I may have a disorder called narration disorder, which is a disorder of language function in the brain.

Maybe not, it's the shackles that learned helplessness puts on the body.

In short, since puberty, I have not been able to talk freely, nor can I describe in my diary what has changed in my body, and I cannot describe the people and things around me that have changed.

So much so that after work, for a long time, I didn't know how to deal with work, and I didn't know how to tell the cause and effect.

The inability to describe the possible root cause is the loss of a certain memory in life, a certain memory fragment of the day is lost in an instant.

This feeling is like a relatively important thing is missing, but you can't remember what is important, but the frustration of the loss is deeply imprinted on the cerebral cortex.

Whether it was intentional on the part of the brain or whether it was unconsciously ignored has always bothered me. So much so that when I watched some courses in neuropsychology, I considered whether I would like to donate my brain to the laboratory to make some contributions to human scientific research after I was years old.

With this disease, as you can imagine, my life is also a terrible one. I often don't remember things, and my life is dull, immersed in bubble dramas, novels, games, sleeping, dreaming.

Even though I often forget, I don't tell about it, and I don't try to remember, I don't record.

You may be tempted to say, "You must be too lazy to get this disease." ”

"You're right!" I feel the same way.

So, I love to sleep more.

Go to bed? I love sleeping even more!

In fact, this love of mine is only subjective love. Physically, I didn't show much joy.

In my early years, I was ashamed of snooze and fought against my physiology, but now I wake up early and wake up from nightmares...... Tired and don't know the way back, but into the depths of dreams.

At six o'clock in the morning, my two-month-old baby woke up with a soft milky fragrance. After feeding the baby, the body is tired, but the brain is still spinning at a high speed, in other words, it starts to think cranky again......

Mr. Liu's purr swirled in the dark night, and after feeding the baby, I didn't have the strength to change the baby's diaper. Rest for a while, I think I can sleep and change it at dawn.

I'm more tired. Immediately after, I heard my milky baby crying, and I silently signaled that I should hurry up.

I remembered, but I couldn't get up, I wanted to touch the baby with my hand, but my hand didn't obey, my body stiffened, and my heart panicked.

How could this be?

My keen consciousness told me that it was a dream, and then I hinted at myself waking up......

I woke up.

The moonlight shone into the room through the window, the room was dark, and I saw Mr. Liu falling asleep by the window, the baby in the middle, and I was lying on the edge of the bed. With my phone next to my pillow, I realized I woke up satisfied.

Stretch out your hand to hold the baby, but you don't get it. The baby cried, crying loudly, Mr. Liu woke up, held the child in his arms, lowered his head, and patted ...... gently

I suddenly realized that I hadn't woken up, it was still a dream.

In order to prove that it was a dream, I threw the phone next to the pillow to the ground, and then I heard Peng's voice, and when I went to grab the phone again, the phone easily returned to my hand, and I repeated it several times, convinced that it was indeed a dream.

Once again, I hinted that I could wake up, and this time I did......

I got up. The baby fell asleep peacefully in Mr. Liu's arms, and then I walked out of the room and went to the kitchen to make breakfast like yesterday morning. When I walked out of the room, I bumped into my mother-in-law, who walked straight into the room from me without speaking.

I suddenly noticed that the ceiling in the living room was so high, the walls were shining, all this was familiar and strange, I wanted to look back at the baby, but my legs seemed to be filled with lead, and I couldn't take a step.

My heart began to panic, fear reached its peak in an instant, my body seemed to have fallen into the abyss, but my soul had soared.

It's not true, I realized again that I hadn't woken up at all, but I've woken up three times, and I haven't woken up yet, I'm afraid I won't wake up.

I suddenly felt that death has a soul, and I am now in a state of soul, but I don't know where I should drift to yet, before going to another place, I want to take another look at my milky baby, but my legs can't step anymore, I can't hold my milky baby anymore.

I stiffened against the shiny wall, depressed. I'm sure I'm dead, but how I died, I don't know.

I started thinking again, I was too tired...... Dead asleep? Suffocated? Died of a cardiac arrest? Poisoned by chronic medicine! Who poisoned it? Why hasn't I found out before, when was it poisoned? How did it get into my body?

Suddenly it occurred to me that in order to feed my baby, I have been drinking a lot of water. I glanced back at Mr. Liu, but he didn't look up.

I was sure I was indeed dead...... this time I didn't hint at waking up, and then I woke up.

When I woke up, I thought the dream was fun, so I recorded it. After watching "Inception" and having the experience of dream-within-a-dream, it is easy for you to understand what I have experienced.

Lenovo is watching the TV series recently - Detective Chinatown, this dream is like a suspenseful reasoning film.

The first I am sleeping, my consciousness is awake and sleeping, but I am not awake, like squinting and thinking.

The second I woke myself up, only to find that my state was different from squinting and thinking, and the consciousness was dreaming, dreaming to wake me up.

Thirdly, I thought I was awake, but my hands and feet still didn't listen, and I was still dreaming.

Fourthly, I am dreaming, but I fail to wake myself, I am not dreaming, but the soul is out of the body, I am dead.

How did you die...... Dead asleep? Suffocated? Died of a cardiac arrest? There is no basis for any of this. Then I gave myself a logically "reasonable" conclusion: I was poisoned by taking chronic drugs.

But who poisoned it? Why haven't you found it before? When was it poisoned? I thought of drinking a lot of water, I looked at Mr. Liu, and he didn't look up.

In the end, in the dream, I reasoned that I was dead, and it was the chronic medicine that Mr. Liu put into the water cup that poisoned me.

Because it was a chronic poison that poisoned me, I didn't even notice it.

When I died, I woke up from my dream.

In the dream, I was poisoned by Mr. Liu, which is not real and has nothing to do with life. It's just that the husband is dissatisfied with life in the TV series, and the plot of murdering his wife has been watched too much. is also because of the recent pursuit of the Chinatown detective web series, and was affected by the multi-gold and beautiful Di Nan in the play, who had auditory hallucinations at night and committed suicide, which was affected by the carefully designed plot of her husband and Ah Wen.

Again, this is not real, it's just a dream, and it has nothing to do with life.

Dreaming is like having a dreamer, in a state of physical rigidity, imitating free will, sketching out a life scene that is like a real one, allowing people to experience their dreams.

Although the dream may not be in line with common sense, and the consciousness may be awake, it is easy to forget to be awake, and the consciousness will not be aware for a while, as if it were a real situation.

This is one of the great qualities of dreams, which is deceptive. The dream I just experienced illustrates this trait, based on the all-too-familiar circumstances of life and the waking consciousness, which proves time and time again: I am awake, I am dreaming.

Until consciousness also thinks that this is true, but it does not correspond to reality.

How does it comply? The only logical way to do this is to die, and then the will rests and does not struggle, and the soul returns to the body again and wakes up from the dream.