When I decided to give up, I was probably on the way to Beijing, I didn't think that there would be an end to Liu Fang's matter immediately, or something to say, I just wishfully stayed in Beidaihe for seven days and gave this one-man show a curtain call. In fact, I just want to find someone who can live with me for a lifetime, but the reality is that I can't ask for it.

Then let's have a good future, don't be bored to do so many things for a person who has no emotion at all, it's really redundant, not to mention that others still don't appreciate or misunderstand, so I'm stupid. Every time I read the text messages, those cold words made me angry more than once, never said that I wanted to be so low or compromised to anyone, no backbone, although the previous relationship was a failure, but I shouldn't have lost myself in this game.

So why would I do it? It should be that she is very personality and charming, or because she was introduced to me by Yuan Jie, I respect Yuan Jie, I don't think she will introduce me to some bad people, so I insist.

Liu Fang asked me to watch the MV of "I Love You" sung by SHE, saying that people who love her will always wait for her. At that time I said I can try to wait for you to come and see me, I didn't tell her about love, love is so deep for me, I don't understand what love is. So I'm just pursuing easy happiness, there's no need to do anything, there is a feeling that we can live together, then let's continue, no, be optimistic and be friends, it doesn't hurt anyone, it's fair to everyone. Liu Fang said that she couldn't do without her parents and wanted to find someone close to home, I said I could develop with you, she said it was not realistic, I said it was very realistic, because her hometown is very good, by the sea, I like the sea. In fact, what she said was the reason for rejecting me, and I said things against my will in order to cater to her, so why bother? It's like a world of two people, her colorful, my gray, can't mix together.

After walking for a long time, I turned around and looked back, and I found that the elongated shadow was a little hideous, and I didn't know whose face it was.

For that little bit of dignity, on the train to Beijing, I texted Liu Fang and said, "I'm tired, I'll let myself fly." "I deleted Liu Fang's phone number, opened the shackles I put on myself, she left my life, and I never entered her life.

Standing in the north square of Beijing West Railway Station, looking at the steaming sky, I thought I was back in Shijiazhuang in a trance. The internship unit in Beijing is a company that sells health care products from a relative's family, mainly selling lycopene and other health care drugs that regulate human immunity, similar to brain platinum. This internship job is not very attractive to me, but I feel that what attracts me more is this city, the so-called distribution center of northern drifters. I live in Banbidian on the outskirts of the city, a clean and tidy square compound, there is a thick plane tree in the yard, nearly 50 years old, I can't hold its trunk down alone, the long branches are luxuriant, the shade is also very large, covering a large area. There are flowers, birds, insects, and fish in the yard, and there is a naughty dog called Mao Mao.

The owner of the courtyard is surnamed Yuan, and he is an authentic Beijing stubborn owner, and he likes to enjoy it, but his words and deeds give me the feeling that he is like an old rascal, not that I don't respect him, but that Uncle Yuan has always flaunted himself like this.

I go to work in Dongjin Songqiao, and every day I have to get up at half past five in the morning and leave at six o'clock. Today's luck is good, Uncle Yuan wants to go to the company and drove me with me, if you usually have to take several buses to get to the company, and before 8:30, the company's system will deduct one yuan one minute late. Coming out of Banbidian, Uncle Yuan said words full of Beijing flavor, cursing the weather. As for the understanding of the weather, I still don't know about this city, I am used to the muddy gray in Shijiazhuang, I am happy with the blue of the sky in the grassland, and I am obsessed with the vastness of the sky by the sea, and here I can't give a definition of the sky, because it has been cloudy for the past few days.

Morning may be the busiest for this city, full of busy cars, busy people, and then everyone is blocked at a fork in the road, crawling like a snail, today is no exception, but fortunately, Uncle Yuan drives, you can choose a lot of roads, and you can have time to have breakfast, or this is happiness. When I arrived at Beitang Building, just 8 o'clock, the elevator went to the 10th floor, where I worked, Beijing Jianzhijia Industry and Trade Co., Ltd., I worked in the conference department, mainly responsible for the import and export of products and order management, 8:40 will have morning training, we read the company's slogan and service tenet in the conference room. At the end of the morning training, there was basically nothing to do, and the person in charge of sales went out to run the business, and I sat at the small table by the window and looked at the different styles of tall buildings, cars, pedestrians and dogs, and the leaves swaying in the wind. It's raining lightly outside today, and the weather forecast says heavy to heavy rain in the evening, but it's local, and I didn't bring an umbrella.

What should I eat for lunch? It's always as puzzling as eating in the school canteen, I can't think of anything new, the staff meal is 10 yuan a box lunch, there is a box lunch in the building, I just call it to buy outside, I have no interest, but there is a supermarket opposite the company, go there during the lunch break, find something to eat, and save trouble. If you don't have anything to do after eating, you can sleep on the table in the company conference room, but don't let the manager find out, then you will die a miserable death. Then I waited for the end of work and took the bus back to Banbi at about 6 o'clock.

How to fly in this busy and restless city? Life is boring but also full of fun. I like to observe every pedestrian on the bus, not to watch carefully, to roughly sweep so many glances, when I meet a beautiful girl, I will take a few more glances, but I can never see how old they are, as if the women in Beijing are young and dressed very mature, and the old women are stunned there and pretend to be innocent, and they hate it very much. In addition to women, the rest are men, who can have a seat and sleep there, and if there is no seat, find a place with a woman and squeeze hard, when there are a lot of people or brakes, you can have a physical contact with a woman, it is estimated that the heart can be beautiful for a day, if the action is too fake, the white eyes of the woman, and the mouth has to smile and say, this inertia, inertia.

In this concrete city with many high-rise buildings, you and I are all passing by in a hurry, rubbing shoulders with each other, and smiling, I am just passing by.

If my thoughts are like the ocean, I swim in the deepest part of the ocean;

If my thoughts are like mountains, I stand at the highest point of the peaks.

In the past, it was like a mosquito coil that was about to burn out, with smoke lingering, but the ashes were still clear. I have spent a lot of time, in many ways, but I still can't forget all the things, whose world am I wandering in? This rainy season in Beijing, I started to drift.

Wei Lao Er went back to work at China Railway Construction Engineering in Tianjin, knew that I was interning in Beijing, and called me, saying that he wanted to introduce me to a new friend. I was ecstatic to ask for the phone and couldn't wait to get in touch with her.

In fact, I also know the person Wei Lao Er introduced to me, she is a junior school girl of foreign translation, named Liu Wei, and I have met a few times when I was translating. She now works at Beijing West Railway Station, and her post is in the ninth waiting hall, which is a waiting hall for special groups, which is generally a place for pregnant women or the elderly, weak, sick and disabled to wait for the bus. Wei Lao Er introduced her to me because he thought that it would be very convenient for me to buy a train ticket for Beijing and Shijiazhuang in the future. I want to get to know her, it's because I'm too bored in Beijing by myself, I want to find someone to talk to, and I don't want to taste the big Beijing alone.

When I was off duty on weekends, I went to Beijing West Railway Station to see Liu Wei, she went to work in several shifts, and the off-duty time was not good with my time, and I watched her standing at the door of the waiting hall from a distance, wearing a standard station uniform, and her round face was wearing a mechanical smile after training. The ninth waiting hall should be regarded as an advanced waiting hall, looking at the mobile red flag hanging next to the counter where she was, she suddenly felt that this smile was very kind. When Liu Wei saw me, she was surprised, I didn't tell her that I was coming, it was a surprise for her, I greeted her with a smile, and then waited for her to get off work.

Beijing West Railway Station is very large, Liu Wei changed into casual clothes, we walked around, just in the train station in the fast food restaurant simply eaten, she did not go to Beijing with me to play, said that the evening will take over, and then send me to the West Railway Station South Square to take the bus back to Banbidian. From then on, every time I go back and forth between Beijing and Shijiazhuang, it is Liu Wei who bought me an employee ticket, 2 yuan a mixed seat, no seat if it doesn't cost money, she goes back and forth between Beijing and Shijiazhuang without spending money and goes directly to the conductor's lounge to rest, I don't have that ability.

I still learned a lot of things in the internship in the company, and I have seen some sales methods mentioned in textbooks such as conference marketing, tourism marketing, physical examination marketing, family marketing, etc., which can be regarded as a practical battle, but unfortunately it is not a beautiful appearance as imagined, everyone has their own face, no one can say whom, out of the office we are all passers-by in each other's lives, there is no human warmth. There was a girl younger than me, in her 20s, who had been working for several years, but unfortunately her thinking seemed to be more childish than me, and I often said that she had dolphins in her head, and she didn't understand what it meant, so I told her that there was a whale behind the dolphin, and she was even more puzzled, and I almost said that her head was not just full of water, but the whole ocean.

At the end of the internship, I talked to the boss, and I said that I was leaving, and we should go through the formalities on the 24th. The boss smiled and said that I worked hard and praised me, and then looked at the attendance reward and punishment sheet, and I was fined 100 yuan for not wearing a tie for participating in the event, and signed it happily.