Lying on the bed of 526, Liu Rui and Liu Haitao and I discussed that I was going to be a soldier, imagined various situations that might be encountered, and talked about the love between the instructor during our freshman military training and the secretary of our class, and I was very yearning for my military career. They said that I was brave, brave and a bit of a wave, and I didn't know which tendon had gone wrong and wanted to be a soldier. In fact, I knew that I was running away, looking for a way to be liberated, a way to let myself go, a simple and mechanical way of life, to give my restless and troubled mind a little peace. If I could become a monk, I would probably choose this Buddhahood.

I once again told Yuan Jie what I encountered at the first time, without a trace of precaution and reservation, which shows that her position in my heart is very important and irreplaceable. Her opinion determines whether I stay or not, and when I return, she may be the only one waiting for me here.

Looking back on my unbearable ten years, some people think that my experience is bizarre, some people think I am pitiful, and some people feel that life is unfair to me. In fact, I know that life treats all people the same, and the difference is only in our respective choices.

I am like a big turnip, and like a haunting fly, flying around, showing teeth and claws. But who am I sorry for? Am I toying anyone? I thought that I lost a tree and embraced the whole forest, but in fact, in the process of growing up, there were people who were unladylike, there was love, there were vigorous, and there were gloomy forwards. Originally, my simplest, truest and most longing request was to be able to find a woman who was willing to sleep with me, for the rest of my life, but unfortunately in the end I realized how absurd my naked idea was.

If the love in my life can really be immortal, then the dust on my love for Yang must be very thick. Now when I talk about my debauchery in the first half of my life, some of my love is also involuntarily, like lightning, and I was hit before I came to my senses. No one wants to cheat before cheating, there is no way to fall in love with someone, and leaving a person may be destined to be fateful.

I hope that our love can make each other have no regrets for a lifetime.

I called Yang several times, but I still couldn't get in touch. Before I left school, Yang's mother called me, and she told me that I didn't need to contact Yang anymore, and she changed her phone number, and the old number was no longer available. Yang's mother also said that Yang was a little surprised that she gave me the letter, and complained to her, saying that the letter was in the past tense, and she didn't remember what was written, so it shouldn't count.

I didn't understand what Yang's mother's words meant, I asked her if she could tell me Yangxin's phone number, I called her myself and said, she told me no, Yang resolutely refused, she only told me that she was fine, no need to worry, her body is also recovering well, please let me live my own life, she will take care of herself, don't worry about me.

I asked a few questions, and the answer was no. Looking at the letter that Yang's mother gave me, the payment was made in September 2006, and I thought that she wrote the letter at least a long time before that time, and only then did I realize that I didn't know anything about Yang, and I didn't know what she was thinking.

Or I was told by her friend that whoever follows someone like me will not be happy.

Great joy and great sorrow, calm and happiness, my numb heart can no longer produce some ripples.

All I care about is to live.

On 30 April 2007, a short farewell ceremony was organized at the college to see off the three of us who had been conscripted.

Xiao Na and Fan Xiaobo came to see me off, the three of us hugged for a while, and I wish them a bright future, happiness and health!

Looking at the noisy crowd, I looked at Yuan Jie in the teacher team, bowed deeply to her, and then turned around with a smile and stepped on the minibus to see us off.

The car drove away, and through the window I seemed to see a girl standing next to a tree waving goodbye to us, just like a new freshman girl in the department who took care of our business when Fan Xiaobo and I experienced life and sold blankets. My ridiculous, deeply addicted narcissistic mind is back to kicking things off.

I brushed the red flowers on my chest, like fireworks blooming in the night sky, who knows, the bloom of fireworks is to embrace the night with all their lives, or just to win the indifferent smile of the person who lit the fireworks, the people who set off the fireworks are still there, but the people who watch the fireworks have long been gone, and the fireworks can only be lonely and gorgeous in the sky, and the lonely darkness in the starry night sky!

Who will remember that where the fireworks flew, when the frogs sang in the lotus pond, there were the stories we once left, our most innocent smiling faces, our rippling flowers, and our inseparable passing time.

The car is gone, I am gone, and it is a new period of youth.

I stand in early summer,

Eyes on autumn!

—————— the end of this volume——————