5. Journaling
"Hmm. Answer properly, congratulations, you have coaxed Master Atso. β
[She is always like this, never hidden, never angry, just like at this moment, she can speak directly about the doubts in her heart, and advance and retreat in a measured manner, and not too much force. How to say, she is sometimes confused and cute, sometimes she is as clever as a fox, especially when she smiles with me, the cold wind is warm, and the moon is turning stars. ]
"It's going to be dawn." The sky was getting brighter, and my body was already becoming transparent. "Then, I'll leave it to you during the day."
"Well, then I'll find a way to go to him and ask him about the steps of the ritual. Stay here obediently, and I'll put a charm on the door, so that you can also be visible in the room, and as long as you don't go out of the room, you'll be safe. β
I nodded obediently, hugged him, and turned to go into the room.
I began to wander around the room, but I found half a worn-out notebook from the long-abandoned kang nest, the paper had yellowed, and a lot of dust had accumulated on it.
At a glance, it was the pen and pen characters used in the seventies and eighties, and the writing was very beautiful, so I began to read page by page.
1970.4.6
They came again, and I asked my mother, and she said that there was nothing we could do about it, and all we could do was not help the abuse.
I don't understand, why should I be in a corner when they need it, when they are worshipped as gods, they are worshipped as gods. Such a feeling suddenly became extremely strong today.
Ah Fen, who is the same age as me, seems to have died yesterday, because the children have been confined to the house recently, I was sneaking out of her house to play with her, when I heard her parents screaming nervously in the yard at the door, I was a little scared, so I looked inside through the crack in the door, Ah Fen was lying on the ground, and her mother was already crying on the side, "My Ah Fen, why did you go like this, obviously you are staying at home well, this kind of thing is still our turn Ah Fen." Her father also wiped tears from his eyes.
I felt bad at the moment, and wanted to go back and beg my mother, let her save the villagers, even if it didn't work, at least save Ah Fen, when I went back, my mother was not at home, I waited and waited, and while trying to recall the spiritual technique that my mother usually taught me, if she still insisted on not agreeing, I would ask the spirit to save Ah Fen myself.
But my mother didn't come back, I waited and waited to fall asleep, and when I woke up today, I hurried to Ah Fen's house, only to find her happily playing in the yard and jumping circles, her parents were choosing vegetables and cooking, looking happy, only the corners of her mother's red and swollen eyes told me that what I saw yesterday was true.
Could it be that her parents were wrong?
1970.4.12
They're rarely coming, is it the matter settled, hopefully?
The weather has been excellent lately, so why don't you feel excited at all? Obviously, I like sunny days the most, I want to pick peach blossoms, I want to go to the spring in the mountains to play, I have been locked up for five days, why do you want to detain me when I am released.
My mother always said, you are still young, you don't understand, I am 20 years old, and she still uses this to prevaricate me.
Will see this, a voice comes from outside the door, "Lin Cuo, you come out." β
I leaned against the window and looked out, Ji Peng was standing in the courtyard, and my sister Lin Wu was lying on the ground next to me.
"What did you do to her?" I was a little overwhelmed and blurted out. There are some regrets, which should be carefully considered, and they have lost the opportunity.
He saw my concern and became even more proud, "She's okay now, if you don't listen to me, what will happen to her." β
"Didn't you just let me burn my body?"
"I like to talk to smart people and save trouble. Now that you know, let's do it. β
"So, do you think I'll believe that she's my sister just because of a person lying on the ground, she's safe, and you'll let her go after I burn her?" I chuckled, "You're a little naΓ―ve." β
"Name your terms."
There are not many ways to test whether she is my sister, if you talk about the characteristics of her body, I am afraid that he has already prepared everything, and can only test the memory of things, especially the things that only my sister and I knew before they met, but I can't show up, I will involve her, and he can only ask, which seems very weird. Let's find a pen and paper and ask her to write a few words and identify the handwriting first.
"Get a pen and paper, ask her to write it again, and then say goodbye to Kangqiao, and show it to me. Don't let her get involved in our business, you know what to do. β
"Nature."
His inexplicable self-confidence convinced me a little.
I don't know what he did, Lin Wu woke up and turned around, he acted sincerely, and immediately squatted down, "Are you better?" β
Lin Wu asked, "Where is this?" What are we doing here? β
"I want to ask someone to calculate when our children can come, I heard grandma say, the people who live here are very good at this, so I brought you here, but this person has a lot of rules, you have to write a piece and then don't Kangqiao, to test by words."
Lin Wu's face was a little red, and he said shyly, "Why are you in a hurry about this." β
"I'm looking forward to it." Ji Peng had a gentle and warm face.
Lin Wu also wrote obediently, but after writing, he blushed again, and fainted randomly.
He stuffed the word through the crack in the door, and I studied it carefully for a long time, but it was not much different from Lin Wu's own handwriting, and the way she wrote just now and the familiarity with the poem were no different from my understanding of her.
He really dared to take advantage of their marriage and my family to cheat me of my life.
At this time, his voice sounded outside the window again, "How, don't delay time, my patience is limited." β
"Then how can I be sure that if I do, she'll be safe."
"Do you think I'm going to hurt others and add to my own sin? If you rub me any longer, it won't be. β
It's sharp-toothed.
"Then you are guilty of causing my life? Are you still guilty of less? β
"You don't understand, I have something I want to do," I have someone I want to protect.
"Didn't I? I, who got involved in this for no reason, am the real victim. I also have things I want to do, I have my own ideals, I have my own future, but now, I have been ruined by you, I have no home, I can't go back. At this point, tears welled up in tears.
Xu is that my sister and I look a little similar, he looked at my face through the window and hesitated, I secretly said in my heart, success! Playing the emotional card is really a little useful.
"You're not going to die." He muttered something that I couldn't quite hear.
"Now, burn!" He shouted, pointing his fingertips at Lin Wu's temples.
The sadness in my eyes deepened a little, I went to get the matchbox, walked to the body, brushed it, held it in mid-air, the match was about to burn to my fingertips, the hot touch, it hurt very much, but I refused to let go easily, if I let go, I would not be myself again.