When I was a child, I inexplicably liked animals. I don't know how hard life is, and I will yell at my parents to raise some small animals. Maybe because of the aura of "smart", my parents are also willing to support my liking.

But he can't avoid the inexplicable death or disappearance of his favorite animal, and the only thing he can say is a duck, a rabbit, three cats and a black dog.

I remember when I was in elementary school, one day, there was a vendor selling duckling seedlings at the door, butter and oil chicks, red jaws and anthuriums, very good-looking, one dollar a piece, I couldn't help but want one as a toy.

On that day, my father happened to be at the door of the house, and he generously bought ten of them for me.

Although he was scolded by his mother, he also smiled and said: "If the doll likes it, it should be a toy." If you feed it, you can still eat meat. ”

I didn't believe what my dad said, I was going to feed them for more money, buy more ducks, and get more money, buy more ducks...... So that mom won't be upset.

Then my brother and I put the ducks in a big iron basin and watered their butter and oil chicks, and a few of them died that day, and within a few days only a couple remained.

My mother was very angry, and my brother and I just used the duck as a toy, but only said that the duck died, "Maybe it's too cold, they're landlubbers, they can't swim." ”

After that, I didn't dare to water the ducks anymore.

However, after raising them for almost two months, the two landlubbers lost their yellow hair and revealed their white hair, and they were bitten to death by mysterious mice.

I was so sad that I cried for a long time holding the duck's carcass. The mother was also very angry, so she asked the white cat to cooperate and catch the mouse.

Later, under the mother's efforts to catch mice, a female mouse with a litter of white and tender rat cubs was caught, which was eaten by the white cat.

Although the mother helped the duck avenge the blood, the duckling died after all. My dream of raising ducks to make money was shattered, and so was my father's dream of raising ducks for meat. Later, no matter how much I liked animals, I never asked my parents to spend money on them.

But I still love animals. I remember when I was eight or nine years old, it was the same distant relative who gave me a TV set and sent a pair of rabbits to my house, and my mother happily raised them in the backyard and sent me and my brother to feed the rabbits instead. I was so happy that I gladly accepted the assignment.

Rabbits have a particularly strong ability to burrow, and I once measured their burrows with a long, thin bamboo pole, which felt like a tree that was about to fork.

They also reproduce very quickly, giving birth to a litter of rabbits in less than a month, and soon after the rabbits have grown up, another litter of cute and lively rabbits has come out of the nest. When I was feeding, I would silently calculate how much money a rabbit could give my mother.

But for some reason, a slender male rabbit was inexplicably lost. Then the first litter of rabbits was lost, and the second litter was lost...... Before he could exchange the rabbit for money, he lost only one female rabbit. I asked my mother, "Did the rabbit open the hole to the west ditch and escape from there?" ”

My mother didn't want to say a word to me, so she made a neck sleeve for the female rabbit and tied it to the backyard, and the female rabbit had no chance to escape.

That year, it was not long after the beginning of winter. One day, Dad was cleaning up the manure in the sow pen, and the young couple in the backyard saw it and had an argument with my family, thinking that Dad was pulling their homestead and smashed a brick on Dad's head, and blood flowed from Dad's forehead to his face. The back window glass of my house was smashed by a stone, and you did it......" That scene will never be forgotten by me.

Later, my mother called the people from the village brigade to her home to judge the location of the foundation of the house, hoping to ask for medical expenses for my father.

It seems that my family is not reasonable, and my father can only consider himself unlucky when his head is broken, after all, no one let my parents keep pigs in the backyard, but it is our family's responsibility that the pigs arch the back wall. If the medical expenses are not recovered, it will be settled.

In the spring of '03, the pigs in the backyard of the house died of avian flu, and the young couple living in the backyard moved out. The reason is that they are unwilling to support the elderly, and the old man gave the homestead to the filial second daughter-in-law's family, and the backyard is also clean.

That year, I knew where the rabbit went, and it seemed that there was no disappearance and quarrel for no reason, but I preferred to believe that the rabbit had indeed opened the cave to Xigou and escaped from Xigou, but the mother rabbit had no chance to escape.

During the New Year, the family had no money to buy meat, and my mother asked my father to wipe the neck of the female rabbit to cook, and my father took a look, but he couldn't bear it, and he couldn't do it, and finally his mother found someone to make the female rabbit into a dish for Chinese New Year's Eve. It seems that after eating rabbits, life has returned to the days without rabbits.

The story about the three cats has been told before, except for the white cat and I spend the longest time together, which is my favorite, I am also impressed by the tanuki, the main reason is that the tanuki does not eat mice, likes to catch birds to eat, the cat walks lazily, sometimes light, sometimes agile as an arrow, I often sit in the yard and watch how it catches the sparrows that fall in the yard.

One spring, a nest of swallows landed on the eaves of my house, and a little swallow that had just crawled out had not yet flown away, so under my great protection, it was eaten by a tanuki basking in the yard without paying attention, which made me very sad, and the swallow parents flew away with the flying young swallows and never came back. The originally harmonious and peaceful home seems to have undergone subtle and indescribable changes after the tanuki ate the young swallows.

The Kuroko dog is the longest animal in my family, about eleven years and four months. When I gave birth a few years ago, my mother lost it while I was in confinement.

At home, when I got up in the morning, my father went to work in the city, forgot to lock the black dog in the yard, and then disappeared. Dad said, "The day before the dog was lost, a cannon was fired outside, and the black dog was scared out and never seen again." ”

And because of my father's simple and kind explanation, I fantasized that he had found a quiet place and left peacefully. After all, judging by its longevity, it will naturally leave at any time, and this is how it chooses to leave our home.

Somehow, I can remember in an unnoticed way how some animals exist and disappear around me, and I don't want to talk about having deep feelings, roughly after I was injured as a child, my head was overly sad, and I have blocked this function to avoid the pain of leaving, and self-regulation, self-shielding all the feelings that are in the sand.

The reason why I loved animals in my childhood was because of my nature. Why do you have a special feeling for animals, this has to start from the fact that my parents put me and my second sister, who are less than a year old, in order to avoid family planning, to take care of Aunt Donggou.

Of course, in those days when it was a complete black hole of memory, everything was heard and heard, and there was no memory. The only memory I have is when I was in middle school, I was in a dream, trapped in my aunt's house, it was pitch black in front of my eyes, the old scalper stared at me with round eyes, and I crawled out of a pile of ruins with sadness.

The beginning of this nightmare was too long, and then, the timeline in my memory, needs to start again from the original family. Suddenly I remembered the baby with a pig's tail in García Márquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude".

When I first read "One Hundred Years of Solitude", I felt magical colors and an indescribable sense of depression, but I only remembered that my close relatives got married and reincarnated to give birth to a baby with a pig's tail. But it is difficult for me to understand the twists and turns with my right head, so I tend to think with my left head.

The birth of a baby with a pig's tail is related to the birth and extinction of hemophilia in European history, and it is related to the royal history of Europe.

And in this way, my birth is also a product of the times and the Creator, the product of generations of good and poor ancestors.

It all starts with my great-grandmother. My great-grandmother was the first woman in the family to escape the cycle of fate. In her absurd era, at the behest of her parents and the words of the matchmaker, she married her poor husband who lived in the mountains and had a daughter. Unable to endure the beating of his husband, he fled from the mountain and took up the work of washing and washing at the kind landlord's house at the bottom of the mountain.

During this period, they got acquainted with a long-term worker of the landlord's family, and under the mediation of the kind landlord, the two of them cherished each other and lived together.

However, fate is ruthless and unjust, and he can't give Changgong a son and a half daughter. I can't remember that my daughter was unkempt in the black and poor ex-husband's house, endured hardships and hardships, and finally took her daughter to a new home to live and support.

As a result, my grandmother became the only daughter of a reconstituted family, enjoying the happiness of being rich and pampered by all her parents, but inheriting the genes of her poor father. The happiness that belongs to her quickly returns to the dull as she grows, and a white poor son-in-law accelerates the pace of happiness returning to the dull, so that the original life train is speeding to the unpredictable end.

My grandparents had five children, two sons and three daughters, my aunt was the eldest and my mother was the third. When I was 12 years old, during my mother's confinement of her first child, she overturned from a tractor and crushed to death. Except for the surname of the uncle and grandmother, the other children all have the surname of their grandfather.

My aunt is the eldest in line, inherited my grandmother's white wealth, inherited my grandfather's white poverty, and became a 2 white rich and poor, simply explained as a woman who is extremely kind and wise but lacks material life.

In those days, she was also a white middle-class girl. It's a pity that she was born at the wrong time, at the age of sixteen or seventeen, she was admitted to the university and got the university admission letter, but she was feudal and backward by the ideology of the previous generation, which gave her the opportunity to rewrite her destiny and the opportunity to rewrite her family.

So, the aunt, who was extremely kind and wise and lacked material life, was unwilling to be bound by fate, and in a fit of anger, she walked out of the mountains, and was introduced by the matchmaker to marry a horse herd who couldn't read a basket of big words, and started her bumpy life.

In my memory, my uncle first raised horses, then a donkey, then a flower cow, then an old cow, and then a few sows to this day.

When I was a child, I spent a lot of time at my aunt's house, and my favorite place to go during the holidays was my aunt's house, my aunt's cooking skills were extraordinary, and I often longed to go to my aunt's house to fill my stomach on those days when I always felt that I couldn't eat enough.

My uncle mainly weaved cages and tended to livestock at home, and hardly traveled far from home. The only time he went out was an incident that made his aunt and himself feel remorse and self-blame for the rest of their lives.

No matter how I talk about it, I can't describe the pain of my childhood memories. Perhaps only a supernatural "god" can be described to avoid memories falling into the abyss of mud and sand, unable to extricate themselves.

My aunt chose to go out of the deep mountains and old forests, inheriting her great-grandmother's will and becoming the second woman in the family to change her fate, and she once had a period of luck and happiness.

She gave birth to a son and a daughter. My cousin is in junior high school, he can't read, and he wants to learn cooking. I once read a letter from my aunt at his house, which was like a heart, telling about his love for cooking.

My cousin loves to read and paint, but she has no choice but family conditions, and for the sake of fairness, both of them went out to learn the craft, and they don't serve the job of a scholar.

When my cousin was thirteen or fourteen years old, she went into society, she looked sweet, but she didn't know that people were sinister, and she was deceived by traffickers into the mountains, and she went for more than ten years. was finally rescued, as if he had repaid the debt owed by his great-grandmother to rewrite her fate. This is the pain in my heart that I can't mention.

My aunt and uncle were kind and poor people, and spent most of their time around the animals and children in the pen, and rarely had some free time. treated her sister's daughter better than her own daughter, so that her daughter was resentful, and she was willing to train her daughter to be an angel, but she couldn't stand the dark hearts of this society.

When I was in junior high school, an unknown distant man brought back a message from my cousin, a pathetic note. My aunt and uncle cried excitedly like two children, and my mother cried excitedly.

When I was in high school, my cousins and cousins were all married. The cousin suddenly became a bastard, unwilling to marry the girl who was in love, and finally became a bastard adult under the persecution of his aunt and uncle, smoking, drinking, playing cards, gambling, playing slot machines, etc., and lost all the family's savings in a few years, and owed more than 200,000 foreign debts.

The suffering turned around and pressed on the uncle and aunt, the son is a cook who does not make money, and asking relatives and friends everywhere to borrow money once made the family extremely embarrassed, and the new daughter-in-law also went out to work, where does the nursery fee of several hundred yuan a month come from for the two young sons? A lifetime of hard work is not enough to pay off the debt.

What can be done? Who made them parents, they didn't have the pain of educating their sons well, so they had to break their teeth and swallow them in their stomachs. Fortunately, the kindness accumulated by my uncle and aunt finally touched God, and my cousin suddenly realized his absurdity after eight or nine years of absurdity, and woke up in the perseverance of the aging old man who did not give up, and learned from the pain to be a new person.

The suffering will not end there, but it will grow.