I've read some romance novels and it's often like this. For a problem student, skipping class is like a secret love, and over time, the inner miss will evolve into a complex that must be escaped.

In fact, when a student cannot relate to his or her past experience in what the teacher says, he or she cannot deeply process and understand it. Outside, small actions are constantly distracted from processing, such as during class, and I often take a few novels and secretly put them under the table to read, or blatantly put them on the table to read. I'm not advocating this habit, because I once had a tablemate who was a top student tell me that if you make good use of 40 minutes, you can't listen to the lecture and study well in class, so do you still expect you to study hard after class? Inside, trapped by the previous experience of this day, he will use it to sort it out when he has the opportunity, and it is often limited to a clue, and there is no follow-up.

After a long time, a stimulus-response connection is formed, and the body and mind are tormented during class, and it is necessary to escape.

I have a history of skipping classes. The first time I didn't want to go to school, I was still in kindergarten. I remember that the teacher at that time was a tall, young and beautiful woman with a ponytail like instant noodles, very fierce and strict.

One day, this beautiful female teacher did not come to school for several days, and the class was full of chaos, and the children's playful nature was also agitated. Because he is ranked third, he already knows a lot of words when he goes to kindergarten. There are no textbooks in kindergarten, and the books used are the textbooks of the second sister's first grade.

It was the golden autumn of October, and the sky was high and crisp. At the foot of Taibai Mountain, the sky is still very blue, and the water of the Zhuhe River flowing through is clear and cold. Looking at the first-grade textbook, there is an article "Autumn is coming, the leaves are yellow, falling down one by one, and the geese are flying south, one will be lined up, and the other will be lined up in the ?????"

For the first time, I experienced the concept of a book, and I was eager to tell my classmates about this discovery, telling them that the weather outside is called autumn, and when the leaves turn yellow, they fall and spread all over the yard, which is why we have to sweep the leaves.

When I went for a morning jog, I saw a flock of birds called geese, and I didn't know what the south was, but it was probably a place where there would be no fallen leaves. One will be a word, one will be a person, and the word will be so smart????? While I was talking, a male teacher from the fifth grade next door walked in at some point.

His skin was surprisingly dark, his eyebrows and legs were heavy, and his round eyes were like cows. Blowing his beard and glaring in, he picked up the book and hit me on the back of the head, and everyone else was quiet. The second time I came in, I seemed to be the only one talking in the noisy classroom, slapped me, and made me stand outside the door.

Then the next day, I didn't want to go to school, and my parents put my school bag on my back, so I cried and didn't dare to go to school.

"Who bullied you, you said, Dad went to school to find him, beat him, and give you anger." Father said.

"Are you obedient? You're disobedient and I'm beating you, believe it or not? Mother said.

I didn't know how to tell my parents because I didn't follow discipline at school and was beaten twice by my teachers. I didn't finish my homework again, and I was afraid that the teacher would beat me, so I didn't dare to go.

If I said that, I would be a disobedient child, and my parents would not like me, so I cried so hard that I didn't say anything.

My father comforted me, but my mother threatened me with beatings, and I made up my first conscious lie.

I changed the person who bullied me to a classmate named No. 2 in our class, because many classmates at school reported to the teacher that No. 2 bullied him, and he always bullied a classmate named Lahuan (nicknamed Liu Bi, his face was turbinate all day long, and his sleeves and snot were black and mushy. ）

Our teacher said that he had a nervous disorder, and that he had a high fever and burned out his brain when he was young, so we were not allowed to provoke him. In fact, apart from him occupying the walking board and not letting me play, we barely spoke.

My father sent me to school and told the teacher that I was being bullied by my classmates at school and hoped that she would take care of me. The beautiful female teacher came, one of her arms clearly broken, and she curled up in front of her. When I was sent away, my father called the second number out and beat him with a broom stick, "I'm not in you, it's the other thing to call you to bully your classmates." ”

"I ...... Not...... Yes, I ...... Not...... Yes. "I grabbed the bamboo strip and broke it. Since that time, I still think that No. 2 is not psychotic or psychotic at all, but he speaks slurred and spat and splatters, and his senior classmates bullied him, and he bullied those who were weaker than himself and was beaten by the teacher. Parents hit. The brain is normal and the brain is not normal.

I remember one time his father came to our kindergarten classroom and said only one sentence in a loud voice, "This child is disobedient, teacher, you are like your own child, you should be beaten and scolded, and we as parents will thank you." ”

I wondered if my parents were so ruthless? It turned out that it would not be wrong for a teacher to beat and scold a child, and then I had to make a deference, and if I complained to my parents that the teacher beat me, I would not be a good boy and a good student, and no one would like me.

Besides, the second number was beaten by the teacher in a daze, because he usually does a lot of evil, and the teacher recently broke his hand and didn't come, he was in a bad mood, so he didn't listen to his explanation at all, and he couldn't explain it clearly, and he was very aggrieved.

Came back and questioned me, "I... What the.. Deceive.. Negative you, take.. You've got a pen. You see.... My stationery: Box school bag.. That... Yes, that.. Yes. You said.. I take.. You.. The pen is up, put you... Pen give. I... Listen... See no. ”

He stammered, but I still understood what he meant. Then he took the knife and made a gesture in my hand, and I was so frightened that I grabbed the knife and rubbed it his hand, and it broke the skin.

You deceive... Negative me, I am.. Tell... Teacher goes. He stammered anxiously.

I didn't speak, thought to myself. "Go ahead, I won't admit it anyway, it depends on the teacher's belief in you or in what I say." As I expected, the teacher didn't have the patience to listen to him at all, so he stopped. No. 2 didn't dare to say anything after suffering a dumb loss, and then I began to sympathize with him.

Many years later, we were in the same class again, and the whole school village knew that his parents had accepted that his child was a psychopath.

One day when I was in the fourth grade, I asked him why he was bullying Lahuan, "Look... See.. See. Sit with him... Sit in the front... Keep snorting and use... Use... Use... Sleeve wipe, I. I.. I.. Felt. Disgusting. He still stammered, but he could always speak the whole story.

I don't know why Lahuan's mother wears her child with black sleeves all year round, and doesn't show her child even if her face is covered with turbinates.

In order to distinguish between two people with the same name, our teacher forcibly named the child No. 2, so that he would never be able to have anything to do with the second for the rest of his life. Maybe he did have a high fever when he was a child, but with good education and patience, he can at least be like an ordinary child.

The second time I didn't want to go to school happened one morning in the second year of junior high school. I remember it was a very cold day, and I walked alone on the way to school wearing my only pair of shoes. The smog was so heavy that no one could be seen for five meters. I don't want to go to school when I wake up early, and I don't want to leave home until I'm late. The more I walked on the road, the more hesitant I became. When crossing the bridge, an idea suddenly popped up, and when my shoes got wet, I said that the fog was too big, and I accidentally stepped on the air and fell into the ditch. I deceived my mother in this way, and I stayed at home for a few days and didn't have to go to school.

In the second year of junior high school, why am I so afraid to go to school? Is it just because of a pair of broken shoes? Inevitably, this pair of broken shoes carried too much responsibility for accidents.

However, the most evil thing is that I, the owner of the shoes, looks down on myself in a pair of shabby shoes. It is impossible to ignore these difficult conditions and forge the soul of a Vajra.

How can a person who lives in poverty all year round realize that he is poor? Just as a foolish person cannot know that he is stupid. A very intelligent person will not find himself very intelligent unless the subconscious awakens.

Personal experience has a more direct effect on the human brain than external evaluation, so that it can no longer calmly ignore the scarcity of life materials. This is more than what can be summed up by a love of vanity.

Human instinct follows this certain natural law, whether it is spiritual or material, and only when satisfied will they give up the pursuit and pursue a higher realm.

However, we often meet people who enjoy a good life, sufficient material resources, a good education, and then blame others, calculating, small-bellied, you know, maybe this is the torture of hunger.

The reality is so unfair, why should you bear it? The people who hold most of the resources of society are coaxing you in this way in order to get along, and what can you do?

If your meaning does not conform to the meaning of society, there is no meaning, but you stubbornly say that it is impossible, and many people are pursuing self-realization.

Why don't you see that they are in society and have been recognized by society? And I'm just a marginal little person, but I think I'm nobler than others.

I still haven't made it clear why I don't want to go to school. The root cause is that I lack love, and I hope my mother will love me again. So much so that they use self-harm to attract attention, hoping to get special care. I wish someone noticed me and noticed that I was also a problem student, and I was in a lot of pain inside, but I couldn't say it.

But I'm sorry, my mother didn't fulfill my wishes, as she had done in the past. Then she went to a neighbor's house and borrowed a pair of shoes, gave them to me, and I went to school that afternoon.

At this time, W appeared, and he appeared in my life like a god, giving me unprecedented strength, constantly encouraging me, and accompanying me through those difficult days.

And in the eyes of others, he is just an old man who has passed the baptism of years with a lame leg. Every morning at 7 o'clock, I exercised and walked on the way to school when I was in middle school. Then he said to every child who looked at him, "At school, go to school."

My mother's change was only five years after I ran away from home, and she realized that she was confused. So, Mr. Liu called her and asked her to take care of me. In fact, I had forgotten all these things that had been put in the black hole of memory in my heart at that time, and I even strongly opposed her taking care of me. But she still came, and when Mr. Liu was panicking, he took me from Xi'an to the hospital.

My mother stayed in my new home for a total of 42 days, because she had heard that women are now confined for 42 days, and they rarely had such a long time at that time, the winter in Xinjiang is very cold, especially compared to the countryside in my hometown, it is still much warmer, but I know that she is not used to it, the house is small, there is no place to turn, she can't understand my mother-in-law's speech, no one speaks, she is used to getting up early and going to bed early......

I used to think she didn't want to come at all, but when she came, these habits didn't seem to be as important as I was lying in bed, and then she told me a lot of things about my childhood, and my subconscious awakened. I began to understand the true meaning of dreams.