I said to Mr. An how did I get over those seven years, and I didn't feel that it was difficult to endure it. But now that we've only met for a few days, I miss you more than when I didn't.

It's rare that Mr. An didn't make fun of me because of my direct confession this time, but said that he felt the same way. He asked me if he wanted to come to Sydney to accompany me, and I reluctantly rejected his offer because of his work, but Mr. Ann was worried about what I would misunderstand him about the nightmare before, and repeatedly confirmed to me that it was okay before he could rest assured.

At that time, I was immersed in the joy of reuniting with him after a long absence, and we talked to each other and confirmed the relationship, just like every pair of lovers who have experienced separation and re-meeting, trapped in the sweetness of love, unable to extricate themselves from longing for each other, imagining the beauty of tomorrow and the joy of meeting again, and there is no time to pay attention to or see the problems between ourselves.

Thinking about it now, in fact, we had just met again at that time, and we have all experienced those things that the other party has not participated in over the years, and what changes have not been seen by the other party, concepts, attitudes, goals, ideas and habits have changed in this long period of time, but we have not had time to re-understand each other, and we have already accepted it. So the later meeting, because of the blank these days, caused by the big and small problems, all of which should be exposed and not exposed at the first time, were actually predictable.

After the busiest month of March, April gradually became empty. Ge

It was the first time to follow me on a tour, and the moment I got off the plane and stepped on the familiar land of Vancouver, I couldn't help but confide in me that I used to feel tired when I was taking pictures and films, but now I know what it is like to be tired after the tour.

Opening a touring exhibition is a difficult problem from the beginning of the topic selection, and then the process planning, layout and arrangement, each step needs to communicate and communicate, confirm and confirm, and ensure the smooth flow of channels from top to bottom. In the process of touring the exhibition, it is necessary to deal with all stakeholders in the venue, to deal with media reporters from all directions, and to accept the test of the works by the public and peers. Not to mention how hard the professional manager's work is, even if it is an occasion after an occasion, it is almost boring and crazy.

I asked Ge

e: "Then would you rather go with me in the wind and rain, or would you rather accompany me to fly east, west, north and south?"

Ge

E frowned for a moment, and then said: "The former is free and expansive, and every journey is full of freshness and excitement. The latter can meet people in different professional fields and increase a lot of knowledge. ”

I said, "Isn't that inaccurate?" ”

Ge

E shook his head: "I can't say." ”

"Anyway, I don't have to do a single choice anyway, right? I'll follow you wherever you go. ”Ge

E told me very seriously.

I still say, "If you can endure hardship, you can stay." ”

Her eyes suddenly brightened, and she shook my arm: "I found that I was really lucky. ”

Although my job belongs to the Academy of Fine Arts, because I am an independent photographer, I only work as a photographic editor in the academy, and occasionally go to school to teach a few electives (usually summer courses). Before returning to Vancouver, Global Geographic invited me to help them make a program related to extreme survival, and they negotiated with the TV station to ask real people to volunteer for adventures, and the layout and content of the magazine's documentary were reviewed and compiled by the special photographer, and the program editing was reviewed by the TV station, and the magazine's editorial office participated in the special participation.

Originally, I agreed to follow this show, the first reason is because of my friendship with the editor-in-chief of the magazine, and the second is that they agreed to my conditions, as a special guest photographer, I only need to do follow-up shooting, and I will not need to appear on camera. But after the producer communicated with my leader, even though I was reluctant at first, I finally agreed that they would edit more than 20 minutes of footage for me and my team in the last episode of the show.

In order for the Academy of Fine Arts to get the attention of the society, it needs exposure and topics, and the contribution that an idle writer like me can make to the Academy is probably to take this opportunity to help our Academy of Fine Arts to publicize. Because school hasn't started yet, when the show is finished, I'll basically be completely idle.

I give Ge

E had a long vacation, her father's body had a little problem, and he needed to be admitted to the hospital to arrange surgery, and she was not at ease at leaving two elderly people at home at this time. I especially understand the feeling of being sick when a loved one is sick and can't wait to give up everything to take care of and accompany him, hoping that I can alleviate his pain, so I talked to Ge

E said she could wait until she had taken care of everything at home before coming back, Ge

E arranged my trip for the next two months, and she flew back to Korea the next day.

I spent half a month at home, repeatedly checking the photos taken in my camera along the way, some of which were imported directly into my computer, looking at the folders, and finding that there were still photos taken years ago. I will pick out some that I am satisfied with, and some that I am not satisfied with and feel to go to the dark room to rinse, usually for half a day.

A few days ago, in an interview, a reporter from a news outlet asked me what my shooting plans were for the second half of the year and when I would hold another solo photo exhibition, and I didn't answer her. When my former mentor asked me similar questions, I couldn't answer them. It's not that I'm too busy to think about what I'm planning for the second half of the year or even the year ahead, it's that I can't think of anything at all. Even in the past two months, I haven't even taken photos that make me particularly happy and feel good.

The inheritance and loss of garden culture, the relationship between man and nature, faith and journey, the distance of dreams and the imprisonment of reality, the beautiful scenery of those submarine cliffs, and the distant and vast starry sky of the universe, I have photographed them, and I think the theme I will continue to shoot next is people. But I don't know which group to focus my work on, maybe I haven't met this group of people in my life, so I don't have the urge and feeling to start.

One of my seniors in graduate school was about to set off for Hoh Xil to shoot a special issue on wildlife protection. This topic has attracted a lot of attention in society in recent years, and he did a lot of research when he was in school, and he was very confident and asked me if I wanted to participate.

I said that if I want to go to Hoh Xil, I should choose a good time, enjoy the beautiful plateau scenery with a beautiful mood, walk all the way and shoot all the way, and think about nothing.

"How?" He wondered, "Do you think this topic doesn't appeal to you enough?" ”

"On the contrary, it's a very attractive topic and a lot of social interest," I said. ”

"Why is that?"

"According to a survey, there have been at least three batches of independent photographers or photography teams who have returned from no man's land this month." I paused and joked, "I don't know if the people at the conservation station are going to protect photographers or wildlife anymore." ”

The senior was silent for a while, and I felt that he was talking a little heavy, obviously his intentions were good, and I also believed that his ability and influence would definitely bring more attention to the survival plight of ordinary and great heroes and wild animals. So I explained to him: "I mean that no man's land is not as dangerous as imagined, but as long as illegal hunting and trafficking of wild animals still exists, no man's land will not be as peaceful as imagined, and the work of the protection station and the protection station will not be so safe." ”

The senior couldn't hide his anxiety: "Go deep into the hinterland of no man's land and shoot the most realistic wildlife conservation work, and you can't do it without the work of the conservation station." How to stand out from a group of works with the same theme is also a headache. ”

His eyes looked straight at me through the computer screen: "Su."

Y, in terms of emotional resonance, and in the processing of pictures, you are more talented than me, and I need you. ”

I think what he really thinks in his heart is that I can shoot and write, and I am the best at narrative analysis, and pictures with stories and words with stories are the easiest to "deceive people". He didn't really agree with my textual translation of pictures, and thought that I was easy to take advantage of and avoid disadvantages, and he also knocked me many times for this, but he also said that he envied and admired me.

I was the same person as my mentor during graduate school, and the teacher used to evaluate us in front of both of us. The senior's personality is more rational, and I am more emotional. His photographs are intensely passionate, clear in style, and extremist. I am bland and clear, sophistry is untrue, hazy and extremist. As far as the art of photography is concerned, I am less than him, and I can't catch up with the day after tomorrow, and in terms of image processing ability, he is better than me, and I can't catch up with the day after tomorrow.

In the past, my teacher once suggested to us that the photographer should keep the most intuitive feeling of the picture, and that there is no need to think about it when the camera is raised, and that the final return to the truth of the work is to balance in the middle. Therefore, it is not necessary to be poor to be thought-provoking, not to go to extremes to be mediocre, nor to have people with thoughts and temperature, and only with depth of connotation can they be readable. For this reason, he did not hesitate to criticize me for attaching too much importance to the sense of picture and story in my early works, although my work style has always been story-oriented and the best at it, and my works are also based on idealism, but in his opinion, "over" is suspected of grandstanding. He also criticized the senior's enthusiasm for being in full swing, spontaneously combusting, and then the ideal was buried in the ashes, and the residual temperature could not bring the heat, too idealistic, and also commented on my business trend, too hasty.

I can't deny that, when you get into the public eye, you have to think about your business value.

Since the commercial value is determined by the public's taste and social needs, the public likes and enjoys it, and then let this value serve the work. Since ideals are easy to be ridiculed and reality is easy to be despised, why not talk about ambitions. After the ambition is realized, the ideal is still the reality, or the middle balance, no matter which choice naturally has its own reason, who cares which faction you are, and maliciously slanders you. I mentioned to the teacher that he seemed to wake up from a dream, so he admitted that he was half right and I was half right. But I didn't go astray, and I did benefit from his tireless advice.

The senior also said that I was smarter and more capable than him. We were both very sober idealists, but I think he fits this definition better than I do, so that's why I respect and admire him.

Life mentors and friends are fortunate to have this.

In the end, I still didn't agree to go to Hoh Xil with my seniors, because I couldn't get out of the way because of the work arrangement. The senior said that when he came back, we would have to meet once, and I promised to do so if he could spare a little time after July. He asked me about my recent work and arrangements, and before going offline, he asked me if I had any suggestions for him.

I was holding a photo of me and my teacher standing at the entrance of the campus that he had taken for me on graduation day, and I suddenly remembered that I didn't even take a photo with him alone that day. I'll have to make up for it on the day we meet, I thought to myself.

Regarding the confusion of the seniors, I said, "Do you know that in writing, there are two ways to describe people or scenes: frontal description and side description? ”

The senior said, "What do you mean ......?"

I said, "It's simple. For example, if you want to photograph the deplorable life of the slums, then you can also photograph the poor and extravagant areas of the rich as a backdrop. In the forbidden area of life, if you want to shoot life perseverance and tenacity, then not only the protectors who patrol here, but also the animals, lakes, mountains, flowers and plants. If you want to shoot faith, it's too much, in Hoh Xili, in Qiangtang, in Altyn, every inch of land there, every way of life exists is a faith in itself. ”

"Yes." Senior said.

But we all know all this, and what we can see is the easiest, and how to interpret it is not enough. Then let the photographer record and retain the most realistic and intuitive pictures with photos, so that a thousand readers can have a thousand thoughts and opinions.