Ninety-four is embarrassed

According to Ling Niankong, after he helped me remove the carrion, I fell asleep for three days. When I woke up on the fourth day, the pain of the wound was greatly relieved, and after many days of observation, not only did it not suppurate again, but it gradually improved.

Half a month passed, and the wound turned from pain to itchiness and began to scab. And during this period, Ling Niankong took care of me as always, and he still didn't talk much.

He was always in a state of astonishment when he was with me, wondering what he was thinking, whether what I said to him in the bath that day had worked, and whether he would keep his promise to set me free.

After a few more days, the scab of the wound began to peel off, revealing tender pink flesh, and the nerves and tendons were recovering well, but I could no longer exert myself too hard in my right hand.

I looked at the ugly mark in my palm and thought to myself that it was time to leave. So I packed my luggage at sunset and planned to leave tomorrow morning.

It didn't take long for dinner to arrive, and Ling Niankong was silent as usual, and took a chopstick dish to my lips.

Because of the injury of my right hand, he fed me like this these days, and I resisted it at first, but I couldn't resist him, so I had to compromise.

Looking at the dish on my lips, I hesitated to say, "My injury has been" Before I could finish speaking, my mouth was blocked by the dish. I had to chew on it.

"Don't say anything about eating, if you have anything to say, you will talk about it after eating." Hearing that his tone was a little cold, I stopped talking.

Dinner ended in silence, the plates were taken away, and the two of us were the only ones left in the room.

You can always say it now, right? I just wanted to speak, but the man leaned on the bookcase and said, "Spring is coming soon, how about I take you to buy some new clothes?" ”

I knew he wanted to change the subject, so I just looked at him and didn't answer.

"If you don't answer, I'll take you as a default...... Also, there is news from the palace that Yue Luanyi will leave the palace tomorrow to play, do you want to see her? If you want, I will go with you. ”

I remained silent, just frowning at him.

He continued, "I've replaced all the people in the house, and I'll be able to move back in a few days, haven't you always disliked living here?" ”

I couldn't listen anymore, so I called him out loud, "Ling Niankong." ”

The corners of his mouth were hooked, but there was not the slightest smile in his eyes. "What, don't want to go?"

I sighed. "Would you like to be sober?"

Hearing this, his face changed suddenly, and he brushed all the pen, ink, paper, and inkstone on the bookcase to the ground, and the ink in the inkstone splashed a few points under the hem of his robe, but he didn't check it at all, only pulled me in front of him, and said angrily, "I'm very sober!" ”

I struggled and was about to break free, but he pressed me against the wall, gasping and repeating Fang Cai's words, "I'm very sober, Yan Linxuan, I won't let you go!" ”

I said sadly, "Ling Niankong, why are you like this?" ”

His movements paused, and he slowly got up after a moment of stunned thought, and sat cross-legged on the bed.

I also sat up to look at him, he looked at me for a long time, and slowly opened his lips, "Yan Linxuan, I like you...... I love you. ”

The thoughts in my head suddenly went haywire, what did he say?

In the confusion of my thoughts, my shoulders were held by him. He stared into my eyes and gasped as he spoke, "I don't care who you are, whether you're her or not; It doesn't matter if you were a person from a hundred years ago or a person from a thousand years later; You love me, hate me, I recognize you. Seeing you and Xiao Jifeng together, and hearing what he said, I am crazy, I hate you so much, I will retaliate against you like that. But I never thought you would be so ruthless. ”

He smiled wryly, his expression a little pained. "You say I'm ruthless, but do you know that you're a thousand times more ruthless than me? I am cruel to others, but you are so cruel to yourself. That arrow pierced your hand and pierced my heart. When you cut off the carrion, you hurt, and I hurt more than you, and the knife slashed at my heart. ”

His breath was a little confused, and his eyes were shining. "Yan Linxuan, I've never been afraid of anything. But when I met you, I was afraid, afraid that you would be angry with me again and do something to hurt yourself, so I lost, completely lost to you. ”

His face came closer, his chaotic breathing beating against mine. "Stay, okay? Count me in begging you. His chest heaved violently and he looked at me deeply.

I was stunned, he was Ling Niankong, the commander of the Xuanyi Army who was extremely cruel and killed people without blinking; It's the rumored monster that eats human flesh and drinks human blood; It is the commander of the army who is invincible and deeply used by Emperor Nanli.

How would a man like him put down all his pride and say such a thing!?

I couldn't believe it, but there was a sharp pain in my heart, and tears overflowed from my eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't find my voice.

He cupped my face and gently scraped tears from my cheeks with his thumb. "Yan'er, why don't you speak?" There was a slight uneasiness on his face. "Would you like to...... Stay? You ...... in your heart But me? ”

I took a deep breath and encouraged to suppress the emotions that were surging in my heart.

"Ling Niankong, if you had said this to me earlier......" I smiled embarrassedly. If you drive me away, I will be by your side. I'm just now discovering that I was ...... before How I wish you could really like me. So before...... I know you're taking advantage of me, but I'm still thinking about everything. torture, poisoned and drunk...... Even if you know that you don't look down on these things at all, you still do it for you stupidly. I thought I could afford to put it down, but I was unconsciously humbled to the point of being like this...... Did you know that Shen died in annihilation...... I killed ......."

Speaking of which, the reason I had been holding on to still collapsed, and tears poured down like a burst of embankment.

"Do you know why? …… I hesitated for a moment, and at that moment, I was still thinking of you. I wondered, what would happen to you if I healed her, would you be in danger...... Or does it mean that even if Shen recovers, she can't help you...... Am I doing this again? ”

"Yan'er......" His voice trembled a little, and his brows were tightly wrinkled together, looking extremely painful.

"You don't have to tell me the answer...... I'm going to go crazy when I know it...... In your opinion, am I stupid like this? But I can't help but think about it. It was a living life, and it was cut off because of my hesitation, and this is a sin that I will never be able to atone for the rest of my life......"

He closed his eyes tiredly and held me tightly in his arms. "It's not your offense, you don't need to atone for it. And that woman, she is innocent of death, you don't have to be like this. ”

I broke free from his embrace, and regardless of the tears that flowed freely, I trembled and said, "Ling Niankong, you don't understand...... You don't understand what kind of education I received from a young age...... Life is more precious than anything else in my plane. I have studied medicine for many years, and I know this very well. Even if she is heinous, I have no right to decide whether she lives or dies...... Ling Niankong, it's impossible to be with you......" When it came to the last sentence, my heart was like being torn in half, dripping with blood and pain.

His pupils constricted. "Why?"

"Ling Niankong, I love you, I love you very much, I love you so much that I am willing to be a stand-in for others." Hearing this, his eyes lit up, and I said again, "But recent events have made me understand that the price of loving you is too great...... This love for you will only bring me pain and nightmares. I'm already scarred, I can't love anymore, I can't love anymore. ”

His hand on my shoulder shook uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...... his voice trembled a little, "I shouldn't have hurt you that much." He wiped my tears again. Yan'er, you are too kind, if you want to live alone in this world, you will definitely be struggling. ”

He gently took my freshly healed right hand and slowly rubbed the scar on the back of his hand. "You're going to hurt yourself, half because of Shen Shen's death, right?"

I was stunned, he actually guessed this layer.

Yes, my behavior is no different from self-harm, to a certain extent, it is indeed because of the guilt in my heart for annihilation, and it seems that only what I do can feel better. But even after doing so, I still regretted it.

"Don't torture yourself like this anymore, I feel sorry......" he kissed the back of my hand. Give me all those burdens, all those guilt, and I will bear them for you. This is my sin, and you don't need to take it on yourself. Besides, my hands have long been dirty, and it makes no difference between one more life and one less life. He stroked my hair gently. Give me a chance, let me help you smooth the wounds in your heart, and let me make it up to you, okay? He repented like a child.

But I held back the sharp pain in my heart and said, "You don't owe me anything. From your point of view, what do you do...... It's okay to use me, it's okay to hurt me, I'm still understandable. As for what I do for you, I am willing to do it, and that's my choice. The consequences, of course, will be borne by me alone, and it has nothing to do with you. I don't want to stay with you anymore because I'm in pain, tired, and I can't carry any heavier burdens...... I let it go in order not to hurt anymore, and this choice is still not about you. ”

Hearing this, his eyes were full of despair. "Yan'er, don't be so cruel to me. Do you think that if you say three or two sentences like this, and you will break off the relationship with me, we will really not be in arrears? ”

I chuckled and wiped tears from my cheeks. "Drag? Owe? Ling Niankong, you don't understand anything. There is no such thing as a break-even in emotional matters. All I ask you to do is let me go, okay? ”

He took me into his arms and strangled me a little, but I didn't struggle and let him hold me.

It took a long time for him to whisper in my ear, "Okay, if you stay with me and make you so miserable, I'll let you go." ”

He lay down with me in his arms, kissed me lightly on the lips, and whispered, "Tomorrow, I'll send you." ”

I didn't answer, and slowly closed my eyes.