"It's okay, Xia Fei, it will always pass, if you really don't want to be hospitalized, I will follow up on your condition, I have been with Lin Jia for so long, I won't watch you have an accident." I hope to launch donations to Lin Jia in the group of classmates, and it must be difficult to support your family by relying on your strength alone. ”

"No, Zhang Teng, thank you, I can do it myself, please don't bring sympathy to your work, I just hope you can take care of my illness, life is my own, I can, you don't need to launch donations, I think if Lin Jia wakes up, he will think the same." Please don't tell anyone about this, I don't need to donate, I don't want people to know that Lin Jia is lying down. ”

After saying this, I took out my medical card and motioned to Zhang Teng to prescribe medicine for me, and after explaining the dosage, I left Zhang Teng's consultation room and went home to take the medicine.

I didn't go to see Lin Jia, I don't want to lose control of my emotions in front of outsiders again, I hope everyone sees me as a strong me, an independent me, and a me who can carry everything.

On the way out of the hospital, I called my mother and said that I would go back later, and that my family had been in a mess recently, and that I was a reassuring person on weekdays, so my mother didn't ask much.

I drove back to the hospital and walked to Vivian's bar. Night had just arrived, the street lights hadn't come on yet, and the damn day was still cold.

"Give me a cup of ginger tea, I don't want to drink." I said to Vivien, who was lazy behind the bar.

"Xiao Ming, make a cup of ginger tea and send it out" Vivian shouted inside, and then walked out of the bar, Vivian was very different today, she cut her long hair into a medium-long hair perm wool curls, parted in the middle, and wore a big exotic scarf on her body, which looked beautiful.

"You look cold," Vivien said to me, lighting a cigarette.

"Yes, I'm going to die of cold every time I swap seasons." The waiter handed over the ginger tea, and I took a quick sip, "It's hot, but it's refreshing." ”

"Looks like I'm in a better mood. I was absent-minded and couldn't listen to persuasion before, what's the matter? Want to open it today? ”

"No, I just went to the doctor and felt like I had some direction."

"That's good." Vivien never took the initiative to ask me about things, I didn't say she didn't ask, this is obviously a tacit understanding between adults, are the two of us friends? I don't know, because we've never left each other's phone calls, WeChat, or even any other communication where we can find each other, and the only thing we know is this bar.

But she gave me comfort and advice when I came to the bar on my first day with a broken heart. Is she a trustworthy person? I think so. Maybe it's because she's not from the hospital, I have a lot to say, so I dare to say it to her, after all, with Jingxin, I still need to have reservations.

Thinking of Jing Xin, I am a little worried, my attitude towards Jing Xin today, I don't know if Jing Xin will be unhappy, I don't talk to her because I hate her, not because of anything else, it's just that I'm still sad in the shadow of professional exposure, I'm afraid that if I really get infected and get too close to her, I will let her be infected.

I actually wanted to explain to her today, but I didn't know how to speak well, and when the words came to my mouth, I swallowed them back again.

"What do you want to be in a daze?" Vivien waved her hand at me, "Instead of living in worry every day, let's treat every day as if it was the last day to live hard, there are no guests at this time, why don't you go up and sing a song, be presumptuous, after all, my sound is first-class." ”

"Is that okay?"

"Why not?" Vivien asked me with a squint.

Vivien shouted "Come down and practice" to the second floor, and after a few minutes, she saw her band members seated. "This is my sisters, let's sing a song with her, anyway, you are idle when you are idle."

When I saw the band members, I was inexplicably nervous, after all, I had never sung live, after all, I was not professional, after all, it was the level of singing KTV.

Vivien patted me on the shoulder and shoved me out, go ahead, it'll be fine.

Vivian snapped her fingers, and the music rang, it was an English song I was familiar with, "when you're gone", Vivian sat in the lead singer's position with the microphone, "I always needed time on my own....."

With the familiar melody remembered, I slowly plunged into it with Vivian's soft hum, Vivian handed me the microphone, I actually sang unemotionally, the atmosphere light on my head rotated and flickered, suddenly I couldn't tell the difference between reality and dream, I really hope this is a dream, wait for me to wake up, everything will be over; Of course, this can not be a dream, as long as the status quo is maintained and the situation does not continue to be bad.

One song after another, I sang several songs in a row under the leadership of Vivien. Halfway through, I sat back in my seat and poured a large cup of ginger tea into my stomach in one go, with the heat of ginger, I suddenly felt that my heart seemed to warm up, plus the vigorous singing on the small stage just now, the qi in my heart seemed to disappear a lot.

I wrapped my coat and scarf around and said goodbye to Vivina.

"Why do you wear sunglasses on a big night?" Vivien asked me, puffing on a smoke ring.

"No, I just don't feel safe in my heart, and I feel like everyone is looking at me."

She laughed and ripped my scarf and eyes away, "Actually, when you wrap yourself up like a chicken thief, people will be more likely to pay attention to you." You're just a knot in your own heart, who will pay attention to you when people are so busy now, or in other words, you may not even be a fart, so what should you do? Is AIDS going on? I don't sleep with you, I don't have children with you, and I don't know with you by dripping blood, why do you infect me, it doesn't matter if we are just a pot of hot pot. Hurry home, middle-aged woman, don't be so pretentious. ”

I still wanted to speak, but she gagged again, "Live your spirit, don't look like you're going to die every day, there are no men and children, I don't have a man, I don't have children, I haven't cried, why are you crying." ”

I nodded at her and waved my hand out of the bar.

I thought I was going to get drunk, I thought I was going to suffer the injustice of fate, but I didn't expect to leave a little easily in the end.

Driving home, Mango had fallen asleep, but Little Cream hadn't slept yet, I carried Little Cream and Mango to my bed, and my mother said, "Is Lin Jia having an accident?" ”

While helping Cream undress, I said to my mother, "No, Mom, don't worry. ”

"Feifei, if there is anything, you have to tell me, you can't carry it alone, I'm your mother, and my mother will bear it for you when the sky falls."

"Hey, I know Mom, don't worry, my daughter is strong, I still have my mother and father, and two children, I won't fall down if I say anything, Mom, don't worry." I took my mother's hand and said solemnly.

My mother took me into her arms, "How can you rest assured, pity the parents of the world, you are my child even when you grow to eighty, and your mother protects you like this." ”

"Don't be sensational, I'm depressed, I can't stand sensationalism," I laughed at myself.

"you, it's not in shape, go to bed early," my mother thought that maybe it wasn't too serious.

When my mother left, I quietly exhaled, and only then did I feel that my chest was slightly relaxed, and I don't know when it became difficult to face my family.