"Brother Erman, Brother Erman~ What can I do! I won't live more than thirty-five! I haven't found it yet! Do you think I can get married before thirty-five? If you want you to do another hexagram for me! I believe in you, you can tell me a hexagram! Please. ”

I had an idea, picked up Brother Erman, and let him roll back and forth on the ground with me, pretending to be sad and crying crazy others.

"Don't howl, don't howl, what do I have for you, everything you can say is said by the family, what are you afraid of? Practice well, and when the Tao goes up, some simple problems can be solved, and you will work harder in the future, and do more good deeds to accumulate virtue than anything else. ”

Brother Erman comforted me helplessly, pressed my chest with one paw, broke free from my arm, jumped onto the table, wagged his tail and watched me continue to roll on the floor.

After I rolled enough, I sat on the ground, put my hands on my legs and knees, and said with a sad feeling in my heart: "When I get off work in the morning, I want to improve myself and draw three talismans a day, but the premise is that Brother Erman you have to teach me to make a girl!"

"Bubble girl? How do you want me to teach you how to bubble a girl? ”

Brother Erman sat on the table with one movement, ready to teach me a teacher.

"That's it...... It's just that you taught me how to chat with my sister or something, I really don't know what to do in this regard. ”

I mentioned this stubble, and put what the third grandmother said just now, anyway, now I am not even twenty, and I feel that I have lived enough before thirty-five, and I have almost lived almost, maybe I will commit suicide myself.

“wd

In this case, today Brother Erman, I will teach you the supreme law of bubble girl, and ensure that you will win all battles in the future!"

Brother Erman looked up at the sky and put on a look of seeing through the red dust, the vicissitudes of life, and the appearance of not being born in the world, if he put a few strands of fake beard on him, he would definitely be able to squint and not be able to find the north of the little sister who doesn't understand current affairs.

I saw him calmly grasp the tone and continued: "As the saying goes, storytelling, singing, and persuading people, the three avenues go to the center, good and evil will be rewarded in the end, and the right way in the world is the vicissitudes of life!"

"Good! Well said! One more!"

I applauded as if I heard that Mr. was talking about the play.

"Today, I will teach you yin and yang...... No, the invincible two-word method, the core theme of this law is that in the future, you will talk to the girl, and you will not add the word "" and bei in the words, if you have a question, if you sigh, if you can be familiar with and control this two-word method, you will be the first in the world, and countless fans will come to hold your stinky feet. ”

Brother Erman's momentum suddenly became vertical and horizontal, invincible, the tip of the knife must be a river of blood, and the sword body must be crazy for the indifferent fan sister.

"How?"

I am flexible in learning and using, and I have learned to add the word to the word, and according to what he said, the tone of the whole sentence becomes an interrogative sentence, and even more than that, deliberately aggravating the role of the interrogative sentence, and deliberately making the tone a little lighter.

"You turn on your phone now and see if there are any girls online on WeChat and QQ. Our homework mainly focuses on actual combat, and no matter how much theoretical experience there is in actual combat, it is useless. ”

Brother Erman heard my cheap tone and naughty facial movements, resisted the urge to give me a mouthful, jumped off the table and walked into the front desk, grabbed my mobile phone on the computer desk, crawled over and handed it to me.

"At this point, who else can be online!?"

I took my phone, rummaged through my contacts, searched and searched, and there didn't seem to be any other women except my mom.

Wait a minute!

It seems that there really is one, but I don't know if I can be online at night, I opened the chat box with Xingmeng on WeChat, and plucked up the courage to be generous for himself in the future, and typed a shameful "Are you there?" on the mobile phone screen. "Two words, give her over.

Xingmeng actually replied to me with a voice message in seconds, I turned on the speakerphone to listen, and her cute slightly tired voice sounded in my mobile phone: "It's here!" What's wrong? ”

"I ......" I pressed and held the record button to send her a voice message, but thinking about it carefully, I didn't practice my magic skills, so I spoke very abruptly, so I simply swiped to cancel the recording and replaced it with a hand: "It's the middle of the night, why don't you sleep?"

Xingmeng's aggrieved voice was clicked on by me: "It's a little uncomfortable, I can't sleep......"

"I really won't sleep!"

I smiled evilly, completely ignoring the weak tone in her voice, and tapped the keyboard of my phone with both hands to send a message, and I just wanted to verify the divine skills that Brother Erman taught me.

"I'm sorry...... No...... No...... I'll go to sleep right away. ”

Xingmeng actually apologized to me in his voice, and was even ready to listen to my words and go to sleep.

"What better if you stay up a little longer?"

I ignored her apologizing to me and continued to send me messages.

"No, no, no...... I was wrong...... I'll go to bed right away, I'll go offline now, little Liangliang, good night. ”

Xingmeng said that I was wrong, and immediately went to sleep, leaving me in a daze, and I felt that I had no place to do my best.

I can't help but sigh, fuck me! What do you have to do with me? I'll let you go to sleep and go to sleep, why are you so obedient.

But of course I couldn't give up, and sent her another sentence: "It's really sleeping!"

After three minutes, she didn't reply to me, I had to give up, and there was no one else to talk to, I looked up and said to Brother Erman's frivolous tone, and the tone of frustration was all at the end of the conversation and said, "What can I do?"

Brother Erman was really disgusted by me, and he regretted teaching me this skill: "You and I don't have to talk like this, we are of the same sex and can't attract."

"You can't attract! Isn't that amazing? ”

The more I talk like this, the more I feel like I'm on top, like an addiction that I can't get rid of, and I join my current perception of this without authorization, mainly because of the tone of tone when I speak.

“wd

MD! Talk to me!"

Brother Erman covered his face with his claws, and he really didn't want to see me like a cheap immortal getting such an artifact as a treasure above, showing off my might.

"I'm not going to talk well! So how do you talk well? ”

I'm trying to take my current level to the next level, paying more attention to my own pronunciation rules and trying my best to create my own speaking style.

“wd

Brother, I was wrong, in fact, this is the practice practiced by yin and yang people when they speak. ”

Brother Erman finally told the truth of the matter under my disgust.

I put my phone in my pocket, stood up and shook the dust behind my pants, walked up to Brother Erman, hugged him, and walked to the front desk: "You are so stupid to me!" Still not online? I don't know this trick anymore? Hee-hee-hee, I'm really stupid! Awesome? Hee-hee-hee. ”