Before I knew it, I was going back and forth several times in front of my foreign house. Suddenly, someone behind me was shouting to me: "You are Fu Yizhuo, right?" ”

I turned around and looked at the woman in front of me, she was Yang's mother, I guess she also recognized me, I nodded and said to her, "Hello Auntie, I'm Fu Yizhuo." ”

"Oh, it's you, it's good, why don't you come and sit in the house?" My aunt looked at me and invited me to her house for a seat.

I didn't know how to answer her words, looking at her frosty white hair on her sideburns, it seemed to be much older than before, and I was afraid that Yang was at home, so I was speechless for a while, so I said: "This, is that Xu Yang at home?" ”

"She's not at home, come in, I'll get you something." After my aunt finished speaking, she let me go, and then walked in front to show me the way. Actually, I know that the foreign family is there, and I have been there twice, both when there is no one in her house. I followed behind my aunt, looking at her slightly hunched back, I had the impression that she should not be as old as she is now, and I didn't know what she was going to get me, so I had to listen to her arrangement, entered the house, and stood in the living room in a daze waiting for her.

Yang's mother went to the bedroom next to her, took out a thick envelope, and then handed it to me, she said to me: "This is my daughter gave it to you, I don't know how to find you, so I haven't given it, I look like you when I go out today, now it's okay, I'll give this to you, and I'm at ease." After she finished speaking, she rubbed her eyes, and I looked at her with tears in her eyes, and I didn't understand what was going on.

After taking the envelope that Yang gave me, I wanted to open it to see what it was, but my aunt stopped me and said, "You can take it back and look at it again." Then I made a gesture to send off the guest, and all my thoughts were on this letter, and I didn't stay, and I said hello to my aunt in a little hurry, and turned around and left Yang's house.

Out of her door, I was anxious to open the envelope to see what it was, but I couldn't stand on the side of the road to see it, so I trotted all the way to the shooting range behind her house, sat on a rock, and eagerly opened the envelope.

"Dear Yizhuo,

I don't know if I'm still qualified to call you husband, call you my lover, call you the person I want to marry the most in this life, I know I've lost this opportunity, but if you receive this letter, I think I can still expect your forgiveness, begging you to accept my apology, because it shows that you still have me in your heart, whether it is love or hate.

Now you should be asleep, I'm used to writing to you at night. I don't know what you're doing now, how are you doing, I just want to tell you, when you came to Tianjin to look for me, I saw you, I hid in the corner of the stairs on the second floor, I really wanted to rush down and hold you, but my colleague pulled me, didn't let me move, he was an uncle, he told me, if I see you, all the efforts will be in vain, the text message you sent me, he also helped me give you back, and when you left, he showed me. I know you hate me, after reading what you left me and what you said, I know that those text messages he sent you hurt you deeply, and I don't think you will forgive me in this life. ”

Seeing Yang's familiar handwriting, my heart was sour, just read this, I can't calm down, I don't know why she made such a bullshit decision in the first place, how could she let others help her send me a message, how could she say such decisive words, I had such a question when I was sitting on the train to Tianjin, now it seems that it was really not Yang talking to me at that time, I thought it was her new boyfriend, and now it seems to be her new colleague. But why, I held back my inner roar and continued to look down at her letter.

"It's been snowing all day today, and I know you love snow as much as I do, you love its color, you love the quietness when it snows, and you love the way the snow falls. I sat on my bed and looked at the snowflakes outside, wanting to stand in the snow for a while. It's a pity that I can't go out, so I have to quietly think about our bits and pieces, and think about the development history of Nanheyi.

On April 29, 2000, Nan had his first "private diary" because of his wife;

On April 30, 2000, she gave her the first "love letter";

On May 1, 2000, Nan took the initiative to invite Yu out for the first time (to reply to Yi), but Yu was not available;

On May 3, 2000, Nan sent the first "reply" to Yu;

Some time around May 27, 2000, Nan began to pay attention;

On July 13, 2000, Nan said in his diary that he was an "idiot" and was moved by him;

On August 26, 2000, Nan Tingjing said that he had drunk alcohol;

On September 3, 2000, Nan felt that the baby was back to normal;

On September 24, 2000, she got drunk on Zhou Xiaosong's birthday, and she was very sad;

On November 10, 2000, I couldn't be sure of my feelings for 囸, and when I saw the name "Wang Moumou", I seemed to be jealous!!

On November 18, 2000, the feeling of Nan was in the "trough";

On January 16, 2001, Nan recalled in the quilt that she sent her stupidly on the day of the holiday, and dreamed of kissing herself in Yuanyuan's house (the first time I had such a dream turned out to be Yi);

On November 30, 2001, Nan heard some gossip between herself and Nan, Nan was uncomfortable and unnatural;

On June 8, 2002, Nan and Yu stayed for a whole night, and Nan hugged Nan, who felt that she was not "liked", but "moved", so she said sorry;

On June 11, 2002, Nan and Jing "broke up", because of the sorrow, Nan cried;

On June 12, 2002, Nan wrote a letter to scold, Nan replied, Nan cried inexplicably, and was seen by ants (the first time he was seen by his classmates Nan's tears), Nan and Nan went to a self-study table together, Nan was very "comfortable", a little tempting;

On June 26, 2002, Nan and Yi called Nan "wife", Nan was inexplicably happy, and even suspected that he liked Yao, Nan said that he liked the feeling of being with Yao, and liked the care of Yao;

On June 27, 2002, Nan told him to study with him at night, and he was ......, Nan was a little unnatural, as if he was still blushing, Nan also read what Yu wrote, Nan felt very happy; At 9:50, I was downstairs in the dormitory to deliver food to Nan, Nan was happy, after the next night of self-study, I left first, Nan was very uncomfortable, I wanted to cry, I was afraid, I was afraid of my days without him, I was afraid that I didn't care about him, I was afraid of leaving him ......;

On July 3, 2002, I kissed Nan, I can't remember what it felt, this is Nan's first kiss, Nan only knows happiness;

On July 6, 2002, Nan and Yu went up the mountain in free activities the day before the college entrance examination, Nan was bitten a lot of pimples, Nan ran all the way to buy wind oil essence, Yu kissed Nan again, it is very clear, Nan knows what it feels like this time, Nan kissed Nan five times, Nan felt like a dream, Nan said: "Ai Nan everything from the inside out";

On July 8, 2002, Yu and Nan went to the roof during the party, and Yu did bad things again;

From July 9th to September 4th, 2002, he spent a "happy summer", Chengde, Baiyun Ancient Cave;

On September 10, 2002, Nan was in Beijing, Nan wanted to be in tears, Nan was reluctant to cry when she went online, Nan said that she was worthy of her own love, and Nan also said: "I love him, there will be no one again!" ”

Before September 18, 2002, Nan received a notice, Nan saw Yu again, and Nan shed tears in front of Yu for the first time, and Nan was leaving again;

From September 18, 2002 to November 30, 2002, Nan and Yi spent time in their thoughts;

From December 1st to 5th, 2002, Nan was frightened, Nan suddenly ran back, because Nan wanted to do, Nan shed tears in front of Nan again, and she almost did something bad, but ......;

December 6, 2002 - January 14, 2003, Miss ......

On the evening of January 14, 2003, Nan was able to be with Ni again, and Nan gave Ni the scarf she knitted, as well as the little pig, and Ni seemed to have not slept all night;

January 14, 2003 - February 19, 2003, a happy holiday;

On February 20, 2003, Nan gave herself completely to Nan, Nan is very happy, Nan and Yi will be together forever;

On February 22, 2003, Nan and Yu billiards were tied, and Nan hoped that he would leave happily and not want to shed tears again......"

Looking at these times recorded by the ocean, thinking back to the bits and pieces of our past, how did the happiness and beauty at the beginning come to this point? How did the once beautiful promise of meeting and knowing each other change its flavor?

Looking at every day, every time period, and every event she recorded, it seems to have happened yesterday, vividly, I still remember many things, but many things have forgotten the time, I don't remember when I hugged her for the first time, the time I kissed her for the first time, the time of the first time we kissed each other, and the blank time of all kinds flashed in my head.

I remember the first time we spent the night outside and stayed in a small hotel in the alley next to the bus station; I remember her sneaking back from school to surprise me by staying with me in a hotel inside the cinema; I remember that during the holidays, we went to Chengde, Baiyun Ancient Cave, and went to the same school to spend the night, and a group of people were crazy lying on a kang; I remember her snuggling up in my arms and saying to me, "I love you and will always love you!" ”

This damn love, why is it tormenting me so much!