began to become monotonous, began to become silent, began to become cold. He began to wear the mask of indifference from then on, as he waited, waiting for her to uncover it. People always say that only those who dare to face setbacks have the greatest courage, but as everyone knows, only those who wear the mask of indifference have the greatest courage!

If you don't explode in silence, you perish in silence. Girl, will you break the silence? The teenager misses a real you, no matter how different you are from the you in the dream, it will make the boy's cloudy eyes shine again.

And everything, in the face of now, is a gorgeous banishment in a gorgeous dream.

The trivialities of life and the dense whirlwind of emptiness are woven into an overwhelming net, and I sit peacefully in the middle of the net, without the desire or urge to escape, because I always fantasize that I am outside the net. I sat in the net while time flies, the matter and the years go back vigorously, while the mind and soul rush forward with joy, sublimating the spirit like flying into the sky and leaving the body empty. Only the continuous jointing of the heart is pure and jade, like wheat in the rain, growing angrily towards the sun. Thankfully, I was able to stay true to my roots.

Don't forget your heart, you have to always.

I've seen many sunsets, warm or sad. The light took away the heat from the air, coldened the hot earth, and smeared the outlines of the thorns and artemisia around it into the gray night. Only my thoughts of you are left, in the silence of the night temperature, gradually growing. Liantou, who wants to be with you, is slowly becoming stubborn in his mind.

I thought of many reasons why we could be separated, distance, sickness, war, and the most terrible death. These births, old ages, sickness and death, like unchangeable spring, summer, autumn and winter, confront us in silence in the years.

I've thought a lot about scenarios if I lose you. In fact, it's not that scary, it's still the same as my many years of life, eating alone, sleeping alone, and waking up alone in the middle of the night. But will we be separated?

I wake up from my dreams a lot of the time. When you're in a bad mood, when you're sad, when you're afraid of the future, you will have all kinds of frightening nightmares.

But he never struggled to do it and shouted loudly like in the movie. After struggling with all his strength, he gently opened his eyes from the dream, and lay down on the bed calmly, looking at the room in the dim light, his whole body was as weak as collapse.

At such a moment, I feel a sense of luck for the rest of my life after the catastrophe, but then there is a loneliness that makes people feel so depressed that they want to cry.

- How many years have I woken up in such loneliness.

I've grown up, and so have you.

I don't want to go back to the past, I want a fresh beginning.

There is a small place in my heart, and I have buried a lot of simple memories of the past. It doesn't matter if it's a tomb, a treasure, or a ruin. It lives quietly in my heart.

The earth of that place had the most rustic smell, and the moss shone green in the sun.

You don't know the past of my burial. I don't even know if you'll be able to understand my future.

- You just met me in the moment, in such a brief moment. It made me feel scared, worried, and lost.

- Why didn't we meet in the distant past? So that you can know the reason why I don't want to talk a lot of times.

Heavy rain drenched the forest, and then the sunlight evaporated the water into a fog.

The sight was damp with such milky white particles, and it looked like tears floating in the eye sockets.

Maybe many years have passed, and I don't have the youthful face I have now. At that time, I hope you can still remember my best years.

Thinking of the boy he used to be, he had the most beautiful and warm laughter and the most simple and sincere pursuit in those years.

Time will eventually reconcile with you, and all your paranoia, evil thoughts, unwillingness, your laughter, anger, resentment, and hatred, and your love, hate, hatred, and madness will eventually be softly held in its hands.

It whispers to you, "Look, there's no need to be afraid."

Are you willing to reconcile with time and reconciliation?

-- Dividing line --

Li Linxi's reply:

Thank you. That should be my first reaction. We haven't grown up, and we are all suffering from the pain and suffering brought about by gradually seeing life, society, and human feelings. In some ways, you really know me better than I know myself. Today I am glad that I saw these words, and I knew what I wanted. Again and again, in my impulsive ways, I made decisions that seemed wrong to me. The impact of these decisions really overwhelmed me, and I chose to leave, which undoubtedly accounted for a large part of the reason, I was really tired. Of course, I don't say this to justify anything, it's just that I've been hit again and again, and I've been bruised all over my body, I'm sorry, I once again treat you as the object of confiding. Alone, always sad, I don't understand what I'm doing, I've gotten to this point, but I'm still making useless fantasies. That's right, human nature is cheap. And your words, I shattered the illusion, and I began to realize that most of these are human conclusions made by myself out of ignorance, revealing childishness, and everything is self-righteous speculation. I think I'll learn to get colder to disguise my ruin in the eyes of others. In this cool season, I decided to let the university become the molten slurry of my reinvention and like someone well. And between us, I'm really tired, I'm sorry.

There is no need to forgive, I broke up with you, I was deliberately avoiding it, you didn't do anything wrong. It's a character issue on my part.

May everyone be well. There's another option called going flat, and I'm sure you understand.

(End of chapter)