On the way home, I said to Lin Jia, "Lin Jia, let's talk." Lin Jia said while driving, "What's wrong?" ”

"I ...... I don't think we're going to solve the problem. I paused, thinking it might be better to say it.

After waiting for a red light, he turned to look at me, "Do you think there is a problem between us?" ”

"Isn't there a problem between us? It's always arguing, whether it's you, or Mom, I always have to fight against you, and after it's over, you turn around and apologize to me, beg me for forgiveness, do you think it's always good like this? ”

Lin Jia didn't speak, I repeated all the things that happened recently over and over again in my mind, good and bad, and even thought that in the end I had done it if the two of us collapsed because of these trivialities, it would be better to separate. Because the meaning of love itself should be to make people feel happy, not physically and mentally exhausted.

I sat sadly in the car, looking at the backward scenery outside the car, and suddenly felt my heart rate increase and even gasp, so I breathed hard, as if I wanted to suck the last breath of thin oxygen in the car into my lungs. Lin Jia quickly stopped the car.

"Xia Fei, Xia Fei" I could hear Lin Jia calling me, but because of breathing, I couldn't answer or speak, I panted heavily, tears dripped on my own legs, and my eyes suddenly went dark, I couldn't see or hear anything. I groped my way around, trying to grab Lin Jia for a little comfort.

Finally I grabbed Lin Jia's arm next to me, I still didn't stop my big breath, Lin Jia held my shoulder and shook me hard, I wanted to answer him, but it was as if someone was choking my neck, unable to breathe, unable to speak.

This process lasted about ten minutes, and I could gradually see the blurred figure of Lin Jia beside me again, and I could hear Lin Jia still shouting my name, and my breathing gradually stabilized.

"Lin Jia" I was hoarse because of overventilation, and shouted with my remaining strength, "Lin Jia, I'm fine, stop screaming, let me slow down." ”

Lin Jia held my hand and sat quietly beside me, not daring to make any sound. Gradually, my whole body calmed down, "I just suddenly felt shortness of breath, my heart rate was too fast, and then I couldn't see or hear, but now it's okay, it's fine, let's drive." ”

"It's okay, it's okay," patted my hand and slowly started the car. The car drove into the underground garage, and I was ready to wait for Lin Jia to open the door and lock the car and get out of the car.

"I'm not a person who can speak well, I've always wanted to find a balance between you and my mother so that I and you are comfortable, I know you have suffered a lot of grievances, but that person is my mother, my mother who gave birth to me and raised me, how can I make her sad. So, I can only ......"

"So I can only choose to make me sad again and again, right? Because she's my mom now, too. "I'll interrupt Lin Jia." Okay, I understand, let's go home" I didn't say anything more, unbuckled my seat belt, and waited for Lin Jia to unlock the car door.

"Feifei, I ......"

"Open the door, I'm going home," I interrupted Lin Jia again, "Everything before today has been turned over, and today's matter is just when I didn't say anything." Now I just want to go home and see the kids. ”

When I opened the door to the house, I heard Mango call my mom and saw the grinning little cream on the crawling mat, and suddenly I felt that nothing was a problem. I just want to see these two children grow up healthy and happy.

I didn't say a word during the meal, I washed the dishes after eating, and took the children back to the house, as if it was just me and the children at home. I don't know how to talk to my mother-in-law, and I'm not in the mood to chat with Lin Jia. There is also the innocent laughter of children in the house to hide the embarrassment between adults.

In order to avoid Lin Jia, I took Xiao Cream to coax Mango to sleep. I saw Lin Jia showing his head at the door of the mango room, "Can I come in?" Princess Mango. ”

"Wow, it's Dad, come in, come in, it's so lively tonight, everyone is with me, I'm so happy." Mango got excited to get out of the quilt"

"Go in," I frowned, shouting at Mango. Mango saw me frowning, pouting and reluctantly burrowing into the bed again.

"What are you yelling at kids? I'm just here to see if you're asleep. ”

"Then you take the mango to sleep, I'll go back to the house first, it's almost time for Little Cream to breastfeed." I leaned over and kissed Mango's forehead, "Baby, good night, Mommy didn't mean it just now." Mom is afraid that you just got cold after taking a bath, okay, Mom is going to take the cream and leave, now let Dad relay to take care of the mangoes, okay? ”

Kiss goodbye to Mango and take the little cream back to the room. I patted and slept while feeding, but recently because of the large number of surgeries, I couldn't get off work on time during the feeding time, so it was already night when I often came back. Because the little cream has not been seen for too long, it has become extremely clingy, and even learned to milk sleep.

I had no choice but to share a bed with the two of us temporarily. I had just put Xiao Cream to sleep, and Lin Jia crept in, "Did you sleep?" "Hmm." "Then move her to the crib" "No, I don't want to get up in the middle of the night to breastfeed." "Can I get up in the middle of the night and feed her milk powder?" No need for you to get up. ”

"Forget it, I don't want to bother."

"Oh, wife, I can't even hold you to sleep in the middle of her sleep recently. Otherwise, you let her sleep on your side, there is a bed block anyway. ”

Lin Jia swore not to move away and resolutely not to sleep. I didn't want to argue with him at night, so I gently moved the little cream to the side of the bed, I lay down in the middle, and Lin Jia lay down and hugged me, "It's so good, I feel like I haven't hugged you for a century." ”

"Sleep" I didn't want to talk to him. Turn off the light, sleep, after a while, there was the sound of Lin Jia's even breathing, I knew that he had fallen asleep, but today I had insomnia.

In fact, I was really uncomfortable when I went home with nothing to say. I'm not a fake person, and in my world, I like black and white. When I was in school, and I still am, my mother always taught me that where in the world there are so many people, black or white, most of the time, most people live in a gray color that is not clearly defined.

I have always disagreed with this, I hope that the world is clear about right and wrong, and when you are wrong, you should have the responsibility and courage to admit it, because only by recognizing mistakes can you stop making mistakes. I didn't expect Lin Jia to say to me that it was his mother's words. I hope he can tell me a good picture of what is right and what is wrong.

As the minutes ticked by, I was still suffering from insomnia, because of these problems that I had thought were not problems, I forced myself to stop thinking about it, but even if my mind stopped, I still couldn't sleep. I didn't live with my mother-in-law before, and the relationship was okay, but I never thought that now, I would let me go-for-tat.

When I think of Lin Jia's sister-in-law and my mother-in-law, I can feel a cloud of anger in my heart again. Don't think, don't think, they're not worth my insomnia, I kept chattering, I don't know how long it took for me to gradually calm down and make myself feel less sad.