Routinely seeing a doctor once a week and taking medicine on time three times a day, the whole person became chaotic. I'm only 28 years old, and I don't want my life to be left with endless visits to the doctor and medications. To defeat this disease, I think I should pull myself together instead of relying on these outside forces. After the decision, I was ready to talk to Lin Jia.

After putting my daughter to sleep at night, I went back to my room and said to Lin Jia, who was reading, "Lin Jia, I'm going to stop the treatment"

Lin Jia put down the book in his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with his hand, and he could see that he was very tired but still gently asked me why.

I sat in front of the dresser and combed my hair, and said casually, "Look at me now, I am a living dead, I will not be sad and angry when I get it through medicine, and at the same time, it means that I have given up my happiness, I have almost no emotions, I have lost interest in everything around me, I can't concentrate on the operation, because I will be sleepy, I don't want to go on like this, I hope to start over and live back to myself." ”

I even got excited as I spoke, this disease made me easily sad, and suddenly I felt very wronged, why was it me who was sick, why wasn't it some other disease, not depression, I didn't want me to be unable to control my life. Thinking of this, I hid my face and wept.

Lin Jia helped me try to adjust my breathing, he brought me a cup of hot water, and the two of us didn't speak, just sat quietly. I don't know how long it took, but he got up and took out a cigarette and lit it in front of the windowsill. I saw him take a hard puff of cigarette and said slowly, "Xia Fei, look, you still can't control your emotions, you will cry, you will be anxious, this is not like you." In the past, you were very sunny and liked to chat with people, but now? You're hiding from your colleagues, you're hiding from your friends, and I don't see any signs of getting better. I've had a moment where I almost lost you, and I don't want to do it all over again. Regarding this matter, we may need to discuss it again, and I have been reflecting that I am busy with surgery every day, and it is wrong for me to throw all the elderly and children in the family to you, and I will try to spend more time with you and my daughter in the future. ”

I think it's a kid who thinks he's come up with a good idea and tries to share it with adults. But the adults told me that this was not possible, and I was a little depressed, and sat on the dresser and refused to sleep.

Lin Jia held my hands and squatted in front of me, he said, "I shouldn't have said such things to you, Xia Fei, I'm just too scared of losing you again, I hope you can get better completely and go back to that time when our family of three was very happy." ”

Lin Jia explained, I couldn't listen to a word, I wanted to prove it to him, and I wanted to prove it to myself.

I suddenly raised my head and took his hand, "Lin Jia, I'll try this time, if I start to have insomnia, or become more anxious, I will definitely tell you if it's okay, I will definitely be treated again." ”

Lin Jia looked into my eyes, "Xia Fei, I'm worried"

"Please don't worry, okay? I don't want to see everybody treat me with care anymore, it makes me feel like I'm not a normal person, I really feel like I can control it, because now I know it, I know it, I know what's wrong with me. Can you really give me a chance? ”

Lin Jia nodded with a sigh, and agreed to my request.