On the first day of flying to Sydney, I slept because of jet lag. I slept from 11 o'clock in the afternoon to 11 o'clock in the middle of the night, and when I woke up, there was no light in the bedroom, only the alarm clock that the phone was not turned off rang again, and it was shimming.

Before going to bed, the half-opened windows were closed, the curtains were drawn, and a wall lamp was left in the living room. Ge

E left dinner and a note in the restaurant, which read: Sister Xiaoxi, if you wake up and remember to eat, what is there to call me. I looked at the insulated box, and she prepared me mashed potatoes and duck soup, both of which I had mentioned on the way to eat.

I hadn't eaten since the afternoon, but I had no appetite and I didn't feel hungry at this time. I had a nightmare just now, and I was surprised to wake up in addition to being a little depressed, and feeling irritable, panicked, and uncontrollable urge to vent. That's when I was convinced for the first time that I was going to be well.

I texted Mr. An before take-off and Mr. An replied quickly. Their team's bidding for south San Francisco has closed and has returned to Ann Arbor. Flying to London this time, of course, was to meet with other team members at the company's headquarters, but fortunately, things were successfully completed, and Mr. An will be busy with the revision of the design draft and the supervision of the construction work for the next few months.

It was early in the morning in Ann Arbor, and when the phone was picked up, Mr. Ahn's voice was lazy and a little nasal.

When the plane landed at Sydney International Airport, Mr. An made a phone call, but as soon as I arrived, I was dragged to socialize and couldn't say a few words. Mr. An complained over there: "He Xi, after 8 hours, you finally remembered me, and I waited until I fell asleep." ”

I explained to Mr. An that I was too tired from work, too sleepy, and because the dinner was too boring.

"Still sleepy?"

"I just woke up." I said, "Do you want to sleep a little longer?" ”

I heard Mr. An turn over and turn on the light, and he said on the phone, "No, I'll get up and exercise later." ”

I didn't know that he still had the habit of exercising early, so I asked, "What exercise?" ”

Mr. Ann said, "Run the playground. ”

I remember that when I used to study, I was very poor at sports, and I usually didn't like to exercise, and every time it was time for the physical fitness test, I was crammed to scratch my feet, and I was barely pressed on the passing line. Later, when I was in the third year of junior high school, I was also worried, afraid that my sports grades would drag me back and I wouldn't be able to go to the school I wanted to go to. Mr. An took the initiative to take on the role of sparring partner at that time, and he ran from home to my house at 7 o'clock on weekend mornings, called me up from the bed, and pulled me to accompany him to the moat to run, skipping rope, and he would not let people go home without training for half an hour every day.

In the last semester of the third year of junior high school, Mr. An insisted on exercising with me, from Monday to Sunday, almost rain or shine. In addition to the morning, if I got down early for self-study one night, Mr. An would hang my schoolbag and his schoolbag on the football net rack, and he would also drag me to the playground with him. I couldn't run, he was following behind and pretending to step on my heels, but instead of really stepping on them, he shouted cheers in the back. Tired of running, the two of them fell to the grass, and when they looked up, they saw that the sky was vast and the sky was full of stars.

At that time, I never noticed that the stars in the night sky were so bright and beautiful, and I never thought that it was so rare for two people to lie together like this. Just as soon as I turned my head, I saw his eyes like the stars, and when I touched the palms of my hands, they were each other's young and hot heartbeats.

We both deserted, and Mr. Ann seemed to recall that time as much as I did.

"He Xi, what are you thinking?" Mr. Ann asked me.

I said, "Had a nightmare. ”

"What did you dream about?"

"I dreamed that you left me on the train, got off the train alone and left, and didn't look back. I waited where I was, and I didn't see you coming. ”

I closed my eyes, as if I could still feel how helpless and hopeless I was in my dreams, and the pain was overwhelming, and finally I was left with a sadness that was empty both physically and mentally.

Mr. An seemed to be stunned for a moment, and then smiled: "How come?" Dreams are reversed. ”

He sensed that my mood was wrong, and hurriedly said, "He Xi, there will never be anything you dreamed of. ”

I knew, but the dream only told him half of it. Then I waited and waited for him, not knowing why I woke up and lay in the lying rail, I had a premonition of danger, and I wanted to get up, but I couldn't even lift a finger. I don't want to die under the wheels and become a ghost who died in vain, but I want to have countless hands behind me who want to pull me into the Infernal Hell.

Thinking of this, I suddenly seemed to wake up. It was just a nightmare without logic, it was my mental illness, which made me make a fuss and lose my sense of security, but I also suffered from gains and losses, and I wanted to be comforted and encouraged by Mr. An.

After thinking about it, but in fact, such a thing has not happened before, but Mr. An found it back by himself that time. I relaxed a little and pretended to be relaxed and said to him: "Who said it didn't happen, I remember one summer vacation when we traveled to Nanjing, we quarreled, you threw me in the car alone, and when I got out of the car, you were gone." ”

Mr. An also remembered, and he said, "How many years ago was that, and you still hold grudges." Are you going to settle accounts with me now? ”

I replied briskly, "Eh, no, no, no." ”

I asked him, "Do you remember why we quarreled at that time?" ”

Mr. An thought for a while, "It seems that you have to go to a classmate's house to play, I don't agree, we have different opinions." ”

I said, "You're arguing with me just because of this, it's too stingy." ”

Mr. An paused for a moment, and also said: "At that time, you didn't have a good attitude, you didn't listen to anything, did you say that you were angry?" ”

I appropriately changed the subject, unable to remember, and asked him, "Who am I going to see at that time?" ”

"Su Yishan." Mr. An snorted when he said this.

I heard it and couldn't help laughing, "Why didn't I notice that you hated her a little bit before, and you were reluctant to pronounce her name." ”

At that time, he was too young, his self-esteem and competitiveness were too strong, and he was only angry and he couldn't say anything, and he didn't ask him why. Later, after reconciling, the two of them didn't mention it as if it hadn't happened, and they returned home, and they didn't have a chance to ask him why.

Mr. An said, "I didn't like it in the first place. ”

When he mentioned Sue's name, I thought about it for a while, and when Mr. An said that she was not the same person as us, I was a little impressed. He's said something similar before.

In fact, Su should also be regarded as someone who played well with me in junior high school and had a relatively close relationship. We were also in the same class in elementary school, but there were Jing Yao and Mr. An at that time, and I didn't have a lot of intersection with Su, and I slowly became familiar with it after junior high school, and then became estranged because of some things, and after graduation, except for such a name in the class book, there was no connection at all.

Sue and I are not the same passerby, and in the end we are just passers-by to each other.

Mr. An once told me not to get too close to Sue, and I asked him why. He is a person with excellent quality and upbringing, and he would rather misunderstand me than speak ill of her behind her back. Later, I learned that although Su was good with me on the surface, he didn't actually regard me as a real friend. She is just willing to play with me, because everyone is willing to play with me, I have the money to invite everyone to eat snacks and drink cold drinks, and because I have good grades and courage, I don't have to be punished for following me into trouble.

Maybe having a good relationship with everyone at that time doesn't mean likable, because sometimes a good relationship can be for the sake of profit, and sometimes it's also for not making yourself different. And if you are the only one who receives such preference and care, then it will inevitably attract jealousy, because of my "remarkable" family background, because in their eyes sharing is a kind of small favor, which can be enjoyed with peace of mind on the one hand, and on the other hand, they despise you behind your back to gain attention and favor with "privilege".

When I found out that Sue saw me like this, I was really angry because I had really treated her with all my heart. Because if someone else said it instead of her, because He Xi was born in a privileged family, the teachers and the principal were biased towards her, and they didn't seem to dare to mess with her, and I wouldn't be so angry and sad when I heard it at the time.

I said to myself at the time that since they really think like this, then whatever it is, since Sue doesn't want my sincerity, forget it, it's a big deal, I don't want to pay attention to her anymore, don't talk to her anymore.

I comforted myself like this in my heart, and secretly imagined that when I looked up and didn't look down with Su in the future, I would act ruthless to her and ignore her. But lying on Mr. An's back, I couldn't help but feel sad at the thought of how I had lost a friend.

Mr. An guessed that there would be such a day, and he endured it when he was angry with me and even scolded him, he could only keep comforting me, comforting me and saying that what they said was not right, He Xi, you are only a little child, how can you have any privileges or not privileges. But his words choked me, because I thought about it carefully, and since I was a child, I can't deny that because of my background, I did get more convenience than others. For example, I can still start studying in the second grade of primary school before I am old, and for example, when my family comes to pick me up late after elementary school, our homeroom teacher calls and drives me home. Another example is that for the first time in my life, I made a big accident, easily escaped the punishment of probation, and only wrote a review letter.

Speaking of that trouble, it was also related to Su. If I hadn't taken the lead in bullying Su because I didn't like the "eighth child" in our class, I wouldn't have taken the lead in drawing a pig's head for him, and splashed his desk with ink. Thinking about it this way, I was even more angry with Sue at that time.

However, although I escaped the school's punishment on me, I was subjected to severe family law. My grandfather couldn't believe it when he heard about the good things I did, and it was the first time I saw disappointment in his eyes, because although I was usually naughty, it was just a child's little fight, and it wouldn't be so bad.

Growing up, he personally disciplined me for any mistakes I made, so that night, I was sent from my own house to my grandfather's house without even eating a bite of dinner. Except for normal schooling, I was locked up the rest of the time, copying ten pages of the Tao Te Ching every day. It took a whole month for my grandfather to lift my lockdown

At that time, I only came to the calligraphy class during the summer vacation, and my husband didn't usually come to the house at certain times, but as soon as my grandfather sent a lot of my "homework" to his house, he knew that I must have been punished again. Every time I pass by my room, I will hear my husband's deliberate laughter as he gloats. Wow, now that I think about it, I really hated him at that time.

Once when I was really the saddest, I wondered if I wasn't cute enough to be annoying, and even doubted whether the people around me were sincere to me. I also asked Mr. An, do you think of me like them, or do you think the same way as them.

Mr. An's hair was about to explode when he heard it.

"He Xi, listen to what you say."

His eyes were on fire, and he was doused with grievances and disbelief, and walked back and forth in front of me, glaring at me for a long time before he said, "I'm about to be angry with you." ”

I realized I had said the wrong thing, and I followed him, and I went around wherever he went, and kept saying sorry.

Later, he said: "How could there be a fool like you at that time, who was so angry that I turned in circles, but didn't say a word heavy." ”

He said, "You're not following me yet, and you've said sorry as many times as I turned." ”

Later, he also told me that once he returned to China to attend a reunion of junior high school classmates, and heard from other people that Su was married, her husband was her college classmate, and the relationship between the two was very good.

I said, "It's good, it's good."

Now if Su is in front of me, I'm afraid I can still recognize her, but I don't have this opportunity, in fact, I don't regret it at all.