When Mr. L came in, he had a copy of the textbook "General Psychology" in his hand, and it was already past seven and a quarter past seven o'clock.

He even came with a book in his hand, apparently on purpose. Even a layman probably understands that general psychology is the major of psychology majors, and although there are few classrooms in universities, it is not reasonable to put the major courses in the afternoon or in the evening.

If necessary, you must bring it back to the dormitory to prepare lesson plans, and there is a table at the door, or you can not bring it in.

The female teacher called him, and he came over, knowing that he had seen a visitor, and brought a book, apparently to me.

But why, just to convince me that he was a teacher of general psychology? Has some authority? When meeting for the first time, using a book as a prop to increase one's weight in the visitor's mind is also a technique in psychology. Skill is more important than "skill", good use is skill, bad use is self-defeating.

But I prefer to believe another theory, which is that he is trying to divert my attention from me from looking too much at him. And he did so successfully that I couldn't even remember what he looked like after the first session.

"My name is L, I am from City A, I graduated from the graduate school of M University, and I just came to City S College, and I took two courses in the School of Psychology: General Psychology and Instructional Design. I have obtained a Level 2 Certificate in Psychological Counselor, and I have a detailed introduction on the wall outside.

Just now, the teacher briefly told me about your situation on the phone, and I came, I don't know the specifics, what do you want to say? Teacher L said a few words of greeting, introduced himself straight to the point, and went straight to the point.

Even if I came to the door on my own initiative and needed someone to help me, it was still difficult for me to speak. I hesitated, and the interview fell into embarrassment.

"Rest assured, we have a confidentiality principle here. On the premise of not threatening social security, your information will not be disclosed. You may be bold enough to say that there is nothing you can't say. Teacher L looked me in the eye and encouraged.

In this way, I hesitated for a long time, and suddenly sobbed again, repeating the first sentence, "I want to work away from home and away from home in the future." ”

Incredible, my painful expression, my heartless words, what made such a childish voice so decisive and decisive?

In December of the fourth year, graduates have begun to end their internships one after another, and the school library is preparing for the graduate school entrance examination, the civil service examination, the qualification certificate, the fourth and sixth grades, all of which are nothing more than taking the exam.

The graduate application has ended, and there are a few more days to confirm on site. I applied for the postgraduate examination at a university in our province. The institute is less than a two-hour drive from my home. But when I heard the news of the recruitment of the Xinjiang Construction Corps, I couldn't sit still, I couldn't sit still, and I couldn't sit down quietly to study.

The idea of staying in my hometown was suddenly defeated, and I didn't know what to do. The inner entanglement led to the subconscious action of picking his hand, and the gap between the middle finger and ring finger of the left hand with his right hand was picked with his right hand, and he actually scratched the skin, looked at it indifferently, and did not say a word.

Teacher L didn't seem to notice, maybe he was keenly aware of it, but he also knew that this was just a kind of releasing venting, which could only accept, tolerate, divert attention, and did not stop me.

Teacher L: "Do you want to work away from home after graduation?" At this time, the graduates are still interning, don't you have an internship? ”

Me: "Well, I'm going to take the graduate school entrance examination, but when I heard about the recruitment of the Xinjiang Construction Corps, I suddenly wanted to work away from home. ”

Teacher L: "I'm afraid I won't be able to pass the exam, so I will work first." Postgraduate entrance examination is also a choice, what major are you? ”

Me: "Urban and rural planning. ”

Teacher L: This major is very good, which school do you apply for? One of my classmates majored in P University, and his English and ideological and political scores were better, and there was no big problem in passing the interview. But it may not be as good as the school you applied for, what about the school you applied for?

Me: "No, I don't say it. ”

Teacher L: "Don't want to say? So let's say you work, have you interned before? ”

Me: "I went to the south three times to work during the winter vacation of college, and I took a tutor, a sophomore girl in high school English. ”

Teacher L: "Your English is good?" ”

Me: "No, I took the test four times and finally hung up." 426 points. ”

Teacher L: "It's already very good, many college students have not passed the fourth level after graduation. Computer level 2 has also passed, right? ”

Me: "Well, VF passed, C took the test once, and the written test was not passed. ”

Teacher L: "Have you taken any other certificates?"

Me: "I've taken the accounting qualification certificate, but I haven't done computerization."

Teacher L: "You're already very good. Not the best, but also good. Is there support from your family for the graduate school entrance examination? ”

Me: "Fortunately, my father said that whoever can read the book will support it." ”

Teacher L: "How many sisters do you have?" ”

Me: "Four." I have two sisters and a younger brother. My eldest sister is married, her home is in Xianyang, the second sister is in Xi'an, and my younger brother is younger than me, and he also graduated and went to Beijing to find a job, and I am still in school. ”

Teacher L: "Recently, there has been a lot of employment pressure this year, and many people are going to graduate school to escape the current employment pressure, and wait for graduate students to work when the employment pressure is less. It's all the same, are you afraid of work? ”

Me: "No, I used to work part-time in a factory. ”

Teacher L: "What do you do?" ”

Me: "Operator on the assembly line, quality inspector. The freshman went to Wuxi, working as a quality inspector in the mobile phone assembly factory, mainly doing mobile phone screen inspection, the sophomore went to Wujiang, the assembly of the computer charging cable configurator, and the junior went to ISHARES Computer Company, with many peers, and I was a warehouse quality inspector. A few pieces are extracted from the incoming goods, tested with an instrument, and the information is entered after passing. Last summer as a tutor. ”

Teacher L: "If you want to work in Xinjiang, are you afraid that you won't find a good job here?" ”

Me: "I just want to stay away from home." I had depression that started when I was fourteen. On the twenty-ninth day of the twelfth lunar month when I was fourteen years old, my grandmother and grandfather came to the house, because the family was very poor and there was no extra bed, my mother asked me to spend the night at the same school, but I didn't want to, so she scolded me, "I can't eat."

In a fit of anger, I borrowed six yuan from my classmates to prepare to squat in the Internet café, but the Chinese New Year coincided with the increase in the price of the night machine, and I needed six yuan and five cents, so I had to return to my house at 10 o'clock in the evening and squat outside all night. ”

"That year, I didn't want to go to school at first, and one day, on a very cold day, I was on my way to school in the morning, and I didn't want to go. When I walked to the river, I got my shoes and pants wet, and when I went home, I told my mother that I had fallen into the river. In the afternoon, my mom forced me to go to school again. ”

"That year, one of my teachers commented on me, hysterical and reticent, hysteria."

I was born with acting skills, and at that moment, even I believed in these miserable childhoods that had been compiled due to my lack of cognitive attention and bias.

Teacher L was very excited and said indignantly, "I use my major to assure you that your teacher is wrong. And talked about the meaning of these two words, and then repeatedly convinced me that I was not at all what my teacher said I was.

"Everyone is in a somewhat depressed mood, but I assure you, you're not depressed."

"Every graduate is more or less anxious, we all need to encourage ourselves, you follow me and shout, "I am not afraid of you in the first sentence." ”

Me: "I'm not afraid of you for work."

Teacher L: "I'm ready for the second sentence."

Me: "I'm ready."

Teacher L: "I'm here for the third sentence."

Me: "I'm coming. ”

I shouted five times after Teacher L seriously, and my stiff body suddenly relaxed a lot, and my expression became much more natural.

In fact, I know that these words were used by my teacher at the same time, but they don't mean anything to me today.

Because at that time, I was still a fragile but strong child, eager to be strong inside, read a few books, and became even stronger, but I didn't know how to be strong, just bluffed and didn't speak, but this was seen by my teacher, he told me, "You have to believe in yourself, if you don't even believe in yourself, then how do you make others believe in you." ”

What if an adult tells a child countless times that the child still doesn't say a word to the adult? Will adults give up? Have you ever thought about what happened to this child?

Or will you just put on him a trap like introversion, low self-esteem, shyness, cowardice, lack of confidence, etc., put him up, or put a label on him, so that you think it will solve the problem?

Well, I'll admit it's a contradiction, and this contradiction is native to my brain. Because I set up a false stimulus-response, which is not to speak - to be encouraged, to be encouraged - not to speak. When my teacher told me countless times that I should believe in myself from the bottom of my heart, I would only say to him, "Uh-oh" onomatopoeia, because the subtext of what I heard was that I was encouraged not to speak. Then I put myself in a sleeve, and I didn't like to talk even more.

What's more, it's still coming out of my mouth? And you just heard what I was trying to say, did you understand how much?

I was sick, nervously pathological, because it had built up the wrong stimulus-response, and it seemed that the spirit was also about to enter a pathological state and begin to babble.

If I keep saying this, the consequences can be imagined. I would become, as I saw in my adolescence, the girl who cried in my backyard all the evening, as I remember hearing, and it will be a pain I will never want to talk about again.

The conversation went smoothly. After that, I don't remember what I said. Because at that time, I must have gone against my true heart and said a lot of insincere words, and my memory began to blur.

Before you know it, how long has passed. I looked up, fixed my gaze on the red clock, and stopped talking.

Teacher L looked at my watch, and I began to rub my hands together again.

Because I read his micro-expression, the time is up. But I didn't know how to say goodbye, I was restless in my heart, and my subconscious action was to keep rubbing my hands, waiting for him to say that he was here today.

The meeting time is reasonably controlled within a certain period of time, and Mr. L will know this, and it has always been the practice to face sudden visitors.

Psychological problems are not caused in a day, nor can they be eliminated in a single meeting.

This is a step-by-step process of discovering and solving problems. Not too fast, let alone led by the visitor, but guide him to explore his direction, help him open up the predicament, and get out of his self-restraint. I've been learning psychology conversation skills lately, and I know this very well.

Teacher L left me homework, this homework is different from the previous homework, take a book, take a pen, take a notebook, write and draw.

It's more like an old mother-in-law, who advises her children to develop good living habits, five or six-year-old children, it is time to understand something, and if you don't understand what adults say, just do it.

Soak your feet in hot water for no less than 20 minutes every day, run for no less than half an hour at 8 p.m. every night, and climb stairs for half an hour if it rains.

But after all, he is an adult, and now, he even has problems eating, drinking, and sleeping, but he can't say it, how can ordinary people really understand the extent of inner pain and the complicated mechanism.

"Eat some protein and vitamins, eggs, yogurt, and cereals."

"Remember every day what you have done successfully."

"Wake up every morning at what point of day, make a reasonable study plan for the day, take it with you, and try to complete it on time."

In the end, he expressed the hope that I could cooperate with the completion of the next meeting to test the results, and then carefully sent me out.