I felt busy in the days after I decided to go to further study, because I was in a hurry this time, so I started to prepare things directly.

Since I was going, I decided to go to the Imperial Capital Hospital to have a good look, but Jing Xin was ready to go directly to the nearest Provincial People's Hospital.

The week before the training is to pick up the children at home, go to the parents' house to eat, clean at home, and tidy up the room.

"Lin Jia, let's go back to your house." I took advantage of Lin Jia's night shift and was at home during the day to prepare for a trip back.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, I'm going to study, I need to go back, I have to talk to my family."

"Okay, let's pack up and go back."

I went back for a long time and chatted with Lin Jia's parents, and the two of us hurriedly drove back.

"Xia Fei." Lin Jia smoked a cigarette while driving.

"What's wrong?"

"If I hadn't done these wrong things, would you still divorce me?"

"Hmm......" I thought about it seriously, "Lin Jia, you are very good, you are very good, I have always regarded you as the sun, as the sky, but it was not until the day I decided to go to further study that I figured it out, whether the two of us are together or not, what I should do is not to be attached to you, not only money does not depend on you, but more importantly, I hope that I will give myself a sense of security instead of asking you every day, Lin Jia, do you love me?" I think you're not happy with this kind of life, but I'm not happy either. ”

"So?" Lin Jia glanced at me.

"So, even if you don't have Feng Nannan and you don't have a loan, I think I will get divorced, because I am not mature enough, I have to get it from you, I think this is not enough, I hope the two of us can stand on the same steps and see the same scenery."

I smiled and put my hands behind my head, "Neither you nor my life should elevate love to the whole of life, it's not interesting." ”

Lin Jia didn't speak again, I knew in my heart that I should let go, as for Lin Jia asked me before, whether we would be together again, these are left to time, at least now I can't be with him until I am not strong enough to forgive his mistakes.

When I got home, Lin Jia took out a card and handed it to me, "You put this away." ”

"What is this?"

"This is the money for every time I go out for these months. I have stored it all in here, you have to go out to study, eat well, drink well, don't always think about saving money, you take the money here, you don't have to worry about anything at home, Mom and Dad have me here. ”

As soon as Lin Jia said this, the tip of my nose counted, and I even wanted to cry.

"What are you crying about, look at your cowardice, you have been out for four months, and before you have left, you are cowardly."

"It's all your fault, what kind of love are you fanning nonsense." I pretended to be angry.

"Where is the sensationalism." Lin Jia smiled and stretched out his hand, "Xia Fei, let me hug it, just think of it as my brother hugging my own sister." ”

"Okay." I fell on Lin Jia's chest, tears streaming down my face. This man, I have loved for so many years, and now although we are separated, I know that the feelings between us are constantly separated, because it has long surpassed love, and there is family affection between us.

Soon it was time for further study, Lin Jia drove me to the imperial capital, my father and mother and two children went with me, on the way, several of us drove very slowly, each service area stopped, and it took almost a day to drive.

This time, I stayed in the same hotel as last time, look at the hotel, look at Lin Jia, my mood is a little different.

I gently shook Lin Jia's hand, "Brother, is this a revisit?" ”

Lin Jia smiled and didn't speak.

The days of further study were very fulfilling, every day was to go to surgery, write notes, and wait until the end of the operation in the middle of the night.

Occasionally talking to Lin Jia on the phone, the most talked about is the children, the two children are very obedient, and they basically don't have much effort at home. In order to take care of the children and parents, Lin Jia moved in with my mother and father.

Four months passed like this, back to Corey. Shen Jia resigned because of the matter with the dean's son, and in the end, there was no junior in the end.

Jing Xin was still the same, Vivien was at ease in the bar, and Lin Jia and I were still under the same roof.

The two of us don't see each other often during the day because of work, and after work at night, we accompany the children to do homework, cook and eat together, just like a brother and sister relationship, not love.

Both of us are trying to make money and waiting for the day when we will pay it back.

And in this winter, among the competition for head nurses in the whole hospital, I got the top grades, and with the blessing of this year's further study, I was considered to be the head nurse, and fortunately I was not assigned to other departments, but as the deputy head nurse in our department.

Lei Ming also went to the Provincial Health Department after the New Year, and according to his life plan, step by step, never stopped.

All of us are on our own trajectories, continuing to live, I don't know if people have changed, but I know that my biggest change is to grit my teeth and try to get myself out of my own atrium and take a breath to see the outside world.

I know that many people don't understand that I didn't divorce Lin Jia before, and I still live under the same roof with Lin Jia, but Vivien told me that life is my own, no one knows my situation better than myself, life can't be perfect everywhere, the only thing we can do is to follow our hearts and follow our own choices.

I think I will work harder in the future, because Mango is about to go to primary school, and I don't have more money to choose a better study environment for her, so I can only work harder on her weekdays.

I think life will get better in the future.

The place where I used to jump off the building has been redeveloped and turned into a resort area, and occasionally passing by, looking at the happy appearance of tourists makes me feel that life is really good.

I think whether you are like me, you are confused, lost, confused, please don't lose your enthusiasm for life.

To understand what is the dream that you have always held on to in your heart? Keep hinting to yourself that it will get better, it will always get better, can it be worse than now?

Life is more courageous than death, and it is this courage that makes life look more charming.

And Feng Nannan, what happened to Lin Jia, I don't know, I don't want to ask anymore, and I don't want to know. Feng Nannan's road, she wants to go by herself, I can't decide.

Just like myself, no one can help me, I have to come out on my own.

As for me and Lin Jia, what will happen in the future, I don't know, now I will only urge Lin Jia to continue to work hard towards his previous dream, continue to move forward, be an excellent doctor, and be a good father.

If one day, I will go back to marriage, then I must start again without any scars.